# Making a baby!

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/making-a-baby/4067>\
**Category:** Lounge\
**Created:** [June 11, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/making-a-baby/4067 "2007-06-11T17:14:38Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@sophie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sophie)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/making-a-baby/4067/1 "2007-06-11T17:14:38Z")

</div>

**MAKING A BABY**  
\>  
\> The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a  
\> surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father\>  
\> was to arrive,  
\>  
\> Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,  
\> “Well, I’m off now The man should be here soon.”  
\>  
\> Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer  
\>\> happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.  
\>  
\> Good morning, Ma’am", he said, “I’ve come to…‘’  
\>  
\> Oh, no need to explain,” Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed,  
\>  
\> “I’ve been expecting you.”  
\> “Have you really?” said the photographer. “Well, that’s good.  
\>  
\> Did you know babies are my specialty?”  
\>  
\> “Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.”  
\>\> After a moment she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”  
\>  
\> “Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch,  
\>  
\> and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun.  
\>  
\> You can really spread out there.”  
\>  
\> “Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and me!”  
\>  
\> “Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.  
\> But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,  
\>  
\> I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”  
\>  
\> “My, that’s a lot!” gasped Mrs. Smith.  
\>  
\> “Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out  
\>  
\> in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.”  
\>  
\> “Don’t I know it,” said Mrs. Smith quietly.  
\>  
\> The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.  
\>  
\> “This was done on the top of a bus,” he said.  
\>  
\> “Oh my God!” Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.  
\>  
\> “And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was  
so difficult to work with.”  
\>  
\> “She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Smith.  
\>  
\> “Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right.  
\>  
\> People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.”  
\>  
\> “Four and five deep?” sai d Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.  
\>  
\> “Yes”, the photographer replied. “And for more than three hours, too.  
\>  
\> The mother was constantly squealing and yelling -  
\>  
\> I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.  
\>  
\> Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.”  
\>  
\> Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh… equipment?”  
\>  
\> “It’s true, Ma’am, yes. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my  
\> tripod and we can get to work right away.”  
\>  
\> “Tripod?”  
\>  
\> “Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.  
\> It’s much too big to be held in the hand very long.”  
\>  
\> Mrs. Smith fainted.  
\>

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