# Night\_Hawk's Pheremone Journal **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Journals\ **Created:** [December 2, 2010, 4:05pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688 "2010-12-02T16:05:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 7:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/303 "2017-01-05T07:19:49Z")
Same mix as above applied. Shift was pretty good until the stalker walked on. OMG, 1x spray of TUTH may have been a bad idea, with her around! So glad it wasn’t the ‘voodoo’ mix variation with 5x sprays of TUTH (plus other mones), would of been a nightmare. Actually it was a nightmare anyhow, she’s too darn touchy feely, but she didn’t just flirt with me. Out of sight, she was doing it towards one of the managers as well!! Only with me, when she was getting close to my neck, she was clearly getting a hit of the mones, as she kept grabbing me and trying to hug me and rest her head on the back of my neck to tell me she “Loves me!” Erm, no thanks. Not after everything you’re done. Not to mention, each and every time I see you, my head does the full memory recall and starts playing it back in the air in front of me. Had to repeatedly tell her that I didn’t want to go out with her, I don’t. Actually, at one point, in front of the staff I said, “‘D’, the only way I’d go out with you is if you dyed your hair black and painted you eyes green!” She didn’t get it, but the rest of the staff around did, when they started smiling and laughing - I was referring to ‘X’! A couple even told me later on before I went home, how they thought it was funny that ‘D’ didn’t get me when I told her to dye her hair color. Not really that hard to work out, but then she must think now that ‘X’ is gone, I’ve forgotten her. Yeah, you don’t switch off feelings, deep feelings for someone, like you do by flicking a light switch. Like I’ve said in other posts, around the female staff (Crew and managers), I don’t get the same feelings that I got when I was around ‘X’, so no, until I get that feeling again (if that ever happens, as it was the 1st time I’d ever felt it!), I know now what the difference is to ‘like’ someone, or to ‘love’ someone; and I still feel like my World has been torn apart! Still, the mix (as listed in yesterdays post), it does seem to give you the ‘Leader’ edge, certainly gives me a confidence boost, but the singing (Occasional dancing), lol, seems I’m going to do that every single time I put that mix on. Just lost in my own World when I’m not needed to give full focus on the job (Quiet periods). The staff certainly seem to do as asked of them without any complaints. Gawd knows how they’d react if I wore A314, (When I’m getting all this happening), with the above mix!! It would be a bit of stealth diffusion, plus the mix, I wonder how that would go?! 😃 Anyhow, stalker! She started bringing out candy sweets to us all, but she kept giving me love hearts saying “Will you be mine, will you love me forever?!”" Oh dear, gawd, someone hand me a bucket!! 🙄 Get this, lol, next she brings me a candy ring and says “NH, will you marry me?” Yeah, safe to say she got hit with the reject right there right then, so what does she do, turns around to that manager I’d clocked her flirting with earlier, when she though I hadn’t seen; and says “W, will you marry me?” Yeah, that’s just shown your true colors right there, not just to me, but to everyone, although he was daft enough to say “Yes.” Silly boy! 😃 Safe to say, the end of my shift didn’t come quick enough; and I slipped out the front door quickly and quietly (Normally I wish everyone a good remainder of their shift, just didn’t want to attract the attention of the stalker!), without notice! 🙂 So yeah, I’m in work in 45 mins, yikes, better get ready, lol!! 😮 8am - 5pm, psycho’s shift. You know, she was on yesterday and seemed to be fine with me - mix maybe? You know, I think it might have been, albeit it, today will be the definitive tester on that one, going to wear the mix again, complete with that 1 shot of TUTH. Here’s hoping the stalker isn’t in, otherwise I can seeing it being a repeat of yesterday. …and if so, she better go get her hair color changed, lol!! 😛 Speak later, 40 mins to get to work!! NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 10:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/304 "2017-01-05T10:29:30Z")
Well, they’re all dying n work today! One poor girl has lost her voice, gawd knows why psycho wont let her go home is beyond me?!! Not as if we’re busy. I’ve got the same mix on again. So far, only sausage has repeatedly hugged me and refused to let go, lol! Nightmare when you’re trying to work. Actually, psycho has been really nice so far (Touch wood I didn’t just jinx myself there!). Putting that down to this mix, so yeah, this could be my trial A314, without actually using any A314, lol!! 😃 Made it to work just, taxi driver at my house was strange to say the least. Wouldn’t let me in his car despite being parked outside my house! Had to shout my name through his slightly opened window, then show him the booking on my iPod, lol!! Seriously, these new drivers are getting worse. How can a customer coming out of the house the taxi is ordered for, locking the dooor, then not actually be the customer?? Laughable. 😃 Anyhow, I’m going to apply another 2:1 mix of io/is in a minute and one spray of P96 to the front of my neck in a minute, a little top up before round 2 of the remainder of this shift! Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 7:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/305 "2017-01-05T19:57:46Z")
Jeebus, that was one mental shift after applying the top-up mix! Actually, I did 2 sprays of P96 12.5mcg (25mcg) to the front of my neck instead of the 1 spray I intended to do. Think it was a force of habit thing, getting low on it to say the least, only noticed after that 2nd spray. Probably get another 8 sprays out of the 2-Go bottle before it runs out - Big bottle of that (30ml) is getting ordered on the next order. Think February’s order may be moved forward slightly, will have to see. May actually do a small one in the next week or so; and then another bigger one mid-February. 😉 Anyhow, I went back to find the electrical engineer installing a nice new heater to the ice box we have all come to hate and tend to work for hours in; and sausage greeted me to say I’d be going in there after clocking back in - oh hell yes, I’ll quite happily go in there when there’s the feeling of being in the tropics. I ended up in there for the remainder of my shift - 6 hours, but with heat blasting down my head/neck I didn’t care one bit!! 😃 Actually, that’s when I noticed the mix I’ve been wearing all week, it was the 1st time I really noticed the mones scent. I guess the excessive heat was bringing it out more; and the scent seemed to fill the area I was working in. My face muscles were pulling back yet again, it’s like instant happiness, you can’t help but smile; and with that you get a happy buzz feel all over, which is reflected every time I spoke to a customer. I don’t know if it was the extra shot of sprays, or the heat bringing out the mix more, but everyone I went near became even more happy/socially active than they had been when around them in the cold environment. Can’t complain, a happy workplace is a more productive one; and working with friendly, happy people is far more fun than working with those that feel miserable and want to just go home!! Saying that, our lovely shift manager finally let our work colleague with no voice go home! About time too, she shouldn’t of come in, in the 1st place, but then, our lovely manager doesn’t believe people can get sick (even me); and we should all just go in and work, regardless!! So yeah, where was I? No stalker today, yay, I’m sure that will change in the coming days, pah. Might have to do what I did around ‘X’ and hide out of the way when she’s on shift. I don’t mind people being affectionate, hugging me, not something I’m used to, to be honest, but from someone that has done so much, lied so much, I just can’t bare to be around her, let alone allow her to constantly grab me. I’ve heard of ‘love/hate’ relationships, but damn, she takes it to the extreme; and that’s just not for me!! Not to mention yesterday, when out of sight she starts flirting with one of the manager’s, yeah, that’s laughable, so much for liking me, when you start targeting someone else, when I’m not around! 😮 As the girls posted on their newsfeed media a/c’s a few months back - Bye Felicia!! 😃 So, the 1st assistant became more flirty, lol. Pretty certain it was the heat/extra spray combination. She showed me pictures on her phone of the new hair color she’s getting tonight. A two-tone colour of black and purple. You may say, “What the?” But you know what, it looked pretty nice on the pictures!! Saying that, when I took interest, one of the other floor managers (one of the haters) started telling me to go ask her out, when she’d gone back into the office - here we go again, let’s start with the comments, when the person isn’t around to hear them!! Not happening, pretty certain she’s engaged anyhow, so that’s one to definitely stay clear of, besides, no feelings again, so yeah, nothing gonna happen there!! One of the young ones that I’ve been working nights with, yep, she clearly was effected too. Probably should of stuck with the 1st mix I put on in the morning, never mind adding that 2nd. As much as I do like the attention, it’s not something I can take further, not with any of them, just not got that feeling I had with ‘X’, still wondering though if I ever will have that feeling again? 