# Night\_Hawk's Pheremone Journal **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Journals\ **Created:** [December 2, 2010, 4:05pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688 "2010-12-02T16:05:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 2:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/323 "2017-01-19T14:43:46Z")
So, I’ve just looked at the schedule for next week; and it looks like that return ticket has been used!! So much for ‘D’ telling me she was leaving for Dublin for good; and not coming back! Yeah, more mind games! 😠 Seriously, this is one person I really have come to realised over the last few months that I cannot ever trust with what she says. How her partner lasted a year with her I do not know! I’ll never forget the day she brought him to our workplace not long after she got back with him after confessing to kissing 2 other guys at the wedding reception (Recall page #14). The look on his face kind of said it all. You could see him looking at every single guy, including me, with the look of, “Were you the one that kissed her?!!” It was clear from that, that the relationship was through, I don’t think ‘D’ could see it herself, but from the look on his face, I just knew it was inevitable. From my point of view, I don’t ever want to be the guy looking at others with the same thought, because I know from what I have seen with my own eyes, she is not one for trusting!! As I’ve said time and time again, without trust, you cannot have a relationship. It’s the grounding for everything, coupled with love and feelings; and they are things I do not have for this person, or anyone else in my workplace for that matter!! Sure, I seem to flirt around with everyone, but there’s nothing there, no feelings, nada, zip. Until I have THAT feeling again, until it happens, if it ever happens, I’ll be staying single. Sure, it won’t stop me for going out to the City’s clubs with my friends, taking my mones and having fun, but until THAT feeling hits me again, I just won’t be looking for anyone. IO/IShine is probably my favourite mix. I’ve used them both for 6 years now, right since 2010 when I 1st discovered AD. I cannot fault them. IO, the best thing for being around quiet people that keep to themselves, it brings then out of their shell. Great for using around new members of staff, especially if they’re shy around new people and surroundings. Managed to get a member of staff to interact with a shy member of staff, last week, about 5 mins after I’d done my IO/IShine top-up. For someone shy and hardly speaking to anyone after a month of working, to meeting a new member of staff of two days, me standing between them and getting them to speak with each other, it worked, and I contribute that down to the IO. Who knows, they’ll probably turn out to be best of friends, but it’s getting them to speak, interact with one another and not shy away, that’s the hard part; and if the mones I wear on a daily basis helps, then so be it, I’m happy to keep wearing it. IShine, well that just puts me in a right happy vibe!! I feel like bouncing everywhere when I put that on, certainly makes me want to smile. Get a great feeling in my head and end up really focused too. It has to be the best cure to a hangover I have ever found!! 2 sprays to the front of your neck on waking up, feeling like death; and within 5 minutes, you feel right as rain, like you never went out the night before!! A fantastic product, that I wish I’d discovered years ago!! Around others, I see very similar as IShine clearly is affecting them too. Can’t complain, we’re in a stressful place, with customers from hell treating us like dirt because of where we work, what we do. We’re the brunt of customers bad manners; and expected to take it in our stride. I’m kind of used to it, but for someone young, 16-18, how do they deal with it? Personally, from what I’ve seen, many don’t; and if the manager isn’t around and I see it, that’s were I step in and take over, as I hate bullies! You can throw what you want at me, I’ll remember your face, your car, your comments for years to come, I don’t mind telling you next time you come in that you’re not getting served, but I won’t tolerate my team being abused or threatened, not a chance! We’re there to provide a service, not be verbally or physically assaulted for the few that clearly were dragged up, not brought up. But this is where the IShine comes in! No matter what they throw at us, customers or managers, that happy vibe, positive focus is shared amongst all that come close to me! It’s something I will always buy, always use, in every situation that I find myself in! 🙂 Combining IO/IShine with other products (Mones), whether being the ‘Instant’ line, ‘Putative’, ‘ExperiMone’, ‘Experimental’ (MX), ‘Oil’ and now the new ‘Stealth’ range, testing out and taking the experience to a whole new level is something I cannot fault. Sure, we have all come to find things that haven’t worked, but there are many, many, good and great things we have all come across over the years that we have found to work; and for that reason, we keep going back to them time and time again! I love testing the new things that come out, I love getting my hands on the freebies that appear in each new order; and thinking to oneself, “I didn’t order that! What is it even? Wonder what it does? Where can I use it?” Yeah, we’ve all been there and continue to do so!! Workplace, social environment, nightclub, family gathering, interview, new job, 1st date, anniversary, you name it, there’s a mone for every occasion!! 😉 Who knows what the future holds, but one thing is for certain, so long as AD is around, I shall be here testing and reporting on one hell of an adventure!! 🆒 …and with that, I’m off to enjoy the remainder of my day off! Think I might fire up iTunes and catch up on all the movies I’ve bought but not got around to watching yet, lol. Saying that, started a new song last night, almost got it finished, a trance/EDM track, with a few elements of tropical house thrown in here and there! Hmm, interesting production, no vocals! Can’t be writing vocal tracks at the moment, just too soon to be doing that; and can see my head recalling that EDM track that played on loop in my head for months! 😉 Still, this deffo breaks a tradition of me writing/producing music from April onwards, so I can see a lot more tracks coming out this year than in previous years. Got lots of ideas in my head (Yes, even vocals, albeit, I try to swiftly make the tracks vocal free - can’t be doing with love tunes right now, too many people will end up stirring the past, asking me if it’s about ‘X’?!! Probably. 🙄 ). ☹ Ah, one day maybe my wishes will come true, but until then, I’ll have to follow reality; and just continue to plough through!! 🙂 Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2017, 11:37pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/324 "2017-01-20T23:37:37Z")
