# Moning In Seattle!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Journals\ **Created:** [March 21, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450 "2011-03-21T20:51:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 9:39am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/62 "2011-06-17T09:39:53Z")
Today I got my order of Blue Bottles. šŸ˜ƒ ā˜¹ Mixed feelings when I opened it and FedEx had smashed to smithereens my anxiously awaited IO. Of course I immediately rang Mickaelia. The photos have been sent. I also sent a condolence note to the person who batched it. Hey, we all grieve in our own way. šŸ˜ƒ Tonight I was going to a friends place downtown. Iā€™ve experimented on them before with just plain olā€™ IH. With some nutty results. šŸ˜® Cans of worms with her and her new bf. She used to live at the house I do and Iā€™ve written about her before, Korteney. Who has some very interesting self sabotage patterns. The most notable incident was a couple of weeks ago, and the situation blew up after me and 4 sprays of IH had been in the studio for approx 15 mins. It was quite alarming, as all of his (justified) grievances came out; she was backing away emotionally. šŸ˜® Saying that ā€™ heā€™d been fine with everything, so I donā€™t know whatā€™s up w/him ā€™ obviously not fine. I mediated that incident - felt obliged to, since it was the IH that precipitated it. All went well and things went to another level with some serious communication between them and I referee 'd. Cleared the air, and cleared away a lot of bs. Kept the accusations to "I feel . . " statements. So the plan today was just to Shine them. Sprayed at 7.30pm. **4 x sprays [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) (2x) TOGO!; 1 x spray to each wrist; 1 x spray to each side of my neck.** **Self effects:** I was in a pretty good mood anyway, so I wasnā€™t expecting too much. **Outside temp:** 62F; approx 70% humidity; low cloud cover that keeps the humidity in BUT the moisture in the air chills the breeze enough that I leave the house with long sleeves and a hoodie. After I get on the bus, I notice my mood is now on the down side of neutral - wtf? **So I add a spray to my throat**. Half an hour later, Iā€™m downtown and only feeling neutral. I get a phone call for a place that Iā€™m interested in moving into and have to **force** myself to sound upbeat. I move my thoughts to how wonderful it would be to get out of the animal house I currently live in - and I convince myself enough to sound upbeat. I have a lot of practice doing this. After the phone call, Iā€™m heading off to Korteneyā€™s building and a trivial to minor incident - donā€™t want to go into it; itā€™s superfluous - has me in tears. I just turned around and went home, completely upset and incapable of any interaction. I have suspected in the past that IS doesnā€™t give me the self effects Iā€™ve read for other people. Iā€™m not sure yet, but I think it brings me down. šŸ˜• This definitely needs further testing. IS works for other people that I come in contact with while wearing it. It seems to me, right now that I need to be in a relentlessly up mood to get the same effect that it gives the people around me. Or wear it with IO, my beloved, smashed IO. Has anyone else documented this kind of reaction to IS? I would really like to know. Also, I read that the TOGO! bottles spray at a slightly different volume than the 30ml bottles. Is that true? 83% is rolling around in my head at that question. Will someone please elucidate? Crying takes so much out of me, that now, at 2.30am; Iā€™m still in only a neutral mood. Except for reading ScienceStudents replies to a couple of my posts; sheā€™s made me laugh out loud. Thankyou for that. > [@](#): > > I ordered & received > IS/B 30ml > IS 30ml 1 x strength > P74 5ml 12.5mcg / spray TOGO! > > **Thankyou AD for the gift of IShine** šŸ˜ƒ and for the candy! This was 2x, unbeknownst to me at this time. I found out and adjusted the posts to include proper dosages 07/08/2011 > [@](#): > > **3.20am addendum: OMG! Iā€™m such a ditz sometimes. Iā€™ve done 4 x sprays of IS before with resounding failure. I was just emboldening my previous posts for consistency sake and found this:** > > Shopping: no effect on anyone. The people who are normally glad to see me, were. The rest of the people in the market, no. Even to the point of smiling at people in my way, they just looked at me blankly and then looked away - without moving. šŸ˜® > ??? 4 sprays is obviously too much for me, this was kind of disappointingly curious. šŸ˜• > > So, no more 4 sprays of IS or IS/B for me. REALLY glad I did this now, and not tomorrow when I have a second interview! So, yeah. Have a giggle at my expense - I deserve it for forgetting one of the most disconcerting experiences Iā€™d had with the mones so far. Iā€™m rolling my eyes even as my mood is still not ā€œgoodā€. Let that be a footnote in everyone elseā€™s journals - remember we sweet spot test for a reason!!! ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 11:40am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/63 "2011-06-18T11:40:05Z")
