# Newbie seeking a lil help....purleaseeeee **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [March 17, 2007, 6:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555 "2007-03-17T18:30:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![slykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/slykitty/32/1443_2.png) [@slykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/slykitty)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 6:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/1 "2007-03-17T18:30:08Z")
Hi there ladies, i have been reading through your posts for the last couple of days with increasing interest and hope to place my first order at the end of the month, but was just wondering if you had any suggestions? I am 29 and in a stable relationship for the last year however things are a lil dull at times, he seems to prefer me making all the moves sexually wise. i am hoping to use some of the products which could help turn up his fire and his atrractidness to me so that he is more the one initiating our encounters. This is going to sound strange but he is more the sort of guy who will come in rest his head in my lap and fall asleep! if i initiate things then he is definately up to the challenge (no pun intended!) but if i dont then i go to bed a very frustrated woman! I haven’t a clue where to start 😕 Oh did i mention that he is the extreme of the word workaholic? so i do forgive him for sleeping, jsut sometimes i wouldnt mind some male undevided attention in more ways than one 😉 Please help, thank u ---
**Author:** ![Carrie](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/carrie/32/1537_2.png) [@Carrie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Carrie)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/2 "2007-03-17T19:14:39Z")
Copulins, my girl. If he’s rousable, that oughta do it. See the “Newbie with a few questions” sticky at the top of the women’s forum … all about copulins and how to apply, how to cover, what they do, etc. It’s worth a shot. Have you tried talking to him about this, though? That’s worth a try too. It could be that he’s just not the type to initiate, for whatever reason. I’ve known one or two of those. Maybe you could slip some testosterone in his smoothie, lol (j/k). ---
**Author:** ![Nunya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ac8455/32.png) [@Nunya](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Nunya)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/3 "2007-03-17T19:31:29Z")
i’m prolly totally evil for suggesting this, but i think what you should do is definitely use cops as carrie said. however, i would wear them, and then ignore him. a little unavailability works wonders. you might also try edge gel. i’ve had fun with this one. ---
**Author:** ![slykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/slykitty/32/1443_2.png) [@slykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/slykitty)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 7:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/4 "2007-03-17T19:44:48Z")
haha! i like the ignoring suggestion! might give that a try! Yes Carrie, he has actually said that he likes when i make the moves, but it is confusing to me becuase there are times when i make a move and he is jsut too tired to oblige at that time. I have been reading up on the cops thingy but am still a little confused, cops are in products like [instant sexiness](https://phera.com/product/instant-sexiness/) if i am reading right. I want to go for something that perhaps gives him a warm feeling when around me also, gosh maybe i am asking too much! ---
**Author:** ![Carrie](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/carrie/32/1537_2.png) [@Carrie](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Carrie)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 8:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/5 "2007-03-17T20:22:31Z")
[Instant Sexiness](https://phera.com/product/instant-sexiness/) does have cops but most of us prefer to use stronger cops than it comes with … you can order it customized (takes longer to ship) with extra cops, like x5 or x8 or x20 … or you can get EoW from Lovescent for 20 bucks and use as Ail describes … or you can get LAM with or without extra cops … see the poll about our favorite cops products for some of the many copulins options available. > [@Your favorite copulins products, Androtics and other](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/your-favorite-copulins-products-androtics-and-other/189781): > > While we wait so patiently ::drums fingers:: for the Androtics new-and-improved pure cops elixir to appear on the store shelves, I’d like to take a little survey about which currently available cops products you’re liking the most right now. I’ve included things available elsewhere because several of us use them … and please let me know if I’ve left something out that you like! ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 8:55pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/6 "2007-03-17T20:55:10Z")
im going to take more of what you said into account here. im going to suggest [instant sexiness](https://phera.com/product/instant-sexiness/) A with cops X6 . first, the TAL in the instant sexiness is going to help you WANT to initiate, just incase his not-initiating is a mental thing. the cops in the mix are going to up his testo ,which not only turns him on, but make him _want_ to be the agressor. id also consider something chocolate (not just chocolate-tasting but something with real high cocao ) because then you get the caffeine buzz that helps keep him up a bit, without asking him to have a cup of coffee 😉 im going for the seratonin lift, a feel-good reason to stay up a little while longer… anything high in anol may help him want to sleep more,lol, so i wouldnt think IO or IH unless you added IH to a wide-awake situation, and then it would “get to the bottom of things” as far as anything on his mind. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![slykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/slykitty/32/1443_2.png) [@slykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/slykitty)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 9:24pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/7 "2007-03-17T21:24:27Z")