Night shift again! May have gone overboard with the hedione, lol. Getting a slight scent of something! Got a shower using lynx dark temptation then after getting dressed applied 10 drops to a cotton ball and wiped my left jawline and back of my neck. Did 14 drops to a new cotton ball and repeated the right side and back of neck, then went to work. Applied ammo se to my Adam’s apple and then to the back of my neck. Lastly my fave mix, IO/IS 2 sprays front, 1 spray back of my neck. Walked on to the floor in work and immediately I’m told that I’m too happy for a night shift, lol! My face feels like I’ve had a facelift lol. Can’t stop smiling hehe!! Just been told I’m working in the kitchen tonight, ha!! Bring it on if it’s true, love cooking!! Not the same as when I worked in the hotels in Germany. 4 and 5 star hotels had long working hours, but the nightlife, ah man, I miss the djing! Oh wait, got my gear at home can do it any time!! 🙂 Well speak later (…and amend any typos, lol). Actually, wait till I tell you what my co-worker is saying next to me, hahah!! N ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2017, 8:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/325 "2017-01-21T20:28:55Z")
Last night. As I said in the post above, I couldn’t post what was going on as I had to get back to work, so people could go home/catch the last train. 😉 So, what did I find funny with my colleague next to me (‘A’ that I had the water fight with.)? Well turns out one of the guys that does the early shifts fancies her and told me (Via _her_ mobile using the Private messaging service on the social media a/c), that I couldn’t speak to her/flirt with her on shift, haha! What? Seriously?!! 😃 She read it out to me word for word, lol. OK, wow!! 😮😃 Actually, she was laughing her head off. Actually, she was acting daft/flirty with me and another member of staff (‘J’) within a few minutes of me sitting down to start my break. Mones/hedione combination maybe? Who knows at that point, could just be friendly banter amongst friends! Anyhow, straight to the media a/c I go (Mine), only to spot a private message on their app thingy sent from the same guy to me, lol!! It read as follows… LK: "Oi, stop chatting ‘A’ up (Ending with a symbol of a fist). NH: “Unlucky!!” 😛 LK: “Hahaha good luck anyway she won’t crack.” NH: “We’re just good friends m8.” 🆒 LK: “I know, I’m messin’, calm down.” NH: "Know you are lol! Going back to work. LK: “Going to sleep.” This, by the way, is one of the ‘haters’ I had problems with when ‘X’ was working with us, so in a way, I’m looking at his comments and thinking, “Here we go, again!” This person was one of the ones telling me to effectively go out with a prostitute and start there, before going for a long term relationship! Even told me to go to Amsterdam, or worse still, go to one of the districts that is in our City and pay for sex with someone, anyone, the more the better!! Nah, think I’ll pass on that one. Said it time and time again, not my sort of person. If I can’t go out with the one I fall for, that I have so much in common with and feel at total ease with, like we have known each other for ever, then nah, I’ll be staying single thanks. Next in came the ‘Close’ manager, finishing at midnight. Finger in ribs jabbing time. Yeah, I’m the target and nearly hit the roof in shock/surprise, lol, with ‘C’ laughing her head off saying “Got you, finally!” 🙂 JUst wait for tonight, payback is coming her way, lol!! 😃 ‘C’ said she is running tonight’s overnight shift as last nights manager was a tad sick. Head cold by the looks of it, told her to avoid benylin, lol. Think I’ll be telling everyone to do that from now on!! 😉 She leaves and the flirting continues with ‘A’ and ‘J’. ‘J’ comes out with some story of a weird game called ‘7 minutes’. I guess it’s some childhood game. Anyhow ‘A’ and I have never heard of it, so I’m daft enough to ask what it is. 🙄 Don’t know if you’ve ever played these ‘Truth or dare’ games, but with 7 minutes, if you go with the dare, well, apparently you get locked with the opposite sex in a cupboard/dark room for erm, 7 minutes. Whether you like that person or not, er, who knows, but yeah, that was what ‘J’ was going on about; and that just began even more laughs between ‘A’ and I, with, “Let’s do it; and we’ll text ‘LK’ whilst in there, haha!!” 😃 Still didn’t know if it was the mones/hedione, but in the back of my mind, I was beginning to think it was; and basically just went with it. Now remember, ‘A’ is far too young for me, to be fair I’d say almost all of the female staff currently working with me are far too young, so having a laugh/joke is as far as anything is gonna go in my mind. Only a handful of staff in there are between 24 - 30; and as much as the lowest age of someone I go for is 26, I’ll go down to 24 if I think they are mature enough in an adult sense, after all, at that age I’d been working for 10 years in catering, worked abroad, travelled across Germany on my own and been a lab rat for a few months, to make extra cash, (To mainly fund the adventures abroad/College/Uni. 😉 ); and my life at that point was on the beginning of a turning point, as I began to do multiple jobs at once, having me travel here, there and everywhere, all week, every week; and you know what, to a point I didn’t mind it. I was so used to travelling, what from the endless moves in the Forces, to well, working abroad that my life just became one active adventure of learning new things and effectively getting employment in what I’d learnt. Might not of lasted long (Contract work), a few months here, a year or two there, but still, doing 1-4 jobs over the week, for different companies, it gave me a sense of achievement, something to do/look forward to. Of course, that eventually comes to an end. The day I got a phone call from my mom telling me dad was out of work and they were in desperate need of money to pay the bills/mortgage. Stupid me took on the paying of the mortgage, whilst having my own place in another City. Stupid because, I didn’t know it would affect my credit status/rating!! Went from almost being at the top (928) to plummeting to (226) in the space of a month, from being associated with my parents finances. Jeebus!! Then, the endless phone calls for more money came (Should of stayed in Germany. Actually, no, should of stayed in the Civil Service and taken that 2-year assignment abroad), but family is family, you only get the one set of birth parents; and I felt obliged to help, so packed up, sold pretty much everything I had in the other City; and moved back to the family home - bad, bad, move!! Still stuck here, feeling like I’m in a nightmare episode of Prison Break, actually, real life prison has probably got better conditions. Don’t pay the mortgage now, only all the household bills around 500GBP a month (and will do for the next 4 and a half years when they finally finish paying their mortgage. Then they’ll be financially in a position to at least take some, if not all of those monthly bills away from me, so I can finally get out of dodge. Unless I win the lottery of course, lol!!). For the 1st 5 years of attempting to pay off all of their other debts (Credit cards, loans, etc), I ended up taking out a massive loan of my own to try and clear it all in one go (Consolidation). Being almost 28K GBP in debt in your mid-20’s not good, not good at all, restricts