A very hearty congratulations, Astrea! You’ve been trying so hard to get back into an employment status and here you are… 
Now, you have to work out your daily mone work outfit as well… 
You can take on ANYTHING, even mouse arrows, now, with a smile… 
Thanx, Alpha! Nice to know someone’s reading 
I’m hoping that they pay me enough for this to be a great and not just good thing. We shall see . . . Saturday is training day.
great journal! Can’t wait to read more
Another report done in the same 24 hour period! Don’t get used to it tho’.
Today was training day. The guy who is to be my boss, basically had me foisted on him by his business partner. He got enthusiastic by the time we’d finished on Thursday and I wanted to continue the positive vibe. So:
2 x IS/B; 1 x spray outer end both collarbones.
**2 x IH; 2 x sprays to the top of my head
3 x IO; 1 x spray each wrist; 1 x spray on throat.**
3 x IS; 1 x spray back of neck; 1 x spray to back of each hand.
Self effects: none that I could tell, but I was so tired; it was all I could do to stay awake and read the modifications to the Medical Cannabis laws. At least Washington state is planning to stop arresting MMJ patients.
I arrive and no-one’s really ready for me. The gf of D1 is there and doing a general cleanup - for Ochris: Looks only - she’s about an 8 and he’s about a 4. Not kidding.
D2 is my boss. When we finally get down to training; he’s got these big green eyes with ultra long lashes and looks slightly startled. Good eye contact throughout the day - but his previous job was a Real Estate Agent, so he knows about good eye contact. Doesn’t account for the wide eyed looks though.
Since he’s training me, we’re sharing the same desk and there’s a lot of incidental contact. Hands, knees and thighs. I end up moving slightly because he’s my boss, and the lines need to be clear.
This mix was good in the effect on him. It was a good day with a few laughs, I felt that he was impressed both with me and the mone vibes. I wasn’t second guessing myself - that’s the point of the IS/B.
Previously when I wore just 2 sprays I got lots of ‘fan club’ type vibes from the guys (young and old); which doesn’t hurt; and the confidence boost I get from the IS/B leaves me free to deal with what’s in front of me and not second guess myself.
However, I want to wear this again when I’m not so damn tired, so I can enjoy the self effects.
I completely spaced! During a break on the verandah having a cigarette with D2, I saw his neighbour trimming stalks of rhubarb at the yard waste bin. I made the comment that was smart. He then proceeds to tell me that they haven’t spoken since he moved in (yes, I’m telling you like he told me) and brought over a plate of cookies. They (apparently) asked where was the missus? no? gf? no?
I’m single - he says.
Completely unattached - he reiterated.
Oh, yeah - I said, completely missing the point - people can be so judgemental.
He went on to explain how D1 has a gf, but he (D2) doesn’t.
I’ve not had a boy go to such lengths to declare his relationship status in such a discrete way. Would have done the most prissy, OCD, miss nosy proud.
Day 1 of my new job. Today I met my other 2 co-workers DG and B. I wore:
2 x sprays IS/B; 1 x spray to outer end each collarbone.
3 x sprays IS; 1 x spray to cleavage; 1 x spray to back of each hand.
2 x sprays IH; 2 x sprays to back of neck.
I’ve only got a little IO left, so I’m saving it for a special occasion.
Self effects: None that I could tell. I’m an insomniac and I only had 4 hours sleep.
Outside temp: it’s raining, again. Approx 49F cold, wet, windy and miserable. We’re being punished for the beautiful day we had yesterday. I left my umbrella at work on Saturday and have to walk and stand in the rain here and downtown for my connection to work.
At work tho’, D1’s gf is very welcoming, big eyes and smiles. I get introduced to my co-workers, shake hands, smile and make sure we get each others names right.
I spend the day working with DG and we get along fine. She tells me a little of her personal life and we’re getting along well.
It was work. My first day, by the end of it, I’m comfortable that I have established at the minimum, light, easy, friendly work environment. I get along with both of them and made sure to spend enough time in both of their personal space zones for the IS and IH to ease that in.
All in all, an extremely satisfying day. 