😕 But that young member of staff, jeebus, not only did she take over from me in the nice new tropical zone, but she started flirting too - oh, dear lord, what have I unleashed with this mix?!! 😕 Then, when I went to clock out, she put her hand over the pin pad and said, “Don’t go, come back in here and stay with me!” 😮 Okie, minds made up, I’m sticking to the original mix, no extra top-ups!! Saying that she then said she’s in at the weekend, I’m not, which I kind of stated, should of seen the sad look she gave back! \* Shakes head\* Seriously, I could be in trouble here! So yeah, P96, plus my other crazy addons results in full on flirting from the opposite sex. Why didn’t I discover this mix when ‘X’ worked with us, lol. Saying that, with that crazy feeling I got every time, I’d probably still of hidden out of the way; and not to mention there’s still all those unanswered questions I have of what she said to that manager. It’s just questions I have, but I don’t think I’ll ever know. So, so tempted to put a login on that usb drive so she can read all of this and then tell me (probably via someone else) what I don’t know. Actually, it would probably go along the lines of “Stay away from me!” Knowing my luck. Although, in saying that, ‘X’ was always the nicest person to work with, heart of gold in my eyes, even though some that I work with now seem to try to convince me that she’s not. Sorry, but we all have done things past and present that we shouldn’t. I’m here testing out pheromones for gawds sake on people I work with and when I go out clubbing, can’t begin to get through to them how they work, I guess they’d have to come on here and try the products out for themselves to see for themselves how much fun they are!! Trialling these sprays/oils are far, far better than sitting on say the US CDCP website reporting back on endless text/data of drugs trials, which really, I don’t actually sit in a lab etc to see the vaccines being administered, I just analyse the data, pick out the facts and do a report. AD, that’s all hands on; and that is something I really love, being able to go out and test the experimentals, the new products, eventually the new stealth products and then report back. Getting hold of the physical product is far, far better than getting a written report; and effectively ‘guessing’ what the facts are based on what everyone else has written. If someone writes the same report, you know it’s more likely to be factual, but if someone is stupid enough to make up a fake report, for whatever reason, that throws a spanner in the works, makes for everything everyone has worked towards to become questionable, makes for everything to become harder to get a final result; and there are numpties out there that do just that. Personally, they should get a blog instead of a research position, as their actions can jeopardize the end result; and when many, many people work hard to get positive accurate results, that is something no one wants!! I certainly need my hair cutting, getting far too long for my liking, but until all these bee stings vanish off of my face/forehead I’m having to grin and bare what feels like hair resembling Cousin It, yeah, it’s getting THAT long!! 😮 Anyhow, gonna try the mix again tomorrow, without the extra shot after my break, lol, don’t think it’s needed if I’m around excessive heat!! Don’t know which manager is running the shift tomorrow, will have to just wait and see if it’s someone nice, lol, gawd I hope so. Missing the bubbly manager, another person off sick; and the one I need to give that USB drive to. To be honest, she doesn’t do that many shifts as she works in another job, but when she does, the whole workplace just seems to brighten up, she has THAT type of personality that everyone just wants to work; almost like a friends manager, but in saying that, she makes sure that everything gets done, no messing around if people start slacking; but fair if you work hard; and she is always the one 1st to praise, if you do a good job - my style of management, the way I was always taught to be. Speak tomorrow. NH. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2017, 12:50am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/306 "2017-01-07T00:50:04Z")
I think there should be a law about how much fun you can have with all this experimenting, lol. To think, only a month or so back and I was having to take a break from testing, on the verge of losing my insanity, to come this far in such a short time!! Safe to say, I came close to stopping my research last month, glad I didn’t though. This past week has been far too much fun to say the least! Okie, so I’ve lost ‘The One’; and yeah, I’m still having a hard time moving on, but I’m getting through it, somehow. I think it’s down to all this testing, all the experimenting and reporting back of EVERYTHING that has happened each day. Let’s face it, nothing is great in the workplace, but there be new challenges on the horizon; and I have to focus on those. Looks like we’re getting a new salaried manager. Everyone was panicking today when she came in to talk to our Business manager/admin officer. She’s replacing our current 2nd assistant who is moving on to pastures new with the Civil Service, lucky man!! I’ve known him for over 8 years in this job, seem to follow him from one store to the next, lol; and he’s known my sister for even longer than that, so yeah, a well liked man who I for one will sorely miss! Yet, this new manager, she’s the daughter of the franchisee whom owns our store - yeah, now do you see why they’re all jumpy?!! 😃 Personally, it doesn’t bother me. I’ll be myself, no matter who joins the team, no tip-toeing here!! You either like me or you don’t; and if you don’t, well you haven’t taken the time to get to know me then, your loss. 😉 I’m beginning to think this mix calms our least favourite manager! 😃 She’s like the opposite of her normal self when I’m around her, not that I’m complaining, lol. Similar day to yesterday/the day before. I’m beginning to see what I can only describe as a ‘closeness’ effect with this mix around others. The bubbly manager I posted about yesterday, we’re definitely on the same wavelength, lol. I’m having to watch how many times I hit the ‘like’ button on her posts, as what I’ve been posting in here, she has been posting things relating to herself on the social media site we use. Freaky, lol, but nice to see I’m not the only one with the same thoughts!! 😃 I’ve just written out a mammoth list of things to order - 2-Gos, 30mls, stealth oils, experimentals and the old ‘P’ range. This is what I’m looking at ordering over the next 8-12 weeks… **2-Go’s** P96 12.5mcg TUTH IS x2 IO x2 IH Ammo (Original) x2 CTTM (V2) **30mls** P96 15mcg TUTH x2 IS x2 Ammo SE 2012 **Stealth (Oil)** A314 CTTM Honesty Molecule A 25mcg MX597 P96 10mcg Shine **Experimental** MX597 (Spray) 2-Go **‘P’ Range** P74 (2-Go) 12.5mcg P74 (30ml) 15mcg P83 (2-Go) 12.5mcg P83 (30ml) 15mcg …Yeah, there’s quite a few favourites in there, plus a whole bunch of new things I’ve never tried. Still got the hedione to revisit, the ylang ylang to try out and the nerolidol to experiment with. As for the Indole Isolate, that can stay firmly inside the bottle, sealed forever, unless I get a burglar, in which case the poor blighter is gonna get the ‘rain of death’ poured over them from a great height!! I’ve not had any of the ‘herbal’ capsules since before getting sick. Have noticed a difference in my circulation since stopping, so may start back to trying those. Side effects well, lol, there was only ever two - one made you sleep on the effect wearing off, the other, made something wake upon waking up out of the sleep, to make you think, “Wow!” Volume increase, yip, can’t complain, but then it would help if there was another person, lol. Ah, let’s be serious for one minute, not gonna happen is it, well I don’t think so. Finding one person in all these years, really, chance of finding someone like that again, I don’t think I would have enough years, if I’m to wait THAT long again!! ☹ Anyhow, enough of the doom and gloom, I’ve been having a fun week!! 😉 Yeah, the stalker come on shift today, with only a couple of hours left to go on my shift. Ended up doing exactly what I said I would do, hid out the way, lol. It was only the last 10 minutes to go, that she spotted me, lol, see, told you I’m good at hiding!! 😃🆒 Sonic the Hedgehog was also fun today. You’re probably thinking “Who?” Remember the 1st assistant I said was getting her hair colored, yep, resembles sonic, lol, kept calling her that; and apparently the coloring is not yet finished, wow!! Actually, I guess it’s not, going by those photos she should me yesterday. Still, it did look good and the hater, was in to pass comment yet again! I guess he has to have his fun against someone, shame I was playing music through my head when he started up with his childish comments. So yeah, productive day. Got to go into the tropical zone again, hehe. Yeah, the mones mix does come out more in the heat!! Even I can still smell the mix on me; and I’ve been home almost 7 hours. I think I may be on the ammo SE (2-Go) next week, when the P96 runs out. Saying that, I also have 2-Go’s of P74 (12.5mcg) and [Molecule C](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/molecule-c/) 12.5mcg to play with. May bung 74 and C together and see how we get on, lol. 🙄 I’m off work now for a couple of days. Not used to having weekends off, but I think I might take the remainder steroids I need to take to clear these stings, which are still hurting. Anyhow, speak erm, Monday, if not sooner if anything comes on my mind. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Conjurator](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/conjurator/32/410_2.png) [@Conjurator](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Conjurator)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2017, 5:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/307 "2017-01-07T17:57:46Z")
