# My oh my, were did the respect go? **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [July 28, 2009, 10:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065 "2009-07-28T10:43:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Domnk](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/domnk/32/2269_2.png) [@Domnk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Domnk)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/81 "2009-07-30T21:07:45Z")
> [@mark-in-dallas](#): > > It wasn’t 40 or 50 points that were subtracted from your reputation Domnk, I know exactly how many it was and it was quite a few less, and I’m pretty sure I know who did it. As I’ve just wrote in my previous post, I monitor the points, so I can read comments, it was about 40-50, maybe I counted wrong? I’m unsure. 🙂 > [@mark-in-dallas](#): > > In looking back at the original post, you start out by saying that it’s not your intent to bash anybody, but then make this statement: > > “it just lacks emotional presence, some empathy. It just hurts, it strikes a cord, which seems to be absent in that congregate,” > > and this > > “‘Soon ripe, soon rotten; soon wise, soon foolish.’ > Think about it.” > > So yeah, you did in fact strike out at that congregation, and I almost wish I had not repped you now. Oh my, that proverb was in reference to me more so than anything else 😛 I was using it for the ‘Soon ripe, soon rotten’ part, I was feeling good about the forum, and the PUA material got me distraught, the second part was just there, not intended for anything. ☹ Then negative rep me if you wish ☹☹ But I never wrote that all PUA material is used apathetically. > [@mark-in-dallas](#): > > It’s fine to have your own opinion and agree or disagree with what people do or how they live their lives, but your statements were judgmental, and you sought for others to agree and empathize with you. That just wasn’t right. > > If the member that negged you jumped over to the mens section and made statements to cast you in a poor light and try to get the guys to look down upon you, I’m sure you wouldn’t like it, but that’s pretty much what attempted to do with the ladies. I did not create that post out of malice, I did not try to rally women against PUA material, I expressed how I was feeling and it was meant to ask the others on the forum, to help put those feeligs in perspective and ideally how to cope with them. Nothing more. Dominick ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/82 "2009-07-30T21:15:56Z")
> [@djandarial](#): > > Show me a Girl with morals, high value, and a belief in self worth. > > You will find a person with beliefs founded in some higher belief system, does not drink, and does not frequent bars or clubs in general. > > Generalization are what cause trouble, the above is no different, but it does ground itself in some truth. > > It all goes back to don’t get upset because some guy way back when got you, and guys don’t get upset that some girl used you for free drinks. > > I already said my piece on the PU world and material. > > I for one did not rep OP, but see this thread as causing some rift in the forum here. im offended. ---
**Author:** ![Xiphoid](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/xiphoid/32/1852_2.png) [@Xiphoid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Xiphoid)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/83 "2009-07-30T21:25:50Z")
> [@BrunetteBeauty](#): > > After speaking with some of the women, I was tuned into the fact that the PUA community was a huge part of pheromone community. I had stumbled unto PUA turf. It dawned on me that it’s the PUA’s, that is this industry’s bread and butter. I get that now. If you want to to share the phero information and get the pheros..you have to put up with the PUA community and try to live peacefully among them. I’m the visitor here. I get what you are saying but I don’t agree. Phero’s may go hand in hand with PUA, or should I say it may have been like that, but the phero community isn’t all male anymore. It’s co-ed! This forum is supposed to welcome _everyone_ and be about _phero’s_, it’s not supposed to be a PUA forum where phero’s are also discussed and where anyone who’s not a PUA is a visitor who has to put up with them because we “are on their turf” ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/84 "2009-07-30T21:30:15Z")
by the way, i have NO problem giving neg reps out. im not here running for president. this isnt a popularity contest, or else i would be agreeing the PUA community here is equally positive. for the MOST part, its not. this is only my opinion, and i dont suggest everyone think like me. it is what it is. there are alot of people HERE that agree with others out of fear of losing some kind of social status. makes sense, doesnt it? especially when alot of these people come here to help BOOST social status? im sure social status insecurity leaks into all areas of life. a forum would surely be an outlet. ---
