# Need help, my husband has another woman!!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [October 24, 2011, 12:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980 "2011-10-24T12:48:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lizzie-M](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lizzie-m/32/2293_2.png) [@Lizzie-M](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lizzie-M)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/41 "2011-10-29T15:40:43Z")
> [@classicalflower](#): > > I’ve been looking for EST for sometime now (heard lost of positive things about it!) but I can’t seem to find it anywhere! By any chance is it called something different on Liquid Alchemy?! I’m completely baffled by this mysterious product!!! Or am I just missing it! On liquid alchemy its in the ‘unmixed pheromones’ section, but it’s pretty expensive from there. I get it cheaper from a different website at a higher concentration.. i don’t think i’m allowed to say the website, but i found it by typing in ‘estratetraenol single molecule’ into google, and ignoring the first website result 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![classicalflower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@classicalflower](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/classicalflower)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 4:20pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/42 "2011-10-29T16:20:57Z")
> [@Lizzie-M](#): > > On liquid alchemy its in the ‘unmixed pheromones’ section, but it’s pretty expensive from there. I get it cheaper from a different website at a higher concentration.. i don’t think i’m allowed to say the website, but i found it by typing in ‘estratetraenol single molecule’ into google, and ignoring the first website result 🙂 LOL… Found it! Cheers! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AllieCat](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/alliecat/32/345_2.png) [@AllieCat](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/AllieCat)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 10:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/43 "2011-10-29T22:11:09Z")
Hope, I’ve been where you are. Husband went alien, and now a few years later, we’ve hit another hurdle (remnants of the alien adventure). As a result, back to hard core use of what pheromones I used to attract him back the first time. I also suggest that there’s some good books out there to help you with the psychology of a cheating spouse… pm me and I’ll send you the links. (I’m out tonight, but will try to respond to’row. ---
**Author:** ![Warren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/97f17d/32.png) [@Warren](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Warren)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 5:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/44 "2011-11-03T05:01:49Z")
Dear Ihope, Your situation reminds me of many posts on this forum by someone who has broken up with his or her boy/girlfiend and now wants them back. I realize your situation is a little more complex, but somehow the two of you made choices (consciously or otherwise) that resulted in your becoming estranged. I believe that in such a situation it is wise to first ask whether you truly want your husband’s love back and will you be happy if/when you get it? > [@](#): > > I often think that maybe its better if I find somebody else. But I am scared. Of being alone, of being dissapointed again, scared that I would not be able to fall in love… Of course, fear of being alone is not a good reason for trying to be in love. Even if you won your husband back, your lack of confidence (perhaps manafesting itself as being clingy or desperate) would eventually erode the passion. From what you’ve written: > [@](#): > > What he wants? Me to mind my buisness, take care of the children, and do not ask him questions..at some point he even told me to live MY life, and let HIM live his life…Its the children that keep him…Even if he has any ideas, he will not tell me…All he sais, everything is fine…I asked him, maybe I should just find a good friend on the side, who will fulfill my needs, and come home every day.His answer…when you will be divorced you can do that. It sounds like he has already decided to divorce you and is just waiting for the right time, perhaps when the kids are older. That doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. He is still physically present and capable of being influenced. It doesn’t seem that your competition is particularly awesome compared to yourself. But I think this could be a long slow process. > [@](#): > > " Marriage is not about control, or at least it shouldn’t be." > KEY WORD-CONTROL!!! > This is the mistake a made!!! This is a very important awareness. We get into the habit of doing things which are controlling without realizing it. Your husband may experience it as your being critical, intrusive, judgemental. That makes it impossible for him to open up to you. He just wants to shove you away. I think the greatest risk is that once the pheromones start to work, you’ll react to insecurity by trying to control him again. > [@](#): > > She gave him complete admiration, did not expect anything from him. Meaning, she would be his slave, would do ABSOLUTELY anything he wanted. He liked it, beng the King of the World. You refer to her as a “slave”. Unless there’s another “secret kink” that’s yet to be acknowledged, I doubt she sees herself as a slave. It’s your _control_ paradigm slipping in again. A slave is someone who is controlled. Calling her a slave seems to imply that unless you are controlling