Nice to see you back with so much energy. Interesting testing ahead, for sure! ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2017, 5:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/308 "2017-01-08T17:40:45Z")
> [@Conjurator](#): > > Nice to see you back with so much energy. Interesting testing ahead, for sure! Thanks Conj! Yeah, I said last November that I’d order new things come February, that’s still the case, but I didn’t factor in the launch of the new ‘Stealth’ range when I made that statement. Have to say, there’s probably a few others I may add to that list above, probably as a quick-glance reminder to myself of what still needs to be ordered. As much as I can pull up any memory of any order I’ve made, I do prefer to venture back into this journal from time to time as it shows me what I’ve mixed, what worked well, what didn’t and I can then plan ahead as to what to trial out next! 😉 Got a PM request from my friend yesterday as to when I’m next available to get out for a night on the town with him; and the other two guys that were out with us last time!! Yeah, we all know what happened there; and I for one will be well and truly staying off of the social media a/c when I get home. No repeat of last time. To be honest, my head is automatically tuned to come direct here; and from recent weeks, I know it seems to be working that way. 🙂 So yeah, looking forward to a night out, if and when I get a night off of work - shift work argh!! ☹ Will I be out there looking for someone, nope. But, I will obviously be out with the mones. One batch of some form of CTTM/Ammo combination for the guys, another more clubby/social vibe for me. Can’t be having a conflict of interests now can we, lol!! 😉 Let’s face it, when I go out, I go out to have fun, not look for a ONS. If I wanted that, I could go to any street corner in certain parts of this city; and as you all know, that’s not the type of person I EVER want to go out with. I think we all know from my recent postings my type of person, still don’t think it’s possible to find someone of that calibre again. Could be wrong, but I think she was one of a kind! In other news, I got a PM (Also yesterday), via my media a/c from one of my salaried team wanting my expertise on a previous job I used to have in installing covert surveillance systems. Damn, we all know what that means, when they want that on a closed network not monitored by the current security system!! Easy enough for me to do, I have several cameras not in use now, that I could take in and let them use/set-up for them, just need to locate a suitable power source for the 24/7 streaming. Failing that, I’ll have to look at getting them a battery-operated system. Downside to those, you have to run them off of Microsd Cards, usually 32Gb (Records 3-5 days of footage), so you’re limited to how long the battery lasts, but you can hide them literally anywhere!! Get two, you can swap them around for continuous use, whilst the other one is charging/uploading the footage to a PC/Laptop for viewing. Actually covert surveillance is one of the few jobs I miss doing. I got nicknamed ‘Inspector Gadget’ in the NHS for quite a while, when they found out I’d installed a system for the management team to catch out the endless theft of stock. Worked well enough for many to be given their marching orders, but alienated me for my actions in siding with management for quite some time afterwards - but seriously though, who in their right mind steals from their workplace?!! No one can trust you, especially if you’re found to be stealing from your colleagues!! …Back to the research. 😉 I’ve mixed up a 2-Go of P74 12.5mcg and [Molecule C](https://a314.com/product/molecule-c/) (TAC) 12.5mcg together (50% of each mone poured into the 2-Go bottle), so we’re looking at 25mcg of mones per spray. Eek, not being funny here, but my normal 3 sprays would make me be wearing 75mcg of just those two products, let alone adding my IO/IShine mix on top of that!! Hmm, could be interesting, could be a nightmare. Only ever done 10mcg of TAC before, this mix is 2.5mcg more!! Anyhow, it’s all in the name of research (…and fun, lol). 😉 😃 I still have some P96 left, so will keep going until that is gone, then switch to this new mix. Don’t worry, I’ll post to say when I do start with the new testing. The Ammo is still quite full. I’m a little wary about wearing that in work, almost as bad as the day I put on 5 sprays of x2 TUTH, damn, too much neck kissing on that shift. Lol, speaking of which, that particular ex-work colleague came in late last week. One of the ‘haters’ started up with their wise remarks, so I just came straight out with, “Sorry, no neck kissing tonight!” Made her laugh, actually made me laugh thinking about it, considering most of that particular night I was running like a loon trying to get away from her! I was like a gazelle being preyed on by a lion, had to have eyes in the back of my head, as everytime I’d go to serve someone, she’d pounce. 😮 Did I say I’m ticklish. Yeah, you touch my ribs and I jump about 50 feet in the air, so you can imagine why I had the urge to run on seeing her, otherwise it was instance shock to the system from the rib grabbing, neck attacking actions - torture, lol - …and that is why I make sure I know where the potent mixes are now, so no mistakes on that magnitude again!! 😉 One thing that came out of it, it made the ‘hater’ go “What the??” Haha, sometimes I love it when they haven’t a clue, don’t think he quite knew what to say, but it did make him back off! 😃 Anyhow, I’m off for food. Been drinking cider since well, yesterday, lol. Making up for what I missed over xmas, my room is slowly filling with empty bottles, so need to take those out to the trash too. Actually, I’ve been non-stop on and off all day on the Pioneer controller. Stuck a short mix on to my mixcloud page and now, after spending a few hours on youTube watching Hardwell and Dimitri Vegas, I have a feeling after I’ve eaten that the laser lighting and speakers will be getting a full workout!! Neighbour isn’t in, so no worries there. Actually, she’s out more than she sees her house. For someone that’s retired, she’s got one hell of a social life, lol!! 🙂 Right food, music and erm, sleep, if I can. Back to work tomorrow for 8am, argh! Day off Tuesday though, yay, more time to play on the controller, maybe have a few drinks as well, lol!! 🆒 Speak soon. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 10:30am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/309 "2017-01-09T10:30:50Z")
I could be in trouble!! Sprayed 2 shots of ammo se and 2 shots of the p74/tac mx before leaving home, thinking it was my individual io/I shine bottles. Realised and thought “heck taxi is outside, will just have to go with it!” Got to work and put on my usual io/ishine mix and 1 shot of p96! That might of been a really bad move!! Walked onto shift straight into the stalker! She hasn’t left me alone!! WTF have I unleashed with this mix??!! Even the salaried manager and one of the other members of staff are acting all flirty, too much for me to handle! Not to mention I still have that ‘dead’ feeling inside, so from me I’m really not in the “I want to date you mood!” Help!! Got another 6 hours to go, jeebus! I am going to throw on a top up of my io/ is home mix before I go back, usual amount/application points. Think I’ll be hiding soon, lol! Sat on my break now streaming that set I did yesterday on mixcloud, should finish just before I’m due back, then I’ll just run that through my head for the rest of the shift! Speak later, typos I’ll sort later, on the iPod - text box on AD is tiny, lol! NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2017, 9:04pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/310 "2017-01-09T21:04:44Z")
Well, that was one horrid shift, kind of. 🙄 Salaried and young member of staff I could just about handle, okie, I was flirting back, lol. Probably shouldn’t of done it, but what the hell eh?!! Ended up having a 3-way water fight at the back of the kitchen with the two of them, lol, not the 1st time I’ve done it with the salaried manager mind, but wasn’t expecting to get a drenching from the younger member of staff too. Ended up standing still saying out loud, “What the heck is going on here?!!” lol, Okie, I knew, it was probably the mix I was wearing and it was working more than expected. DIHL I could of coped with, but not on the scale of what was happening, lol, never in a million years did I expect something like that to happen! Thank gawd there was only a handful of female staff in, otherwise I may have been in even more trouble!! As for the stalker, jeebus, she was full on flirting, kept grabbing me from behind, hugging me, resting her head on my back for the 1st few hours I was on shift, just before I went on my break! 😮 However, on going back for round 2 of my shift, after my break, I started hearing the usual “Here’s my man,” and “NH, do you love me?” “NH, will you marry me?” comments, I knew it was only a matter of time before the negative remarks got flung my way by her; and you know what, I was right!! Was about an hour after my drenching, after coming back from my break; and we ended up alone at the back, when she came out with, “You know I’m messing, I don’t like you!” Which then switched to, “Why won’t you talk to me, don’t you like me?” Which then steadily got worse with, “NH, why aren’t you speaking to me, why are you ignoring me, don’t you love me?” Here we go!! 