**Author:** ![pherophreak](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/pherophreak/32/1531_2.png) [@pherophreak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/pherophreak)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:37pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/85 "2009-07-30T21:37:45Z")
> [@Domnk](#): > > Now, my intent is not to bash the guys, really, it’s just.. that, I’ve been reading alot more of the women’s sections more of the forum, because, well, the men’s section seems to be putting a bad taste in my mouth, if you’ll excuse the turn of phrase. It’s the PUA material, I feel really bad when I read that type of thing, and it just lacks emotional presence, some empathy. It just hurts, it strikes a cord, which seems to be absent in that congregate, and I’m unsure about how I feel about that absence among… I don’t know whether to be saddened or angered, to cry, or disregard. > > Don’t get me wrong I love the people on this forum, but it is just, hurtful. Does anyone else feel this? > > ‘Soon ripe, soon rotten; soon wise, soon foolish.’ > Think about it. > > Dominick Maybe you should look at it in a different light. Women, are people. Men, are people too. But we aren’t in the day and age where we can have a storybook meeting and relationship with these girls. If we were to spend our time thinking about the one “mrs right” for us, with her “curls of golden hair” and “Eyes that could see through stone” chances are we would crash and burn with this girl. As you and I both know, if you show too much interest you will be shot down, plain and simple. It isn’t that we (or at least most of us) view women as objects, it is just that before we reach a certain point in the relationship, the entire thing IS a game. What I mean by this is that before we manage to actually make a special connection with a special someone we are forced to see you as what we are given to be seen. Once the chase is over, and the game has been played, there is real feeling, and not just a game. Keep in mind, even most PUA’s final goal is to have a beautiful woman that we can love, hold, and be happy with. ---
**Author:** ![ElectraComplex](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/electracomplex/32/1257_2.png) [@ElectraComplex](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ElectraComplex)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:37pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/86 "2009-07-30T21:37:48Z")
> [@djandarial](#): > > Show me a Girl with morals, high value, and a belief in self worth. > > You will find a person with beliefs founded in some higher belief system, does not drink, and does not frequent bars or clubs in general. > > Generalization are what cause trouble, the above is no different, but it does ground itself in some truth. > > It all goes back to don’t get upset because some guy way back when got you, and guys don’t get upset that some girl used you for free drinks. > > I already said my piece on the PU world and material. > > I for one did not rep OP, but see this thread as causing some rift in the forum here. dj baby you know i love you lol but a girl has a right to go shake her bootay 😛 I do tend to agree on the bar thing but mostly if a girl goes solo. You go with friends tis the same thing as guys do hard day at work bf probs or simply chilling. Now the girls that show up w their asses hanging out of their too short dresses and get sloshed of their arse…🙄 Eh.. theres either a thought process missing or they’re after the same thing the boys are. Chances are if I go out most of my skin is covered and my hair is up sure I still try to look nice but thats for me. 😃 I love clubs.Especially industrial clubs. Bars are ok in the right company.I don’t drink because I can’t really drink livers fairly bad off.Plenty of irish in this girl lol tho i love my booze.I like buying other people drinks ah living vicariously. But when I did drink it was simply to relax and be happy. in general. I’d say some guys take the pua thing to a negative extreme but I noticed in high school guys like collecting women or snagging that pretty girl so they have bragging rights. Girls do the same thing but we’re on the hunt for long term generally. Yeah guys in their area are gonna talk shit its what men do.It’s good for male bonding and ectra.Yes us gals do it too in our own particular manner. I do think that when you go for something like a one night stand there is a detachment you don’t want to get too emotionally involved.I mean if you fell madly in love with the girl your whole one night stand plan would be fubared. 🙂 I think that its that detachment that bothers a lot of the girls and got to domnk. We all have different beliefs and values. Thats fine.I may disagree with some things sometimes but you guys are entitled to feel and do what you want as long as its not a personal attack against someone else. I think that to an extent it should be ok for women to vent their frustration on their side of the forum lest we end up in some sort of convoluted gender war. I can understand that for some of you guys you’ve simply had enough of drama and clingy behavior. Not all women are that way thats a given but the ones that hurt guys to the point they would rather stay away except to play make me sad. On the alternate side of the coin women have feelings and a lot of us don’t handle the one night stand thing so well.The trick is to try to go for the ladies that do.Those sexually confident foxes that know they got it and you want it and thats why the’re out to play. Women by nature have a strong biological investment in any sexual act and I think that is part of our mindset. I also think that if you’re gonna sleep with a guy the first time you meet him you’re taking your chances no matter how cute,sexy or persuasive he is. I don’t want to knock PUA I think for some people the psychology behind it can be helpful and that some guys are overdue a good shag . However, as with many things in life there are people who take it to a bad place. Everyone has been riled up lately because of all the things happening and I think we need to take a step back and breathe and look at things from an objective if possible point of view. Domnk was expressing