So, again, Iā€™m posting for yesterday. Do any of you know why I post so late? Itā€™s all your faults. I get so distracted by all the interesting adventures you all are having, I just get completely side tracked. šŸ˜‰ Today I was having the second interview follow up to the interview I had on Monday - or so I thought. So considering the debacle of Thursday night. Hereā€™s how it went: **3 x sprays IS (2x); 1 x spray to the back of each hand; 1 x spray to my throat.** **4 x sprays IH; 1 x spray to each wrist; 2 x sprays to the back of my neck.** **1 x spray IS/B to my chest.** **Self effects:** Too busy mentally to notice anything immediately. I catch a ride and she arrives about 5 minutes after I apply. When I get in the car and greet her, then I notice Iā€™m feeling good; relaxed and balanced. I only spray IS/B once because Iā€™m not looking for attraction attention, just the confidence. **Outside temp:** 64F approx 70% humidity and another beautiful warm, sunny day. Luscious. When I get into that tiny reception area, thereā€™s 9 other (female) interviewees in really close quarters. Again, this is not my favorite kind of space. I like my personal space - but it was great for effects. The room was warm and I could smell the mones. Everyone starts smiling, and a couple of words get exchanged just before we all go in to this room full of chairs facing a white board. šŸ˜• Iā€™m not really getting this. We were instructed to bring pen and paper so I sit in the second row, dead in the middle. After sitting for a couple of minutes the woman beside me asks me something and I answer with a smile, she smiles and then the person next to her starts talking and smiling as well as the person behind her. Soon weā€™re all talking and itā€™s friendly. Thereā€™s no antagonistic vibes at all. The boss lady comes in and gives us some instructions: just write the notes down, wait 'til heā€™s done to ask questions otherwise we wonā€™t get through everything. Her business partner comes in and honest to !!šŸ˜®!! he looks 12! I canā€™t even see any trace of facial hair on this guy! I thought for a second that he might be one of those child business prodigies. šŸ˜ƒ Disconcerting, to say the least. We get to the end, and unlike other ā€˜group interviewā€™ situations Iā€™ve been in; this one was a pleasant, as light as it could reasonably be. Everyone, including bosses, settled into easy body language and smiles. At the end of this information session - couldnā€™t really call it an interview - 4 of us, including me get called out of the room to the receptionist. We just look at each other - but nobody is looking bummed yet, thoā€™ shoulders are starting to droop a little. The receptionist hands us all background check forms, smiles and says: ā€œTrust me, you donā€™t want to be in that room. You want to be right here.ā€ The four of us start training on Monday. Yay for me. Just hoping this isnā€™t another pretend job. I catch a ride with a very tall, very beautiful Sudanese girl from the group and the 3 of us are understandably excited. When I get downtown, itā€™s late afternoon and Iā€™m both hungry and thirsty. I go to one of my favorite bakeries and canā€™t find anything that isnā€™t sweet. The guy behind the counter (window in a wall so Iā€™m close) asks me what I want and I want something savory. He then goes to what looks like a staff hiding spot - you canā€™t see it as a customer and brings out a ham and gorgonzola croissant. Just my cup of tea. šŸ˜ƒ Now something to drink, Iā€™m thirsty and coffee isnā€™t what I want. So Iā€™m wandering around the outside of the PP market, lots of tourists (thankyou! Seattle suffers from such sucky weather lots of tourists cut short their stay after days of rain) moving in clumps around the place. 2 fruit vendor guys flirt with me, but thatā€™s what they do - enticing you to buy their overpriced produce - so I donā€™t count them as hits. I decide to check out the Latino Mercado and find exactly what I said I wanted a couple of hours ago! Peach juice in a can! Iā€™m excited about that. I get the can and wait for some other people to finish in front of me and the middle aged (approx 60) Latino man, looks at me fleetingly, reaches for my money, pauses then his head snaps up and he gives me a big beautiful grin that reaches all the way to his eyes. When I get home, the roommate Stephy and her dog are outside talking to one of the neighbors and her dog. I sit on the retaining wall to chat - I havenā€™t seen Erin in a couple of months and both dogs go absolutely silly for my attention. After much laughing at the dogs antics, Raja takes the bolt and Stephy has to go chase and I go inside. All in all a successful day - such an improvement on last night šŸ˜®. Just some really nice shine to my day. Itā€™s 4.30am as I finish this and Iā€™m still feeling really good. Equilibrium restored. šŸ™‚ Today, Iā€™m gonna try the [P74](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/p74/). ---
