# Need help escaping "THE FRIEND ZONE" **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [May 12, 2008, 12:13am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488 "2008-05-12T00:13:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 1:26am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/41 "2008-05-17T01:26:50Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t have a lot of luck in dating (but then I haven’t tried much), but I do know that women aren’t attracted to “neediness”. It repels them- they seem to be attracted more to people that can stand on their own, people that could live like hermits if they had to, and still be happy- without them. Generally I agree, however some women are attracted to needy men. I’ve known a lot of nurses and noticed they tend to pick losers that need to be taken care of. Some even prefer cripples and blind guys. They enjoy being bossy, mothering and controlling weak minded or dysfunctional men. And there are plenty of guys like that too. I admit, I’ve suffered from the “broken wing” syndrome for a short while and took in a few strays. Makes you feel kinda powerful to save someone but gets old fast… ---
**Author:** ![NormaJeanMarilyn](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/normajeanmarilyn/32/586_2.png) [@NormaJeanMarilyn](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/NormaJeanMarilyn)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 4:52am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/42 "2008-05-17T04:52:26Z")
> [@midnightrun4fun](#): > > OMG! Have you been following me? I just got a new haircut, threw out all my old clothes and bought a BRAND new wardrobe, and I WEAR VERY SEXY FOR HIM!!! Holy Crap you are GOOD! 😉 I know what I know… > [@Gegogi](#): > > Generally I agree, however some women are attracted to needy men. I’ve known a lot of nurses and noticed they tend to pick losers that need to be taken care of. Some even prefer cripples and blind guys. They enjoy being bossy, mothering and controlling weak minded or dysfunctional men. And there are plenty of guys like that too. I admit, I’ve suffered from the “broken wing” syndrome for a short while and took in a few strays. Makes you feel kinda powerful to save someone but gets old fast… That’s the Florence Nightingale syndrome. I like to cater to my man, but not enable him. I don’t like wussy men. But thickheads turn me off as well. ---
**Author:** ![Daedelus76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Daedelus76](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Daedelus76)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 11:25am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/43 "2008-05-17T11:25:35Z")
> [@Gegogi](#): > > Generally I agree, however some women are attracted to needy men. I’ve known a lot of nurses and noticed they tend to pick losers that need to be taken care of. Some even prefer cripples and blind guys… I’m not sure that’s what I was thinking of when I said “Needy”. I was thinking more emotionally needy or dependent on other peoples approval/acceptance. People that are genuinely attracted to disabled people are called “devotees”. It used to be considered a paraphilia by psychologists but now days it is treated more with tolerance- in truth it’s no different than certain people preferring blonds or brunettes, it’s just a different way to look. Some women or men just find fullfillment in taking care of somebody, and that’s better than some other motivations in my book. Also, there are some people that can look past disability. Usually people with disabilities have a different perspective on life, and that can be mysterious or attractive to some people - some people are not attracted to average people. In some peoples minds, “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”, and being a “survivor” is attractive to some people as well. At one time in Europe (especially Germany) you weren’t a real man if you didn’t have a scar on your face somewhere or were missing an eye (hence the soap opera cliches of the eyepatch). ---
**Author:** ![Mecca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e79b87/32.png) [@Mecca](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Mecca)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 4:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/44 "2008-05-17T16:23:15Z")
I hate to say it treat them like shit and they will come back running. If you are her friend then you are definitely not her equal. Men and women are always tetsing each others boundaries. LIke they say the the Matrix. You never know someone until you fight them. Quote, “I know Neo, I fought him” The best way is to date someone else. I hate to say, are you religious or something not wanting to have sex before marriage. That is antiquatied in this world. Not being intimate with your partner is asking for disaster. If religion is in you way, stick with church girls.🙂 🙂 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![diasbora](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diasbora/32/656_2.png) [@diasbora](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diasbora)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 4:32pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/45 "2008-05-17T16:32:36Z")
> [@Gegogi](#): > > Generally I agree, however some women are attracted to needy men. I’ve known a lot of nurses and noticed they tend to pick losers that need to be taken care of. Some even prefer cripples and blind guys. They enjoy being bossy, mothering and controlling weak minded or dysfunctional men. And there are plenty of guys like that too. I admit, I’ve suffered from the “broken wing” syndrome for a short while and took in a few strays. Makes you feel kinda powerful to save someone but gets old fast… its funny; i can actually attest to this, but only to an extent. I find i try harder with certain women, but with others i have less of a “need to be with her” attitude, and that this difference in attitude invariably changes the outcome of the relationship. Now I’m no geru, but from my experience, the latter often gives the best results; being seductive, kind, even playful, while keeping a cool head and (subtly) having a girl know you’re OK with wherever the relationship takes you, works the best. I dated a few nurses before; with some of them “neediness” was a complete turn-off for them, whereas for others they like being wanted. midnightrun4fun; i know where you’re coming from. I’ve been in your situation before, going heads over heals for this one girl. she was the first thing i thought of when i woke up, and the last when i went to bed. but i knew i was going nowhere, and it took a while for me to come to my senses, break that urge to keep trying, and just move on. my advice; give the pheros a chance on someone new. just go out and have fun. 2 shots of IFM and 2 shots of [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/), and you’re good to go. who knows, maybe you’re wife to be is out there waiting for you ---
