# Men: whats the secret to getting yall in datemode? **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [October 18, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382 "2009-10-18T00:58:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![immaculate\_concepts](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/immaculate_concepts/32/2445_2.png) [@immaculate\_concepts](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/immaculate_concepts)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/1 "2009-10-18T00:58:43Z")
i hope this doesnt come off sounding too bad. but i’m 20, and all my friends have the same problem, guys our age don’t want to date! they really just want to screw and thats all. barely anyone around here is in a relationship, but i know that relationships still happen ( so theres hope 🙂) im just wondering from you guys perspective, whats the difference between a girl you wanna date and a girl you wanna hit-n-quit? any advice, ladies too if ya can 🙂 😃 ---
**Author:** ![meow333x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@meow333x](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/meow333x)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 2:26am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/2 "2009-10-18T02:26:40Z")
> [@immaculate\_concepts](#): > > i hope this doesnt come off sounding too bad. but i’m 20, and all my friends have the same problem, guys our age don’t want to date! they really just want to screw and thats all. barely anyone around here is in a relationship, but i know that relationships still happen ( so theres hope 🙂) im just wondering from you guys perspective, whats the difference between a girl you wanna date and a girl you wanna hit-n-quit? any advice, ladies too if ya can 🙂 😃 i’ll date you…you live anywhere near texas? ---
**Author:** ![jamesbonded](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/jamesbonded/32/2090_2.png) [@jamesbonded](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jamesbonded)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/3 "2009-10-18T02:44:15Z")
You haven’t meet the right guy. Those who just want to screw are not worth to date. ---
**Author:** ![MuskCloud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@MuskCloud](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MuskCloud)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 4:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/4 "2009-10-18T16:43:34Z")
The secret is time. The problem is that men are driven by testosterone. This sneaky cad of a hormone blocks oxytocin. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone and plays a large part in pair-bonding and the formation of a relationship for both sexes. At the beginning of a relationship, testosterone is in full flow. I personally don’t believe in love at first sight. For nearly all men, ‘lust at first sight’ is a better description. If you give in straight off the bat, you’ll be lying in bed thinking you’ve bonded for life, as women have very little testosterone to block the oxytocin. He’s wondering what’s on TV, or even planning his next conquest, because we’re also wired to spread our genetic material far and wide. You’ll be nothing but a notch on his bedpost. How do you stop that? Make him work for it. I think you know what I mean by that. 😉 Men are wired to chase. If he is genuinely interested in you as long-term dating material, he won’t mind taking the slow path, chasing and seducing you slowly. The ones out for a quick lay will lose interest fast. Give the oxytocin time to get out of the headlock that testosterone puts it in, and you’ll get what you want. Musk ---
**Author:** ![Aggie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f07891/32.png) [@Aggie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Aggie)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/5 "2009-10-18T19:29:30Z")
Well maybe I’m testosterone deficient. Because I seem to bond really quick. Is there a [pheromone](https://pheromonelabs.com/) for that? hahaha ---
**Author:** ![meow333x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@meow333x](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/meow333x)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 11:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/6 "2009-10-18T23:45:27Z")
no seriously tho..here’s how men rate women…they look at three broad criteria to determine how to clasify them (this assumes you are dealing with a healthy, well adjusted man and not someone who is desperate, needy or codependent): 1. looks 2. sexual performance. 3. mental/emotional stuff -this one is the broadest of them all and includes things like how bitchy/self centered you are, how crazy/annoying you are, or what kind of mind games you like to play. generally, you have to get good marks in 2 out of the 3 categories to be considered dateable…here are some following examples: -say you’re not very good looking, but you’re great in bed and you are fun to be around…then you’re a keeper. -say you are horrible in bed, but you’re hot and you’re emotionally stable…then you’re still a good catch even tho more than likely eventually the guy will either ditch you for something better or have something on the side to satisfy your sexual shortcomings. \*\*\*\*\*here’s where you ladies need to pay attention cause most of you are either oblivious about this or really fuck it up. there are certain things on that list that will automatically make you undatealbe no matter how well you do on the other stuff. things like being crazy…if you have that one going on…it doesn’t matter how hot you are or how many tricks you can do with your tongue, you will not graduate beyond “walking vagina” status. ya, i know you women are gonna have a kneejerk reaction and say crap like, “i’m not like that…there’s something wrong with you men” get real. how much time a day do you spend on your looks and how much time do you spend on your emotional stability. i win 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![scotties123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@scotties123](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/scotties123)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/7 "2009-10-18T23:53:58Z")