an opinion and his feelings he did not list or attack anyone in specific on the forum he said he disliked the practice or method and listed his personal reasons on that.That he brought it over to the womens side may have been sketch but I don’t think he was trying to pick a fight merely taking his thoughts somewhere he could express them without being attacked. I’m sorry if anything I say offends any of you that is not my intent but people are being so volatile over this I feel someone should pop in and mediate and say hey lets all be friends. Women using pheromones. I don’t like that some of you guys think we’re wasting our time.You are entitled to you opinion of course but I have my own view on the matter. Androtics is unique in that it is a company that sells pheromones for reasons other than sex and in general to help with general social interaction.Yes, some peoples pheromones don’t match their personality or how they want to be viewed by others if we could naturally control that we wouldn’t have a market for pheros.(and PUA wouldn’t be needed as much) I may not agree with my friends sometimes I may think they’re dicks sometimes or bitches but ya know at the end of the day I still love them. I’m still me and have my opinions and they are still themselves. I hope I’ve been around long enough for you guys to know that if you get laid I’m rooting you on just as much as your boys are but I am a girl. I don’t think being fooled by a facade is stupid we all are fooled at one time or another.I know you guys have a hard time.Every species has its courtship and mating rituals.However, ours are personal and as such leave hurt on both sides when things go awry. Steve-o baby I think most of us ladies look at you as a teddy bear. Which from a girls standpoint isn’t bad and definitely not emotionless. I do KNOW that domnk for sure in no way intended that as we were talking of ways to help androtics out because of everything going on. He was just disturbed by the ethics of pua. I don’t know what else to say. I think everyone is entitled to their opinions. But I do not think now is the time or place to argue about this. We have testing we should be doing. Right now we should be doing what we can to boost forum morale not to tear it down or cause rifts. We are human we have emotions and right now thanks to all the bs w attacks on people related to the company and everything else we’re upset. We’re worried. Things that wouldn’t normally bother us will and by letting those things bother us we’re helping out the very people who want to destroy the haven we’ve found here and the company we all care for so much. I think the title of this thread says it all. We have got to respect each other now more than ever. xoxo ~Electra Ps. Feel free to pm me if you need any clarification on anything I’ve said. I have tried to be as objective as i can but any writer cannot help but write from their own bias. ---
**Author:** ![Geena](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/geena/32/570_2.png) [@Geena](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Geena)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/87 "2009-07-30T21:40:27Z")
Well maybe that isn’t the way it is, but it’s a vibe I get around here. There seems to be hell to pay when you criticize the pua material. But again, I’ve been here what a month or so? I don’t know the history or what’s going on. It’s just a feeling I get that I better tread gently here. lol Really, I have been using sooo much self-restraint I should get metal or fruit basket or something. lol > [@Xiphoid](#): > > I get what you are saying but I don’t agree. > > Phero’s may go hand in hand with PUA, or should I say it may have been like that, but the phero community isn’t all male anymore. It’s co-ed! > > This forum is supposed to welcome _everyone_ and be about _phero’s_, it’s not supposed to be a PUA forum where phero’s are also discussed and where anyone not who’s not a PUA is a visitor who has to put up with them because we “are on their turf” ---
**Author:** ![xev](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/xev/32/1993_2.png) [@xev](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/xev)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/88 "2009-07-30T21:41:36Z")
> [@BrunetteBeauty](#): > > As a newcomer, initially I read through the men’s stuff and thought to myself…what’s with these guys? It’s like Douchebag central! I just feel the need to point out that there are alot of really nice guys here. Really, I’m not trying to suck up to anyone, but I imagine that comments like these could really offend the decent folk around here. Not that there aren’t also some douchebags…I try to converse with people I like and filter the rest out. Sometimes when we are very sensitive to a particular issue we see it a bit out of proportion. At least that is true for me.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ElectraComplex](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/electracomplex/32/1257_2.png) [@ElectraComplex](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ElectraComplex)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/89 "2009-07-30T21:43:39Z")
I agree with xev some of the guys here rock just plain rock and I absolutely adore them. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Xiphoid](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/xiphoid/32/1852_2.png) [@Xiphoid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Xiphoid)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/90 "2009-07-30T21:53:07Z")