Hey Astrea,
Are you going to get the big bottle of IO on your next order? You wax lyrical on IO…
Maybe get a few more points and just pay for shipping…
Good day at work… you’re establishing your position and comfort levels with your co-workers with the first day on with mones… they’ll likely talk about you to each other and the big boss and will share their ‘good’ impressions of you. NICE!
Yes, Alpha! I intend to get the big bottle of IO (over which I wax lyrical ) AND I’ve decided it’s gonna be x 2!!! 
No, not in the same day; it’s 2:30 AM and this is for yesterday. Ok, so today I wore:
2 x sprays IS/B; 1 x spray to each outer end of collarbones.
3 x sprays IS; 1 x spray to back of each hand; 1 x spray to cleavage.
3 x sprays IH; 3 x sprays to the back of my neck.
Self effects: None at the time, only 3 hours sleep this morning; so after doing some rewriting on the employee handbook, I use bus time to sleep.
Outside temp: 45F it’s still cold. Still piling on clothes, still shivering while walking.
By the time I’m done with transit and walking, I find myself in a positive mood and smiling - just because. I get to work and am welcomed like we’re all old friends. The rapport with D1 and D2 is just getting better.
Normally I tend to stress over not learning a new job on the first day. Which generally makes my first week anywhere pretty traumatic. But I’m relaxed, confident and in a focused mood. The only thing I did new today is 3 x IH. This seems to keep me on track and in a pleasant mood and laughing easily. Novel. Another new experience on mones.
I had a really good day. I find out a couple of personal things about DG. All in all it’s pleasant and the environment could only be improved by me not having to bus it everyday.
The IH thing x 3 seems to be another secret weapon for keeping me calm and sociable. OMFG! Why didn’t I find mones sooner??? A whole lot of lost time and distress and hiding in my apartment (the last bit in Oz - I kinda started on the shut in thing, but emigrated before it got to be a pattern).
IH leaves me level, tho’. I’m not chirpy as I get on IO. But the level thing is better for working situations. Feeling good and that’s a serious improvement over the stress and worry of the last 9 months.
Yesterday and last night was the Thaw Spring Fashion Show; pretty sure I’ve mentioned it. After getting there and helping to set up; when I arrived they were hideously behind; and waiting for the thing to start before putting the mones on. Reason being, once this thing starts, it’s gonna be a long and fun night.
3 x sprays IS/B; 1 x spray to each side of neck; 1 x spray to cleavage.
3 x sprays IS; 1 x spray to the back of each hand; 1 x spray to the top of my head.
3 x sprays IH; 1 x spray split between both wrists; 1 x spray to the back of my neck; and 1 x spray to the top of my head.
Self effects: This immediately alleviated my stress and cranky over being given a bunch of untenable requests as per “our jobs”; plus outright contradicting each other. It all just floated away. SO NICE! I’m really liking the IH x 3. It’s not as bubbly as the IO, but I also appreciate a more low key approach sometimes.
I have a number of significant conversations with - only females! - and only worked that out at this time of writing.
Guys are stooopid goofy! And I’m not putting that together with the mones. I’m just WTF? are you ‘special’? And they thought they were slick 
.
Then there was a tall, well built, pretty and masculine individual; let’s call him - A. And he’s got the most . . . I don’t know how else to say it, lovely vibe. But there’s enough good natured mischief in his ‘aura’ that you can’t help grinning with delight right back. He remembered me from last year, and hugged and thanked me for saying something, for acknowledging him.
That’s of significance from opposite gender, to go on would be conceited; so I’ll desist.
I made another friend today and that can only be a good thing. The chat was interesting enough while we were ‘working’ that we chose to take a break together to talk. It’s all good.
Boys making eyes at me; and the girls not hating. What more can you ask for in this situation?
It’s cool and I’m happy. Feeling good about myself and amusedly tolerant or tolerantly amused by the performances of the boys. I’m enjoying the novelty.
Today I went to hang out with the fem I met at Thaw on Thursday. Just to feel good, and because Sunday is now my only day off, I decided to mone the day away.
**4+ x IH; 2 x sprays to the top of my head; 2+ x sprays on the back of my neck and hair. (I had difficulty getting all my hair out the way, so I ended up with nearly 5 sprays )
3 x IS/B; 1 x spray to each side of my neck; 1 x spray to cleavage.
3 x IS; 1 x spray to the back of each hand; 1 x spray to the throat.