oh thank ou so much for your advice gilrs, i need all the help i can get!! was wondering about this lust after me one, as i dont see it in the shop i s it available, does anyone know what it does 😕 Girls, with all these pheremones, has any of you tested them on a familiar subject, i mean yes it is gonna be fun and i might look into something to make a few heads turn when we are out to test the effects more publicly but what i mean is, i wouldnt want to have to spray everytime i am with him or i might end up thinking it is the spraying why he is with me alone 😃 has anyone had any long term feedback form the guys that are targeted, i.e like “i dunno what came over me” or “you have been on my mind since yesterday/last week” etc 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/8 "2007-03-17T21:27:06Z")
LAM is great. i have it,its nice. i highly recommend HOWEVER that you get it stronger and in chocolatini. like order it 8Xcops. its a mixture of copulins and anol. great product. ---
**Author:** ![slykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/slykitty/32/1443_2.png) [@slykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/slykitty)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/9 "2007-03-17T21:47:41Z")
ohh excellent so so far on my list i have [instant sexiness](https://phera.com/product/instant-sexiness/) as well as lust after me, gosh i cant wait to order, we normally spend the weekend together so i will have 3 days to experiment at the end of the month ---
**Author:** ![HotMama](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/hotmama/32/1786_2.png) [@HotMama](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/HotMama)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 12:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/10 "2007-03-18T00:29:49Z")
Helloooo Kitty!! Welcome! I wanted to mention a couple of things.. First, you probably have discussed with you beau about this initiating thing.. Like, does he know that you would really like for this to change? I know this can be a sticky subject to bring up, but it might be a good thing to know WHY he likes you to initiate. Is it because he enjoys a more aggressive woman, or is he afraid to be turned down by you in case you’re not interested at the moment? Or is it some other reason? The reason I am asking this is because in my own relationship, the latter was a problem, and now my husband very rarely initiates anything.. Basically, he told me in not so many words that if I am interested, I should just let him know, so he doesn’t feel like all his efforts are wasted. Of course, now, things are slightly different now that I’ve been using these products.. I highly recommend I/Sexiness, and I really like LAM as well. I have both versions of I/Sexi, and I actually feel arousal when I wear I/Sexi B, espessially together with LAM.. I have I/Sexi B in coconut flavor, and I like that for the night time flirty mood. But, I like LAM much better than EoW because of its effects on me. EoW doesn’t really seem to work for me as well as for some people on the forum who literally wouldn’t be without it. I am also sort of a newbie (only 2 months here), so I am learning every day. But, I think communicating with him as to the WHY is just as important as trying other means to figure this out! Plus, finding it out can also help you to fine tune some of the [pheromone products](https://a314.com/shop/) in the future.. Good luck, and let us know what you end up ordering. I would also call Jasmin and talk to her directly so she can help you with your exact copulin concentrations. HM ---
**Author:** ![EnchantedApril](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/enchantedapril/32/2385_2.png) [@EnchantedApril](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/EnchantedApril)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 4:09am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/11 "2007-03-18T04:09:08Z")
In addition to cops, I’ll mention the need for SEXY CLOTHES in your life to augment the Phermones. It helps YOU (and men ARE visually stimulated, so TRUST ME, this will move him as well and MOVING things in him will help him WANT and NEED to aggress/initiate) feel YOUR vavamoomness and vavaVOMIEST! Wear fab bras and lacey bits thongs. Even Wal\*Mart has them now. Be sure he SEES you getting dressed in the morning when you simply have NO TIME for naughtiness now. Oh, keep your hands off! (tee hee. tee hee.) Oh really, I HAVE to go to work/school! Bend over, let him get an eyeful of front and back while you simply have to shimmy and wiggle cutely to get into your darling jeans. HEELS! Pushed our butts into IT’S BEST display angle while giving you and adorable walk. Fitted tops. Lycra. Spandex touches make it body conscious. Open V Necks. Undo MANY top buttons. Femmy colors in the tops with your jeans or a SKIRT or dress. PINK. RED (a SEX color). Lilac. Lavender. Lemon Yellow. Aqua. Peach. Colors men would be embarrassed to be seen in YOU wear to make the contrast with him accentuated. THAT contrast (Vive La Difference!) between the sexes is what contributes to CHEMISTRY! Lotion, lotion, lotion your soft feminine skin. Cream you hands so he feels the contrast when he holds your hand. Paint your nails even if you only wear Nailtique clear on them. Soft pink. Reds. Femmy colors = Sexual Contrast, more things to contrast with him to be fascinated by IN YOU! Make sure he has to help you with a few things each week. This helps him to FEEL masculine and can enhance his testosterone which gets his Mr. Initiator behaviour going. And then add Cops, Cops, Cops and he’ll be ALL OVER YOU! April ---
