# Marketing in the dating world: Information for nice guys

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/marketing-in-the-dating-world-information-for-nice-guys/29016>\
**Category:** Lounge\
**Created:** [May 16, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/marketing-in-the-dating-world-information-for-nice-guys/29016 "2009-05-16T00:49:02Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![TheAttractor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/theattractor/32/575_2.png) [@TheAttractor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheAttractor)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/marketing-in-the-dating-world-information-for-nice-guys/29016/1 "2009-05-16T00:49:02Z")

</div>

We all know that nice guys finish last. They’re treat women very well, never hurt them, always do things like open doors and stuff, and never overstep what they perceive to be their boundaries. Yet what happens in the end? They get either get rejected outright or get stuck in the friend zone. (I’d actually prefer the former than the latter, because at least I know where I stand.) But what’s wrong with this picture? Don’t women want to be treated nicely? Yes, but they also want a challenge that jerks typically provide. The challenge intrigues them enough to feel attracted to a jerk, even though he treats women poorly.

But is it possible to be a challenge and still be nice, so you can attract women and treat them well at the same time? Numerous pick-up guides explain how to overcome that first step where being a challenge is crucial. I’d like to illustrate that concept by borrowing the concept of marketing from the business world. It’s been used to teach people to sell themselves during job interviews, where the product is what you can bring in to the company. But it also works in the dating world, where the product is a relationship you can give. For nice guys, the product is a relationship with a nice guy.

Now, for women, this “product” has the following benefits.

- Safety and security of knowing that she’ll always be treated well
- Feeling respected at all times
- Not having to worry about being pressured into kissing, sex, and anything in between
- Being assured of her partner’s faithfulness

But what’s missing that women desire? A challenge. Think of being challenging as a package for the relationship you’re willing to give. You need to have a presentable “package” (not _that_ package 🙂) in order to create attraction. Case in point: when given cut-up vegetables in a McDonalds container, children described them as better-tasting than those straight from the fridge. It’s the same food item that kids know is better for them, yet the packaging is what convinces them. Because for kids, McDonalds = good taste; similarly, for a lot of women, challenging guy = desirable guy.

So what can you do? Present yourself in a challenging way, so that you can spark attraction. You may be reluctant to change. But you’re not changing who you are, and you’re not turning yourself into a jerk. All you’re doing is modifying the package to make it more marketable. And I don’t see it as manipulation, either; you’re only giving people what they subconsciously want. Once you’ve gotten past the initial stage where creating attraction (by being challenging) is critical, you can still do the traditional “nice guy” things. But then they’ll be viewed in the context of being a great boyfriend, instead of a great friend (a.k.a. the friend zone).

There’s plenty of material out there on how to be a challenging guy, so I won’t post it here, otherwise this post will take up way too much space. But in one sentence, challenging means not being always available and not bending over backwards to someone’s every whim. And if this post somehow sounds anti-female, I apologize in advance: it’s unintentional, and is not meant to be viewed as such.