**Author:** ![Onedzguy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/onedzguy/32/1382_2.png) [@Onedzguy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Onedzguy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 12:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/64 "2011-06-18T12:03:01Z")
Thats great! You got the job and you ended the day on a happy note. Good luck with [P74](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/p74/) ODG ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 11:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/65 "2011-06-18T23:21:56Z")
> [@Onedzguy](#): > > Thats great! You got the job and you ended the day on a happy note. Good luck with P74 > > ODG šŸ˜ƒ Thanx! Iā€™m stoked on both counts. šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 10:21am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/66 "2011-06-19T10:21:58Z")
Ok, itā€™s 2.25am; _ **again** _, posting the day before at a ridiculous hour because all of you are way to fascinating. šŸ˜› I had plans for Saturday to try out [P74](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/p74/). But we had a beautiful day on Friday, and so it always seems, we get punished the next. Today was wet and miserable and I wasnā€™t going anywhere while it was like that. But I did have to go to the store for a bit n thatā€™s drama, cos I donā€™t have a car right now. So, I didnā€™t leave the house until 10pm and a simple milk errand is two hours long. **First time wearing P74.** **I donā€™t know what this does / is supposed to do and deliberately didnā€™t ā€˜searchā€™ it. 9.30pm application. Brand new TOGO! bottle:** **1 1/2 x spray P74 to my throat. It took approx half a spray to get the pump action going.** **Self effect:** Not sure. I like the scent very much, it actually distracted me for a minute. Approx 5 minutes later, I catch sight of my reflection and I have a ā€˜cat that ate the canaryā€™ smile on my face. Thatā€™s the only way I can describe it. **Outside temp:** 54F, not raining, humidity is less than 60%; I leave the house in long sleeved T shirt and hoodie. The hoodie is hip length with elastic in the bottom. Explanation later. A cold front is moving in. Iā€™m on a mission and had, at application, decided that I was going to just see if the self effects became more pronounced out in public. I went to the Joeā€™s Mart downtown; and one of the guys (only guys work this store - itā€™s too dangerous for fems) who works there is taking a minute outside and sitting on a sign. He knows who I am, but these guys donā€™t get friendly. This store is beside ā€˜crack alleyā€™ and transients and itinerants habituate the place. He sees me walking in and I apologise for taking him off his break. He Eurasian (is that word PIC? apologies if it is and Iā€™ll edit it out, if so) tall and burly. As he passes me into the store, he turns and smiles and says itā€™s ok. Iā€™ve been coming here for months and never been acknowledged as an individual and this night he does. Heā€™s cute too. šŸ˜ƒ Iā€™m not going to call that a hit, he could have also just been happy that his shift was nearly over. I leave, thereā€™s people milling around in front of the store and the bar beside it. As Iā€™m walking down the street, I can feel someone behind me, then I hear them and turn around to make eye contact. This is not a good street to ignore your instincts on. An African / American guy looks at me, says: ā€œHi and how are you?ā€ reminded me of Radmanā€™s post. I say ā€œHi, Iā€™m good thank you. I heard you behind me and just was checkinā€™.ā€ He says ā€œGood move, specially someone who looks like you. I love your beautiful hair (Iā€™m thinking, it canā€™t be a hit; heā€™s not close enough) and Iā€™ve followed that ass down the street. Thatā€™s a _nice_ ass.ā€ ā€œOH! Thankyou, very much.ā€ The hoodie which has elastic in the bottom had ridden up in the back, so he got a blocks worth of my ass. Thereā€™s another guy on the corner, apparently waiting for this guy. As I get around the corner I hear him say to my . . . admirer? Can I say that without appearing up myself? " I saw you follow that booty, from the mart, brah" to which came the reply ā€œDid you see that ass?