> [@immaculate\_concepts](#): > > i hope this doesnt come off sounding too bad. but i’m 20, and all my friends have the same problem, guys our age don’t want to date! they really just want to screw and thats all. barely anyone around here is in a relationship, but i know that relationships still happen ( so theres hope 🙂) im just wondering from you guys perspective, whats the difference between a girl you wanna date and a girl you wanna hit-n-quit? any advice, ladies too if ya can 🙂 😃 I think you’re just going to have to accept the fact that 95% of the guys your age are not interested in a serious relationship, and if they are they don’t know it until much later than you’re probably willing to wait to get that response from them. But I also have to add that you can blame 99% of girls your age for this. The good guy that wants a relationship doesn’t get the time of day because he’s too nice or not assertive enough in the girl’s view. So instead of being with the nice guy that will take things slow and let the relationship develop, girls go to the guy that treats them like crap, and of course all those guys want is sex. So my answer is, I have no answer 🙄. Find the guy that takes it slow or go with the fast guy that drops you as fast as he picked you up. By the way, I’m not insinuating that you are like the girls I mentioned, it’s just a generalization about girls your age. ---
**Author:** ![K-Train](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/k-train/32/2253_2.png) [@K-Train](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/K-Train)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/8 "2009-10-19T01:28:29Z")
> [@scotties123](#): > > I think you’re just going to have to accept the fact that 95% of the guys your age are not interested in a serious relationship, and if they are they don’t know it until much later than you’re probably willing to wait to get that response from them. But I also have to add that you can blame 99% of girls your age for this. The good guy that wants a relationship doesn’t get the time of day because he’s too nice or not assertive enough in the girl’s view. So instead of being with the nice guy that will take things slow and let the relationship develop, girls go to the guy that treats them like crap, and of course all those guys want is sex. So my answer is, I have no answer 🙄. Find the guy that takes it slow or go with the fast guy that drops you as fast as he picked you up. > By the way, I’m not insinuating that you are like the girls I mentioned, it’s just a generalization about girls your age. This^^^🙂 Right now I’m looking for a “stable” relationship and I was going to go for it with my current girl of interest but her possesive/obsessive side surfaced and it wasn’t nice. I’m sure she wouldn’t say no to dating me but after that episode she had I’m taking things extra slow. She’s hot though, and lots of fun to be around. Of course, I was wearing [P83](https://a314.com/product/p83/) at the time so…🙄 ---
**Author:** ![LeafStamp](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/leafstamp/32/376_2.png) [@LeafStamp](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/LeafStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 11:18am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/9 "2009-10-19T11:18:12Z")
In two days I’ll officially have been in a relationship for 8 months. (Unofficially more like 10 months). We met through mutual friends, more or less. As a general rule - go for the guys who you meet through mutual friends or social clubs rather than at parties. Though this seems to be almost a given… I don’t see many other 20 year old guys really wanting a relationship. Very very few of us around. Ah well 🙂 The non-assertive ones are usually the relationship type. But that’s just really because they tend to be more beta - meaning you can boss them around more, and they’ll be so flattered that you’re paying attention to them… I think it all comes down to luck. Don’t compromise on your own standards and you should be fine for now 🙂 He’ll be along eventually! ---
**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 1:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/10 "2009-10-19T13:28:04Z")
More [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/), less Instant Sexiness. maybe. > [@immaculate\_concepts](#): > > i hope this doesnt come off sounding too bad. but i’m 20, and all my friends have the same problem, guys our age don’t want to date! they really just want to screw and thats all. barely anyone around here is in a relationship, but i know that relationships still happen ( so theres hope 🙂) im just wondering from you guys perspective, whats the difference between a girl you wanna date and a girl you wanna hit-n-quit? any advice, ladies too if ya can 🙂 😃 Hit-n-Quit, sounds like you ladies need to quit putting out… Then the cycle would be broken, most guys in their late teens early 20’s are not ready to be tied down, so they are in the dump and run mode. I would say shift your scale a few years higher, the 22-29 crowd were guys are stabilized, a bit and getting ready to look at family and having one nice person for life. I am not saying No sex ever, but the old date rules apply, Chaste kiss on first date kissing and petting on second and third. (you have to let him feel like he is getting somewhere) then anything goes, it gives you both a chance to figure out if your are compatible, because 90% of the time