you from doing pretty much anything, restricts you from going out, having a social life, going on holiday, effectively having a relationship, because let’s face it, who in their right mind would go out with someone in so much financial debt, even though it is at no fault of my own! Thankfully, I’m about 2 months away from clearing all the debts I accumulated when I moved back home; and my credit score/rating is back in the 900’s almost as high as when it 1st was before taking on the family debt, YAY!! Saying that, I never really tried to look for someone, just thought pretty much every day, “I can’t, got too many responsibilities to look for anyone!” Yet, you just can’t say to family, “No, sorry, I can’t, not this year, I’m off to Ibiza!” JUst not going to happen. Yet, in 2 months time, I’ll be watching my bank account look pretty decent again, hence the thought of finally doing what I have always wanted to do - get abroad to the best party places in the World!! I still feel like I’m 26, apparently look it (Especially as I no longer look like Cousin IT, haha)! I have that energy still from my early/mid-20’s from when I travelled here, there and everywhere. Even DJing back then, I had the life. Still miss working in radio, mind; and the endless outside broadcasts. Nothing like setting up in a unit/store front in a shopping mall for a few months leading up to Xmas and a few more into the new year, having everyone watch you effectively perform in front of them. Gives you a little buzz, sense of achievement and knowing that people do actually listen! Feck, done it again. Damn memory. Back to last night… …Back to work, yep I’m in the kitchen - Yippee!! My gawd does time fly when you’re in there, what felt like 30 minutes, was actually 6 hours that passed on by, streuth. But in that erm, 30 minutes of hard work, I somehow managed to fill it with a lot of flirting/having fun with ‘A’, ‘J’ and believe it or not, the sick manager ‘AJ’. Out came the toys, aimed for the kids; and something that fires plastic missiles. I’m cooking and feel this thing bounce off of my head, lol, actually hurt a little, (Might be cause it hit the side still healing), but the manager was leaning through equipment on front counter laughing, whilst getting ready to fire the next missile at me, lol!! ‘A’ kept walking by, saying my name and prodding me in the arms with her finger. Safe to say I prodded her arms back, as you do in the heat of the moment (Actually, she did it all night having the male manager working with me to constantly say “Stop flirting!” Lol, sorry dude!). ‘J’, was filming me on her mobile, didn’t know until near the end of the night/shift - straight to snapchat apparently - Oh great!! Actually, she was filming me flirting with ‘A’ and vice versa, guessing that went to ‘LK’, lol, cos he came in around 5am, which everyone was surprised at, as he’s usually extremely late!! Maybe he felt threatened with me working with ‘A’. Don’t know why, can’t ever go out with her; and I’m pretty sure even she realises that, as she knows my age, but I’ll continue on that thought in a minute when I discuss the train journey home! ‘J’ even shouted a few times, “Do you have any haribo? You can drop to one knee and present ‘A’ with a ring; and ask her to marry you, lol!!” Yeah, like that’s going to happen - wrong person! Not that I’m _ever_ likely to see that person again, to even go out with them, let alone anything else! Still, soft idiot here (Whilst being secretly filmed for snapchat) said out loud, “No haribo, but if you really want a ring, I can buy a sugar doughnut and present that to you, lol?!!” Actually, in the moment of fun, laughs and madness, ‘A’ actually went “Yeaaah, get me it now; and drop to your knee!” Oh dear Lord, lol. Back to the shift and yeah, I have the grill from hell to clean. 1st time I’ve ever cleaned it in all of the 3 years that we’ve had the beast! Never seen so many parts to detach, compared to the old style grill we have standing next to it. That one is similar in design to the grills we had in the other stores I worked at, so a 15 minute job. This beast took me nearly an hour to strip down and clean, arf!! Still, the manager that was on with me, ‘DF’ (That also leaves next week to join the Civil Service - lucky man), said it was the best 1st time clean he’d ever seen, and kept commenting on the cleanliness to the morning staff on well, “That’s how the grill should look like, when cleaned!” Yeah, we all saw the disgraceful pictures on the salaried manager’s mobile last week on how it _shouldn’t_ look!! Don’t know who cleaned it then, but can think of several things Gordon Ramsay would say on seeing it!! After that, I finished about 10 minutes after my colleagues, not before ‘A’ asks in front of ‘LK’ if I’m getting the train home? Well yeah, it’s like one stop to me area; and two for my colleague, with the station less than 10 metres from our workplace! Yeah, you could see the jealousy on the dudes face, lol, O-M-G!! Haha. Clocked off, went to get my things from the crew room, got around 20 mins to wait before we can go together for the train; and even though we were just talking normally in that room, ‘LK’ was stood right outside the door trying to listen in!! WTF, seriously dude, go away. Maybe I should of told him she was too good for him; and he needed to go to Amsterdam. Oh wait, he’s been already! So we go to leave; and that’s when he tries to make out he wasn’t hiding around the corner of the door, lol, sorry, I open doors when you least expect it; and in a way that you’ll be caught out, hehe. Made me and ‘A’ laugh out loud to be honest, along with the “Byeeeee, ‘LK’!” From both of us, lol. As we go to leave the building, ‘L’ (Our mixer tap friend) shouts over at us both, “No flirting on the train you two!” Which I was quick to respond with, “No flirting with ‘LK’ on shift, ‘A’ will get upset!” lol. Certainly made ‘A’ laugh. Got the train, sat opposite each other; and that’s when she told me how much this guy has been trying to go out with her. He asked her to go to the cinema with her last week, then she told me, which I didn’t know, that he was 30. I actually thought he was around 24/5, wow. ‘A’ is 18, so yeah, explains why she’s not interested in him; and also why I can’t go out with her either, not that I like her in that way anyhow, we’re just friends!! But yeah, that was last night, bid her a farewell/nice sleep before tonights antics and got off of the train. Went and did a tad of shopping 1st, before going home; and when I got onto the PC, sent ‘A’ a message that I’d bought the Haribo for tonight, hahaha!! Yeah, for the purposes of entertainment, I may actually have to present her with a jelly ring, whilst on one knee. Can just see the text message I’ll get from ‘LK’ now, lol!! I suppose this could be a spot of payback for the months of harassment he threw my way when I was on shift with ‘X’. Told you, bad things always come back on the people that hurt me/those I care for! Mones/neroli I could still smell on arriving at home, light, but clearly present. In work, it seemed to die off to a subtle scent as the hours passed, but I guess the extra dabs