ā€ šŸ˜› I didnā€™t hear anymore, walking on. So, he was in the crowd milling around the storefront, I think. Go back to the bus stop and a guy is trying to work out how heā€™s getting home with the dearth of buses running. And a baseball game had let out 45mins previously, so more kids than usual downtown at 10.45pm which added to his distraction. He asks me something about the schedules and then starts talking to me. Usually Iā€™m reticent about speaking with strangers because they always get sidetracked by my accent. I know people are just curious but just imagine every time you leave the house and have to speak to a stranger, you get asked ā€œoh whereā€™s your accent fromā€. It gets wearing. When Iā€™m really tired of it, I use an American accent. We have a conversation that canā€™t all be attributed to my accent; and the whole time he maintains really good eye contact and has a continual smile that goes to his eyes. Great smile too. His wife is not interested in our conversation and wanders around the general area. Sheā€™s not giving off any cranky vibes, either. Sheā€™s pleasant, but she wants to get home and so is distracted in that way. On the vehicular transportation home, the bus is full - almost to standing room; but I have seat all to myself. Not reading anything into that either, because I have perfected the ā€˜you donā€™t wanna sit hereā€™ vibe. But the two guys behind me lean over the back of the seat. That is all I got for this episode. Me and my butt were well pleased with the compliment. Itā€™s 3.20am and Iā€™m still catching the occasional whiff. I like it. ---
**Author:** ![pinkconfetti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@pinkconfetti](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/pinkconfetti)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 4:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/67 "2011-06-20T04:19:38Z")
Congrats!!! ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:53am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/68 "2011-06-20T05:53:50Z")
Same day post! Going to visit Korteney and head out at 4.20pm - go ahead, giggle, I did. Spray at 4.15pm. **Second use of [P74](https://a314.com/product/p74/).** **2 x sprays P74 to the base of my throat.** **Self effects:** Not sure, Iā€™m cutting close but not concerned either. I walk at my usual pace confident Iā€™m on time. Nice feeling doesnā€™t usually happen this close to scheduled arrival time. **Outside temp:** 54F, completely overcast, less than 50% humidity; with a light and cool breeze, long sleeves and hoodie on. The breeze is colder than yesterday. But the mones are exposed to the air. Korteney is in a state and needs some girl time and is texting me, then calls while Iā€™m in transit. Iā€™m not really paying attention to other riders except for the little Latina girl on the bench beside me. Her mother is adjacent and ear plugged. So are 4 others and deliberately zoned out. This little girl, thoā€™ is just staring at me. When I hang up, I tell her I like her earrings and she talks to me. Nothing out of the ordinary. People have always confided in me and talked to me; donā€™t know why. Babies, kids and animals like me, too. They donā€™t usually stare so hard, thoā€™. As I enter Korteneyā€™s building, one of the guys she knows is coming up behind me; with the intention of dropping in on her. We go upstairs and Korteney is desperate to get rid of M as she really needs to talk. But he hangs around. Iā€™m getting looks and lots of eye contact and smiles from him. Iā€™m talking with Korteney about all sorts of relationship things. Boys are dumb is where Korteney is at right now; and her bf has issues that are serious enough that she needs to make a decision about where **she** wants to go. She needs light happy and fun right now, and he needs some serious counselling and support for his issues and still M wonā€™t leave. When he finally does, the chat gets even more specifically detailed and after about another 45 mins I leave to go home. The whole time, M was just keeping eye contact with me and smiling and not worrying about the relationship analysis that was going on and leaving him out of the conversation. He seemed content to stay there, until Korteneyā€™s demeanor got scratchy and he finally took the hint. I still got a whiff of the P74 as I got home @ 9.25pm and if I put my head down can catch the faintest smell of ā€œperfumeā€ currently 10.53pm. ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 8:24am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/69 "2011-06-21T08:24:49Z")
