# Men's Issues **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [August 19, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939 "2010-08-19T20:13:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jedi\_Nights](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/jedi_nights/32/346_2.png) [@Jedi\_Nights](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Jedi_Nights)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/1 "2010-08-19T20:13:10Z")
What are men’s issues? Watch this short flash video to get a beginning idea. Societal forces like chivalry, misandry and the onerous male sex role of provide and protect have been having the unfortunate consequence of obscuring the needs of men. This short video will give you an introductory glimpse of some men’s issues. [![](https://us1.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/uploads/pheromonetalk/original/2X/4/4e64849a3590ec3d0f5e74fdd264343e5c4fd01e.jpeg "Men's Issues") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57EWApOypIQ) . ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/2 "2010-08-19T23:09:01Z")
I’m gonna watch this vid, but wanna make a suggestion for any men when they read this to pick up a couple of books: The Way Of The Superior Man and Iron John. Then, if you don’t have any. Go out and get some guy friends, as tough as nails, alpha as you can find. Guys who will call you on your shit, stick your ass through fire to smelt your psyche clean…now time to watch the vid, last one was great. ---
**Author:** ![ElectraComplex](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/electracomplex/32/1257_2.png) [@ElectraComplex](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ElectraComplex)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/3 "2010-08-20T00:25:23Z")
> Jedi\_Nights > > What are men’s issues? Watch this short flash video to get a beginning idea. Societal forces like chivalry, misandry and the onerous male sex role of provide and protect have been having the unfortunate consequence of obscuring the needs of men. This short video will give you an introductory glimpse of some men’s issues. > > [YouTube- Men’s Issues](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57EWApOypIQ) I actually want to make a few points against misandry. I don’t know how many guys I’ve known with mommy issues or ex-girlfriend issues.Its not cool.I have a son so I honestly feel a need to understand guys from that point.Male bashing is probably one of the bigger reasons I have a select few female friends. Gender itself can be almost a disability for guys; girls may not see how right off the bat but I think if a girl actually thinks about it things will make sense.I’m not saying things should go back to a patriarchal society but it shouldn’t be matriarchal either. How to balance things is tricky though both sides have wants and needs and those wants and needs vary. Biologically both men and women are wired certain ways.We can to a point consciously evolve past this point but in the end we’re only human. “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Women by far are some of the most vindictive creatures if you get on their bad side. I myself am guilty of this to a point. Biologically speaking we’re smaller and tend to have less general strength so maybe it goes back to some earlier time. A woman will hold onto a guys “screw ups” for years and use them as verbal ammo. Years of someone beating you down emotionally takes its toll and guys end up being more jerkish. Anyone hurt emotionally for any extended period is going to wind up angry,sad,frustrated and jaded. I think one of the key things lacking is respect. The gender war has gone on for years. Yes, women were discriminated against before and yes there are bad apples in every bunch. However, I think its wrong to demand for respect of our differences without accepting the differences of others. Also biases one way or another are liable to cause more of an imbalance. Misandry hurts both sides women are taught to “watch out” and “be careful” with men which can make us excessively skittish depending on who’s doing the teaching.A lot of girls are still raised to find that good supporter or this or that which puts most of the load on guys and leaves some women crippled in terms of taking care of themselves. Anyhow, I agree there is a problem but I don’t for one second believe that its one sided. I’ve seen damages to both sides and I’ve also seen the bad apples on both sides.I myself have been hurt by men.However,its like racism. Chalking a handful of bad guys into a box and saying this is how all men are screws both sides out of something potentially meaningful.However, I would also say that the same goes for girls; boys please don’t toss us all in the bad box. I think a key is to just to try and respect people as a whole and respect them for who they are not what they have or look like. To be considerate of each others feelings and understand that while we may deal with those feelings in different ways they are still there. This is one of those hot button issues its so hard to discuss without having it devolve into conflict because it is an emotional issue. Women have been treated like crap and we still run into guys who treat us like crap. Men are getting crap for being too nice or boring or too jerkish. Women are being told we