> [@BrunetteBeauty](#): > > Well maybe that isn’t the way it is, but it’s a vibe I get around here. There seems to be hell to pay when you criticize the pua material. But again, I’ve been here what a month or so? I don’t know the history or what’s going on. It’s just a feeling I get that I better tread gently here. lol Really, I have been using sooo much self-restraint I should get metal or fruit basket or something. lol BB, I hope I didn’t come across as I was just talking to you… I wasn’t critisizing you or saying you’re wrong, but I disagree with the fact that this forum feels like “PUA turf” and that we should “just accept that”. I don’t see why we should have to since this forum should be about phero’s & everyone should feel welcome. ---
**Author:** ![Mtnjim](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mtnjim/32/2010_2.png) [@Mtnjim](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mtnjim)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/91 "2009-07-30T21:55:46Z")
> [@BrunetteBeauty](#): > > … > I do think one thing the PUA community can learn from some women..is that they REALLY don’t know women as good as they think they do… Sadly one of the tenets of the PUA community is “never ask a woman what she wants, she doesn’t know”.😠 Beauty, I found your response well written. I have never subscribed to that PUA junk. Seems to be something that insecure and inexperienced kids need. Even from my youngest dating years I’ve never needed it and I’ve dated, loved, and lived with/married beauty queens, models, actresses, and strippers. And I’m _far_ from being a Brad Pitt, but _no_ woman is “out of my league”, some may be interested in me and most not, but for some strange reason even though my main criteria in a woman has never been appearance, most of the women I have been with have been strikingly beautiful. I can’t explain it but for some reason the women I have attracted generally had men stopping dead in their tracks on the street, all with out playing some psychological games. My most recent girl friend is in her mid 60’s and still gets hit on all of the time by guys in their 30’s. They practically faint when they hear her age. My ex-wife is turning 62 tomorrow and I need to send her a card, we remain friends 28 years after we divorced. She’s re-married and now lives in NorCal. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/92 "2009-07-30T21:56:05Z")
this isnt a gender war of any sort. this isnt a male vs female, its just that you dont see as much disrespect posted about men in general over here. women pua dont hang loudly here. and there is a _little_ less judgement along those lines, as evidenced by xev and electra and many others. not so much me,lol. i understand that. ---
**Author:** ![msselva](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/msselva/32/943_2.png) [@msselva](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/msselva)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/93 "2009-07-30T22:03:18Z")
> [@](#): > > As a newcomer, initially I read through the men’s stuff and thought to myself…what’s with these guys? It’s like Douchebag central! I got to agree with BrunetteBeauty, if I was a newbie and read some of the men’s stuff…my first impression about the forum would have been quite nasty. I’m just being honest, I don’t blame the girl. So I guess once you know some of the guys here, you realize…oh gawd, they’re not as bad as I thought! lol I love some of the guys in the forum, they are awesome, there are some that I talk to outside the forum and I do know some that practice the PUA stuff without being downright disturbing. I don’t have a problem with that and I like guys who _respect_ women. And then there are those who think they practice PUA, act all like they’re hot shots or something but actually report pretty disturbing stuff that just offends me…erk. Ah well, I like the ladies forum and I’m a girl myself, so I’m happy that we have our own section lol ---
**Author:** ![Mtnjim](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mtnjim/32/2010_2.png) [@Mtnjim](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mtnjim)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/94 "2009-07-30T22:11:22Z")
> [@msselva](#): > > I got to agree with BrunetteBeauty, if I was a newbie and read some of the men’s stuff…my first impression about the forum wouldn’t have been quite nasty. Ya, this PUA stuff pops up now and then, causes a bit of a disturbance then fades away again. Seems we get a critical mass of noobs who haven’t been through it before, then everyone (mostly) makes up and we get back to normal peace and quiet.😃 ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/95 "2009-07-30T22:12:32Z")
> [@](#): > > But that’s exactly what you are doing, too many assumptions about what PUA is really about. Can you tell me what method you have read to deduce this insight? Emotional distance, from what? Please cite your sources as you obviously have gathered enough information to make such an informed decision to be able to determine that I, as a PUA, have emotionally distanced myself. I don’t believe that Steve, as a person or as a PUA lacks empathy or has emotionally distanced himself. But if your look around the forum you will see there are PUA’s who have. This is what leaves a bad impression on the whole PUA community and can easily give Dom the impression that he has of it. For instance look at this response by Jankrin to another discussion that lead toward PUA … > [@](#): > > Because nowadays men are forced to be ‘fake’ to approach a woman. If you dont wanna second guess then why dont you be the one approaching the guy whom you think is ‘genuine’ instead? No