# My crush is playing hard to get.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [January 26, 2011, 9:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945 "2011-01-26T09:03:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dsouza](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dsouza/32/840_2.png) [@dsouza](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/dsouza)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 9:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945/1 "2011-01-26T09:03:41Z")
Ok maybe that’s why she’s become my crush… if she was too easy to get to know I wouldn’t have her on my mind all the time. Maybe she’s truly busy but I think if a woman really wants a man they will make the time to pursue back. So to make the story short let say I pursue to some extent. She knows I’m taken but still wants to be close – she calls me family. I am usually the one pursuing her. I visit her every week. Sometimes I think she gets used to it. So I went in with IS the other day and just said hello and avoided her, I went to the cafe. BANG 20 min later she SEEKS me out. This is the 2nd time this has happened to me with IS on with her. I talk to her for a while and she tells me she’s got a new job in the works. I ask her all about how we can stay in touch. I facebooked her at night but no reply. The more she avoids me the more needy I become of her, But I am not 17 anymore. I know if I act too needy she will just she me as low status so I know when to pull back. At the same time I show interest in her. Could it be that A) I should keep it give and take like it is? B) I should avoid her 90% of the time and make her chase me constantly C) I should give up. I cant understand. Yes she is a 10/10 gorgeous and sweet. She is also very private person. I do notice one thing IS makes a diff with her. She seems so much more open to talk to me. I wonder I’ve been told my facial expression looks grumpy when I don’t smile, perhaps IS changes my look (good mood) and that gets her to approach. Well any tips? She seems high value although now that she got a lowered position at another company her value may go down. Sometimes I like the fact that shes not the least bit needy. It makes me feel like I am free of responsibility with her. What do you guys recommend with the 10’s? To chase, to avoid, or to give and take… dsouza ---
**Author:** ![Spinach](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/spinach/32/348_2.png) [@Spinach](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Spinach)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 9:57am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945/2 "2011-01-26T09:57:58Z")
But you’re taken and not 17 anymore..? ---
**Author:** ![dsouza](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dsouza/32/840_2.png) [@dsouza](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/dsouza)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 10:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945/3 "2011-01-26T10:37:35Z")
> [@Spinach](#): > > But you’re taken and not 17 anymore..? haha I don’t know if anything will come out of it, but the fact that she’s got my mind wrapped up is driving me crazy! If she was hot but not playing games I think I would just think of her as another babe and move on… She may be taken too.. hard to say.. she would never let me know.. on the other hand I do see her flirt with several guys. She’s a hotel supervisor and I guess that means she comes into contact with dozens of people everyday. Consequently, she’s probably developed a tolerance to guys coming on to her. Her facebook profile shows more than 400 friends., She is very popular. I think chasing her is my mistake… dsouza ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 10:42am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945/4 "2011-01-26T10:42:30Z")
> [@](#): > > She knows I’m **taken** but still wants to be close – she calls me family. What do you mean by taken ? Taken with her or your in another relationship ? The kiss of death. Being called family is worse then being in the friends box. When a girl tells you your like family she is setting a clear boundary. I am not saying you have to stay in that position. There are ways to get out but you mention your taken. If you start to cross that boundary and she is aware you are taken ( I am assuming taken means you have a GF) it will reflect badly on your character with this girl. Your value is in your character. What are you hoping for in this relationship with this girl ? Are you hoping she pursues you so you wont have to take any risks ? This way you always have your back up GF if the girl you have a crush on doesn’t come around. Are you hoping she will lower her standards and just pursue while she is aware your involved with someone else. I am not trying to say your a bad guy for having a crush, hell we all have them even when in relationships but I am trying to make you take a realistic view of your relationship to her and where you want it to go. If you meant “taken” as she is aware you are taken with her then thats different. Then I suggest you start leading this “dance”. Right now she is leading it right into the safe family zone. If you dont want to be there you need to start taking the lead. Play a little hard to get yourself. When she pursues you then flirt and create some sexual tension. Make sure she is clear your not her brother or her father but a man. Your gonna have to take a risk though and make a move eventually or the two of you will be dancing around forever. Nothing wrong with that either. Dancing can be fun but eventually the music is gonna stop. 😉 Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Spinach](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/spinach/32/348_2.png) [@Spinach](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Spinach)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 10:55am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945/5 "2011-01-26T10:55:12Z")
Maybe she is purposely setting that ‘family’ boundary if she knows youre taken/have a relationship going, even if she IS attracted to you. That’s kind of what surprised me and why I wrote my first post, I just didn’t want to come off as narrow-minded. To me it’s not right to be willing to think about having something going on with this girl if you are already involved with someone. If I were her I would probably family/friend-zone you to avoid drama. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![dsouza](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dsouza/32/840_2.png) [@dsouza](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/dsouza)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 11:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945/6 "2011-01-26T11:31:38Z")