**Author:** ![EnchantedApril](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/enchantedapril/32/2385_2.png) [@EnchantedApril](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/EnchantedApril)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 4:12am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/12 "2007-03-18T04:12:18Z")
In conjunction with what HotMama said, wearing the sexy lingerie and clothes is like dropping your hankie, an indicator of YOUR receptivity to him. When you are not in the mood, wear baggie grey sweats to bed or an oversized TShirt. When you ARE interested, sleep in the raw or in some naughty bits nightgowns. ALL women should have some naughty bits nighties! Be sure to wear some cops THERE as well. He might just wake up UP for something in the middle of the night! And wouldn’t THAT be lovely! April ---
**Author:** ![slykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/slykitty/32/1443_2.png) [@slykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/slykitty)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 1:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/13 "2007-03-18T13:18:55Z")
yes i have tried having the conversation about this with him, he is a strange charecter, you see although we were “seeing each other” early last year i helped him through some difficult times we would talk about any and everything, now taht we are “together” i have noticed that we still talk about any and everything execpt US!! Trying to get him to talk about our relationship is like pulling teeth! Dont get me wrong we are very close and i tried to have this convo the other day nad he said that is how he is, he likes it when i initiate and he is more than happy to oblige, so i joked and said i wonder what would happen if i didnt initiate, he asked me if i wanted to take the risk and find out..hmmmmm.. On the flip side i notice that he certainly rises to the occassion in the mornings when i am more or less asleep he will then initiate with me…leads me to thinking that perhaps it is a confidence and rejection issue. Actually now that i think about it deeper i perhaps can understand why, last year when him and his ex were together he wanted some and she didnt so he done the maly thing and sort of pesterd her until she gave in she then turned around a year later saying that he forced her… i guess he needs to work on his confidence and hopefully some of those COPS will help!! ---
**Author:** ![slykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/slykitty/32/1443_2.png) [@slykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/slykitty)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 1:24pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/14 "2007-03-18T13:24:07Z")
> [@EnchantedApril](#): > > In conjunction with what HotMama said, wearing the sexy lingerie and clothes is like dropping your hankie, an indicator of YOUR receptivity to him. When you are not in the mood, wear baggie grey sweats to bed or an oversized TShirt. When you ARE interested, sleep in the raw or in some naughty bits nightgowns. ALL women should have some naughty bits nighties! Be sure to wear some cops THERE as well. He might just wake up UP for something in the middle of the night! And wouldn’t THAT be lovely! > > April Oh yes i definately have a few sexy numbers in my closet including one which he brought me for xmas, i noticed he seems to have this thing about red:o will get it out once i have finished writting my shopping list! oh dear, looks like it is going to be a long one was thinking of trying to figure out a signature scent with all of this too and recently fell in love with Coco Chanel, my aim is to get my hand on some [pheromones](https://a314.com/) for different scenarios, like when he closes up, when i want a little action, when i want some attention and for when he is stressed and some how blend them with my signature fragrance, i cant really share this with him outright as i know he won believe in it ---
**Author:** ![EnchantedApril](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/enchantedapril/32/2385_2.png) [@EnchantedApril](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/EnchantedApril)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/15 "2007-03-18T18:13:53Z")
Yup, Red is a HIGH attraction/sex color. Pink/Peach are softer day versions or when you are feeling softer. Red nighties just scream, I’m available for sex tonight and am VERY interested. Indicating receptivity without actually bringing up the topic, which is a more feminine communication behaviour than a masculine one (ah, can’t I just watch the football game?), let’s him save face if he is too tired etc. because you haven’t DIRECTLY asked for sex. So, if he can’t tonight/right now, he doesn’t advance and no losing of face as a MAN. Nor does he feel like a bad little boy to have let you down. However, do feel free to initiate SOMETIMES cause spice and variety is ALWAYS a good thing! And talking about everything. I am very clear for instance with my late husband, we were VERY VERY close. We were indeed actually friends before dating, although I always knew he had a thing for me. But, I was not his buddy, if using that word can convey the difference of topics and tone of behavior that I am trying to articulate. I was not JUST like a guy to him but with boobs. (cool!) We were very close, but I was ALWAYS a woman. So, let us say, details of my menstrual life were NEVER discussed. Knew I was and when. Knew I was more emotional then and had cramps, but DETAILS were NOT discussed. Hope that helps. Cause maintaining that level of difference is something that contributes to CHEMISTRY and sustaining it over time sans becoming complacent and too fuzzy slippers where you both stop making An Effort about your life together and being attractive for each other. Enjoy! April ---
