# Need help for a specific scenario **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [January 12, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-for-a-specific-scenario/1532 "2007-01-12T04:51:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Astralmind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astralmind/32/942_2.png) [@Astralmind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astralmind)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-for-a-specific-scenario/1532/1 "2007-01-12T04:51:12Z")
Ok, I need your help for my first order. While I’ve had some very good input in my “Hello” thread, I want to be really specific and see if anyone comes up with the “perfect” solution. I’ve been dating this women (shes 38 and I am 26) for a few months. We’ve been close friends for 2 years. When we both broke up with our significant others (back 3 months ago) we immediatly started to see each other in a .. errmm much more intimate way. Initially looking for sexe and fun, it turned out to build into a much more serious relationship. Things happened to fast I guess, and she completely shutdown, running away saying that she was scared and all (you know, the typical you’re too good for me, I do not deserve you, I’m not ready for this etc…). We are still seeing each other but on much less interesting terms (barely any sex and you can feel a distance). I do know how she feels about me and I am 100 % convinced that she’s holding back because she’s scared. Now… what would be the best mix to help me out there knowing that: - I am a great listener, something she told me herself - I am very good at turning her on - She is not good at sharing her emotions, shes scared of sharing deep thoughts - She hates it when I’m depressed, can’t stand victimized persons, enjoy someone who has a strong character and is sure of himself. Manly and soft a the same time. - Since we are in a tense/weird situation, I’m not feeling at my best, ie, my selfesteem is not all that awesome when I’m around her. I’m not looking to lure her into a longterm relationship through [pheromone](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) use, I’m well aware that its not the idea. However, I do think they could help me feel better/stronger and help her be herself and also add some little spices and sparks for the sexe part. What do you guys think ? ---
**Author:** ![toilofday](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/toilofday/32/371_2.png) [@toilofday](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/toilofday)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 5:14am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-for-a-specific-scenario/1532/2 "2007-01-12T05:14:30Z")
Well, you have an interesting situation. If she is scared and holding back then she is probably holding back a lot of thoughts and feelings. She’s put you in an odd place which is likely to destroy your confidence on the situation. I’d be worried i’m a reboud. I would use instant openness and instant honesty to get her to drop her gaurd and tell you those deep seeded issues that are bothering her. I bought alpha and beta androstenol instead of the former. beta is the deeper side, and alpha is the talkative open side. Instant shine will give you a vibrance and make you feel good, plus make her feel good. Some instant female magic might be in order if you want some action, but it will aslo make her be comfortable around you. I think you would realy benifit from A314 to boost confidece but it would most likely backfire and scare her off because it would make you apear to be of even higher stature. You could try putting a very small amount inside the opening of your nostrals. Such a small amount would most likely not be detectable to anybody but you (1/5 or a drop or so, maybe less. I’d experiment first to make sure you don’t become arogent or throw off stand ofish body language) ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 5:35am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-for-a-specific-scenario/1532/3 "2007-01-12T05:35:10Z")
hey astral! well, i cannot speak for her, but i have posted in another forum about age differences being a huge player in some relationships, and i got HUGE feedback on it. what i learned was that the majority of men found age difference (5-10 yrs) not a big deal. the majority of women were very uncomfortable with it. i made the post because i was being asked out by a guy who was 10 yrs younger. i thought it was a curiousity thing,as alot of women suspect that of the guys who ask them,but the guy persisted through my “no’s”. i can speak for alot for women my age who are very uncomfortable with it (but attracted to the specific guy involved) that age makes us feel like we are automatically entering into a sex only thing. while thats not a bad thing, if we have kids or want a more substancial relationship someday, we wont be counting on a younger guy to stick around. sounds unfair, but very common feeling. your gal probably really likes you and doesnt want it to fizzle out. with that said, [pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) wont fix it, but alot of good sex will buy the time it takes to forge the trust that you will be there. wear Ammo and buy yourself time. ---
**Author:** ![catlord17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@catlord17](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/catlord17)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 5:53am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-for-a-specific-scenario/1532/4 "2007-01-12T05:53:54Z")
[Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/), Liquid Trust, and a heaping dose of open, honest communication. Talk things out with her at a deep, intimate level. Really the pheromones are fluff compared to that. You need to open her up and deal with the situation through communication. I just have found that IH and LT work wonders together for that type of situation. ---