Self effects: I feel good after about 10 mins. Cheerful, the disappointment of accidentally using so much IH dissipating along with the initial scent - which I still like, btw.
Outside temp: 60F!!! a warm day! I break a sweat walking uphill - but I’m also wearing long sleeves and a jacket .
I meet her downtown after getting 2 simultaneous hits from the barista boys, who after being in my presence (do you love the egocentricity?! ) for a couple of minutes; jump to produce what I want exactly the way I want it, confer with me by the minute on exact instructions - even to the color of the toasting of the bagel. When I confirm the coffee is just right and the bagel perfect, then the anxious brow wrinkling disappears and sunny smiles come out with a little bobbing motion (??) that could be interpreted as a (!?!) jig*??! My eyebrows shoot to my hairline, my eyes kinda popped, maybe ? And I had to turn away to stop from laughing out loud at *them. It was all too funny.
Anyway, C and I spend a bunch of hours just yakking our heads off. It was fun, I haven’t had a face to face conversation like that in ages, I can’t remember when. This is not my norm with new people. I usually like to keep a certain level of detachment until I get to know a person. But I’m having fun.
We’re mostly outside and in an hour the temp dropped 10F. But when we’re inside, everyone does me favors - like letting me order first, because I look cold! I like it. It’s such a pleasant sensation when someone does something nice / considerate for you.
I even tolerated a blonde blue eyed boy flirting with me, as awkward as that was . But after a moment of consideration, he was dismissed for being blonde.
Anyway, I’m enjoying the mones and the exotic. So we go to Native Park. The view is spectacular; and it doesn’t matter what the weather is. Sunset over a still bay with boats and ferries and land on the horizon. . . . Hey, I LIVE HERE !!! Everyone in the park just looked up at the same time to gold edged clouds on a perfect sky blue background. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen and completely different every day.
And today, I was relaxed enough to enjoy it. This was a good day.
I wanted to put a sunset pic on my sig line, but it makes the ‘page’ horribly big. I couldn’t get it to co-operate and move down a little so there’s not so much blank space under my stuff list.
Anyway, I haven’t posted for a minute because the TOGO! bottles are only so big and I like to play.
However, I have one blue bottle and since I’m not working; was going food shopping again with my friend (family) K. Since she responds so well to the mones; I decided to see what IH by itself would do.
So, this is how it went. Low cloud cover provided humidity after a couple of warm days; and completely obscured Mt Rainier. Just fyi, the indigenous name for Rainier roughly translates to Magic Mountain - seriously. Because on any given day the atmospheric complications of WA can make it disappear from the horizon altogether or appear to float off the planet - Seriously messed with my head for a couple of years. Anyways, -
4 sprays x IH; 1 x spray to each side of neck; 1 x spray to throat; 1 x spray to the back of my neck.
Self effects: just a general pick me up. Made me smile happy. I’m liking this, because I’m making an active, conscious effort to be happy. Not positive or ‘at peace’ or anything else. I’m making an effort to be happy in actuality.
Outside temp: approx 62F - a warm day; didn’t even take a jacket. Approx 50% humidity.
One of my regular bus drivers let me get off the bus, between stops at a set of lights. This doesn’t sound like much, but the bus drivers here are notoriously: inflexible, rude and difficult. So, yay for me.
When I meet K, she’s on the phone. This is a person who is the Anti-Geek. She is not allowed beyond the doorway of the server lab. She is forbidden to update her work computer. Her latest kill is an old staple. She goes thru phones like nothing else. This one is her third this year, she got it today and it’s already got the same issue as the last one that’s in the box we have to take to UPS.
In case you didn’t guess - she had a DAY. This is not a person to get vocal. She’s more the "put a lid on it, get home, 1 x bottle red wine, talk like it’s nothing. Put 3/4 bottle back.
But by the time we got there, she’d told me the day, I empathized, sympathized and deconstructed the day so by the time we were going home, she was laughing about it. She’d lost that tension in the shoulders and eyes and was grinning. Plotting as well, but grinning.
So, 4 x sprays on me is a can opener on K. I wanna see what it does to other people, now. K is the most reserved person 'til you get to know her. And 3 was on the high end of effective with my roommates. Do I really . . .