[quote=“tisha23”] What do you mean by taken ? Taken with her or your in another relationship ? **The kiss of death. Being called family is worse then being in the friends box. When a girl tells you your like family she is setting a clear boundary.** –\> Before she found out I was taken she was after me. In fact she would go the extra mile with me. There was attraction between us from the start. I find it hard to believe a woman can shut off attraction so quickly if its theres deep inside. She hesitated when she called me family, she thought for 2-3 seconds before she came up with the word. I think consciously or not shes trying to avoid drama and categorize me safely. **Then I suggest you start leading this “dance”. Right now she is leading it right into the safe family zone. If you dont want to be there you need to start taking the lead. Play a little hard to get yourself. When she pursues you then flirt and create some sexual tension. Make sure she is clear your not her brother er or her father but a man. Your gonna have to take a risk though and make a move eventually or the two of you will be dancing around forever. Nothing wrong with that either. Dancing can be fun but everntually the music is gonna stop. 😉** I hear you Tisha – very well stated. Look all my life I’ve relied on my looks and body and have had women pursuing me. Consequently I never flirted with them as they flirted with me. In fact I was more like the man who would never be controlled by any woman more than the flirtatious type. Women who likes the challenge and who saw me as high value, especially the 10’s would chase me and go crazy if I didn’t talk to them. Truth is deep inside I was shy and lead a busy life. I didn’t think of myself as high value at all. I would like to start this dance as I’ve explained to my SO that I am not fully happy and would like to date other girls without going into details as to what I may or may not do with a woman, so she is aware of the situation. I told her I am ambivalent about our relationship. I am not cheating on her in any way. I plain suck at flirting. I’m better off getting in wicked shape which I can do in 2 months (I’m about 10 lbs off so not a huge task) , using mones, and playing the hard to get guy. In fact if I only pursue her I know I will likely appear needy so I should talk to more women for the sake of lack of neediness if nothing else. At the same time I have to show her I’m interested. I can’t expect to just make something happen out of nothing. I am using IS to increase my confidence and soft skills until I get more natural confidence like I had in my 20’s when I was an amateur bodybuilder. As for what I hope to get out of this… I hope to get some drama steering, get her to feel attraction to me and get out of the family zone. But I can’t do it with flirting… Just not me.. Any ideas.. I am good at buying special gifts that mean something, or playing hard to get or being friendly. I don’t have the raging hormones I had in my 20’s that I can come on like a f\*cker with her, dsouza ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 12:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945/7 "2011-01-26T12:30:28Z")
> [@](#): > > I plain suck at flirting. I’m better off getting in wicked shape which I can do in 2 months (I’m about 10 lbs off so not a huge task) , using [mones](http://www.pheromonetalk.com/) , and playing the hard to get guy. In fact if I only pursue her I know I will likely appear needy so I should talk to more women for the sake of lack of neediness if nothing else. > [@](#): > > As for what I hope to get out of this… I hope to get some drama steering, get her to feel attraction to me and get out of the family zone. But I can’t do it with flirting… Just not me.. Well flirting is a learned skill like any other. It may not be natural to you but you can learn it. You dont have to be blatantly flirty though. Your job is to create sexual tension. You can do that verbally with well placed innuendos. You can do it by teasing which all little boys learned growing up. Lower your voice to a intimate levels when talking about certain subjects that are personal. This is hard to describe without me being there to demonstrate but I am talking about the level of your voice. You can even create sexual tension with body language. I can actually have a whole conversation with my husband just using body language. LOL There are lots of sites online that can help you brush up on BL. When your talking to her enter her space more. Lean in a little, Make eye contact. If she breaks eye contact establish it again. If you happen to touch her for some reason let your hand linger a bit. Take up more space. I am not talking about inappropriate touching like your hand on her ass or something LOL, This establishes dominance and creates sexual tension. Its sort of like dangling the bait in front of a fish. You flirt with the fish, pull the bait away a little and make them pursue, flirt some more with the fish, pull away again a little till the fish is following your bait then when the time is right and you know they really want that bait bad you hook them. Now get out there and go fishing. 😉 Tisha ---
**Author:** ![dsouza](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dsouza/32/840_2.png) [@dsouza](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/dsouza)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945/8 "2011-01-26T20:42:53Z")
Do you think A314 could help me out here? I would like to add a tad bit more self esteem to the mix in terms of VIP status. Perhaps a single drop combined with shine would be beneficial? Or do you think it would just push her away and make her think of me as her boss at work who she trusts and respects but doesn’t fall head over heels for, instead of a lover? dsouza ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Fedora](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dr.fedora/32/1193_2.png) [@Dr.Fedora](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Dr.Fedora)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 9:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945/9 "2011-01-26T21:03:40Z")
What always helped me with my shyness was [Instant Jerk](https://a314.com/product/instant-jerk/) layered with A/B Nols. You just stop giving a f\*k. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 10:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945/10 "2011-01-26T22:18:19Z")
> [@dsouza](#): > > Do you think A314 could help me out here? I would like to add a tad bit more self esteem to the mix in terms of VIP status. Perhaps a single drop combined with shine would be beneficial? Or do you think it would just push her away and make her think of me as her boss at work who she trusts and respects but doesn’t fall head over heels for, instead of a lover? > > dsouza Sorry had to tottle off to work LOL I think A314 could work if your one of those who get self effects. She has a comfort level with you so it shouldn’t push her away. It may signal to her there is more then meets the eye here. I would give it a try. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![dsouza](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dsouza/32/840_2.png) [@dsouza](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/dsouza)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2011, 4:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-crush-is-playing-hard-to-get/44945/11 "2011-02-06T04:20:16Z")
> [@Dr.Fedora](#): > > What always helped me with my shyness was Instant Jerk layered with A/B Nols. You just stop giving a f\*k. How would you say Jerk compared to edge/npa? dsouza