Today was the first day of a group training week. The plan was to apply the mones to keep me sane and not have to compete / ā€œproveā€ my standing repeatedly. Since I have TOGO! empties, I decided to decant from blue bottles into those, so I can carry them with me. Did I read somewhere that the nozzle measurement is different from blue to TOGO! bottles? I tried to find it again, but I spend so much time on here and read so many posts, I donā€™t have a clue; just a nagging tidbit of a memory. So this is how it went, application 10.15am. **3 x IS (2x); 1 x spray to the back of each hand; 1 base of throat.** **4x IH; 1 x spray to each wrist; 2 x sprays to the nape of my neck.** **2 x IS/B; 2 x sprays to my chest**. **Self effect: 2** focused externally to notice, a bit of worried distraction; I get a ride from the Transit Center. This is an indoor situation, so the outside conditions donā€™t matter. Controlled environment with light heat being run. When I arrive others are seated (12 - 16 people including me) and everyoneā€™s nervous fidgety and silent except for the group ā€˜loud chickā€™ whoā€™s butch in stereotypical butch way; demeanor, appearance, dress, presentation etc. After about 15 mins the smiles start beside me and slowly work outwards and everyone slowly start to smile an relax. Chat starts. The boss lady comes in to outline the training process. Everyone is responsive to her and her cheering, and clued in. Sheā€™s surprised an happy about that. Iā€™m calm, responsive and confident. Normally all the yelling and cheering would shred my nerves after half an hour. Iā€™m participating, when this kind of thing would normally have me looking for a way out. The training introduction only lasts 2 hours. Iā€™m kind of tired from the stress of the high volume vocals; but not twitching to get home. Iā€™m doing good. Downtown Kort has a crisis. The bf is in a state. She rushes from work to an appointment and I meet her there. Lots of drama and of course, itā€™s the him whoā€™s being dramatic. Very much storming off with the silent treat following. Funny how the silent treatment doesnā€™t include texting. He gets there, and thereā€™s lots of loud words and he yells directly at me. No bueno. Iā€™m at my tolerance limit. Appointment done, then lots of unco-ordinated running around. Things smoother and smoothed over somewhat. She decides to shop; go to a clothing store and blah blah and she has an extreme reaction to my complaint that she doesnā€™t wear color and (sheā€™s quite a head turner). She raises her voice; I look at her and say ā€˜weā€™re done here.ā€™ and leave. Itā€™s 4.50pm itā€™s been a long day for someone whoā€™s been unemployed for such a long time. This slammed my maximum tolerance limit and I didnā€™t want to reapply mones for this shit. I can go home and get some peace with no-one yelling at or around me. Iā€™m feeling fragile. I have a sugar crash in the bus with a couple of tears. High emotions and nothing to eat since morning. I get home and fall asleep for 4 hours. I wake up from my ā€˜napā€™ and hit the pherotalk and of course, stay too long when I have to get up EARLY to travel. Disconcerting day, but I held good and confident until the end. I am pleased with my survival today. Normally, one of these (without the downtown drama) would have me running home with no stops on the edge of a panic. Bueno. ---
**Author:** ![OutreDame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed8c4c/32.png) [@OutreDame](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/OutreDame)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 11:41pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/70 "2011-06-21T23:41:26Z")
I just read your whole journal just now! Its so interesting seeing your results out and about town and with experimenting. It makes me want to go out more too! Maybe that will be a good side effect šŸ™‚ Looking forward to more updates! You have me really interested in trying out my IO now too, I was kinda nervous about it but really worth a shot. ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/71 "2011-06-21T23:46:52Z")
> [@OutreDame](#): > > I just read your whole journal just now! Its so interesting seeing your results out and about town and with experimenting. It makes me want to go out more too! Maybe that will be a good side effect šŸ™‚ Looking forward to more updates! You have me really interested in trying out my IO now too, I was kinda nervous about it but really worth a shot. I love IO the best. That benefit makes my world. Today I was in a situation today, that previously would have had me throwing up in public. ---
**Author:** ![OutreDame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed8c4c/32.png) [@OutreDame](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/OutreDame)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/72 "2011-06-22T00:47:13Z")
You knowā€¦Im kind of flip floppy, in that Im really outgoing and can talk to anyone anywhere, but then when Ive had _enough_ Ill go into hermit mode and dont want anything to do with anyone, to the point that I really will go for months at a time feeling anxious about even having to talk to or deal with people. What you just said about it saving you from feeling like throwing up really hit homeā€¦I felt like I wouldnt need this so much cause Im so outgoing, but Im not alwaysā€¦this might be my lifesaver! When the moment hits me again to dive under my rock, Im going to make sure and see what this does for me, cause it seems to be working miracles for you!!! ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/73 "2011-06-22T01:12:08Z")