have to look like barbie dolls but that we cant have casual sex or we’re sluts.Conflicting messages its like “hey, be sexy or else; but you can’t have sex or you’re a bad girl.” Guys are taught the more women they can nail the better to a point its everywhere in tv shows and books and movies,yet its also made wrong to settle down. Biologically this makes sense but it gimps both sides ability to enjoy their sexuality. Its hurtful to both sides. We need to stop making negative examples of each other. Theres really no way I can make “mommy and daddy stop fighting” but I can be the best girl I know how to be,evolve,and be the best version of who I want to be that I can. I extend the same respect and understanding I want. I make a point to be consciously aware of the feelings of others as well as my own. ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/4 "2010-08-20T01:48:43Z")
In many ways Men’s Issues is an issue itself that by nature cannot be fixed. For one most men are so indoctrinated into chivalrous schools of thought that even approaching the subject of men as societal victims would be seen as unmanly and rejected out of hand. Then, when I’ve broached issues with women…notably the disparity in spending on research and treatment for breast, cervical and ovarian cancers compared to prostate and testicular cancers in spite of the fact that more men die of their gender specific forms of cancer than women. The issue usually gets twisted to portray me as misogynistic and implying that womens gender specific cancers are trivial or unimportant issues. The thing to bear in mind, as was said women and men are in fact made…and wired differently. A result of this is that men tend to be more logic based and women more emotionally based. Please don’t read into this, I’m not saying that women are incapable of logic, only that their perceptions and judgments tend to be more based on emotional criteria’s. Thus pointing out factual evidence to a woman regarding a disparity in societies treatment of the genders in a way that makes it seem that men are abused, discriminated against, or anything other than the perpetrator of sexism, will in itself be seen as a misogynistic attack against women. In most arguments/debates against women it usually degenerates from being about the core issue and instead degenerates to claims of me denying her her right to feel upset about discrimination against her/gender. ---
**Author:** ![unknown0001](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/unknown0001/32/559_2.png) [@unknown0001](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/unknown0001)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 3:15am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/5 "2010-08-20T03:15:42Z")
This thread stirkes a real dismal chord in my mind. I’m the product of my choices to my mother. I never had a father to teach me anything. My mother divorced my father when I was born and she raised us, all 3 kids on her own. A Strong women? yes she was…but one thing she wasn’t was a man…and she didn’t and still doesn’t understand what I missed out on. I could never talk to my mom about “men’s issues” …I could talk with her, yes and I did…because I had no other male in my life, except my brother, who didn’t WANT to be my father figure, but I sorta forced him to be in a way. As I grew up I moved far far away from my family, …I found this men’s weekend a friend told me about and so I signed up for it…basically in the mountains 1000 men, of all ages getting together to talk, relate and deal. It changed the way I saw my father. Now I wanna thank him in a way for teaching me the hardest lesson a boy can learn…I wanna go up to him and say, “Thank you for never being there for me” Cause that taught me how Important a father is to a little boy". ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/6 "2010-08-20T03:22:09Z")
Very similar situations we grew up in, thanks for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 4:32am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/7 "2010-08-20T04:32:03Z")
> [@happytappin](#): > > This thread stirkes a real dismal chord in my mind. I’m the product of my choices to my mother. I never had a father to teach me anything. My mother divorced my father when I was born and she raised us, all 3 kids on her own. A Strong women? yes she was…but one thing she wasn’t was a man…and she didn’t and still doesn’t understand what I missed out on. I could never talk to my mom about “men’s issues” …I could talk with her, yes and I did…because I had no other male in my life, except my brother, who didn’t WANT to be my father figure, but I sorta forced him to be in a way. > > As I grew up I moved far far away from my family, …I found this men’s weekend a friend told me about and so I signed up for it…basically in the mountains 1000 men, of all ages getting together to talk, relate and deal. It changed the way I saw my father. Now I wanna thank him in a way for teaching me the hardest lesson a boy can learn…I wanna go up to him and say, “Thank you for never being there for me” Cause that taught me how Important a father is to a little boy". In the book Iron John, he discusses the lack of not just male role models, but strong male role models that weren’t shaped by the feminist or free love movement in the 60s and 70s. It has done