🙄 Back with the others and back she goes with the full-on flirting “I love you!” comments. Seriously, what part of, “I don’t want to go out with you, you’re not my type!” Does she not get?? 😠 It’s getting to the point that I might let her see what screaming in someones face feels like. It’s not something I want to do, but if it gets the message across, it may have to be done. Knowing my luck, I’ll end up being the ‘bad guy’ but what have I done? Okie, so I’ve got on a few mones, but long, long before this day she has been like this; and on some of those days, all I’ve had on is my IO/IShine mix. I can never forget that day she blasted me about ‘X’ and then denied it the very next day to all the staff. After today, I now know she is one crazy a$$ B1tc4; and I cannot ever go out with someone like that! Why can’t things be easy? Not one feeling around anyone today (Or any other day for that matter), even though I was flirty back with the ones flirting with me, minus the annoying one, (Did my best to stay well away from her!). Just no feeling at all, nothing like when I was around ‘X’; and that’s what bugs me. Now that I’ve had an endless taste of that feeling, I’m looking now for anyone that will make it happen again; and so far, no one has! ☹ I feel like if I did find someone, that if I didn’t have the same, exact same feeling I had when around ‘x’ would I be using them? Not something I really want to think about right now, not likely to go out with anyone any time soon, especially from work. Goes to show doesn’t it, you see someone, you think you like them, want to go out with them, then one day in an instant, you are hit with overwhelming feelings that are far too great to understand or deal with for one person you have come to meet. That’s the point when you think to yourself, I want that feeling again, everything else, with everyone else, just obviously wasn’t real!! ☹ Bubbly manager, who I haven’t seen for nearly a month, well she’s had an operation. Cosmetic, if you can call it that, but I hope she’s done it for herself; and not to attract some dumb a$$ guy that wants someone attractive to hang off of their arm as a trophy to their friends?!! She’s too good for that type of person, kind hearted, like ‘X’; and someone I’ve come to call a good friend, albeit she probably doesn’t know that’s how I see her! 🙄 Actually, I never tell them how I see any of them, it’s something I keep to myself. Maybe they’ll take it the wrong way and think I’m hitting on them, when I’m not. But still, there’s only a handful of people in there I really trust and feel able to literally tell them anything, bubbly manager being one of them! 🙂 Those few people have entrusted me with their thoughts/problems over the years. I keep it to myself, even here I’m not posting it. When I make a promise to not tell anyone something, I keep the promise! Well, you already know I do that, lol, but without trust, your friendship will end; and in my case, that’s not something I’m prepared to let happen! 🙂 Another day off tomorrow. Got to finish off that booklet for my management training. Well, it’s done, but I’m transferring over every question and answer to a MS Word document as a back-up in the event my book goes walkies yet again. This is the 3rd time I’ve completed this book, would you believe. Every time you do something, it gets marked, put into your employment folder supposedly forever to gather dust, not see light again, but nope, people go into the filing cabinet to copy people’s work; and that’s the last time you see it! So everything i do now, I copy over to a Word document as a reference in the event it goes for a 4th time!! However, all I’ll do is print off the work and stick it in my folder. Actually, I have my own folder on the main office computer with nearly all of my files on it. No one would need take my work, they’d just need to hit ‘print’ and get the info that way, but they’re not that clever!! 🙄 Got the nice elearning course to complete as well. They’re always fun to do. You’re given an up-to-date booklet of all the information to do the job, but the course was written in 1888, probably. Certainly designed for Windows XP, Internet Explorer, lol. Hates certain browsers, so is always a hit and miss that you will ever get it done, let alone watch it load on your home PC, but anyway, said to the salaried manager (yes that one from today’s fun times) that I’ll have it all done for Wednesday; and yes, you know me, that means no sleep tomorrow, probably, lol! 😃 For tonight though, I’m currently eating my dinner, will let my hair down (Yep, I’m still looking like Cousin IT!); and have a few more bottles of something. Lucozade at the minute, lol, but I still have a case of cider, bottle and gift pack of Port (Oh dear Lord, just thought of the last time I had that stuff! Not good, not good at all!!). In other news, my face/neck/arms is looking more like I’m a human again! 🙂 Top of my head, jeez, still have a few holes on my right side. Don’t think they’re gonna heal any time soon what with the constant wearing of the headset in work, band cuts right in there, to the point that I have to take it off when not speaking to a customer, as it’s like having a bad headache! Chest lol, let’s not go there. Still look like a leopard. I guess I should be on the steroids still, but it’s the side effects that I don’t like (kind of). Suppose to take them every 4 hours, yet they knock me out soon after taking, but on waking, well we all know who it is I see! Don’t know how I’d react if I saw her in the street, go up to her and say “Hey, just touching your hand to see if you’re real!” Yeah, like that’s gonna go down well, if it ever happened, probably won’t so shouldn’t be worrying about it now. Anyhow, after today’s craziness, I’m wondering if I should do the ‘crazy’ mix again. As much as I freaked out on-shift for well, pretty much all of it, I’m tempted to do it again, just to see if it was a one-off, or that mix really does work out just like that Lynx/Cougar commercial, lol. I think it might, but I’ll only know for sure if I do it again. Deffo one mix to think about for going clubbing! Oo, night out with the boys in a few weeks, hopefully. That would be the definitive answer if that worked in a club to the scale it worked today in work; and no, no sharing! I’d keep it all for myself, lol!! Right, time to go, speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 3:56am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/311 "2017-01-11T03:56:27Z")
Oh man, the people I used to work with just make me want to laugh out really loud. Actually I did, thankfully I was sat in my room here on my own and not in work, otherwise I’d of probably had some explaining. Anyhow, just read a friend’s post that she’s just found out that a cow is female - WHAT?!! 😮 Crying with laughter here, I’m just finding it too funny to get through my head!! These people walk among us, lol!! 😃 No, she’s really nice, mad (Clearly), a great friend, wouldn’t change her craziness for anything!! 🙂 Saying that, she did give me some lengthy questionnaire just before she left our workplace for her college course, something to do with STI’s/STD’s. Not exactly the person to give something like that to considering how long it’s been since I last went out with anyone lol. Yet, I got halfway through and literally gave up on the questioning, as even turning to Google, I couldn’t get the answers; and so ended up completing the remainder boxes with crazy answers. Didn’t expect her to then post it (Along with my comical answers) on to the social media site we all use, lol!! 😮 🙄 So, after reading her post not long ago on the ‘cow’ being female, well payback sprang to mind, lol. I wasn’t mean, but it did show that there be others that didn’t know the difference - really?!! 😮 So, Microsoft ran one of their ‘Tuesday’ updates last night, lovely. My PC has been having too much fun shutting down for most of the day, looks like I need to do one big backup of all my files, just in case I have to swap out the HDD, which contains over 1TB of files, arf!! Downside, the backup drive has 200GB of files already on it (3TB in total, so loads of room), but Dropbox is searching everything on it, so no backup commencing any time soon. Keep getting the annoying ‘camera upload’ box appearing every few minutes, which prevents me from typing - really annoying!! 😠 Anyhow, if everything goes wrong, I’ll be on the works Wi-Fi only. If I get the problem sorted, then good. Panic over, but won’t know till later when I get home. Mones testing tomorrow, oh yes. Going to try ‘Crazy mix’ again. I don’t know if it’s a wise move (Probably not), but if I get a repeat of Monday, then I know what I’m ordering in a couple of weeks time, lol. If this turns out to be the same again (Gawd help me! 🙄 ), then I won’t be testing it again until I go clubbing with my friend; and even then, I’ll be keeping it for me, lol. Need to let my hair down, have some fun, can’t think of an easier way to do it! So, in a few hours (Really should get some sleep, been awake since 7am yesterday!), when I start at 7am, I’ll be wearing my normal IO/IShine mix, plus 1 spray of P96 12.5mcg (Got about 2-3 sprays of that left) to the front of my neck, 2 sprays of Ammo SE (Front and back of my neck), 2 sprays of TAC 12.5mcg (Front and back of my neck); and 2 sprays of P74 12.5mcg (Front and back of my neck). A lot going on there and yes, well, as much as I’m being brave, thinking about it puts the fear of god into me!! 😉 Saying that, I got one hell of a confidence boost when I had that on, on Monday. Don’t know if that was the IShine or the P96, but still, albeit for one annoying person, the shift wasn’t that bad! Thankfully, stalker is in for the last hour of my shift, so I can hide out the way again! Can see the love me hate me comments get flung my way again, seriously no need. At least with ‘X’ I didn’t say anything, okie I admit it, that was probably a big mistake on my part for keeping quiet, listening to the haters; and hiding pretty much every shift, but, until someone points me in the direction of a working time machine, there’s not a whole lot I can do about that other that suck it up; and okie, I can’t forget, but argh, I’ll take each day as it comes. Speak in a few hours. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 3:19pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/312 "2017-01-11T15:19:31Z")