Today was a training situation. 12 - 16 people in the room, all facing front. It was an early start today, 9am, (EARLY! šŸ˜® I hear yā€™all yelping in disbelief) it took 2 hours travel just to get there. So, yeah, an EARLY start. Yesterdayā€™s application worked well for me under extreme circumstances, so weā€™ll go with what worked so far. Since itā€™s training, the idea is to challenge the individual to ā€˜strengthenā€™; again, not interested in having to renegotiate my standing in any way. **3 x IS (2x); 1 x spray to the back of each hand; 1 base of throat.** **4x [IH](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) ; 1 x spray to each wrist; 2 x sprays to the top of my head.** **2 x IS/B; 1 x spray to each side if my neck**. **Self effects:** After a minute or so I start smiling and deliberately take a good inhale of both the IH and IS; just because I can. I feel good. Still hoping this isnā€™t a pretend job; but I have a positive spin on it. Another day indoors, so the day is beautiful, but irrelevant to this. Everyone in the room is complaining about how warm it is in there. šŸ˜ƒ Washingtonians make me scream with laughter about what they consider ā€˜hotā€™. Try 69F and theyā€™re all fanning themselves and ā€˜needing to cool downā€™. These are all people that have told me they love my accent and would love to go to Oz. šŸ˜ƒšŸ˜ƒ Today I told them my hometown in winter is still a few degrees Celsius warmer than here in the summer . . . . they look at me in horror. Good times. šŸ˜ƒ Anyhow, the day starts and weā€™re being given a breakdown of how weā€™re going to train people later on. Itā€™s all very loud and enthusiastic and Iā€™m doing good. We then break up into groups and go over what weā€™re expected to do in front of the group. Iā€™m just getting everything straight and not even thinking about the in front of everybody, bit. Strange, someone would think I was confident or something. šŸ˜® I donā€™t do public speaking. I presented my research in college to my lecturer basically in private because I nearly threw up trying to do it in front of the class, and I knew all of them. Now I have to say: ā€œin the past Iā€™ve not done any public speakingā€. Today I stood up in front of 18 people (including trainers) and did what I had to do, and was congratulated. When I said it was a huge milestone; someone said I looked like Iā€™d been doing it for years. I felt smug. I felt good; I **felt** confident, for real. Not a confidence boost, but really confident. Thatā€™s an awesome feeling, that I havenā€™t been able to translate - in the past. šŸ˜ƒ Of course, Iā€™m confident in my abilities. But, those are things that Iā€™ve perceived as separate from _me_. Make you a piece of jewelry? No problem, what do you want? Explain how to make a piece of jewelry to a roomful and all of a sudden itā€™s too much. Faces looking at you, waiting for you to make something clear and I would just prefer to face down a snake. Truly. Until today. I love IS/B for that. No shaking, no blood pressure rise, no panicking. The 2 sprays of IS/B gives me confidence to deal with the attention. The effects that it seems to have on other people is still the same as Iā€™ve previously logged. A fan club effect. Both males and females respond with a ā€˜oh, youā€™re so goodā€™ enthusiasm. And I like it. A lot. A solidly good day. I came straight home and hit pherotalk, caught up on the threads Iā€™m subscribed to and journaled. A same day post no less and cleaned up and made readable yesterdays notes. An Instant Shiny day šŸ˜› and I will say it again. These subtle effects are worth gold to me. Technically Iā€™m a malfunctioning, outgoing person. I just love being able to remember what it feels like to be ok with the world at large and my place in it. ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 1:23am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/74 "2011-06-22T01:23:18Z")
> [@OutreDame](#): > > You knowā€¦ **Im kind of flip floppy, in that Im really outgoing and can talk to anyone anywhere, but then when Ive had _enough_ Ill go into hermit mode and dont want anything to do with anyone, to the point that I really will go for months at a time feeling anxious about even having to talk to or deal with people.** What you just said about it saving you from feeling like throwing up really hit homeā€¦I felt like I wouldnt need this so much cause Im so outgoing, but Im not alwaysā€¦this might be my lifesaver! When the moment hits me again to dive under my rock, Im going to make sure and see what this does for me, cause it seems to be **working miracles for you!!!** Hey, you just described me. Now I can say me in a previous life. The months thing? Been there and nearly wound up being a shut in - in my hometown. IO heading off a panic attack?! AWESOME! And for me, definitely a miracle. The confidence I get from IS/B below my sweet spot, is also invaluable. It seems to be working itā€™s way IN; as in Iā€™m becoming confident and not just faking!!! Let me know when you post, Iā€™m seriously interested in whether or not IO has the same / similar effect for you. Those of us that have a history of being fragile need to stick together. :o ---