some damage. He also talks about the open emasculation of men in the media, by your moms and sisters, women at work etc. and it all being okay. Once again, its done and is continue to do its damage. My situation was not like yours and Radmans. I was raised by my father after divorce, in the 70’s it was unheard of that a man got the kids. My mother during this time was able to disobey court orders, took all of our furniture, emptied bank accounts etc. and was never forced to pay child support. The judges words were something to the effect of “I’m not gonna make a woman pay a man child support.” Even tho’ the court deemed he unworthy to take care of us, she was still a woman in need of protection by the big bad men in her life. There were times it served me well to be raised by my father, but as my father grew bitter over time what ended up happening was his feminin became stronger (read David Deida for an indepth discussion on polarity / masculie and feminin). While its okay as a man to be in your feminin occasionally, and ok for a woman to be in her masculine, this can have long lasting behavioral changes, in other words it turns you into what we now lovingly call “the wussy.” Symptoms of the wussy include supplication, over reaction, moodiness, basically you act like a 12 year old girl going through puberty. You are the exact opposite of the Alpha Male, you are a chick with a dick. Sorry if this is coming out sexist, I don’t mean it too…LOL. My dad set the example for my brother and myself on how to be the “sensitive” guy. That’s what I was for many, many years. Never understanding why women only ever saw me as the friend. Now on the other side, what I got was emasculating language from my mom and sister…which is another issue discussed in Iron John, the mother bad mouthing the dad, or hating the son for being like the dad. Which I heard from both mom and sis. My mom was an extremely manipulative woman. Even tried to goad me into shooting her husband by making statements like, “If I were a ‘real man,’ I would get that pistol and blow his head off for treating my mom like that.” Now my stepdad was an asshole, but my mom didn’t really care about me and was wiling to sacrifice me in a situation like this. I then spent 18 years raising my 2 nieces, while taking care of my sister, if I wasn’t full on wussy before, I was now. I am stil working hard on eliminating the behaviors of listening to decades of how bad it was to be a man. I go to therapy, individual and group. I read anything and everything I can get my hands on that is geared towards being a better man, a real man and not the “real man,” that women tell us that they want. I have even included in my daily affirmations the statement: I love being a man, I love my body, I enjoy my masculinity. Because for so long, I was made to feel like to be proud of my sex, was to be proud of being a date raping, wife battering, misogynist. I’ve got some great alpha friends, and I do my best to hang out with them as much as possible, but its still not enough. But my buddy Jim gave me a motorcycle this last year, we go out riding and its this amazing bonding experience. We get together and work on bikes, get dirty, stink up the place, and then go and make love to our women…LOL. My girl LOVES the smell of gas on me, she loves that for the most part that I’m this stand up guy she looks up to as not only a lover but a mentor, she loves that I can be classy, but she also loves that I can get my hands dirty and fix shit when it needs to be fixed. Well she did…LOL Still working on fixing that. Its been a long and fun road, and this journey is nowhere near the end, but I’m much further down the road than I was a few short years ago. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 9:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/8 "2010-08-20T09:56:35Z")
> [@](#): > > I think a key is to just to try and respect people as a whole and respect them for who they are not what they have or look like. > To be considerate of each others feelings and understand that while we may deal with those feelings in different ways they are still there. Great post Electra. This truly is the key. Yes men have issues to deal with and so do women. Unfairness doesn’t occur to only one gender. I am not a fan of feminist activism groups or there thinking and I can say the same for men’s activism groups although I will admit this is probably the first one I have seen. These type of groups separate us as humans. They pit people against people. They pull the focus towards the group more then the issue. The group happytappen spoke of is great though. Boys do need father figures, girls need them to though. The absence of a father or a mother effects both genders. I think men’s circles where men can discuss there feelings and issues without turning it into a war of the sexes are wonderful. Women have had these for years. We gather in some activity and talk. > [@](#): > > In most arguments/debates against women it usually degenerates from being about the core issue and instead degenerates to claims of me denying her her right to feel upset about discrimination against her/gender. Exactly the issue ends up getting lost in the battle and pretty soon no one knows what they hell they are fighting for. For instance if men’s cancers need more research and funding