of hedione gave for a better reaction, well, certainly was entertaining for once, had a blast all night!! So, tonight. Hedione with be on, probably the same amount, not decided yet. Actually, feck it, probably do equal amounts both sides, via a cotton wool ball - 28 drops maybe, (14 each side)?!! Let’s face it, I had 24 drops on last night, what’s 4 more extra drops to one side, eh?!! Ammo SE and IO/IShine to the usual spots! Wish I had P96, lol. Probably going to be using caution around the manager ‘C’, this was the one at the xmas venue that well, remember ‘X’ was watching my actions from the opposite side of the table! Yeah, do kind of regret doing that one, but between the blue capsule of herbal mess making me feel like some extraterrestrial being, the alcohol; and that crazy a$$ mix of mones I made up and was wearing, it was no surprise that I did what I did, wasn’t thinking, was just braver than normal and thinking at the time of the movie American Pie, “Do you feel the breast this way, or that way, actually, what do you do?!!” lol. Still to do it right in front of ‘X’, bad move and probably didn’t leave a very good impression of me on her, still everyone knows now what happened; and as a few, even ‘C’ are friends with ‘X’, well here’s hoping at least one of them have explained it to her. …and finally, before I go off track again, I will most certainly be back on here during my break, at some point. Kind of my escape place from all the madness going on around me, so speak soon!! NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2017, 11:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/326 "2017-01-21T23:43:18Z")
Okie, in my rush around my room as the taxi approached I ended up doing 20 drops each side/ jawline. Yeah I know but as I counted up to 14, a few extra drops came out so ended up with 20 on each. Ah well let’s hope this is as good as last night, or not lol. Busiest night and we have word of one of the top bosses doing spot checks, yeah heard that many times, they never turn up, lol!! 😃 Speak later on. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2017, 4:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/327 "2017-01-22T16:09:01Z")
Well, 20 each side (40) might have been a tad excessive!! Damn my face!! It felt like I’d had a facelift, albeit I couldn’t stop smiling. Hedione oil applied to jawline, yeah, instant smiles! Maybe that’s the drying effect, lol?!! Who knows, but yeah, couldn’t stop smiling for about 5 hours!! Didn’t do the top-up usual mix after my break; and from what I could see (Me included), those of us working on the front (Battleground of the public), we all came across as being in a relaxed, calm state, despite it being absolutely packed and only 3 of us working that area - could of done with 5!! Well, the flirting was still there! Shift Manager (C) kept targeting my butt for a slap, lol. Not complaining like, but it comes when you least expect it, usually when people/customers were looking on! 🙄 (A) wasn’t as bad as the day before until around the last 2 hours of the shift when we were working on our own and the mischievousness from her began again!! 😃 Arm poking, hitting me with a brush, trying to trip me up, cancelling the computer on the drinks machine - yeah, lil’ minx!! Then last hour we ended up having a full on water fight with the spray bottles, lol. Well, I may have had more fun, as she ended up hiding in a corner, lol, bad move (A)!! 😃 Anyhow, going to go for 10 drops each side tonight (Probably be 14, as I’ve noticed 4 drops extra seem to come out as you shake it - double drops!!), plus my usual mix. Don’t know who I’m working with, whether I’m training or just doing a normal shift - normal, ha, what’s one of those??!! 😉 Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2017, 7:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/328 "2017-01-22T19:08:56Z")
Fun happy little mood I’m in right now! 🙂 So, new 2nd assistant manager is on shift- Sindy lookalike. 😉. Seems nice enough. Not doing the tiptoeing around thing that some are doing. You either like me for who I am or you don’t, simples!! Still, 1st assistant manager began her usual flirting lol ended up flicking her ponytail as you do!! Prompted Sausage to ask me out loud if I was wearing my mones, haha!! Said only my happy spray! Can only imagine if I’d said I had hedione, ammo se and my mix on!! (A) is still being a minx. Got to endure this till 2am, yay!! Back to work, post later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 7:24am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/329 "2017-01-23T07:24:31Z")
I’m having a break from the hedione tomorrow. Matter of a fact, no ammo se either!! Just gonna use my IO/IShine mix. Had one too many fingers in my ribs tonight, it’s safe to say I’m feeling it now, sat at home eating a box of nuggets, lol. 🙄 So, yeah, back to using just my happy mix/openness. Actually, probably a good idea to use just that as I’ve been told I may be overseeing a few interviewees carry out their ‘On the job evaluations’ as part of the interview stage. It’s an interesting one, you have to see if they can do the job in probably one of the most stressful areas of the whole operation, train them to do everything that we’d normally give 5-hours of training to learn said area in oh, 15 minutes!! Still, even though you do meet some right oddballs, there’s always a few that stand out from the rest; and you think to yourself, “This person will only need this training, or will work better in this area, or they have great confidence, are polite, ask questions, etc.” Man, still can’t believe Sausage blasted out in front of the new Manager and most of the staff if I was wearing my mones?? Then, went on to say I have sprays that attract girls!! Fecks sake! 🙄 Try explaining that one to someone you’ve just met an hour ago, with people who have no idea what the heck mones are, yeah, that was fun! 🙄😃 Safe to say, for a few awkward minutes that had her smiling, lol, with my head saying to me, “For God Sake NH, don’t mention the hedione in this conversation!” Yeah, that really would have been a nightmare to explain, “Oh yeah, just trying out this new oil with extract of jasmine that has tons of info as being an attractant!” But seriously, this stuff clearly affects the females, as the guys showed nothing, not one reaction around me, but the girls, jeebus, 100% flirting every single time!! 😮 Not complaining like, makes the time on shift more fun, runs better, as they’re not all doing their usual of “Can’t be bothered. I’m bored. I just want to go home!” Sayings. Drives me mad when I hear that. You come to work, to well, erm, work, not stand in a corner texting on your mobile! Anyhow, I had a lot of people pulling tongues at me, kinda looked like what a snake does, idiot here kept joining in and doing it back. I guess it’s rude not to! Kept getting winked at, lol, fingers in ribs (Again!) oh, and lots of hugs. The hugs I can cope with, not to mention in that cold place, you get to warm up in that brief moment, lol, but the rest, damn, was thinking "What the hell is going on here?!! That new manager, lol, she came over and said “Have you read my Dad’s book?” Actually I have, 4 and a half years ago when I was doing a tad of research into the franchisee that had just taken over our workplace. He’s written things for the whole Company on ‘Health and well being’, a good read I might add, but I responded with, “Yes I have, have you?!” Had to laugh at her response of “NO, lol, why would I want to read my Dad’s book?!!” I guess she has a point, but then she’s moved up the ranks of the Company to where she is now, you’d think at some point she had read it, well, she’s been following his practices for most of her career without even knowing it, lol, he wrote most of them - they’re all listed in the books!! 