So far not too bad! Salaried just came in in a grumpy mood, so when I go back after my break I’ll probably do a double shot of the above! Or maybe I’ll bottle out and do my io/ishine mix, lol! 😃 Actually one of the staff members that has an attitude of a hot and cold mixer tap, seems to be pretty friendly today around me. Mix maybe? Sausage is doing her usual hugging, lol, not complaining nice to be hugged! She keeps telling me that I better not be closing my eyes and thinking of ‘X’ when she hugs me! Damn, she knows me too well, lol!! 😃 Back to worki update later! 🙂 NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 10:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/313 "2017-01-11T22:02:25Z")
Well, call me a crazy dude, but I went with the double mix!! 😮 😃 Safe to say, everyone became lively, even the grumpy salaried manager. In fact, she started doing what I do; and burst into song each time I went past her, or started humming away to herself oblivious to whom was around her, lol. Nice to know it’s not just me that these mones do this to then!! 🆒 Hot & cold staff member, wow, even she became more friendlier, didn’t expect it to be honest, considering she’s been in a right snappy mood these past few weeks, although that could also be down to her being full of a cold which didn’t seem to want to clear. Today, she had colour in her face, had what I can only describe as my type of breakfast, fruit, OJ, cereal and a hot drink, when she went on her break. Everyone (apart from me) was trying out her cinnamon cereal, lol. Have to say they looked real nice, kept thinking ‘The cinnamon challenge’ in my head, then the blue capsule of herbs, lol, damn payday in the morning, might get some more of those as we’ve finally got snow heading our way for the morning. Minus 10C they’re saying - not as cold as Garmisch, lol, but cold enough that I hope to get to take my sledge to work, as the sidewalk outside is one long hill, lol!! 😃 Those capsules though, lol, great for circulation, gives your head one hell of a buzz; and then side effect one hits without warning, the ‘crash’ effect. On waking, side effect two has emerged, lol. Not complaining on that one, deffo an eye opener, but still not good if you’re running late for work and thinking “How the heck do I hide this?!!” Lmao. 😃 Well, it was too quiet, no customers, kind of normal for this time of year; and the salaried manager started asking staff if they wanted to finish early. Yeah, let’s get the labour percentage down, and hope we don’t suddenly get a peak in customers, otherwise we won’t have enough people to serve them!! Thankfully, it wasn’t. Even the shift manager went home halfway through running his shift, that’s how quiet it was, lol!! More hugs from sausage when she went to leave too. Kept my eyes open this time, lol, didn’t want to upset her. 😉 She always looks and asks the same question, “Are you thinking of ‘X’?” I guess my face always tells the answer on that one, can’t be helped, one word, one name, one thought and I see so many images/video displayed before me with this memory of mine, I just cannot not see something, but ah well, time to try and move on. Forgetting impossible, so eyes wide open. 🙂 Back to the mayhem! Salaried manager carried on bursting into song, even whipped my butt with some cleaning brush for one of the drinks machines, lol. Oh, and she kept making “Brum, brum,” noises next to me, lmao!! She has bought a new car, don’t know what make it is, but from the way she was saying it moves, I was thinking NOS, lol!! Even took the mick and said she probably grips the steering wheel like the girls in Fast & The Furious when street racing, lol! 😃 Damn, I was pushing my luck today, full on flirting, acting nuts all shift; and getting away with it. Everyone else just acted way, way, way out of their normal selves, never seen anything like it, lol. I can only put it down to the mix I was wearing! Quick recap on that: IO X2 4 sprays. IShine X2 4 sprays. Ammo SE 4 sprays. P96 12.5mcg 1 spray. TAC 12.5mcg 4 sprays. P74 12.5mcg 4 sprays. Now, don’t ask me what the mcg of the first 3 are, no idea on that one (Anyone know?), but the last three, in total, I’m wearing 112.5mcg. Holy mother of god, no wonder everyone is acting nuts, me included, as let’s face it, this stuff is effecting me, just as much as it is affecting those around me; and we’re talking up to 3 metres away from me! Not bad, considering what I usually use. Back to the IO/IShine mix I think though, this has been one hell of an experience that I can safely say is going to be tested next in a club environment. Has to be done, albeit, what may come as a result of it, hmm, not too sure on that what. As I’ve said before, I’m not the type of guy that goes for ONS; and I could see this mix getting that type of response easily! I’m looking for a long term relationship, albeit it would seem no one is willing to take that chance with me, pah. Saying that, still going to be looking for that ‘special’ feeling; and let’s face it, that is something I really do deep down think won’t happen again, at least not any time soon! Ah well, back to the fun, happy vibe mix tomorrow (IO/IShine); and the days to come. Two more weeks of work; and I can buy the 1st of the many mones I listed in post #303 (Page #31). Then, it will be time to arrange a night out with my friends! No stalker, woo!! Floor plan said she was in at 2pm, but I guess what with it being quiet, either they gave her the day off, or told her to come in later, so yeah, no harassment today for me - Thank you, thank you!! Final thought on work before I retire for the night (Back it at 8am), got my dates for my First Aid Training, a 3-day course and bloomin’ tough at that!! Third week in February! Just one more step closer to hanging up my trainers uniform and putting on that shirt and tie. Oh jeebus, back to wearing ties!! Strange question I got off of one of the shift managers today though, the one that got to go home early, lucky devil! Our franchisee is getting a brand new store in a few months, not far from where I currently am based now, but in a key location, located in front of a brand new mall; and near to two soccer stadiums, right on a busy intersection leading into the city centre. The manager asked me if I were to be asked to move to the new store, would I? Hmm, so apparently my current Business Manager will be becoming the new Business Manager of this new venture, I wonder if I could be moving when I get promoted/it gets built. Wouldn’t mind if I’m asked. New build, new equipment, new staff, as new way of doing things, albeit I was trained on those just over a year ago, so my knowledge on that is already ahead of those working with me now. Feel like I’m being sounded out to be moved. Downside, it’s miles away from where I live, so more money to travel on public transport to get to it. Sure, I can see then asking me if I’ll learn to drive, but if you read page #26, you’ll know why I don’t drive; and as much as the thought has crossed my mind over the years to try and do so, I just cannot forget what I saw back then - the memory still stops me from turning that key, I can’t forget it! ☹ Anyhow, better get some sleep. Ran all the driver updates I could find to correct the Microsoft issue that occurred all day yesterday. So far, so good, although I’m running a massive back-up of both my HDD and SSD to an external drive. Says it will take 1 day to transfer everything, yeah that’s how many files there are, lol. It’s mainly all my music projects, so yeah, don’t want to lose those!! Might back those up to my servers just in case, can’t be too careful these days!! Speak tomorrow. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 8:41pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/314 "2017-01-12T20:41:36Z")