him, you feel like a slave. All this discussion about other women, whether he is really sleeping with someone, whether he is lying – even the trying to get him into therapy – is controlling. The best you can do is to be grateful for the other women. If there weren’t other women when you were away for six years, he would have almost certainly had a divorce granted and probably left with your kids. If there weren’t other women available to him now, he wouldn’t have a choice. Unless he has a true choice you cannot genuinely win him back. Would you really rather be competing against a fantasy? And, oh yeah… Be glad he got the threesome thing outta his system. In real life, those arrangements are never as good as the fantasy. Aghor is right when he says - > [@](#): > > and he may find it easier to comeback pretending that nothing happened rather than a confession on knees.. You cannot force him to love you. Neither can a therapist. Nor can you guilt-trip him into loving you. That only builds resentment. If your relationship is truly working, no other woman can be a threat. If your marriage is not working, there _ **are** _ going to be other women, real or imagined – not that it should even really matter, at that point. Let go of the suspiciousness. If you win that game, you lose. I agree with Tisha and others about IH. You proabably want the double strength. I would add the [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) very gradually. It tends to diminish personal distance. That’s why your little boy was glued to you. But you don’t want to sneek up on your husband too quickly, as he is still accustomed to building walls – let him adjust gradually. Tisha is more experienced at judging between ISa and ISb than I am, so the ISb she recommends is probably right for you. Nevertheless, don’t give up on ISa. It is sometimes compared to A314, but for women. It builds confidence, which may diminish your yearning to control. Since you’ve been depressed, P78 might be worth a try, when you’re ready to try a putative. It is very cheerful! Good luck and do please let us know what happens! ---
**Author:** ![tho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de053/32.png) [@tho](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tho)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/45 "2011-11-03T20:46:54Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > I’m more inclined to suggest you test a selection of these fine instruments on the scumbag: > > [http://www.bridgat.com/files/Veterinary\_Instruments.jpg](http://www.bridgat.com/files/Veterinary_Instruments.jpg) > > 🙂 I find this offensive! That is sick and disgusting! Go on www(dot)Bestgore(dot)com and see men having their testicles removed you won’t find it so funny! Male genitalia mutilation is not funny. ---
**Author:** ![Sarafina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Sarafina](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sarafina)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/46 "2011-11-03T20:49:27Z")
why are you on the woman’s part of the board anyway? ---
**Author:** ![tho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de053/32.png) [@tho](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tho)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/47 "2011-11-03T21:22:18Z")
> [@Sarafina](#): > > why are you on the woman’s part of the board anyway? I’m searching for women’s opinion on a simple spray of AMMO. I’d like to know what goes on in their heads when they are in the presence of it. ---
**Author:** ![Cindy11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Cindy11](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Cindy11)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/48 "2011-11-18T14:21:06Z")
So sorry you’re going through this. I know a couple who is going through something similar. The husband fools around on the side with women who are willing to engage in really kinky sex that most women wouldn’t practice on a regular basis. He has this one regular girlfriend, and is always on the prowl searching for new women to sleep with and he even gets his regular girlfriend to sleep with these new women as well. There are so many easy women with low morals who like being with married men, so it’s easy for a man who wants to cheat to find something on the side. The wife thinks that he changed over the years, but he was always this way. He started practicing these sexual habits since he was around 17. He showed his wife the side of him that he wanted her to see, and went outside his marriage to do these things as soon as he got bored of the “vanilla sex” as he calls it. The boredom was not his wife’s fault. He chose to marry a woman who wasn’t interested in the type of sex that really turns him on. He respected her for that, but now he blames her for not being interested in what he likes sexually. You want to save your marriage and that’s good for you. I just think that one day you will get tired of all the issues, but you may have lost too much by the time that happens. So please get some counseling for yourself. Have your husband pay for the couseling. Your husband left the marriage as soon as he cheated on you. His heart is not in it a 100%, and it sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. You are still young and have so much ahead of you. Life is short and you have to enjoy it. At this point, you have the upper hand in your marriage. Try to get proof of your husband’s unfaithfulness, like pictures with the other woman, because it will all help you in court later on if you deside you want a divorce. I would take his atm card from him so that there will be a record on the credit card statements if he ever goes to hotels or spends money on that woman. You should also interview the best lawyers in your area, just so that he won’t be able to hire them later on. I know this is not what you want to hear but it will help to prepare you in case you ever want to leave him, and please, please, get counseling for yourself. In my experience, there have been very few pheromones that ever worked on my husband. I think the one that works the best on him is p78. He gets all googly eyed and everything around me when I wear it. Good luck to you and keep us updated. ---