😃 One other thing whilst I think on. I posted a couple of days ago on my media a/c that I’d been looking at places to go on holiday/music events in the coming months. Well, here we go again, get told by the staff, “Who you going with?” Erm, just me, lol. Well hey, I’m a big boy, can go the 7/11 on my own so, a holiday shouldn’t be a problem, eh?!! 😉 So next I get, “Are you going to this place/that place because ‘X’ is going there too!” Oh for fecks sake, really??!! 😕 🙄 So, now I’m thinking of waiting to see bubbly manager to find out when, so I can book a different date. Yeah, I know fate, but let’s face it, she still has me ‘unfriended’, not spoken to her since the apartment; and the only way I’m finding out anything about her at the moment is from my work colleagues, hell bent on telling me this and that about her. Really, really don’t need to know! One of the girls even tonight started saying, “I bet you want to see ‘X’ naked on the beach, bet you think of that now!” Actually I don’t and I don’t. Got enough images going on in my head from when she worked with us/the xmas venue/apartment. Seriously, this is never ending!! 😮 Didn’t stop the same work member repeat over and over for about an hour “‘X’ naked” to the point I wanted to throttle her. Thankfully her other half came in and she was distracted on him! Starting to wonder if moving isn’t such a bad idea. Get that shirt on, transfer!! Teenagers tonight, yay, little horrors, they seriously have no respect for property or anyone. This Country is far to lenient on kids/adults, they seem to have a 3-strike rule, then just get a slap on the wrist, effectively giving them a green light to go ahead and carry on. If it was me, I’d have the kids say “Bye-bye” to their freedom as they get shipped off to military school. Did me wonders, taught me how to be respectful to everyone; and hell, you didn’t set a foot wrong, or the punishments they gave the whole class were just hell; and the last thing anyone wanted was to upset 29 other members of your class, for something you’d done, lol!! Nice to see the new manager go out and confront them all though, most managers just hide out the way, or the staff look to me to say something. Seriously made me thing about applying for the Police again, whilst I was stood outside sweeping up all the soil from the flower pots they’d smashed up, whilst trying to shout all kinds at me from the main road, yeah, like that’s going to bother me! 😃 Noticed they’re recruiting for the Specials (Voluntary) Police. Just a thought on that one, takes less time to get through the recruiting process (6 months), but with the ability to apply later on for the regular police. Already had a manager leave and do just that. Voluntary means you do a minimum of 4 hours a week, that, plus this day job, heck, get trouble and out comes the warrant card. Probably still get abuse, but hey, they get to sit in a cell for the night; and would probably think twice about upsetting me again, lol!! Stalker (D), yay, she’s back after telling me she wasn’t! Oh get this, she’s leaving again, for good, again!! Couldn’t count the darn till in the office seconds after introducing myself to the new manager in there, with the 1st assistant and another crew member present laughing, with (D) telling the new manager that I was “Her man!” Yeah right, dream on!! Manager even believed her, lol, corrected than one pretty quick, but she just wouldn’t flippin’ go away!! Kept saying, “Why are you being mean? I thought you loved me!” Erm, nope, don’t get THAT feeling with you, never will either! So yeah, when ‘D’ went to leave later on for home, she started to tell me she has a job back in Dublin and will _finally_ be going for good. Seeing is believing people!! Got a feeling she’ll be back. Even as she put her coat on, she was doing her usual, “You now I’m messing, I don’t really like you!” Comments. If I got a dime every time she did this love/hate routine… Anyhow, sitting here typing this whilst listening on loop to the new track I started last wednesday to produce. Should complete that by this coming wednesday, then off it goes to the distro company for release next month. No vocals, just can’t, sure they’re in my head, catchy too, but can’t release them. Artwork, lol, was looking at that emerald sitting there in my ‘O’, moved it up to a part on the palm tree trunk, where it hides away nicely. May have to remove it though, without vocals it doesn’t feel right. Ah well, just need to see bubbly manager so I can find out when and where I can go without bumping into ‘X’. Can see it now, I’d have my eyes shut; and she’d be heading for the hills (Or sand dunes), lol. Ah well. 🙄 Speak tonight, when I retreat to this from the mayhem of work!! NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 3:49am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/330 "2017-01-24T03:49:59Z")
Well, today, what a nice refreshing change from all the mayhem. Sure, it was busy as ever, but oh boy, did I see a big difference in just using my IO/IShine mix of happiness! Only one manager that kept pulling tongues at me, yeah I can cope with that, but no rib poking, no full on flirting, nothing, nada, zip; and you know what, I was quite happy with it! ‘D’ came in and gave in her notice. Leaving for good then! In a way, I will miss her from a work colleague point of view. She was excellent at working in all the different areas, picked up everything really well, but it was that love/hate thing she hit me with every single time I saw her, that I couldn’t put up with and won’t miss one bit when she leaves in a couple of weeks time. She’s invited me and the staff out for a night out/farewell, well actually, it’s part 2 before she goes, part one was tonight, invited to that too, but working till late. Whether I went to the 2nd one, who knows, probably be working, but in my mind, after everything that has been said and done, I just don’t know if I could go out and say “Goodbye!” Think it’ll more than likely be along the lines of the other week when she was erm, going for good, then, by saying, “Seeya,” in the workplace as she leaves! Somehow, I have this feeling that she will be back, doubt we’ve seen the last of her! Teenagers from hell were back tonight, woo…and the Franchisee’s daughter was on duty to give them hell again! I just love it when I hear the words “They’re all now barred!” Said to me. I can’t wait to see them in the street (They live in my neighbourhood); and break the great news to them! Of course, they’ll be back, trying to get served, always do, but unlucky for them threatening the owner’s daughter without even knowing who she is, lol. 