Really? I wish that were true…oh wait, maybe that explains why I only got hit on by the insane or inebriated. Here I thought it was me all the time. (I LOVE dancing, but I rarely have time for it, and drink very little or only water; those venues are not my norm.)
Ok, it’s officiallly Tuesday for the last 2 hours. I’ve caught up on all the threads and now I’m making another entry.
Since the job I got last month was a pretend job; I’m still looking for work and yesterday I had an interview.
My last order was only TOGO! bottles and I’ve been hoarding them for "special’ occasions. Guess what? Interviews are special occasions. I had a plan. To get across warm and friendly but seriously competent. I generally don’t interview that well; anxiety, panics and what have you. AND I’m fighting everyone else who have serious careers in office jobs which makes it really hard as this is NOT my first, second or even tenth choice. But we do what we have to do; and I am seriously competent.
The interview was in the stix (almost for real) with bus travel. It took 3 buses and 2 and a half hours. But the job would be local to me. Yes, I got lost you have no idea how much of my time in this country has been spent lost and dependant on the kindness of strangers. And they always come through for me.
So, the plan was: Instant Shine and Instant Honesty; the Shine for me and the IH to encourage whomever was interviewing me to get the warm fuzzies and feel comfortable with opening up a little themselves and relaxing in my presence.
When I got to the address, I stopped and took a minute. Brush my hair, check my teeth and spray mones.
Before this, a woman is checking her car for something and on her back door windows is painted “proud mother of a grad 2011”. I congratulated her grad and her.
3 1/2 x sprays IS; 1 x spray to my throat; 1 x spray to each wrist and left wrist got a half more because the contents are LOW and it took half a spray to get it going.
4 x sprays IH; 1 x spray to the back of each hand; 2 x sprays to the back of my neck.
Self effects: Breathe deep because I want the Shine to affect me. I had travelled to far and had to backtrack ON THE HIGHWAY! And got myself discombobulated. After a couple of minutes breathing the mones - yes, even the IH in spite of my previous episodes with blurting stuff.
I start to smile, I start to feel good. My composure gets it gyroscope oiled and I’m re-combobulated (new word).
Outside temp: 64F SUNNY!!! YAY! Sorry, Awesomely beautiful day.
Wind factor is COLD; when it hits, it feels like 49F. It blowing hard enough to make a mess of my hair, my shadow looks cartoonish - the hair having a life of it’s own.
Took a hoodie.
I open the door and enter and it’s a tiny reception and I’m the fifth person, only one chair left. The other four interviewees are all DIHL as is normal in this type of situation.
The receptionist gives me the obligatory form on clipboard and I sit in between two girls and fill it out. The space is tight and everyone is exposed to my mones.
About halfway down the page, everyone seemed to get to the same place at once. There was a collective deep breath and exhale and a visible relaxing in body language and faces. People started smiling at each other and making small talk.
I just smiled to myself and spoke with the receptionist.
The woman I congratulated in the front of the building, comes in. She smiles at me. There’s nowhere else to sit and another two people walk in.
Just a couple more minutes and the inner door opened and two people came out and left, and the receptionist takes two more in. After not too long, 15 - 20 minutes maybe, those two come out and the receptionist takes the woman I congratulated and I in for our interview.
It goes well, the boss is a fem, and actually listens to what both of us have to say; asks questions and takes in the answers. Both of us, T and I are relaxed and not making those nervous faux pas that have you rolling your eyes and slapping your forehead later. I’m confident and so’s T. The boss starts to relax about 10 mins into the interview; her shoulders relax significantly, then her jaw line and finally her eyes.
She does open up about who she is, what her company is all about and what she really wants. Our interview goes easily twice as long as the previous one. By the end we are both asked back for a second interview on Friday.
The issue of my lack of transport is raised and T offers to pick me up from the Transit Center if we end up doing training together.
IS strikes again! Definitely earned its praise from Alpha today.
We leave with the reception area packed with more people than when we went in to interview. The other four that were there when I entered all look up and SMILE BIG at me. I return the favor and leave with T following. She offers me a ride to the Transit Center and of course I accept.
I truly believe that everybody is amazing - you just don’t know their story. This is another AMAZING American woman. And I’m going to be that specific. I have been stunned, amazed and devastated by so many wonderful people, here.
