# Ladies Advise Needed **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [April 12, 2007, 11:18am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084 "2007-04-12T11:18:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![hock](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/hock/32/2113_2.png) [@hock](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/hock)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 11:18am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084/1 "2007-04-12T11:18:40Z")
Dear Ladies, Pls pardon my intrusion. Jasmin had asked me to come to the women’s forum to seek your advises on my situation as ladies maybe in a better position to offer incredible tips and insights that the men just can’t. My situation is such that I have been infactuated with a lady who is older than me by 9 years. We were friends for a year before I had confessed to her that I love her before and requested her to get into a relationship with me. She had rejected my request, initially, and I decided to stop pursing her heart. However, three weeks later, when she confessed that she did have feelings for me, I proposed again and she agreed on my second request. It lasted very briefly for less than two weeks before she decided to stop it. Throughout I was feeling very insecure most of the time. She would be nice to me sometimes, ignore or be very cold to me the next. 😕 That had caused me to become emotional in front of her. We did have a sexual encounter once, but I did not want to have full intercourse, because I didn’t want to do that with her when I suspected she wasn’t sure if she could totally commit to me. It took every ounce of self control at that moment. Thas many months ago. After we ended that relationship, I was frightened to see her. I find that nowadays, I am different from the past. I am very nervous when I talk to her. I can’t be humurous like before when we were friends and she doesn’t laugh that often.I had contacted her once a while only and we meet up once in a two months average. I think she is fearful of getting too close to me nowadays.I do not dare frankly to try any more advances because I fear that I would lose the friendship for good if I did. Although I seldom contact her, I still love her deeply and I really want to win her heart. Even if its going to take a long time, I do not mind. I hope that you guys can advise me on what is the best way I could go about it. Thanks very much!!🙂 Sincerely, Hock ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084/2 "2007-04-12T21:16:46Z")
heres what,hock: i have problems with people claiming that they do not know when someone is in love with them. i think we all get a vibe that states _this one thinks im special_. with that said, shes obviously conflicted. if things got heated between me and a guy and he suddenly said “no intercourse” _after getting me heated_, first i would have to run a few miles … and then after my aggressions were out in a healthy way, id END IT. its not fair from either end, but gals imediately think " no way is he interested if he backed out" > [@](#): > > I think she is fearful of getting too close to me nowadays.I do not dare frankly to try any more advances because I fear that I would lose the friendship for good if I did. i understand her, i was friends with someone 7 yrs my junior for a few years before he tried something, and thats when the friendship ended. not that i didnt want him, but he _flaked_ when we got together. suddenly my buddy who was comfortable around me was afraid to fool around. anyhoo, i think you are sincere and i think asking her out more often is your ticket. meet every other day for coffee, or something mundane. get on a comfort level with her again. if she thinks your going to bolt everytime you both get a little close, she will behave colder and mixed up. with THAT said, wear instant shine around her … [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/) 1.5 is sort of shiny, maybe some IH to open her up as well. these arent to make her different, only to make her more comfortable. thats what i would do, but im not the one that should be giving advice romantically 🙄 when it comes to love, im the reaper [http://www.smilieshq.com/smilies/sign0132.gif](http://www.smilieshq.com/smilies/sign0132.gif) ---
**Author:** ![nbully79](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c68b51/32.png) [@nbully79](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/nbully79)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084/3 "2007-04-12T22:27:08Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > if things got heated between me and a guy and he suddenly said “no intercourse” _after getting me heated_, first i would have to run a few miles … and then after my aggressions were out in a healthy way, id END IT. > > its not fair from either end, but > gals imediately think " no way is he interested if he backed out" Man, I have made this mistake quite a few times and not once did it work out. I am sorry, although I hope things work out for you! My thinking at those times was that now we know both of us are interested, so let’s take it slow. BAD F\*\*\*\*\*\* IDEA! ---
**Author:** ![EnchantedApril](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/enchantedapril/32/2385_2.png) [@EnchantedApril](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/EnchantedApril)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 12:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084/4 "2007-04-13T00:03:38Z")
OK. All the nervousness. When you do this with her, in front of her in anyway, she might be having a maternal response to you which is not what you want INITIALLY romantically. She probably already really FEELS the age difference. The more you can CALMLY with MASCULINE AUTHORITY (I can’t remember the Men’s mone for that, but the FEMALE is MX134) be patient and interested with her, do that. Pursue patiently. Rather than JUMP (sounded like a jump, maybe it wasn’t) into a SEXUAL relationship with her, take her on ROMANTIC DATES. Yes, pick her up, wear a jacket (spiff up a bit so she SEES and FEELS you are SERIOUS about this, not just wanting a fling), take her out. WOO. Flowers. Little romantic gifts. You will soften her heart to you. Display your steadfastness and then only KISS her. Oh, wear your really SEX [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) around date 4 or 5. I just don’t know all the men’s mones. Here for the ladies, we have Essence of Woman or Lust After Me which is for SEX. Then we have Instant Sexiness A. That equivalent is good for early dates. It conveys sex appeal without having too strong an intention. Woo her. Ask her out. Don’t drop too often that you love her. Just display fidelity of your intentions. Women appreciate it. We soften over it. We start to think, “Hey, he really means it.” By which I mean, ask her out once a week. I’d aim for a Thursday or Friday night date initially and reserve asking for a Sat night date until things are established. Wait for pursuing sex until you’ve been dating 6-8 wks if you can POSSIBLY hold out that long. Take her to the movies and dinner. Out dancing. To the symphony or the ballet or things she likes that are a bit adult (by which I mean refined, not XXX, lol!). My late husband was 14 yrs older than I. I know HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLES where the lady is more than 10 yrs older than the man. He PURSUED. She originally almost didn’t recognize/believe it. But he just kept asking her out. Bring ROSES with you weekly. Feel free to vary the color. “Faint heart never won fair lady.” Treat her like your fair lady, and you MAY win her heart for your own. Treat her heart like it is the most delicate and precious thing in the world to you. Hope this helps! April ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 12:18am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084/5 "2007-04-13T00:18:52Z")