Well, today wasn’t as nuts as yesterday, or the day before, thankfully!! However, I applied…Three sprays of my IO/IShine mix, usual points. Then I went and sprayed two shots of Ammo SE – Yes, I know!! 🙄 Both shots to either side of my neck. Grumpy manager was in, but not grumpy around me; and as the day progressed she became more sociable. Our not so friendly manager was running the shift, but being reasonably nice to me, now there’s a surprise (Mones must be getting to her!)!! 😃 ‘Cinnamon cereal’ member of staff was in again, and she was being nice too, okie, what’s going on?!! 😮 Sausage was in, being her normal friendly self, yip, I got hugged, lol, then she made me jump about 50 feet into the air as she thought it would be fun to jab her fingers into my ribs, right at the spot I’m most ticklish!! It’s like holding onto a live wire and not being able to let go. You laugh, but you also want to cry at the same time as it’s flippin’ torture, lol!! Had a member of staff come up to me to tell me he had seen ‘X’ in the street. Really, I need to know this? 😕 Tell you, I don’t think they will ever let me forget her, saying that I can’t anyway. The slightest thing I hear or they say to me, _Bang_ back comes all the memories; and there’s flippin’ loads of them! Saying that, they have all her training work being used by current staff; and even little things like comments cards are still on the walls, so I’m reminded of her literally every day!! Never going to forget am I! ☹ Stalker came in midway through the shift and then, in a quiet period came straight up to me to tell me this was her last shift; and was leaving tonight to return home to Dublin. Oh really, damn, bye then! 😃 Only, get this, an hour and a half later she is back telling me she actually hasn’t told anyone in work that she intends to leave, oh; and she has a return ticket!! Say what?!! 😮 If you are leaving for good, why on earth would you need a return ticket?? Oh yeah, she hasn’t really decided if she wants to leave or not! Kind of sounded to me, like she was trying to sound me out if I wanted her to stay. Erm, nope, can’t say that I’d miss her. I’d remember her forever, in the same way that I remember everything, but miss her, nope. So, yeah, can see next week her turning up on shift and my head saying, “Oh FFS, here we go again!” Ah well, I’ll take that day if and when it comes; and even then, I’ll still not be wanting to go out with her! Now back to the mones. Think a little of what I sprayed yesterday may still have been on my jacket that I use to keep warm in our nice cold workplace, even with that nice new heater, as not everywhere is hot! Maybe whatever was on the jacket in combination with today’s IO/IShine and Ammo SE, was causing them to be friendly pretty much all shift - can’t complain! No singing today from any of the staff, I guess the other mixes are the one thing that makes you do that, certainly does it for me, lol. So, tomorrow, IO/IShine and either standalone, or whatever I’m daft enough to throw in for the hell of it, lol. Oo, hedione, not tried that for a while!! Neck is now clear, so might be able to apply a few dabs! Head is not clear, painful headache today with that headset on. Take it off and after an hour or so, the pain goes. Sunday is my next day off. I guess if my head hasn’t cleared by then, I’ll be waking up Monday morning with the hallucinations, after taking those steroids again, pah!! Anyhow, not long in from work, thought I’d get my thoughts down, so now it’s time for dinner. Tikka masala with pilau rice tonight, mmm. So yeah, speak later or tomorrow. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 10:55am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/315 "2017-01-13T10:55:33Z")
So I came in with my normal happy mix to grumpy psycho being her usual self, yay! Ammo 2 sprays have gone on and she’s backed right off, nice!! Thank gawd that bottle is still full!! Still got three quarters of my io/IShine 2-Go bottle full so, the two combined should last right up to the next payday, then I’ll be back on the ‘dab’ test with the hedione whilst I wait for dhl to arrive!! Stalker has left the country! Saw a map on our social media site to say she was on a plane. Let’s see if that return ticket gets used! 😉 Back to work soon, going to top up the happy vibe plus the ammo se, can’t be doing another 7 hours of psycho being her over the top self! No need for some of the things she says and does, just makes the shift hard and the moral low!! Not my style of management, never has never will!! Happy staff are productive staff and it reflects in everything that they do! Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2017, 5:08am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/316 "2017-01-14T05:08:53Z")
That extra mix I think did the World of good, lol!! Ammo SE 2 sprays (1 spray to my adam’s apple, 1 spray to the back of neck), IO/IShine 3 sprays (2 spray to the front of my neck, 1 spray to the back of my neck), over the Ammo SE. Psycho was quite nice around me, but everyone else, gawd, I felt their pain!! Actually, I could see her go to say something to me, clearly be hit with the mones; and lose her trail of thought to then come out with something not as horrid as she was to everyone else. It was just the look she gave of “What the hell is going on here?!!” hehe. Not complaining, like, nice to not be hammered with negative comments!! 😃 Even better was having her stood next to me on the last half hour of her shift, using the headset to talk to customers. OMG, everything she says to trainers to get staff not to say, here she was saying it herself, lol!! 😮 Felt like corrective coaching her as she spoke, but hey, I was in a good position, and wasn’t going to push my luck, lol!! 🙄 Cinnamon cereal challenge staff member, yep she was in one weird mood when I went back after my break - told you, she’s like a hot and cold mixer tap, lol. Don’t think it was the mones, albeit got her to finally crack a smile! Told her I’d get her a t-shirt that said “Roar, is dinosaur to say I love you!” haha. Safe to say not only did she immediately tell my friend the manager, but not as I said it - hell she’d be cr\*p at chinese whispers - but she then proceeded to roar in my direction, lol. She has a boyfriend here guys, not a chance. Besides she’s 19, which is just too young for me! Not to mention, I don’t get THAT feeling around her, so no chance of anything happening there, ever!! Still, not going to stop me from trying to get her out of her negative mood, as it reflects on everyone else. Don’t actually think she wants to be there, she said about a month ago that she’s job hunting - hey that’ll take it to 20 left in a month, if that’s the case, lol! Yet, trying to get her to be productive, do anything other than what she wanted to do, darn near impossible. You’re being paid to serve customers, not ignore them and blow up balloons, or sit on the floor under your till and stack sauces onto a tray thinking they can’t see you, they can. Yeah, someone doesn’t want to be there; and in a funny way, I can relate to how she feels, been there myself; and even now, there’s a part of me that still wants to continue looking for something different. Except, with this promotion, I’m actually going to give it a go. Been wanting it for so darn long, that now it’s here, well let’s see how it goes. We’ve got some very positive challenging things coming in the next few months, starting with a complete re-build of the building, with a shutdown of 3-4 weeks, oh yeah, that long!! It’ll be like several of the other stores I worked in, in August 2015, feels only like yesterday!! 🙂 New systems of doing things and far, far better in my opinion. Better as a manager, lol, can’t wait for that one!! That 1st aid course is getting closer too, got a colleague moving up with me, so we’re going together. Gonna be fun doing endless roleplays of helping casualties. This is were my 10 years of working in the NHS comes in (Plus my field training with the RAF, albeit only 2 years, but damn they put you through your paces!). Keeping the training I got with the NHS to myself, albeit I didn’t work in the medical side of things, I still was required to do all the first aid, fire, health and safety training every 6-12 months, as being in a management position, we had to be kept up-to-date on all aspects of the job! 🙂 Can’t begin to tell you how much I love that 1st aid course though, could do it all day, every day. Saying that, I seem to get the unexpected things happen when I least expect it, like last August (2016) when I had to go to the aid of a pensioner on the train who collapsed. Instinct for me, when I hear the word “Help!” Just have to react and go through all the training until the person is in a stable condition, hopefully. Pensioner was certainly able to tell me her entire life story by the time the paramedics arrived, but the guard on the train, speaking to the EMS operator, jeebus, talk about panicking the entire carriage of passengers, with his “Oh no, oh no!” Comments every time he looked at the lady. Yeah m8, that’s a lot of help, go away and leave me to do what I’m trained to do! Positive outcome there, hope she got to go and do her dancing! That’s the one thing I don’t like about it, you never find out how the person did, you just hand them over to a paramedic and that’s the last you hear of the person, but still, I’d do it for anyone, always in my nature to help, I’m just not one of those people to stand and watch and think, “Someone else will do it!” Not me, don’t care if there’s blood, or breakages, the training and knowhow will just kick in and my focus will be on the casualty. Not to mention, even in work, they come to me with all their 1st aid problems, even the managers and they’ve gone through the same training/course, lol. Suppose carrying my own fully stocked 1st aid kit helps, even have an epipen in there now (Gawd, I hope I never have to stab myself with that!!). Here we go, gone off track yet again!! 🙄 So, back in tonight on a late shift. I swear the schedule manager is trying to kill me off!! Saying that, I go onto the manager’s schedule soon, so best just enjoy these types of shifts as I have no idea how my shift pattern will work, when I put on that shirt/tie, or if I’ll even get the same amount of hours. Hope so, otherwise I’ll be doing like I did in the hotels/bar jobs, going for extra hours and never seeing the light of day again!! Tonight, I’ll be wearing my usual happy vibe mix! Love that stuff (As you all know! 😃 ). Will have to see who is in when I get to work, to see if I’m wearing the Ammo SE. I won’t just throw it on!! 😉 Tempted to throw on the ‘Crazy’ mix, just for the fun and bouncing around, but better hold off, lol, those 2 days of testing were just mental!! 😃 Anyhow, speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2017, 6:54pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/317 "2017-01-14T18:54:53Z")