offense but women demand too much. Women just wanna wait sitting pretty without making much effort and want us to be brave enough to approach them and interest them. Then, if they like us they want us to be ‘genuine’ and focus all attention to her only from then on, but if they dont like us they will just say ‘bye, Im not interested’ and throw us into the garbage can. > [@](#): > > It is very not easy for a guy to approach someone he is attracted to. Not only he has to control himself, he also has to think hard to impress the woman and compete with other guys. So by dehumanizing the target, it takes away a lot of pressure. I’m not saying it is okay, I’m just saying its understandable. Not only did he generalize a whole group…women but he admits that some PUA’s dehumanize their targets. That is emotional distancing. **I will say he is not referring to himself but speaking from his observations.** I agree its not easy for men, but my take is that PUA material and PUA’s themselves have gotten this reputation because that is what they convey when they post about it. They spend a lot of time blaming and whining. I am not objecting to PUA material, I am objecting to the poor interpretation and execution of it and not just by people who are not PUA’s but by the very ones who practice it. I am very familar with PUA. I know quite a few PUA’s who are good respectable men here. But we have a whole slew of new one’s who do not have a clue. > [@](#): > > Voicing objection to PUA material, though, isn’t good for one’s longevity on this forum. The forum management clearly sympathizes with the worldview of PU, and not with anyone who finds it offensive. > > Personally, I wouldn’t generalize and say ALL pua material is offensive (some of it would be helpful to anyone seeking social skills) but some of it, and some discussions of it here on Pherotalk, have been very dehumanizing, crude and nihilistic. I certainly wouldn’t want my company associated with it. I have to agree with this and its always been this way here. If anyone disagrees with the PUA mentality some people take offence But when those same people start to generalize and dehumanize women very few say a word in our defense. This is why people get a bad impression of PUA. Its not the material or every man who practices it. I know that Steve is deeply into PUA and well educated in it and I can not recall him ever bad mouthing women. He loves women but Its the picture many other PUA’s portray Instead of neg repping those who misunderstand PUA why not neg rep those who enable us to misunderstand it. Just my 2 cents Tisha ---
**Author:** ![Geena](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/geena/32/570_2.png) [@Geena](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Geena)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/96 "2009-07-30T22:30:14Z")
Oh I know Xev, that sounded awful..but what I was trying to say in that post was that was MY FIRST and INITIAL response to reading the stuff and what a newcomer might think upon initial browsing of the forums. After more investigation and further reading and understanding, my opinion has changed. There are some really good male posters here. Good guys with good motives and respect for themselves as well as women. Even some of the PUA guys who don’t buy in to PUA doctorine hook, line and sinker, but mainly utilize parts of the PUA idealogy to bring themselves out of their shells and to make themselves more sociable ect, are great. I can respect that. They respect women. But yeah..a guy who buys into stuff like mentioned by a previous poster, “Dont ask a woman what she wants because she doesn’t know.” Yah, that’s pretty doucheriffic no matter how you look at it. But yes lots of conversation here dehumanizes women, reducing them to nothing but complete objects to be displayed, used and bragged about. Honestly, a number of the guys seem to secretly loathe what they desire the most. But on the otherhand, there are many other male posters who are nothing like this and are kind, encouraging and respectful to women and appreciate our opinions and our feedback and share our common interest. We want to know how pheros affect them, they want to know how they affect us, what better way to find this out but to swap our personal experiences and insights? > [@xev](#): > > I just feel the need to point out that there are alot of really nice guys here. Really, I’m not trying to suck up to anyone, but I imagine that comments like these could really offend the decent folk around here. > > Not that there aren’t also some douchebags…I try to converse with people I like and filter the rest out. > > Sometimes when we are very sensitive to a particular issue we see it a bit out of proportion. At least that is true for me.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Domnk](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/domnk/32/2269_2.png) [@Domnk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Domnk)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/97 "2009-07-30T22:32:57Z")