> [@nbully79](#): > > Man, I have made this mistake quite a few times and not once did it work out. I am sorry, although I hope things work out for you! > My thinking at those times was that now we know both of us are interested, so let’s take it slow. BAD F\*\*\*\*\*\* IDEA! im sad to agree with you NBully79. all we as women can think is “OMG is he suddenly turned off? has he changed his mind? was this a test? did he just want to see if i would?” :o ---
**Author:** ![Nunya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ac8455/32.png) [@Nunya](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Nunya)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 11:00am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084/6 "2007-04-13T11:00:42Z")
> [@EnchantedApril](#): > > Bring ROSES with you weekly. Feel free to vary the color. This line cracked me up. I do agree with Enchanted April tho - you have to drop the nervous nelly thing and man up. Confident, stable, not cowed by her, but enamored of her at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 1:10pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084/7 "2007-04-13T13:10:53Z")
Great post April. I have to agree confidence is very important. Get comfortable with her again. Let her know that you value her friendship and wish for it to go on. After you have established that start getting romantic. April has great suggestions for that. Women cant stand wishy washy men they try to mother them. Its just in our nature. Manly Authority without being pushy or rude is perfect. MX314is what the men use for Authority but defiantly check out the mens forum because they are better at suggesting the mens products. If after you become more romantic she dosnt seem interested it may be time to back down. You dont want to ruin the friendship or appear creepy. I know you probably dont want to hear this but sometimes its just not ment to be. Good luck Tisha ---
**Author:** ![nbully79](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c68b51/32.png) [@nbully79](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/nbully79)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 3:00pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084/8 "2007-04-13T15:00:14Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > with THAT said, wear instant shine around her … > Ammo 1.5 is sort of shiny, maybe some Instant Honesty to open her up as well. I second Lor’s advice. IShine will be great for removing your nervousness around her. Add a little of Ammo 1.5 for later meetings. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![EnchantedApril](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/enchantedapril/32/2385_2.png) [@EnchantedApril](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/EnchantedApril)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2007, 6:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084/9 "2007-04-14T06:37:33Z")
Hmm. In sales we talk about Make the Opportunity. So, don’t just react and feel, “it wasn’t meant to be” toooo soon. If you want a committed romantic relationship with, yes, gasp, possibly marriage, you need to know that in yourself first to lead steadfastly towards that. Should it not work out, you will have pursued VALIANTLY in a MANLY way. She will respond to that, even if she doesn’t choose you for her groom. She’ll appreciate you. She’ll respect you. And the just kiss her thing, that’s to help her to FEEL her wanting you sexually in a very safe way. Let her experience your self control in WAITING as it gives us a physical and emotional safety: he’ll be hear afterwards and conveys that you care about HER and her pleasure, not your rushing for your gusto, ahem, without hers. 😃 When we talk of “don’t be a creep,” that’s guy behavior. There was a wonderful movie with Ione Skye and I think John Cusak from the late 80s. The fab line was, “don’t be a guy. the world is full of guys. be a man.” Knowing in yourself first that you want her seriously (as opposed to simply sexual desire wanting), THAT is where you can communicate your assuredness, your masculinity in that. LEAD. We get all kittenish and girlish with that. “ooo. Really?” I’m glad folks here liked my comment about varying the colors of the roses. tee hee. I said that because some men are so darling and follow the advise like technical documentation - “Bring flowers.” And do so, bless their darling hearts. But it can become robotic. When I say vary the color, I mean get into the romance of it. If you see BEAUTIFUL flowers one week at the store, give her those. If she starts to say, “I LOVE yellow roses,” by all means, give her those. I understood you want her and are not just trying to be friends. Maybe I misunderstood all of your hopes and the layers of them. So, I would say, be clear and ask for dates. And IN those dates, be her dear friend, her dear MAN friend. Don’t try to get into her good graces just by trying to be her friend when what your intentions are is to woo her heart. I don’t know quite how to put it. She might spurn your friendship having been wounded before and sort of not trusting you. By behaving as if you want her friendship, you might get her maternal side. But by wooing her, you heal her heart with your romantic fidelity, and win all of her. Cherish her. Oh, and the age difference thing. The age difference may make her feel her maternal self. That was part of what I meant in the early part of my previous post. Go for it, in the most chivalrous, gallant, steadfast way. I’m holding HOPE for you in this. Bon chance! April ---
**Author:** ![hock](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/hock/32/2113_2.png) [@hock](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/hock)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2007, 9:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084/10 "2007-04-16T09:31:52Z")
Dear everyone, Thanks for the good advises. Rgd to the part where I backed off from having sex with her, we were already half naked and engaged in heavy foreplay. But when she asked me whether I wanted her because of her body or because I love her, I had to exercise restrain and prove I’m sincere. Moreover, given the situation of her always being uncertain of her feelings for me, I felt that it would be a nasty thing to do if I would to start having sex with her. And if I love her truely, I wouldn’t do that. ---
**Author:** ![EnchantedApril](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/enchantedapril/32/2385_2.png) [@EnchantedApril](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/EnchantedApril)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2007, 11:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ladies-advise-needed/3084/11 "2007-04-16T23:02:58Z")
Superb restraint!