Okie, so I did two sprays of cttm v2 on leaving for work. At work I did my usual io/ishine mix/ sprays then 2 sprays of ammo SE. 1st 2 hours all the girls are hugging me and won’t stop, lol. 😃. Sadly the lil’ buggers keep trying to tickle me, the guys too!! :yikes: So, next I’m on that headset in the tropics being my happy bouncey self stood next to the person doing the cashiering; and what does she come out with as the car at the window depart? “NH, that was bae!” To which I asked, “Who?” ‘F’ replied, “Bae, you know, your girlfriend!” Daft me looks right back puzzled, “I haven’t got a girlfriend, lol, who you on about?” Thinking she was winding me up with some random customer as I was engrossed in taking order after order with my head down on the computer screen. “You know, bae, ‘X’!!” OMFG!! I actually looked down the lane at the car in disbelief. Yeah she was right and then that stupid feeling hit me! Why? Every flippin time!! Seriously need to get this to stop! Why do I get this feeling only with ‘X’ and no one else? Anyhow, I guess that’s it for me tonight, albeit I now have a trainee with me till 10pm! Io/ishine going on again, same points. May do a 1 spray of ammo se to my Adam’s apple. Yep I will! Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 1:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/318 "2017-01-15T01:44:28Z")
Okie, so I did two sprays of cttm v2 on leaving for work. At work I did my usual io/ishine mix/ sprays then 2 sprays of ammo SE. 1st 2 hours all the girls are hugging me and won’t stop, lol. 😃 Sadly the lil’ buggers keep trying to tickle me, the guys too!! 😮 Next came a wind-up, by the looks of it!! I’m stood in the new tropics zone and the person next to me cashiering decides to do the ultimate wind-up by saying that the person I’d been interacting down the headset with was ‘X’! 😕 Which customer? I’m interacting in my normal happy vibe to everyone, male and female!! Had my head down on the computer taking the next mammoth order of nothing on our menu, but some bizarre order of whatever was in the head of the customer, lol! Call me a sucker, as I didn’t see the occupants of the car. I did see what looked like two females, one wearing a similar coat that ‘X’ wears, but jeebus, my heart went nuts, that stupid feeling hit me out of nowhere; and even though the car had moved beyond our point of view, I still wanted to hide!! 🙄 So 2 hours in; and this lovely individual gets asked by one of the male managers who it was; and the sudden truth came out, it wasn’t ‘X’ afterall, but just two females in a car! Nice, thanks for that, harsh, I’ll remember that one next time you want something! Seems like the endless fun from others is still going on. Don’t know who put her up to it, but damn, one thing is for sure, apart from being suckered in, I still have feelings for someone I’m never likely to see again!! Still, whatever it did to me, it sent my head into an even more happier than normal mood. Kept seeing the apartment images over and over, even told a few of the managers; and they start testing me. I guess that was a bad move on their part, as they discovered just how good my memory was, lol!! 😃 I’m sorry guys, but I’m looking at said events as if they are happening at this very minute in time, displayed on the wall behind you! 😛 Went on my break and came back with 2 shots of ammo se and my IO/IShine mix sprayed over the top of that, once more. My happy vibe mood went into crazy, bouncy happy mood, to the point that one of the two managers proceeded to ask me what I was on?!! Just said "Happy thoughts, great memories and a few shots of my N.I.T., hehe. 🙂 What can I say, they really do make me very happy; plus the thoughts, albeit, it wasn’t really ‘X’, they’d still managed to put her into my memory with recalls of the night at the apartment! Ah well, day off today!! Currently munching on the 9 nuggets I was really craving for at 6am yesterday morning, lol, plus a pack of deep-fried, breaded cheese balls. Certainly getting my cereal with these as they contain cornflakes, lol. I guess you could drop them in a bowl and add some milk, lol!! Time to finish off that book for my managers course; and complete the online training course My external drive has finally completed the backup of my PC, only took 2 days, lol. Still, all I have to do is scan the pages of that booklet and it’s done, before I hand it in!! 🆒 Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 3:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/319 "2017-01-15T15:27:18Z")
Well, I’m officially drunk, lol!! Sat on my own in my house on this PC, making my way through the stockpile of alcohol I got at Christmas! Still look like Cousin IT, but despite the crater in the top right of my head and a few smaller ones on my forehead, Wednesday, I shall be taking the plunge and getting it cut. Has to be done, too darn long now, to the point that I cannot even hide it under my cap in work!! Saying that, when I become a manager, no more hats, lol. Actually all the male managers are doing their hairstyles that resemble '80’s A.L.F. with one manager called Si, that looks just like him in every darn way, hahaha!! [http://e.peruthisweek.e3.pe//ima/0/0/0/2/6/26124/624x468.jpg](http://e.peruthisweek.e3.pe//ima/0/0/0/2/6/26124/624x468.jpg) So yeah, half a 1 litre bottle of baileys in 10 minutes, gone, lol, and now I’m onto a gift pack of port miniatures. Brain and body is telling me to go eat food, but nah, having too much fun watching all my work colleagues post some stupid ‘Profile stalker app’ onto their social media site newsfeeds!! Interesting results, from what it is displaying, yet, I’ve just had a look at the domains info and all is not what it seems, as always, lol. Can see them in days to come contacting me with their “My Social media account has been hacked, help me, please!!” Yeah, that’s what you get for using a website that says is in Poland, but the servers are in the USA, however, the actual company grabbing all the data is in Panama!! Yeah, you’re all getting hacked!! Here’s a little tip, why not just ask all your stalkers how often they spend looking at your profile - oh wait, they don’t have to, as everything you post appears automatically on their news feed!! Even my account is nuts, lol!! The one person I love that has removed me as a friend after that stupid post I put up, yeah, even her posts appear on my news feed; and why - account association!! Doesn’t matter what she does, or anyone else for that matter, if they post anything on their feed or one of their friends feeds, even like/comment/share something, then if my nice (horrid) new developers account/business account/personal account detects certain fields, I get to see their posts!! Strange how far this media site has come since 2006, when it looked very similar to MySpace, before changing colour and layout!! Still back then, we all had the chance to input our thoughts and design ideas into developing it, even including our own integration codes, of which, many of mine still work!! 😃 Anyhow, back to work tomorrow, arf!! 7am start, double arf!! ☹ Saying that, I’m on with the young member of staff I had the water fight with last week, lol. Interesting to see how that shift goes, albeit she is a friendly character anyhow, has plenty of advice for anyone, even been telling me on the social media site that (I hate this sentence), “There’s plenty of fish in the sea!” Didn’t stop me sending a picture of a shark swimming in a shoal of fish that did a runner wherever the shark swam, lol, can relate to it, haha! 😃 Actually, I think I will get something to eat! Miniatures are all gone, got that pack of cider to have and a massive bottle of port, that I know will send me in to lala land!! 😉 Speak tomorrow with what I’m wearing, probably IO/IShine and Ammos SE, but application points/amount I haven’t decided yet. 😉 Byeeee. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2017, 6:17am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/320 "2017-01-17T06:17:46Z")
So, I left for work yesterday morning with 2 sprays of IO to either side of my neck, (This is the standalone 2-Go bottle that I use to make up my daily mix with my IShine, but thought “Sod it,” and sprayed it on!). CTTM V2, 2 sprays of that, same application points. 1 spray of P83 12.5mcg, to my adam’s apple. Why 1 spray? That was the last in the bottle - damn, need more of that!! Got to work, and did 1 spray of Ammo SE to my Adam’s apple and then one spray to the back of my neck. Then, threw on my IO/IShine mix. 3 sprays, 2 to either side of my neck, 1 to the back of my neck; and went and clocked in. 🙂 Well, safe to say yesterday has been yet another crazy shift, although my ribs have taken one hell of a beating!! ☹🙄 I’m guessing it may have been the Ammo SE/P83 that may have done it, but every single female on shift, bar one who endlessly flirted with her BF who was running the shift, kept poking me in the ribs (Which, as you know makes me jump in the air like I’m being electrocuted!), tickling the cr\*p out of me; and flirting like there was no tomorrow! 😮 😃 To a point I enjoyed the attention, but the tickling, jeebus, I could of done without that!! Mixer tap staff member whom I’m going to refer as ‘L’ from now on; and the young water fighter as ‘A’ were both working, both being a nightmare, but still, compared to Saturday, this mix combination has turned all the female staff into little devils!! Had female manager ‘P’ in the kitchen block me from passing every single time I needed to; and she kept pulling tongues at me the entire shift, lol, WTF?!! Even the Business Manager clocked it; and started laughing, (Fecker!! He could of stopped it, but noooo, he just had to stand and laugh, then go into the office and tell everyone in there working, what he’d witnessed. Yeah, thanks for that!! 