the sex is good. Personally I am looking to settle down, but all the women in my age range are out of bad relationships and do not want to settle down. > [@scotties123](#): > > I think you’re just going to have to accept the fact that 95% of the guys your age are not interested in a serious relationship, and if they are they don’t know it until much later than you’re probably willing to wait to get that response from them. But I also have to add that you can blame 99% of girls your age for this. The good guy that wants a relationship doesn’t get the time of day because he’s too nice or not assertive enough in the girl’s view. So instead of being with the nice guy that will take things slow and let the relationship develop, girls go to the guy that treats them like crap, and of course all those guys want is sex. So my answer is, I have no answer 🙄. Find the guy that takes it slow or go with the fast guy that drops you as fast as he picked you up. > By the way, I’m not insinuating that you are like the girls I mentioned, it’s just a generalization about girls your age. ---
**Author:** ![Butterfly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/butterfly/32/1942_2.png) [@Butterfly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/11 "2009-10-19T16:19:20Z")
> [@MuskCloud](#): > > The secret is time. The problem is that men are driven by testosterone. This sneaky cad of a hormone blocks oxytocin. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone and plays a large part in pair-bonding and the formation of a relationship for both sexes. > > At the beginning of a relationship, testosterone is in full flow. I personally don’t believe in love at first sight. For nearly all men, ‘lust at first sight’ is a better description. > > If you give in straight off the bat, you’ll be lying in bed thinking you’ve bonded for life, as women have very little testosterone to block the oxytocin. He’s wondering what’s on TV, or even planning his next conquest, because we’re also wired to spread our genetic material far and wide. > > You’ll be nothing but a notch on his bedpost. > > How do you stop that? Make him work for it. I think you know what I mean by that. 😉 Men are wired to chase. If he is genuinely interested in you as long-term dating material, he won’t mind taking the slow path, chasing and seducing you slowly. The ones out for a quick lay will lose interest fast. > > Give the oxytocin time to get out of the headlock that testosterone puts it in, and you’ll get what you want. > > Musk Musk and Wolfy are right, take the time. No man can turn you into his hussy without your cooperation. At first, when a guy approaches you, he is in lust not love. If you accept this, you can use it to your advantage. The ugly side is that if he can consummate this lust, his appetite is sated and there is not love to bind him to you. Duty may, pride may and honor may but they also may not. The bright side is that in the fires of lust, love can be quickened. If a man is in lust, you have his attention, that gives you time to awaken his interest so he can get to know you. With time he can see all that is beautiful and special and tender in you and fall in love. The other thing is the first impression you may. It is good to be sexy enough to stir the passions of men, but if you compromise your ladyhood and individuality in the name of sex appeal, men will want you for one thing only. The girl in the fitted dress and cute heels gets nice dates, the girl in the micromini and platforms mainly gets indecent proposals. Divide the road from a peck on your cheek to The Act into a thousand tiny steps. Let a man progress, but s-l-o-w-l-y, a few steps at a time. No man is in love after 3 dates. Not all know they are after 10. Have patience for him to discover his feelings for you. Wait until you are sure of his love, until he has professed and proven it. But, while you are waiting, make it clear that you desire him more and more each date. Without moving faster than he does. Let him lead and follow him a few steps, then leave the rest for the next time. So he will look forward to the next time. Again and again. There are few truly good guys as there are few truly bad ones. Most are shades of grey. Guys can confuse lust and love. A guy looking for love can and will dump you after sex if he “falls out of love”, a guy looking for sex can and will stay with you forever if you turn out to be indispensable to his happiness. Still, your most important duty while dating is to learn about a man’s values and see if he is the man you can accept as your partner. ---
**Author:** ![Eldros](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/eldros/32/279_2.png) [@Eldros](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Eldros)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/12 "2009-10-19T17:43:03Z")
show us that you can fit your whole hand into your mouth jk. Why do people date, or at least, why did people use to date? Because two people were interested in each other and wanted to get to know each other better. What you need to do is find a guy who has the same interests as you and go for it. He’ll think you’re the best girl in the world if you show that you enjoy doing the same things he does… and know how to cook 🙂 This can be reciprocated by guys too. For instance, recently i’ve been taking dancing classes and suddenly, i’m like liquid gold to girls? why? because they love that i can do something with them that they really really enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/13 "2009-10-19T19:51:52Z")