**Author:** ![Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gone_with_the_wind/32/2227_2.png) [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gone_with_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/16 "2007-03-18T18:51:28Z")
> [@slykitty](#): > > Actually now that i think about it deeper i perhaps can understand why, last year when him and his ex were together he wanted some and she didnt so he done the maly thing and sort of pesterd her until she gave in she then turned around a year later saying that he forced her… i guess he needs to work on his confidence and hopefully some of those COPS will help!! Dear Ms. Slykitty, [edit - communication effected. Previous details now omitted.] Peace be with you both. ---
**Author:** ![slykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/slykitty/32/1443_2.png) [@slykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/slykitty)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/17 "2007-03-18T20:39:19Z")
> [@EnchantedApril](#): > > We were very close, but I was ALWAYS a woman. So, let us say, details of my menstrual life were NEVER discussed. Knew I was and when. Knew I was more emotional then and had cramps, but DETAILS were NOT discussed. > April hmmm ,yes i can understand that philosophy, the only problem with him, no matter how much you try to keep your distance (mystery wise) he is the sort of guy who will probe you until you give him the details of your every being, failing that he sulks literally! he sometimes strikes me as a little feminine in nature and other times unreasonably male 🙄 having said that he is one who offers alot of information not really a closed guy, if something is really bugging him he will call and vent failing that give him a day or two and he spills with no pressure from me, i say we have a pretty good relationship. He is the sort of guy for instance when we see each other (most weekends) he will come in, give me a kiss, have something to eat and then snuggle up in my lap until he falls asleep he likes alot of affection vs sexuality and then on the other hand when he is sexual he is quite rough where as i perhaps would want to recieve some of that affection for a change…haha a woman…never satisfied 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![slykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/slykitty/32/1443_2.png) [@slykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/slykitty)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/18 "2007-03-18T20:47:12Z")
Gone with the Wind…sorry to hear about your experience, my bf’s wasnt so traumatic, well on the outside anyways. You see in our culture it is not uncommon if a man says no for him to use some gentle persuasion tactics and then the woman will change her mind for some peace and quiet for the night! However due to arguments after breakups, this was turned back and flung in his face…i know he took it to heart as he is not that sort of a person to forceably try to hit on someone gf or not, i guess with me, he is maybe scared that i will say no one day so prefers me to show signs of interest. I have to laugh actually, cuase i notice his tactics the last weekend…i was laying on his chest falling asleep and he sort of made very slight shifts in his body until my lips were paralell with his nipples (his favourite area) so i sort of mumbled half asleep but purposefully brushing my lips across them to see if there was a sexual interest and low and behold a few more shifts in body and a few mumbles later, he finally reached over to me and then…BINGO! haha Just wish i was the one having the waters tested on every once in a while except in the wee hours of the morning when there is little chance of me rejecting him when i am half asleep!..hmmm ---
**Author:** ![EnchantedApril](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/enchantedapril/32/2385_2.png) [@EnchantedApril](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/EnchantedApril)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 8:51pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/19 "2007-03-18T20:51:58Z")
Ah yes, we ARE women! So, hmmm, does he still actually sort of ask you for dates? I know it’s a little challenging once you’ve gotten into the come over to my place and snuggle for the night mode that it is very hard to reshift the relationship to where he is appreciating/valuing you by taking you OUT a few times. Here he might need DEFINITE suggestions. Go out for walks. Walk by the classic local movie theatre and ADMIRE the movies there, “Oh, wouldn’t it be fun to go sometime?” If/when he agrees, suggest, “Oh, it would be GREAT to go (specific date/time) next Saturday at 7.” In a way Want and Ask. Then let him say yes or no. These are just additional behaviors that can encourage him in the masculinity/leading arena. Of course, so will the cops! 😃 😃 😃 April ---
**Author:** ![slykitty](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/slykitty/32/1443_2.png) [@slykitty](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/slykitty)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 8:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555/20 "2007-03-18T20:57:34Z")
Haha, yes i really think you have understood my relationship very well…because we were “friends” + bedroom activity first, our weekends became longer but we never done anything together…then came the conjoined food shopping..(yippee) so then i started thinking, hangin on we done the friend thing, we done the sex thing, let’s rewind and do the dates! haha so at least once a month i suggest we go to the movies or something like that and actually he has started suggesting things like “do you want to go cinema” or “lets go out and do something” gosh he is the sweetest man on earth!! Oh i was thinking, any recommendations on ISA or ISB cannot seem to find the difference? [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/newbie-seeking-a-lil-help-purleaseeeee/2555.md?page=2)