Yeah, the Gates’, the Trumps and the Hiltons are rich, rich and famous and rich and infamous - who cares? The HEROES are those that give of themselves without qualifying the gift and stand by the decision - regardless of the difficulty incurred. Yes this woman told me about herself and again, I was humbled in the face of such matter of fact, ordinary greatness - if you get my meaning. She even commented about how she felt relaxed in the interview and that’s not usual.
The mones smoothed my day, I felt good. But today I was privileged to ease someone else’s day. And I also hope that the mones eased the other four enough that the smiles I left lasted into their interviews.
This put me in such a calm state. Interviews - not my best thing. But now, definitely something I’m feeling I’m getting better at. Being able to assist my mood in such a way is a serious edge. Funny how everything went ok when the focus was assisting the interviewer in opening up, rather than trying to generate control of the situation. (control anything outside of your own reactions - bah hahaha that’s just nutty)
I go back on Friday, wish me luck.
PS - I have contention with the whole ‘placebo’ concept. I have suspected and today am more convinced the application of the mones have more like a post hypnotic suggestion (for me); a learned behaviour, if you will. Yes, the self effects are very real for me. I have also had hypnosis for specific stress inducing exams, because if I’m not feeling confident in my memory, I start to panic. Just pulling the mones out of my bag releases the relief trigger that feeling good is coming next - and I let that happen, relax into it and let the mones take care of the rest of the wildcards - being the other people I’m going to deal with.
What kind of job are you applying for? I hope you do well on the 2nd interview.
ODG
It’s a manager for a perfume wholesale/distributor, ironically enough.
LOL I hope you really do get the job.
ODG
Yesterday I had plans with a gf to get a ride to I could take my pc tower and get it some sorely needed memory. The gf that was taking me is the person that I met at Thaw. C.
Now, I’ve worn IH with her while we’ve hung out, the point being that I’ve wanted her to be at ease with me. She comes across as a little shy and slightly timid; well over the last month we’ve bonded as friends. I didn’t journal those days because there was no big hits, just making a new friend comfortable and encouraging her to talk. Those days have been mellow and fun.
She even bought me a yeeros for my birthday. Hey, she’s a fashion designer trying to break out of the barista box; and it’s what I wanted.
Today, I decided to try IS with her. I only had a tiny bit in the bottom of a TOGO! bottle and so I emptied it on me. It went like this:
Instant Shine; A number of tiny sprays on my wrists until the wet factor felt and looked like a whole spray; the rest on my throat, which felt like a whole spray. In all it was about 9 sprays evenly spread.
Self effects: Don’t know, I was in a hurry and in a pretty good mood anyway.
Outside temp: Approx 60F, intermittent wind, low cloudcover, no sun - we’re back in jackets and hoodies.
I have to do this again. After a bunch of delays, she surprised me by just turning up. I go outside and after a lot of fumbling and trying to not buy any trouble, stick the tower in the back seat, get in the front breathe deep and relax and smile at C and we get the biz moving.
After a couple of minutes, C starts a conversation; and we chat. We chat about a lot of things and this is the most animated I’ve seen her. It makes me smile, cos now I feel like I’m getting down to the C I can see. She’s animated, we disagree and it’s no biggie. Just we disagree on that and it’s all good.
I’m going to a place that deals in used as well as new parts, repair, upgrade - in other words the geek squad on their home turf. These guys and the organisation is cool. They’ve done right by me for the last 3 years, but it’s my first time at this branch.
I go in, talk to a guy and it’s only one surprise and not much of one. He’s very nice to me, is wanting to please me above and beyond. It’s compuspeak so I’ve forgotten all the favors he tried to do for me. Many smiles, I pay for the memory cards, no installation charge and we leave.
C takes me back home and the plan is to drop the tower and head down to the ‘beach’ for a coffee. It’s a plan. The best laid plans of mice and men. lol
When I come out of the house, I see about 25 yards away a girl I met a month or so ago is smoking a cigarette leaning on her car. K.
I live at the third from end house in a dead end street. Behind those houses is a small Native reserve that hooks around and has a gully across the street from our house. So we don’t even have across the street neighbours. But we do have a coyote racoons and the HUGE squirrel that I named Rocky (as in Balboa not Bullwinkle).