> [@Eldros](#): > > Why do people date, or at least, why did people use to date? Because two people were interested in each other and wanted to get to know each other better. What you need to do is find a guy who has the same interests as you and go for it. He’ll think you’re the best girl in the world if you show that you enjoy doing the same things he does… and know how to cook 🙂 Correct, why date, when you can hookup, get your rocks off and move on, with no strings attached? A local high school has one of the highest percentages of students to teen pregnancy in the country. and everyone is doing it because it is the “cool” thing to do. Yet some guys complain that girls want more of a commitment than just dating. A friend’s 14 year old Ninth grader said he was not taking a date to homecoming because “Girls want a Commitment” and he was not ready for that. His mother smiled. “We”(the mother’s peer group) said “wow, have times changed” in our years in the same group of kids everyone dated freely, and seldom was there a lasting commitment, but then we did not have sex at that age, as there was never a place to get away and “hook-up” we talked, found out things about each other and moved along for differences. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 8:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/14 "2009-10-19T20:27:46Z")
Always make sure to tweet how bad he is in the sack too, almost 40% of people post on twitter after sex… [How Addicting is Social Media? | Retrevo](http://www.retrevo.com/content/blog/facebooktwitternewcigarette) ---
**Author:** ![immaculate\_concepts](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/immaculate_concepts/32/2445_2.png) [@immaculate\_concepts](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/immaculate_concepts)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 2:42am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/15 "2009-10-20T02:42:37Z")
> [@MuskCloud](#): > > The secret is time. The problem is that men are driven by testosterone. This sneaky cad of a hormone blocks oxytocin. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone and plays a large part in pair-bonding and the formation of a relationship for both sexes. > > At the beginning of a relationship, testosterone is in full flow. I personally don’t believe in love at first sight. For nearly all men, ‘lust at first sight’ is a better description. > > If you give in straight off the bat, you’ll be lying in bed thinking you’ve bonded for life, as women have very little testosterone to block the oxytocin. He’s wondering what’s on TV, or even planning his next conquest, because we’re also wired to spread our genetic material far and wide. > > You’ll be nothing but a notch on his bedpost. > > How do you stop that? Make him work for it. I think you know what I mean by that. 😉 Men are wired to chase. If he is genuinely interested in you as long-term dating material, he won’t mind taking the slow path, chasing and seducing you slowly. The ones out for a quick lay will lose interest fast. > > Give the oxytocin time to get out of the headlock that testosterone puts it in, and you’ll get what you want. > > Musk wow this was really an interesting and unusual answer lol. i like the scientific parts but the chase makes sense ive heard of it but no one really knows what it means 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![MuskCloud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@MuskCloud](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MuskCloud)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 10:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/16 "2009-10-20T10:27:18Z")
> [@immaculate\_concepts](#): > > but the chase makes sense ive heard of it but no one really knows what it means 🙄 You can’t be serious. 🙂 Are you? The chase, Immaculate, means to flirt with, woo, court and romance a lady… ring a bell? To pursue with romantic, amorous intent. Musk ---
**Author:** ![Eldros](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/eldros/32/279_2.png) [@Eldros](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Eldros)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 2:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/17 "2009-10-20T14:40:45Z")
> [@MuskCloud](#): > > You can’t be serious. 🙂 Are you? > > The chase, Immaculate, means to flirt with, woo, court and romance a lady… ring a bell? To pursue with romantic, amorous intent. > > Musk i wouldnt say that men are wired to chase, im more of a fisher myself. take the bait and reel em in ---
**Author:** ![meow333x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@meow333x](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/meow333x)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 5:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/18 "2009-10-21T05:43:48Z")
ok, immaculate, i think you need to clarify your question…are you looking to TURN guys that just want to fuck you into guys that want to date you…or are you asking how you find guys that are already in date mode. there is a big difference between the two. ---
**Author:** ![immaculate\_concepts](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/immaculate_concepts/32/2445_2.png) [@immaculate\_concepts](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/immaculate_concepts)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/19 "2009-10-21T18:28:38Z")
> [@meow333x](#): > > ok, immaculate, i think you need to clarify your question…are you looking to TURN guys that just want to fuck you into guys that want to date you…or are you asking how you find guys that are already in date mode. there is a big difference between the two. the first one LOL ---
**Author:** ![scotties123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@scotties123](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/scotties123)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382/20 "2009-10-21T22:22:39Z")
> [@immaculate\_concepts](#): > > the first one LOL not happening. next question 😃 [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/men-whats-the-secret-to-getting-yall-in-datemode/33382.md?page=2)