**Author:** ![Chris](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/chris/32/2267_2.png) [@Chris](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Chris)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 6:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-for-a-specific-scenario/1532/5 "2007-01-12T06:44:25Z")
> [@Astralmind](#): > > I’m not looking to lure her into a longterm relationship through pheromone use, I’m well aware that its not the idea. However, I do think they could help me feel better/stronger and help her be herself and also add some little spices and sparks for the sexe part. I might be reading way too much into this, but I’m thinking it’s time for some tough love. Good thing you already pointed out that pheromone use … alone … will not make things better. There’s also the theory about the whole “rebound guy/gal” thang that might have something to say in how your interactions have played out lately. Now, it’s difficult to interpret what made her reorient herself and suddenly hold back on you, but it might be because your self esteem (as you put it yourself) isn’t ‘top notch’ around her, or (and) that her emotional needs after her breakup are not the same as they were immediately after. I won’t tell you to not use pheromones, but I’d advice you to use them to make YOURSELF feel better around women … preferrably in general … maybe get some new input, feel better, make different choices, exude manliness or whatnot. NOT to make HER see sparks or to _sex her up_ around you. Uhm. I’m not trying to put you down here, buddy, but making yourself feel better … whether it is with this woman or not … should be your main goal. Now THAT we can do 😉 I wish you the best of luck on your journey, and please … please … stay, share … and tell us about all your future adventures yet to come 😃 Love, Chris ---
**Author:** ![sigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@sigma](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sigma)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 7:15am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-for-a-specific-scenario/1532/6 "2007-01-12T07:15:07Z")
I say an all around mix…something too comforty and too fluffy could easily keep you as a friend. Even if too much sexual tension will scare her off, without it she would have no reason to see you as any more than a friend. You want her to be comfortable around you, but I think a strong sexual attraction is what’ll tear down her reservations and pull her back on the other side of the fence…but then again I don’t know the girl, so who knows. anyway IH+TUTH+IFM + dash of A314 thats a good route to go. ---
**Author:** ![Astralmind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astralmind/32/942_2.png) [@Astralmind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astralmind)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 12:38pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-for-a-specific-scenario/1532/7 "2007-01-12T12:38:46Z")
Thanks for the numerous replies 🙂 All great input. I was already considering A314 and [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) for my every day use. I’ll add a dash of your other reommendations (Interesting take by Lor, I may end up buying some Ammo after all). As for the whole situation, well outside of the very interesting pheromones world, I am well aware that communication is key. In fact, I’ve always been the talker (as well as a good listener hehe) in my relations before. I don’t want to sound pretentious but I am fairly mature and understanding. Obviously, I cannot brief you guys on the whole detailed situation but as an fyi, her previous boyfriend was my age (and they stayed together for 5 years). My ex (who I’d been with for 10 years !) was 7 years older than me. My best friends, esp when it comes to the opposite sex, are all in their mid 30s. Somehow, I attract and get along much better with that age group than my actual age. And it seems to work both ways too. As I said in my first post, we have known and desired each other for a long time. Since we both were loyal parteners and respected our significant other, we never tried anything prior to both breaking up. We actually work together (yeah… I know, I know..). The past few months we’ve had together were simply amazing. I haven’t had tones of relations before but I can swear that we were both in heaven ! On all levels. Not only strong passionate moments but an overall satisfaction that’s impossible to describe. She is 38 and her longest relation had been with her previous boyfriend (who is a real a\*\*, according to her, and to all her friends and family, typical manipulative guy). Prior to that she hardly was able to maintain a relation for more than a few months. She has that pattern where as soon as she gets around a good guy, she freaks out and run away telling herself that shes not worth it, that she doesnt want “serious” stuff altough we both know that deep down inside, this is exactly was she is craving for. I know it could all be fake (but seriously doubt it) but she said she never felt that way before with someone, she opened herself up quite a bit, shared her fears and all. In the end she is incredibly confused. Bleh… nothing to do at all with the forum here haha.. Sorry guys, just thought I’d add some extra info. ---
**Author:** ![nbully79](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c68b51/32.png) [@nbully79](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/nbully79)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 3:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-for-a-specific-scenario/1532/8 "2007-01-12T15:08:48Z")
> [@Astralmind](#): > > Thanks for the numerous replies 🙂 All great input. I was already considering A314 and Instant Shine for my every day use. I’ll add a dash of your other reommendations (Interesting take by Lor, I may end up buying some Ammo after all). A314 + [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) (or Ammo) during daytime everyday and everytime you are together and IFM occasionally (becuase they tend to get used to it if you use it too often). It is THE mix to keep the girlfriend happy. A314 and IShine gives you the confident social yet high status vibe which no girls can resist. IFM provides extra comfort of closeness and can also give a sexual spin in the right circumstances.