C is smoking leaning against her car and I call K over as I was just thinking of her yesterday. She’s muslim, trying to bridge the gap of what some traditionalists in her family try to enforce and the fact that she’s been here since a baby and for all intents and purposes is American. So, when she gets a chance, she drives to my street and has a smoke or two. She’s shy but friendly and chatty anyway, I introduce her to C; she hugs me takes a deep breath and her face lit up and she got animated.
There I was, outside the house with two newish people in front of me and both of them positively animated and talking talking talking with no reserve and no shyness or self consciousness. For nearly 2 hours.
Because I have different needs, everyone on here knows I’m in love with IO. BUT:
Again, for the second day in a row, IS earned 1Alpha’s glowing appreciation.
And I got to see two people that I like a lot so far in a way that probably would’ve taken months without any ‘assistance’. It was, in spite of the weather, a Shiny day.
**
**
Thanx, so do I!
A same day post! As I stated previously, I’ve been stingy and hoarding my mones b/c I only had TOGO! bottles and they’re low or gone.
But I ordered my birthday present to myself yesterday; so today being Wednesday and shopping day I decided to treat myself.
4 x sprays IO; 1 x spray to each wrist; 1 x spray to my forehead; 1 x spray to my throat.
Can’t help myself as soon as it’s on one wrist, I inhale big and deep and Smile! I’m in a pretty good place for the last week or so, making the effort to not let my situation get to me.
Self effects: I love this stuff. My mood kicks over into genuinely happy.
Outside temp: It’s approx 62F, sunny, dry, warm and beautiful. Light breeze that isn’t freezing. I leave the house in a short sleeved T shirt and jeans. I always wear jeans. Western Washington is never hot enough for me not to.
Meet Karen and she’s ok for a minute while we settle into the car. By the time we pull into traffic, she’s grinning and we’re chatting and laughing at speed! Did I mention I love IO? The conversation, while on a variety of semi-serious (ongoing) topics flits between, over, under and in and out with each other. No digressions, just as if you were having more than one conversation IMing, but with the same person.
At the store, I see someone I haven’t seen in a couple of months (she works there) and is one of the loveliest souls I know. We catch up and we’re smiling and laughing. She’s doing good and cultivating a better situation for herself elsewhere. I’m SO happy for her! She’s wasted in a grocery store. We’re kinda blocking one end of the open wall fridge - butter, yogurt n stuff like that - and a couple of people come and stand close. Obviously they want stuff from where we’re standing. No-one says anything and Ch and I are speed chatting. She is at work, so we’re trying to get a catchup without interfering with her schedule.
One of the customers standing close to try and reach around, suddenly turns to me with a huge smile, looks surprised at me and I realise I’m “butter blocking”. I smile, apologise and move back a little and she’s all “Oh, no. I’ve just been making up my mind” still smiling at me. She walks off, taking her time.
Ch looks at me and says “Oh my, she’s in a very good mood today.” The other person waiting in the “blocked butter” zone is smiling, happy, teeth showing smile. He moves in and takes something, apologising for getting literally in our conversation. Ch: “Oh, everyone is in a good mood. That’s nice. I like it when the people are happy.” Karen joins us and starts smiling again and we’re all three speed chatting.
At the store next door, one of the boys working on a display - I’m looking at sunglasses, I lost mine a couple months ago - starts flirting with me and offering me sunglasses to try on. Some are just funny and I appreciate the effort to make me smile; some are not bad and one is going to be good enough, considering the venue. He offers to let me buy him. I laugh and go looking for dishwashing liquid.
I love IO.
What needs to be noted here is that I didn’t even think at the time and just went to the next store because I needed to. Prior to mones, this would be broken up with me having a cigarette in between stores just to psych up to it. As it was, I just went from one to the next with a **smile!
JUST SO WE’RE CLEAR: I LOVE IO!
**
Hi Astrea =) Good luck for the second round of your interview! IS and IO seems to be rocking your world. I can’t wait to receive mine and start experimenting.
I love reading your journal and hope that I will be able to report similar findings as yours! It will be wonderful to use them at work and sooth ruffled feathers! People in my office are hot tempered!