😃 My friend the Shift Manager, the fecker. Now I have another image of ‘X’ stuck in my head. For some reason this one is displaying big on my ‘daily’ memory area, gawd knows how I’m going to get rid of this, been doing my nut in for the past 5 hours. Can’t complain, nice picture, but he started asking the stupid line of questions that the others keep asking, over the past few days of am I going to this place/that place because ‘X’ will be there. Erm, 1st off, I didn’t know she was going, 2nd, erm, nope!! Did say knowing my luck/fate she’d probably be on the same plane or worst still, we’d be sat in seat next to one another. Or, even worse still (If you could call it bad) the same hotel, eek!! Really gonna need to see bubbly manager ‘R’ to find out when she’s flying out, so I don’t end up there at the same time, if I indeed get to go, even!! 🙄 But yea, so my lovely friend. I basically had to walk away, could feel that feeling that I was gonna crack up again. How the hell am I still feeling that? It’s been nearly 2 months since ‘X’ left and the slightest thing, I want to go take myself off to some quiet corner out of the way of everyone! ☹ So my friend, comes bounding down to the back of the store with his phone and says “Have you seen this?” Soft idiot looks, asking, “Seen what?” Yeah, there’s picture #1 that he’s pulled up off of her media a/c and is now displaying it on his phone!! 😮 I immediately turn away, saying “Jeebus Chr\*\*t ‘S’, I’ve got a photographic memory, don’t be showing me that! Not to mention, she clearly unfriended me for a reason, maybe to not see those images!” Fecker ran away laughing. Minutes later, with my back turned, he’s back again trying to show me what was on the phone, guessing another image/s he’s found, but I got my eyes shut damn quick and turned away so didn’t see it! Stayed the hell out of his way for the remainder of the shift, about 40 mins. Then when he went to cash me up, I had to recall most of the shift, as I had only a few draw changes and he kept going into the wrong part of the computer system. Probably the worst thing I could of done, as within a few minutes of clocking off, that image he’d shown me, by now an hour before, was right there, right were I recall and hold all the stuff I need on a daily basis. Thinking now how and where do I move this to, cos my memory seems to have enlarged it somewhat, feck! ☹ I know I keep saying it but, grrr, I really hate having this photographic memory!! I’ll end up paranoid if I ever see her in the street, can just see it coming. I’ll probably run off in sheer panic, or something similar. …Here we go, mammoth essay. My mind is a wandering!! 🙄😉 So, another 2 rest days. Got to wait till midnight wednesday to see what I get on payday. Might go for what I got on the last order, saying that, could do with the ‘Zombified’ mix, lol. 😃 Got about 8-10 sprays of my happy vibe mix left, eek, and almost half the 2-Go bottle of Ammo SE left. Not something I want to use standalone in work, but it’s either that, or go back to lynx. Oo, saying that, might get a can of ‘Peace’ and see if those other test reports on that other site I posted about are accurate about the Lynx ‘Peace’ product, or not, lol. I have the ‘Dark’ version at the moment, and can safely say is smells like an ageing old neroli scent, not bad, but not as sweet as AD’s neroli 6% scent. Right, 3:48am. Time for some food! Speak Wednesday/Thursday, unless anyone comes in and comments. 😉 NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2017, 7:10am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/331 "2017-01-25T07:10:25Z")
Might appear to be offline for a few days, as I may only be able to check-in from work! Last week, after the usual ‘Microsoft update Tuesday’ sent me a lovely stealth update (I have the settings set to dload/choose what to install), were by they seemed to have bypassed my choice of what to choose to install, going by the history section, I noticed my PC had begun to act weird. Saw sense to do a massive back-up which took 3 days to transfer everything to an external drive. Well, yesterday morning, my 3TB HDD gave up the ghost!! I’m kind of in luck as I have an SSD drive in this PC; and a Win 8.1 64Bit disk that I put to one side to upgrade my mom’s pc, until I discovered she needed a whole bunch of new hardware to get it installed - 32Bit for her instead! 😉 Anyhow, the SSD is only 128Gb, so, once I get it up and running, this PC will be an internet only machine until I buy a new HDD. Reason I might be offline, I have hundreds of MS updates to install (Not looking forward to reinstalling them all over again with a new HDD, but needs must!), currently at 35% and been running for the last 6 hours already, yeah, it’s gonna be one long day today!! 🙄 So, I’ll probably be on fumes by Sunday; and erm, I’m thinking to myself, do I get an HDD or head into the AD store, lol!! 😃 Think I might go into the store and buy something small, even if its just my IO/IShine supplies, can’t go without those, done it a few times in the past; and I really do notice the difference! 😉 Oo, 37%! At least I haven’t lost any of my music files, learnt a valuable lesson on that from a few years back, always good to perform regular back-ups. So yeah, will see you when I see you next, hopefully tomorrow when I go back to work, lol!! NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2017, 12:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/332 "2017-01-26T00:16:22Z")
Well, I may have found a way around the Hard drive problem - I’m installing all my programs onto a new External drive. 🙂 Just to be on the safe side in case the back-up external drive goes down, I’m sending everything to my 2 servers, can’t be too safe, can’t be losing 6 years of music files! Plus side, apple, etc appear to have backed up most of my files on their ‘Cloud’ servers, so once the program is reinstalled, the files seem to be automatically downloading as they were, yes!! 🙂 So, that brings me to my worry earlier of putting off a purchase in favor of a new drive - nah, looks like if I can get around the problem; and it looks like I can, then I’ll be in a better position to buy new stuff. 🙂 Anyhow, got all kinds of weird pop-ups and notifications appearing on my screen since this fresh install, lol, going to have to go into the settings and disable a few things before I go nuts!! 😃 Haven’t built a PC in 10 years, since a course I did at Uni to well, end my boredom of sitting at home on a couple of rest days from work. Its been a fun few days fault finding and looking for those all important drivers that M$ couldn’t find, but I guess by the weekend I should be kind of, back to normal again. I’m in work in less than 8 hours, yep, back to being unable to sleep. Might be down to still seeing that photo ‘S’ showed me on his phone, yeah not happy about that, gonna have to keep well away when I see him on his mobile. Bet ‘X’ wouldn’t be too pleased if she knew, not that I’m ever going to be able to tell her, but still, I don’t know what possessed him to go to her media a/c to show me images of her, other than to entertain himself/those others on shift with him. Still, going to put on my usual mix tomorrow. Will probably have the Ammo SE with me, but will decide whether to put it on or not when I get there. 😉 **Edit:** Just seen the schedule. ‘S’ and our least favourite manager are in, arf! Might actually throw on the hedione and have a day of mind games, see how they like it! 😉 I’ll post on my break, off to look at the store. 🙂 NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 6:58am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/333 "2017-01-27T06:58:18Z")