**Author:** ![OutreDame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed8c4c/32.png) [@OutreDame](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/OutreDame)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 3:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/75 "2011-06-22T03:48:58Z")
That really sounds awesome, how you handled having to talk in front of all those people, total strangers! I actually did do public speaking as a kid, in oratorical competitions and such, and I can tell you, I _still_ get choked up when I have to speak in front of people I dont know. Heck, even people I do know! lol Ill let you know when I try the IO, itll for sure go in my journal. I just got off a haitus about 2 weeks agoā€¦I didnt talk to anyone since the new year _sigh_ But really, so much has been going on, and when the going gets tough, I disappear. But when I hit a mode like that, Ill make sure and whip out the IO to see what kind of difference it makesā€¦maybe when I feel a hermit mode coming on, before go totally undergroundā€¦ Youre right though, we gotta stick together! (When were not trying to avoid everyone and each other that is hahahahaha! aye!) šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 4:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/76 "2011-06-22T04:01:50Z")
> [@outredame](#): > > **youre right though, we gotta stick together! (when were not trying to avoid everyone and each other that is hahahahaha! Aye!)** šŸ˜ƒ **exactly !!!** šŸ˜ƒšŸ˜ƒšŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 5:30am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/77 "2011-06-24T05:30:58Z")
Same day post! Itā€™ll become a habit if Iā€™m not careful. So yesterday and today the same thing: Application at 8:15am both days. **2 x sprays IS/B; 1 x spray to each side of my neck.** **3 x sprays IS(2x); 1 x spray to the back of each hand; 1 x spray to my throat.** **4 x sprays IH; 1 x spray to my wrists; 2 x sprays to the top of my head.** **Self effect:** Iā€™m feeling solid. I donā€™t know how else to describe it. Like Iā€™m solid in the mental/emotional sense. I donā€™t feel that I could be put off balance at all, right now. This is a good feeling. Is this what it feels like to be confident? I forget. Iā€™ve forgotten how good I can feel for no reason. Interesting. In the good way. Both days, very similar. Being able to walk into these training situations with a smile, with a knot free stomach and without the flight response creeping up the back of my thoughts is GOLD! I participate. Fully. Iā€™m in the room for the last 2 days. And I mean in the room. Not thinking about how to get out for a sanity break; calm - not restless; not distracted by the loudness of this enthusiasm. The other people are connecting with me on a getting to know you basis; usually Iā€™m suspicious of people wanting details about me. Why? Why do you want to know **that**? Iā€™m as open as they are; and so the focus is never on me for too long. Good eye contact from all the males, as well as bunches of jokes for me. When I leave for the day, I leave smiling a genuine smile. Not one forced for formsā€™ sake. The last two days I also donā€™t feel exhausted and have an evening with all of you here. Overall Iā€™m impressed with how easy my days have been. Only one slight hiccup in the course of events which a 5 min hiatus with splashing water on my face fixed. Never before has there been such a recovery, usually if I need to leave a room like that it takes hours for me to rebound. As I said on another thread: just making my day easier to get through is enough. Well, weā€™re going one better now. Making my day easy to get through is just the most magnificent gift. Oh, PS My replacement IO arrived today! YAY!!! FedEx smashed the IO I ordered last week. I sprayed **1 x spray IO to each side of my neck,** just because I could and have been happy smiling since - alone in my room, here with you. LOVE LOVE LOVE the MONES! ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2011, 6:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/78 "2011-06-25T06:37:40Z")