**Author:** ![Sarafina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Sarafina](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sarafina)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/49 "2011-11-18T16:01:06Z")
> [@Cindy11](#): > > . The wife thinks that he changed over the years, but he was always this way. He started practicing these sexual habits since he was around 17. He showed his wife the side of him that he wanted her to see, and went outside his marriage to do these things as soon as he got bored of the “vanilla sex” as he calls it. The boredom was not his wife’s fault. He chose to marry a woman who wasn’t interested in the type of sex that really turns him on. He respected her for that, but now he blames her for not being interested in what he likes sexually. > . Sounds like Madonna-Whore complex to me and men tend to show the traits but women ignore it. ---
**Author:** ![2000GT](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/2000gt/32/389_2.png) [@2000GT](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/2000GT)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 11:00pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/50 "2011-11-19T23:00:31Z")
> [@Sarafina](#): > > why are you on the woman’s part of the board anyway? The same reason why folks like Xev, Astrea and Tish (to name but a few) pop into the men’s section. Curiosity 🙂 My thoughts on the OP’s situation: Obviously it’s your call if you want to try and bring him back but the simple fact is that the trust between the two of you has been broken and that’s a very serious issue. Personally I don’t think pheros are really the answer. Maybe they might help for a bit but what’s to say that this wouldn’t happen again down the road? Just something to keep in mind. But regardless, I wish nothing but the best for you and hope that everything works out, however that may be, for the best 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Pythia](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/pythia/32/222_2.png) [@Pythia](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Pythia)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 1:10am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/51 "2011-11-20T01:10:32Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > I’m more inclined to suggest you test a selection of these fine instruments on the scumbag: > > [http://www.bridgat.com/files/Veterinary\_Instruments.jpg](http://www.bridgat.com/files/Veterinary_Instruments.jpg) > > 🙂 Yes, these would also be MY choice! ---
**Author:** ![Sarafina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Sarafina](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sarafina)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 6:22am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/52 "2011-11-21T06:22:27Z")
> [@](#): > > The same reason why folks like Xev, Astrea and Tish (to name but a few) pop into the men’s section. Curiosity Well since Im not and will never be on that list, I can ask. ---
**Author:** ![Butterfly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/butterfly/32/1942_2.png) [@Butterfly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/53 "2011-11-21T19:57:45Z")
There is no strict sex segregation, just that men be respectful in the women’s section and vice versa. ---
**Author:** ![Pythia](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/pythia/32/222_2.png) [@Pythia](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Pythia)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 11:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/54 "2011-11-21T23:03:24Z")
> [@AllieCat](#): > > Hope, I’ve been where you are. Husband went alien, and now a few years later, we’ve hit another hurdle (remnants of the alien adventure). As a result, back to hard core use of what pheromones I used to attract him back the first time. > > I also suggest that there’s some good books out there to help you with the psychology of a cheating spouse… pm me and I’ll send you the links. (I’m out tonight, but will try to respond to’row. There’s a w/s called. I think, “liftedhearts.” It’s about the psychological efects of NOT clinging, if you want your man back. There are stories about how women got their men back, as well. ---
**Author:** ![Pythia](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/pythia/32/222_2.png) [@Pythia](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Pythia)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 11:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980/55 "2011-11-21T23:08:42Z")
> [@ballzan](#): > > I agree with you, why work to get him to notice you again, just find another guy and do the same again and chances are he will start paying attention to you more. Actually, that worked for the new Brit princess. Will dumped her. She said, “OK, you’re prolly right,” and then began being seen with cute guys EVERYWHERE. He came running back, and proposed. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-help-my-husband-has-another-woman/52980.md?page=2)