this should be the issue. It being a issue doesn’t indicate that women’s cancers should be ignored only that men’s cancers need to be explored more. However presenting it in the way they did in the video takes focus off that and turns it into a war of the sexes. No one cares much about the actual issue anymore only about the war. People get cancer not just men, not just women. Find the cure to cancer period. By the way its sugar and corn syrup. Seriously look it up. Cancer cant live in a body that doesn’t have a steady intake of sugar. Cancer feeds on sugar, take that away and you take away its food source and it dies. That’s a whole different debate though LOL. > [@](#): > > I have even included in my daily affirmations the statement: I love being a man, I love my body, I enjoy my masculinity. This is wonderful. You cant love anyone else in the world or appreciate our differences until you love and appreciate yourself and your differences. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Jedi\_Nights](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/jedi_nights/32/346_2.png) [@Jedi\_Nights](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Jedi_Nights)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 1:39pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/9 "2010-08-20T13:39:18Z")
Take a good look. The issues of men are death and emotional pain. The issues of women are entitlement and privilege. It’s a great time to be a girl. . ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2010, 12:39pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/10 "2010-08-22T12:39:02Z")
I came back to reread this thread, there are some great lessons to be learned from each other as humans. ---
**Author:** ![Maidenfan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Maidenfan01](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Maidenfan01)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2010, 9:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/11 "2010-08-22T21:44:35Z")
> [@Jedi\_Nights](#): > > Take a good look. > The issues of men are death and emotional pain. > The issues of women are entitlement and privilege. > > It’s a great time to be a girl. > > . This is way to true. ---
**Author:** ![HellzDuDe](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/hellzdude/32/359_2.png) [@HellzDuDe](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/HellzDuDe)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 4:05am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/12 "2010-08-24T04:05:29Z")
I suffer from a rare form of erectile dusfunction… **I CANT KEEP IT DOWN!** ---
**Author:** ![Jedi\_Nights](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/jedi_nights/32/346_2.png) [@Jedi\_Nights](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Jedi_Nights)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 2:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/13 "2010-09-04T14:06:02Z")
> [@thegentleman](#): > > I’m gonna watch this vid, but wanna make a suggestion for any men when they read this to pick up a couple of books: > The Way Of The Superior Man and Iron John. > > Then, if you don’t have any. Go out and get some guy friends, as tough as nails, alpha as you can find. Guys who will call you on your shit, stick your ass through fire to smelt your psyche clean…now time to watch the vid, last one was great. I picked up a copy of IRON JOHN by Robert Bly and it is fantastic! Thanks for the tip Gentleman! ---
**Author:** ![MVKBUGATTI](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@MVKBUGATTI](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MVKBUGATTI)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/14 "2010-09-04T18:14:26Z")
> [@thegentleman](#): > > I’m gonna watch this vid, but wanna make a suggestion for any men when they read this to pick up a couple of books: > The Way Of The Superior Man and Iron John. > > Then, if you don’t have any. Go out and get some guy friends, as tough as nails, alpha as you can find. Guys who will call you on your shit, stick your ass through fire to smelt your psyche clean…now time to watch the vid, last one was great. Mr. Gentleman, I see you have a good taste; as well as having a copy of John C. Maxwell’s “LEADERSHIP GOLD” i’am currently reading: The WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN we know it has some nuggets in it. As the man stated : What is a man’s purpose in life? take care, bro.🙂 MVK Bugatti ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 11:19pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/15 "2010-09-04T23:19:50Z")
> [@Jedi\_Nights](#): > > I picked up a copy of IRON JOHN by Robert Bly and it is fantastic! > Thanks for the tip Gentleman! I love it…glad you’re enjoying too 😃 ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 11:20pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/mens-issues/40939/16 "2010-09-04T23:20:29Z")
> [@MVKBUGATTI](#): > > Mr. Gentleman, > I see you have a good taste; as well as having a copy of John C. Maxwell’s “LEADERSHIP GOLD” i’am currently reading: > The > WAY OF THE > SUPERIOR > MAN > > we know it has some nuggets in it. As the man stated : What is a man’s purpose in life? > > take care, bro.🙂 > > MVK Bugatti This book changed the way I view my relationship with women and myself as a man…really changed my life.