If I get this done in the next 40 mins, itā€™ll be another same day post. Today I got to take out the IO. It went like this: Application time 8.15am **4 x sprays IO; 2 x sprays to the top of my head; 1 x spray to the each** **back of each hand.** **3 x sprays IS(2x); 1 x spray to each wrist; 1 x spray to my throat.** **2 x sprays IH; 2 x sprays to the back of my neck.** **2 x sprays IS/B; 1 x spray to each side of my neck.** **Self effect:** I love 4 x IO. I stick the back of my hand under my nose and start to smile. I missed this. I feel good. Happy. Itā€™s a short day. But fun, as far as those things go. Iā€™m happy and smiling and actually enjoy myself. Iā€™ve spent last night mentally preparing myself to get up in front of people and itā€™s all good. The IO makes that passing chore not so much a chore! šŸ˜® No after shaking either. I love IO. After this I go downtown to run an errand and so forth. Catch up with Korteney and by now itā€™s just after 4.30pm. She leaves to put laundry on, and I apply another: **4 x sprays IO; 2 x sprays to the top of my head; 2 x sprays to each side of my neck.** Just because Iā€™ve precipitated an uncomfortable situation with the IH. I decided to put on some IO as an unconscious treat for Korteney. When she comes back, weā€™re all giggly and chatting away and itā€™s fun. The Stormcloud comes in (the bf in a mood) I ask her to pass my cigarettes from the kitchen and then tell her Iā€™m leaving. I donā€™t want to deal with this garbage and itā€™s a tiny studio. Nowhere to go to get away from that vibe. I love IO. And since this is mistake free; itā€™s a same day post. ---
**Author:** ![OutreDame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed8c4c/32.png) [@OutreDame](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/OutreDame)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2011, 6:38pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/79 "2011-06-25T18:38:08Z")
I need to try IO on its own to see how it affects me tooā€¦seems to really do some great things for your mood and also any anxiety with being in front of people. Im so afraid it will make me turn chatterbox lol!!! Does it have that effect on you? or just relax you and make you more open to talking to people? ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 10:51am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/80 "2011-06-26T10:51:42Z")
> [@OutreDame](#): > > I need to try IO on its own to see how it affects me tooā€¦seems to really do some great things for your mood and also any anxiety with being in front of people. Im so afraid it will make me turn chatterbox lol!!! Does it have that effect on you? or just relax you and make you more open to talking to people? My nicknames for a time were Motormouth, Fluoro-tubes the Storyteller and the Lounge Room Comedian. All tributes to the fact I DONā€™T have trouble with talking. Just in front of people, on a stage or in front of cameras. With people I donā€™t know and these types of situations - due to personal dramas and continual abuse, I developed a situational social anxiety and panic attacks. Itā€™s a relaxant - **for me** -, a beautiful social relaxant. People talk to me anyway. Iā€™ve had ā€œolder peopleā€ confiding in me since I was six years old! The first time it happened, I remember thinking (and later blurting) ā€œIā€™m only 6!ā€. The burden of the confidences started getting to me at one point; and I left my hometown. People donā€™t realise the burden the put on the confidant, when that person is not a professional. Then, it got to the point that I wouldnā€™t see my ā€œfriendsā€ unless they had problems. Then I left. I cut those people out of my life as being serious energy drains on me. IO helps me to mentally relax - and I feel it happen. It also encourages **light and easy** communication. People still want to spill their guts to me; Iā€™m just less receptive, deliberately, these days. I pick and choose those with whom I will share burdens with. ---
**Author:** ![OutreDame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed8c4c/32.png) [@OutreDame](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/OutreDame)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450/81 "2011-06-26T20:49:16Z")
Wowā€¦you know what, Im really open to giving IO an honest shot now because I can relate to a lot of what youre saying hereā€¦ Im a talker (but mostly random useless stuff lol) but for some reason people love telling me their problems. Im not even the sort that is an empathetic listener, but just saying ā€œhi how are ya!ā€ to a relative stranger, Ill know everything from their health problems, to marital problems and then some by the time we part ways. Light and easy communication would be _very_ nice! All the heavy convos I tend to have can really bring a girl down after awhileā€¦Thanks for the extra infoā€¦helps _a lot!_ Going to a dinner party tonight, will do IO on its own and see how things go šŸ˜‰ [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450.md?page=3) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/moning-in-seattle/49450.md?page=5)