# Need some help starting out please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [March 3, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-some-help-starting-out-please/26680 "2009-03-03T01:00:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jattsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5ac83/32.png) [@jattsmom](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jattsmom)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-some-help-starting-out-please/26680/1 "2009-03-03T01:00:23Z")
OK I am new here and jusr recieved my first purchase. I am a little unsure of how to proceed from here as I find myself in a precarious situation. I have an ex that I don’t see very often and he will be here the rest of the week from out of the country. Of course we have been talking back and forth a bit for the last few days making arrangements and he has indicated that he wants to spend time with me. Needless to say I not only want to spend time with him but also want to attempt to try and put us back on the right track. I have instant openess, [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/), Instant Shine, Insstant Sexiness both A&B, and Turn up the Heat (even if this doesnt work out with him I wanted to experiment so I wanted to be sure to have a variety to play with starting out). I really want to promote an open conversation with him and see where that leads so I’m thinking the Instant Honesty maybe with the Instant Shine and then if things progress well from there maybe the instant sexiness or turn up the heat. Help as you can see I’m really a little confused as to how to proceed from here. My personality is generally pretty agressive so I definately need the A version of insant sexiness but there are so many options I’m now a little unsure of what to do. Now I realize that nothing is a magic potion and hey this might really be a waste of time in the end but I really want to test out my new pheremones and see where it leads. Any suggestions? Also can anyone help me with what can be mixed with what and maybe forwarn me what i should NOT mix together at all? I have been reading a few threads but i’m still learning how to navigate this site so I tend to get a little confused when seeking information. ---
**Author:** ![CookieGirl](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/cookiegirl/32/1379_2.png) [@CookieGirl](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/CookieGirl)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 1:13am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-some-help-starting-out-please/26680/2 "2009-03-03T01:13:44Z")
Peekaboo jattsmom~ I DO remember you from the intro section. Glad to see you again 🙂 Now remember, its hard to know **exactly** what each product is going to do for you - wether its what you want or not. Have you tried each bottle alone yet, to see what your “sweet spot” may be ? How much time do you have to test this out alone ? How does your ex respond to your natural aggressiveness ? Is it something he likes or dislikes ? I think this may be the key to deciding wether to use A or B. B softens that little aggressive aspect of you, down. So it’s something think about since you know your ex’s tastes better than us. It’s never a good idea to go mixing the sprays before you understand quite abit about each one. It’s better to use each to see how you and others react to them. However, I do personally like [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) for conversation, specifically when used with those close to you. I do hear its a popular choice among skeptics since it’s hits tend to be more obvious than the rest. It may be alittle too early for Turn up the Heat 😛 I would think this is used in a more… heavy and sexual atmosphere - not the kind that you’re in when you’re meeting someone again for the first time. So do tell ! Have you used any alone, and what were some effects ? ---
**Author:** ![jattsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5ac83/32.png) [@jattsmom](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jattsmom)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-some-help-starting-out-please/26680/3 "2009-03-03T01:22:57Z")
OK I haven’t quite gotten the hang of how to reply to the responses that I get when I ask questions yet so I hope I’m doing this right. lol! Ok I JUST got my package in the mail today so no I haven’t gotten a chance to try anything out yet so I’m really flying blind here. You made a really good point that I didn’t think about though; my agressiveness tends to make him a little nuts at times so thank goodness I have the B version of [Instant Sexiness](https://phera.com/product/instant-sexiness/) to maybe soften things up a bit for a change. He is a very dominant person as am I which is what ultimately led to alot of the arguments that caused us to split. My goal right now is to first put him in a frame of mind where he is even willing to discuss our relatinship which is something he NEVER does willingly, have a nice deep conversation from there even if I have to hear a few things I may not want to, and last but not least make an impression that will gain his curiousity and cause him to want to continue to dig a littel deeper you now what I mean? Your’e really helping to alleviate my confusion so please keep the advice coming I promise I will report what happens at the end of the week lol! ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 5:59am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-some-help-starting-out-please/26680/4 "2009-03-03T05:59:41Z")
this might be more confusing than not, so disregard if it doesnt feel right 🙂 my take on the instant sexinesses … many women here stick with the sexiness that is the opposite of how they are- either they want to soften up or they want to be more confident. this is sometimes something i do as well. i also know that as someone who is aggressively social, [instant sexiness](https://phera.com/product/instant-sexiness/) A is more of how i naturally am but when i wear it, i send the _signal_ to my significant other that _its acceptable for me to be this way._ its not about self-effects. wearing the confident one also tells others you are the confident sexxay one, and in this way your personality is more digestable. i remember when my SO and i were broken up after 2 years apart, i had to see him to bury my dad, 1500 miles away where he then lived. when i left, he wrote me letters telling me he could smell me everywhere. that was IS/A . not that IS/A is responsible, but we are back together. so i guess what i am saying is that if you are naturally dominant, and you go out of your way to appear differently, then when you are yourself again he will have to deal with it. _easier to just be you_. the instant sexiness a and b are social as well as sexxay. im not sure you can go wrong wearing either of those 😉 shine is a feelgood mix, putting the spotlight on you in a social way, but im getting the feeling you want the attention in a more personal way. im voting for instant sexxiness 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sillykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sillykitty/32/1574_2.png) [@Sillykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Sillykitty)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 7:38am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-some-help-starting-out-please/26680/5 "2009-03-03T07:38:41Z")
I totally agree with Lor, Instant Sexiness A is the place to start. Try different amounts of sprays for a couple of days to see how it works for you and in what amount. Once you have a handle on that, try [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) in the same way. After you have a better idea of how they work for you, then try them in pairs (I am learning that I like to use Instant Sexiness A kind of as a “base” for the others). ---
**Author:** ![happykitsune](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/happykitsune/32/2415_2.png) [@happykitsune](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/happykitsune)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 10:50pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/need-some-help-starting-out-please/26680/6 "2009-03-03T22:50:19Z")
I’m not agreeing with wearing IS/a. A lot of girls here who are dominant (including myself) have reported it having unwanted or no effects. I myself get irritated from the use of IS/a and the guy you’ll be seeing could see you as intimidating and unapproachable because your adding on to the dominance and aggression you already have. Lighten yourself up with some IS/b and [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/). Those will make you seem both sexy and fun to be around. Use TUTH for later on in the night when you wanna spark something, but don’t use more then a squirt or it will irritate the hell out of you lol. IO is good for getting conversations started and IH is great for making the conversation long and meaningful. Hope this helps. MX135 would have been amazing to try as well, but your just starting so enjoy what you have so far 🙂