_Touch wood_ SSD is holding up and every other program thus far reinstalled, is running well on the external drives. Not looking forward to reinstalling/testing my VSTi synth works via external though, it contains 816GB of preset files, lol!! Anyhow, couldn’t get online in work yesterday - iffy WiFi. Saying that, I changed my mind and went with 7 (Actually 11) dabs of hedione to the jawline/back of my neck/each side and on getting to work, 2 sprays of Ammo SE (Adam’s apple/back of neck) and only 1 spray of my IO/IShine mix (Adam’s apple). Well, after 2 days of no sleep, safe to say the lack of it was beginning to show/take effect. My IShine mix, was just working. Could probably have done with my usual 3 sprays; and would of lasted without problem, but this thing is getting seriously low!! So, after my break, I didn’t do an extra shot of it and within an hour of work, had to, it was a case of having to, otherwise I think I would of dropped off on front counter; and that would of been a serious (What’s wrong with this dude?!) issue for my colleagues!! Can’t be having that; and it’s been self inflicted to try and get this PC up and running - had my 4 hours now, it’s coming up to 4am and I’m not back until midday!! So, yesterday. Yesterday was fun. Got to show just how good my memory is to our least favourite shift manager, hehe - but I’ll get to that soon!! Late for work by 8 minutes, yeah misread my start time, thought it was 8am, was in fact 7:45am, argh!! Running around my room like a loon trying to get the WiFi to connect to my iPod so that I could get onto the taxi app (Only way at that time of the morning to get a cab quickly), yeah that was fun!! Had my FTP program running a back-up to one of my servers so it was hogging my connection somewhat - 1.70mb upward, yeah, not very fast, but then it isn’t fiber so no surprising there! My mix seemed to be doing it’s usual of getting me hugged by sausage, even though she claimed she was tired, didn’t stop her on passing every time stopping to hug me. Closed my eyes, made me think I was collapsed on a giant bean bag, (Don’t ask me why?), but it felt good! Our least favourite manager, she was in her usual bad mood throwing paperwork around, dishing out her orders that we kind of already know; and were in the process of doing, if she took 5 seconds to open her gawd damn eyes, use them and realise it!! 🙄 Told me to tell the staff to put in ‘hair nets’, funny that, as she hardly ever wears one, yet her hair makes medusa’s head of snakes look like it had just been given an expensive session at the hair salon; and let’s face it, the environmental health laws over here state that you either wear a hat, or hair net when working with food! Hmm, she must think she’s an exception to the rules!! Anyhow, I tell all the staff, even give them the nets, only for grumpy to say “I’ve told you to tell ‘T’ to put in a hair net!” Responded with, “Yeah, I have told her, even given her one to put in.” Well, she flung the ring that contains all the nets at me like a Frisbee and tells me to go and tell her again, lol. Bite your lip time here NH, karma is coming to this one!! 😃 Took another shot of ammo (Adam’s apple) and went back. Must of done something, as each time I now went near grumpy; and she went to say something, you could see it in her face of thinking “Whoa, what’s going on here?!!” look, lol. Made her back right off, calm down around me, so yeah, that was a relief. Didn’t stop her from occasionally taking off on the other staff though, until I went near, yeah, that stopped her in her tracks again, hehe - stop picking on my colleagues grumpy, they’re working the ar$es off; and you aren’t giving them the appreciation they deserve!! 😠 For some reason, even though my body is feeling like it wanted to sleep; and every now and then I’d yawn, my head was still very much active!! Seemed to be able to spot things that needed doing without actually looking, despite it taking a few extra seconds for my body to play catch-up, lol, poor thing!! Ah well, my usual sleep time has now sorted that issue out, albeit I’m now sat here with food and baileys, whilst sat over an electric blow heater, cos it must be cold outside, my room is cold for once, lol!! So grumpy starts handing out training sheets were by we have to ask questions to the staff members about specific areas of the workplace, see if they know what to do correctly and safely. Most don’t as stupid people just say “Sign here, you’ve passed!” and that causes problems in the long run, as the computer that does the scheduling thinks they are then trained in that area, when they haven’t a clue, or even done one day there; and schedules them to work that position!! 😮 So, my friend, zee manager, (That I gave a few choice words to when he came onto shift, for leaving me with that lovely image of ‘X’ embedded in front of me for the past 3 days - yeah thanks m8, the image is that close, I could almost kiss her, yet she ain’t real, it’s an image! ☹ ). He’s stood filling out all these training sheets, (Yeah as I said, the “Sign here, you’ve passed method!”), whilst ignoring the customers stood in front of his till waiting to be served - no worries, you can all form a nice queue and come to me instead!! You see, this is what happens when grumpy starts off about ‘training’, you end up that focused on pleasing her and making sure that the paperwork gets filled in to _her_ standards, that everything you are supposed to be doing, are paid to do, goes right out the window!! For me though, the ammo must be bloomin’ potent, (even though I can’t sense it as I’m too darn tired!) as the female customers are getting too flirty with me, lol, making the male customers seem slightly pished that they have to wait just that little bit longer! Not complaining like, makes a change from all the hugging (Mainly sausage), but yeah, it was a tad strange trying to get them to go move away from my till, they just seemed to want to stay and chat, every time I served them!! 3 ammo might have been a bad move, yet, on the plus side, it was keeping grumpy at bay around me, so the balance was needed!! Next, grumpy has a training sheet for me, yeah, she’s testing me, lol, hahaha!! 