**Author:** ![mstearious\_won](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8edcca/32.png) [@mstearious\_won](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mstearious_won)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 4:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/46 "2008-05-17T16:34:28Z")
> [@Eldros](#): > > Ladies, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think that the action of going on a date matters much. What do you go on a date for? Maybe to get to know each other better, have fun, and prolly to get laid. You can accomplish all that (maybe even better) without going on a ‘date’. I’m not saying that the ‘date’ is the great satan, I’m just say that just because you don’t have luck at dating, that it shouldn’t be a ball buster. Ahhh yes, the purpose of a date. All of what you said is true Eldros, you can indeed experience having fun, gettin laid, getting to know each other better, etc etc without going on an actual date. Happens all the time in this day and age. My opinion? The purpose of the date could possible shed insight as to how men prioritize the aforementioned. But even then, that’s not fail proof as some men with intentions of only getting laid will still take you out on a date(s) if they deem the means justifies the end. I guess it all boils down to prefrences and expectations. Some women just enjoy being courted. ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 5:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/47 "2008-05-17T17:16:26Z")
Some men like counting too. I love an excuse to hit the town, travel, do lunch, get dressed up, etc. Yeah I know some men think it’s a means to an end–they should stay home–but I actually enjoy the ride. And having someone along for the ride you care about makes it fun. ---
**Author:** ![Eldros](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/eldros/32/279_2.png) [@Eldros](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Eldros)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 5:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/48 "2008-05-17T17:23:00Z")
> [@Gegogi](#): > > Some men like counting too. I love an excuse to hit the town, travel, do lunch, get dressed up, etc. Yeah I know some men think it’s a means to an end–they should stay home–but I actually enjoy the ride. And having someone along for the ride you care about makes it fun. I agree. I love going around town with friends and having huge butt loads of teenage-related dicking around. But I doubt I’ll ever go on a ‘date’. ---
**Author:** ![Daedelus76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Daedelus76](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Daedelus76)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 6:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/49 "2008-05-17T18:36:05Z")
> [@Gegogi](#): > > Generally I agree, however some women are attracted to needy men. I’ve known a lot of nurses and noticed they tend to pick losers that need to be taken care of. Some even prefer cripples and blind guys. They enjoy being bossy, mothering and controlling weak minded or dysfunctional men. By “needy” I mean emotionally needy, not physically needy. It’s possible to be disabled and still have a strong will and desire to be emotionally independent. I don’t think that is necessarily unhealthy or all that wierd to be attracted to somebody who needs care. Different people get satisfaction from different things. Some people derive satisfaction from taking care of somebody. Plus, alot of people can look beyond disability and be attracted to people dispite their physical condition. Society often desexualizes the disabled, and this myth is widely accepted, but that doesn’t mean some people can’t be unconventional. ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/50 "2008-05-17T18:42:29Z")
Actually I meant “needy” in all senses of the word: emotional, financial, physical, educational, etc. Although I suspect emotionally needy is the most common and easiest types of guy for these women to victimize and control. ---
**Author:** ![Daedelus76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Daedelus76](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Daedelus76)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 6:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/51 "2008-05-17T18:57:44Z")
> [@Mecca](#): > > That is antiquatied in this world. Not being intimate with your partner is asking for disaster. That really depends on your goals. If you want to have a happy, long relationship with somebody, maybe even marriage, then “fooling around” won’t necessarily achieve that; the statistics are stacked against you, in that case. Long term relationships seem to hinge more on compatability of values and emotional maturity, than any other factor. Not liking somebody in bed isn’t even on the short list. You are correct though that it’s “antiquated” in the modern world, but then not everything about the past was horribly broken. Some things about the sexual revolution haven’t come without a cost. Our society often accepts everything that is new, without putting it to much scrutiny (just an example, but why did razors go from having 2 blades to 5 blades in less than ten years? Were people so horribly disfigured from shaving before? With enough money, people will believe anything). ---
**Author:** ![Phya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@Phya](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phya)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 7:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/52 "2008-05-17T19:14:09Z")
> [@Gegogi](#): > > Although I suspect emotionally needy is the most common and easiest types of guy for these women to victimize and control. Especially since most guys are conditioned to reject ‘emotions’ and rely on logic, we don’t get as much practice working with emotions. But some guys ‘need’ an emotional connection, but don’t know how the hell to go about it, thus opening a window for a much more practiced woman to victimize and control them. ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 7:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/53 "2008-05-17T19:25:39Z")