> [@Steve](#): > > You may not have meant to, but by generalizing an entire group of people as lacking “emotional empathy” you certainly did a great job at it. This is actually very disrespectful to many men. > > But that’s exactly what you are doing, too many assumptions about what PUA is really about. Can you tell me what method you have read to deduce this insight? Emotional distance, from what? Please cite your sources as you obviously have gathered enough information to make such an informed decision to be able to determine that I, as a PUA, have emotionally distanced myself. My reference was to the notch on the belt, one-night-stand-after-another type of pua. Not everyone that uses pua material. 😛 > [@Steve](#): > > I’m not sure how exactly you can qualify anything in this thread by you than anything other than a personal attack against the PUA community, that you know so little about. Calling an entire community emotionless is baseless and a disregard to someones very emotions that you are claiming to champion. How is this fair to the millions of men and women, who are simply using social psychology to better themselves. I never meant to imply the _entire_ pua community in my statements. It has been addressed numerous times, in this thread, that PUA material can be used for noble and undignified purposes. > [@Steve](#): > > So you cared enough for me, as a PUA to call me an emotionless object. Gee thanks 🙄. Perhaps you could learn a valuable lesson yourself from reading your own posts. Emotions tend to run high, when another lowers your feelings to mere debauchery, and hurts you. I have emotions, obviously, I apologize for those that post, it was not well thought out, I will not apologize, however, for articulating my feelings in the original post though. > [@Steve](#): > > That’s very interesting, because I can look up where these things come from, but it seems like someone expressed an “emotional” response to your emotional post and this is wrong? The rep system is built to agree or disagree with someone and is anonymous to allow people speak their minds without reprisal. Never said it shouldn’t be anonymous, never inquired as to who it was. 🙂 Probably shouldn’t have brought the point deduction up though, my bad. > [@Steve](#): > > To blanket an entire culture as emotionless and lacking in wisdom is very hurtful itself and comes across as the very same way as you are making others out to be. > [@Steve](#): > > To quote your very own words: “‘Soon ripe, soon rotten; soon wise, soon foolish.’” > Please do think about it 😉 As I’ve written in the my last post, part two of that quote was just there because it came along with the first half, which was a reference to how I was feeling. The 'Think about it" comment, was just meant to be cute, and lighten the original post up. I’m sorry if that wasn’t clear. Dominick ---
**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/98 "2009-07-30T22:42:06Z")
I don’t believe Domnk was being mean, nor was that his intention. There is lots of the PUA community that I cringe over myself. Then there are guys like David DeAngelo (Eban), Allex Allman, Jae Ellis and the likes that are just great all around terrific human beings. In fact Jae, Romeo of AskRomeo, was the lead instructor for [The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, Dating Coaches. How to Tell if He’s Just Not That Into You!](http://www.therulesbook.com/) before he went off and decided to help teach men. So yes there are some very GOOD people that study and use Pick Up. Just like I also said in my post that I like Domnk and enjoyed our calls together. He’s a damn nice guy and it would be hard not to like him. I think what happens to all of us, including myself, is that we can generalize and compartmentalize entire groups of people without really knowing them. This is not only unfair to those people, but even more so its unfair to that person themselves. If we just throw everyone into one big group we might very well miss out on some of the most interesting people we would ever meet. I have also noticed the trend of MANY topics in the men’s section to take on a tone of crudeness. I mean how many of us like catlord17? Yet personally the name he assigned to his MX: “panty-scorcher” I found to be quite crass. That’s why personally I have referred to it as PS. Every one of us have different perceptions of whats good and whats bad and that’s good, but just like Domnk feeling as if his emotions are being taxed by what he finds crude, I thought it only proper to point out how others, namely me, felt to hear someone I like call me emotionless. We’re all human and even though someone might practice something different from what we think is the right way, doesn’t mean they are wrong. They are only wrong in our eyes. Look at the perception of witchcraft for the longest time. It wasn’t understood and therefore not only was there a sense of intolerance people died because of the perceived social awareness. Today it’s pretty mainstream 🙂. Don’t you go turning mark-in-dallas into a salamander Tisha. It took him weeks to reverse your spell and to this day he still licks his eyeballs.😉😛 ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/99 "2009-07-30T22:53:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t you go turning mark-in-dallas into a salamander Tisha. It took him weeks to reverse your spell and to this day he still licks his eyeballs.😉😛 😮 Why is he getting fresh again. We will have to meet out in the garage to discuss this new development. I am starting to think he likes being a salamader 😉 They are kinda cute Tisha ---
**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065/100 "2009-07-30T22:55:02Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > 😮 Why is he getting fresh again. We will have to meet out in the garage to discuss this new development. I am starting to think he likes being a salamader 😉 They are kinda cute > > Tisha Yes, while we are in the garage we can mix up some pheromones in the bucket 😛. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065.md?page=4) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/my-oh-my-were-did-the-respect-go/31065.md?page=6)