🙄🙄 ). Probably made it a billion times worse after my break as I did that double top-up of my IO/IShine mix and 1 Spray of Ammo SE to the front of my neck and went back for round 2!! Yeah, bad, bad move, should of just stuck with what I was wearing from the morning, as I got double trouble!! 😮 Every female that went near me, ribs got poked; and I’d jump into the air, lol, as it’s probably the closest to electric shock! ‘A’ began to do the block manoeuvre and stop me passing, oh great. ‘L’ started with the weirdness, albeit, she was finally upbeat, smiling and being productive, jeez, if this is what it takes to get her to change mood to a positive one, I could be in for a hell of a time, don’t think my ribs could take it, lol, think I’ll deffo have to get my hands onto the A314 ‘stealth’ and apply it! Anyhow, my least friendly manager is in in the morning, so yeah, _can’t_ wait for that!! 🙄 Think the ammo se will be getting applied for that shift, got to do something, albeit, I don’t think I can handle the rib jabbing, it’s pure torture; and as much as I want to do it back to them, you have that thought in ones head that there be places on females that are out-of-bounds and hope to gawd that if you do take the chance and go for payback, that you don’t accidentally touch any of those areas, or there could be trouble, lol!! In my case, I’d probably do a hit-and-run and leg it, lol. Speak tomorrow. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2017, 10:56pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/321 "2017-01-17T22:56:55Z")
Today, I went down another testing route! After reading Conj’s journal over the last few weeks, I decided to do the hedione test again!! 🙂 7 dabs to the left side of my jawline/side of my neck, then repeated it to the right side. Didn’t apply anything else until I got to work, then it was 1 spray of Ammo SE to my adam’s apple, with my usual 3 sprays of IO/IShine to my neck/back of neck. Compared to yesterday, this could possibly be the best mix/combination so far!! No animalistic reactions from the female staff. They were all really friendly (Including the shift manager from hell), not even any rib poking - yes!! 😃 ‘L’ was even in a more friendly/upbeat mood; and yes, she was being very productive. Anything I asked, she did without question. At one point I thought I had A314 on, but nope, don’t have any of that, not yet anyway!! 😉 You know, up until I went on my break, it was just a great atmosphere, couldn’t fault it. Everyone just worked as one and got on with what was needed to be done. Don’t know if the salaried management were testing me, but the shift manager seemed to leave me to run the shift, for pretty much all of it, hardly saw her - probably sat in the office watching everyone on the CCTV monitor, which is her new favourite thing to do!! 🙄 Tell you what though, you can’t run a shift from the office!! You have to be on the floor to see everything and deal with any problems that arise as soon as possible, so as not to let things get any worse. After my break, I didn’t do a top up of my IO/IShine Mix, nor did I do anymore shots of Ammo, just went with what I had on from the morning 6:40am, break ended 10:20am. What I did notice around 1pm-ish, was that the neroli scent seemed to be dying off, seemed more subtle that normal. This is what I noticed last time I used the hedione oil, seems to make AD’s sprays lose their scent of neroli (Or any other mone) within 5-7 hours of application. Yet, clearly, there was something still lurking on my neck, as the friendliness continued. Me personally, I felt active up until around 11:45am; and I mean really active!! Head was so focused on the job/what needed to be done, who needed positioning where, cos lets face it, despite having experienced staff working in the food areas, they weren’t really working at the pace to deliver. Then, I began to feel like I was in a relaxed/chilled mood! Not complaining, it got real busy all of a sudden., but for me, I wasn’t fazed by it. Nope, I just took everything in my stride. So yeah, not a bad day, not a bad test of a new mix. Am tempted to take in the hedione, but, not too sure what that might do?!! Back to Conj’s journal for some helpful info on that one maybe, lol. 🆒 Anyhow, 2 rest days starting now, hence why I’m sat here typing this, drinking cider and chilling without the thought that I need to set the alarm in the morning, hehe!! 1st night shift of 2 starts on Friday, in at 11pm, arf!! 🙄 So, so need a night out. But in saying that, I’m looking at this years music festivals that have started showing their face on my media a/c newsfeed. I guess friends and the many random strangers associated to my account are posting it on their feeds. Not complaining, it’s nice to know about said events, at least I can plan if I can go to them!! Creamfields (UK), 4 days, oh yes! I always just do one day, either the Saturday or (Usually) the Sunday. But this year is special this year they are celebrating X amount of years of running the event so it’s gonna be big; and I haven’t camped at any festival in years, lol - has to be done; and can’t think of a better environment to try out the ‘Stealth’ products, hehe!! 🆒😃 Other events, just been looking at Tomorrowland at the end of July in Belgium. Chances of me bumping into people from work and those that have left, pretty darn high, but so is the price of the tickets, so will have to see if I can get to that one. Then again, also been looking at DEFQON1, which is just outside Amsterdam - Hardstyle/Hardcore event over a weekend. Did I say I LOVE Hardstyle music?!! 😃 Let’s not forget EDC, lol. Yeah, I’m looking at everything!! Supposed to be saving to go flying, but erm, music kind of always takes over once I get the vibe going through me. Saying that, if I get the same wage as I do now, I may still be able to do both; and flight training (Air time) tends to commence around June/July time, so yeah, will have to take a good look and see what I can do!! Think today has been a pretty darn good day, feeling in a right good upbeat mood right now, albeit I’m not looking forward to going to get my hair cut tomorrow, but ah well, has to be done, too darn long now! Barber will have a fit when he sees the split in the top of my head. May still hurt as it’s not healed, but that’s also down to me not using those pills. Just can’t cope with seeing ‘X’ standing before me in the morning when I wake up, well, not the imaginary kind anyhow, lol, who am I kidding?!! Chances of me seeing the same person in the flesh standing before me, haha, not a chance there. Still got them coming up and asking me in work if I think about her, kinda go quiet when they start asking too many questions. It’s a case of having to, as my head goes into ‘Recall mode’ and I start seeing everything from the very 1st day I saw her in the office to the last hour I saw her in the apartment, not great when you’re trying to forget something that you cannot forget (Nor want to forget); and others just want to keep asking, keeping the memories permanently alive, pah. ☹ Actually, I spotted a customer today that I called my ‘Stalker’ from a previous store I worked in, always coming in and just staring at me - freaky!! Told the nightmare manager in front of two members of staff; and they started up with the “Ask her out,” comments. Nope, not a chance, didn’t get THAT feeling when I saw her either. Beginning to wonder if I ever will feel THAT feeling again, with anyone else other than ‘X’. The haters have a tendency to try and show me pictures of her, but I won’t look! If I see her, I know I’ll be hit immediately with that crazy feeling; and I just cannot cope with it, it’s a heart killer knowing reality of nothing ever happening!! Anyhow, going to go. Another cider is calling me; and I think I will spin some tunes. Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![justintime469](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/justintime469/32/1402_2.png) [@justintime469](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/justintime469)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 3:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/322 "2017-01-18T15:06:00Z")
> [@Night\_Hawk](#): > > Today, I went down another testing route! After reading Conj’s journal over the last few weeks, I decided to do the hedione test again!! 🙂 > > 7 dabs to the left side of my jawline/side of my neck, then repeated it to the right side. Didn’t apply anything else until I got to work, then it was 1 spray of Ammo SE to my adam’s apple, with my usual 3 sprays of IO/IShine to my neck/back of neck. > > NH. Dam you to with the crazy mixes I love it. Great report on this. I find with Hedione if I mix in the same bottle as the mones it does seem to make the scent disappear and diffuse faster, but the effects still stay around. Jdub might be able to also help you out with the Hedione as I think Conj and him are the most experienced users I have seen post anyway and I often look to them myself for advice with this one. For me I have had the best luck using the Hedione pure from the bottle kind of like applying the A314 and often I put the app spot in the center of my mone mix like on the front or back of my ears and use my neck for all the mones. I find with this setup the Hedione helps with lifting the mone mix off of my neck into the air around me. Everyone has there methods with Hedione. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688.md?page=15) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688.md?page=17)