Probably true in some cultures or subcultures. But all the guys I know are as emotional as hell! Not necessarily the same types of emotions women may display–not too much crying–but I see expressions of anger, vengeance, aggression, lust, jealousy, envy, indignation, admiration, loyalty, affection, etc., in spades. ---
**Author:** ![Phya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@Phya](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phya)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 7:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/54 "2008-05-17T19:30:55Z")
> [@Gegogi](#): > > Probably true in some cultures or subcultures. But all the guys I know are as emotional as hell! Not necessarily the same types of emotions women may display–not too much crying–but I see expressions of anger, vengeance, aggression, lust, jealousy, envy, indignation, admiration, loyalty, affection, etc., in spades. That’s true, I didn’t mean to say guys don’t feel emotions at all, but rather that the focus of the situation is always logic-oriented. I’m angry because this happen which was a result of this happening, etc…and time is spent trying to rectify the situation or complaining about the situation, but little time is spent trying to simply understand the depth of emotion and its fluidity. Not to mention being aware of how enveloping it can be. ---
**Author:** ![Daedelus76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Daedelus76](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Daedelus76)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 8:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/55 "2008-05-17T20:02:24Z")
> [@Phya](#): > > That’s true, I didn’t mean to say guys don’t feel emotions at all, but rather that the focus of the situation is always logic-oriented. I’d agree, alot of men do that. It’s no coincidence that there is more Asperger’s syndrome, autism, and general geekiness/nerdiness in men, than women. We have a much more analytical/rational view of the world and have trouble viewing situations emotionally. Emotional thinking seems to come about only when the logic of a situation escapes us, when things don’t make sense, something unexpected like a tire going flat or an unexpected bill. I’m not sure this is true of women. Some men get more emotional than others, perhaps, because they have more limitations to their logical thinking and don’t “expect the unexpected”? Just conjecture, and obviously there are things that nobody can be prepared for. ---
**Author:** ![Daedelus76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Daedelus76](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Daedelus76)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 8:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/56 "2008-05-17T20:16:58Z")
> [@Phya](#): > > That’s true, I didn’t mean to say guys don’t feel emotions at all, but rather that the focus of the situation is always logic-oriented. Men are more action-oriented and less passive. You can observe that even in infants and children. I believe men are both innately and culturally conditioned to act instead of dwell on things, as a general rule- they have the same emotions as women but different responses. Men display more “actionable” emotions, particularly anger, things that get a process moving and produce another action. ---
**Author:** ![Eldros](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/eldros/32/279_2.png) [@Eldros](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Eldros)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 8:20pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/57 "2008-05-17T20:20:45Z")
> [@Daedelus76](#): > > Men are more action-oriented and less passive. You can observe that even in infants and children. I believe men are both innately and culturally conditioned to act instead of dwell on things, as a general rule- they have the same emotions as women but different responses. Men display more “actionable” emotions, particularly anger, things that get a process moving and produce another action. Actually, nowaday, I think it’s kinda a 70-30 split between extroverts & introverts for both men and women. And some people, again for both men and women, are only extroverts/introverts around certain people. ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 8:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/58 "2008-05-17T20:25:44Z")
Perhaps men are trained to not display emotions which indicate weakness: sadness, fear, grief, depression, etc. Not so easily done but I’m a darn fine actor! Suicide rates are considerably higher among men so holding it in ain’t too healthy (& it’s not just that guys are more skillful at killing themselves). I have an excellent safety value through my music. However some guys have nowhere to put it. As for men tending to display more anger–you’ve not been around too many Korean women have you?! ---
**Author:** ![Eldros](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/eldros/32/279_2.png) [@Eldros](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Eldros)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/59 "2008-05-17T20:27:21Z")
> [@Gegogi](#): > > Perhaps men are trained to not display emotions which indicate weakness: sadness, fear, grief, depression, etc. Not so easily done but I’m a darn fine actor! Suicide rates are considerably higher among men so holding it in ain’t too healthy (& it’s not just that guys are more skillful at killing themselves). I have an excellent safety value through my music. However some guys have nowhere to put it. > > As for men tending to display more anger–you’ve not been around too many Korean women have you?! Too much stress can make your poop not form right 🙂. ---
**Author:** ![zeph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/85e7bf/32.png) [@zeph](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/zeph)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 8:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488/60 "2008-05-17T20:44:02Z")
> [@Eldros](#): > > Too much stress can make your poop not form right 🙂. ROFL. Thats gotta be the most random shit I’ve ever read. 😃 no pun intended [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488.md?page=2) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-escaping-the-friend-zone/12488.md?page=4)