🆒 Time for some fun, cos despite me telling her; and pretty much everyone I work with, that I have a photographic memory, up until this point, I guess grumpy didn’t believe me, lol!! So this thing is on deliveries; and well, until you complete this training sheet and get the required 80% pass rate, which is the score for all the training sheets apart from health and safety and food hygiene were by you have to get 100%, I’m now being asked all the complex questions and literally just rattling them off right back at her, lol!! Matter of a fact, to pee her off some more, I decided to read everything on the darn sheet to her; and as she looks on in shock, as I’m staring out to the vast expansion of the dining area, she’s like “How the heck are you able to know all this?” Simples, “I have it projected on the walls across the room from me, hence why I’m looking over there and not at you, sorry!” 😛 So, I get a line of customers; and then on finishing serving, I say, “Right last bit, let’s complete it!” Only the response I get is, “I’ve completed it already, marked you down on one question?” Erm, how, not answered that section yet - here we go, the filling in without asking method!! So, I ask, “What is it you’ve marked me down on, as you haven’t asked me about the last 3 sections, yet?!!” So, she goes, “Oh, it’s the bit no one ever gets…” and proceeds to say, without the answers, the gaps for stacking boxes, food, etc in the freezer. Well, I don’t think she quite knew what to say, as I just rattled off, “Oh, that’s easy - 3, 5, 15 and 30!” hahaha. 😃🆒 Her face! Her face was a flippin’ picture of shock and surprise, lol, yeah back off from the one with the photographic memory!! 😛 So after a few minutes, I look over the sheet and see she had crossed of her little mistake of saying I didn’t know the answer and given me 100% pass mark, hehe - that’ll teach you!! She didn’t give me any grief for the remainder of the shift, if anything, she spent most of it in the office telling the 1st assistant how shocked she was at my nice memory, lol. Well, hey, I may act dumb at times (Because let’s face it, no one likes a smart ar$e), but when you start taking the pish, out comes the guns; and you’re gonna go down, sorry!! So yeah, after that, the shift seemed to go pretty darn quickly, can’t complain, lol. The AD Store. Yeah, didn’t really get to look at it as much as I would of liked yesterday. Also didn’t expect to see that chat box appear with Emma, asking if I wanted to chat? I guess that’s the standard chat box that appears now, but still. in my tired state of mind, it had me in a panic for a few minutes thinking I’d accidentally opened up a 2-way conversation with Emma and didn’t actually want to speak with her, lol. Safe to safe that wasn’t the case, the opening of the convo, not wanting to talk, lol - Sorry Emma, if you see this, I’m sure you are a lovely person. 🙂 I guess I’ll do that one day, in the near future, just not yet! So store, yeah. I’ve just put in a really small order, no stealth’s in this one, sorry. Money as you can probably figure is tight on this payday, pah, but I _HAVE_ to have something, as I cannot go without IShine, it just keeps me going regardless!! I’ve ordered 3 products only! TUTH 2-Go IO 2-Go IShine 30ml Thought I’d go with the 30ml and decide on the next order whether or not I need any more IShine, or can use the money towards something else, like a stealth product, maybe! Anyhow, time to sit back and wait; and use what mones I have left, sparingly!! Got another invite to an event in March, someone that used to work with us. Actually, thinking back, it was the one that harassed the cr\*p out of me on those 2 night shifts kissing my neck; and having me run around the building like a lunatic to get away from her, lol, (Recap: Page 11, Posts #105 and #107). Yeah, that’ll teach me for not paying attention in my hurry to get to work; and putting on the wrong mones!! So yeah, she’s 21, wow, thought she may already be that, frightening that I don’t know the ages of those I work with, considering I’ve worked with some for over 8 years!! Okie, I kinda don’t like asking, even though they nearly all know my age, it’s just some things you don’t ask, ladies in particular. You just get that, “Why do you want to know my age?!” Look; and the, “Are you asking cos you fancy me?” Face, which in most cases isn’t why I’m curious, lol, hell if they’re gonna ask you for your age, at least they can be nice and respond with theirs, or not, as I tend to find, lol!! Anyhow, time to go do other things, like continue installing stuff. Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 1:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/334 "2017-01-27T13:27:00Z")
Haters must be bored today, I’m their entertainment! Yay! Last day of one of our managers and they’ve started with the, “Oh, is that why NH is getting promoted, no one else to ask to replace you with!” So, here we go again. You know the majority are fine, it’s just these few; and they make what could be a good day, a long, hard miserable day!! Think I will go with plan B and start looking elsewhere. Fed up having managers stick me in the same positions day in day out. Was told by salaried a month a go I’d be put into other areas to get ready for the move up. Hasn’t happened! Get the feeling I’m just moving up because there’s no one else, certainly seems to be how the conversations with the others seem to be commenting! Fed up now! Love the job, but the endless negativities thrown my way almost daily is literally doing my head in!! So, only have 1 spray of my mix on, going back with another spray and ammo se. Wish me luck, got another 5 hours of this to put up with!! Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2017, 2:58am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/335 "2017-01-28T02:58:13Z")
The ‘haters’ left about an hour after I returned from my break - yes!! Applied another 2 sprays of Ammo SE and 1 spray of my mix. 😉 Stressful day though, clearly it was a payday weekend (End of month) for all the UK, queues to the door, queues all the way around the Drive-Thru, oh, yeah, it was busy!! Stalker (D) was in, yay, not. Kept out of her way as best I could, as she was doing her usual “I love you!” Comments direct to me in front of all the staff/managers! Yeah right, we all know that’s not true, so why keep saying it?!! (A) came in and we worked as a team again. Love working with her, it’s like you don’t have to ask/tell her what to do, what needs doing, she just uses her initiative, spots it; and gets on with it! Great personality, gets on with everyone; and has great manners to the customers! 🆒 Saying that, she started doing her flirting thing with me, like on the night shift, kind of got the other staff joining in, with some weird comments, lol. One 18 year old said I was her dad!! 😮 (D), was her mom and (A) was her aunt - O-K!! 😕 Sausage, lol, oo, she decided to refuse to do what I asked of her, take a hold out to a customer’s vehicle! Actually, she walked away, and unlucky for her, I reported the incident to the 1st assistant. I’m sorry, but you want to refuse to do as asked, well, game on, you’re going to feel my wrath! Safe to say, moments later, she was pulled up at the back of the store by the manager who laid into her - saw it all!! They’re going to have to learn, sure I’ll help out as a team member, but if I ask them to do something, I expect it done, as let’s face it, she wasn’t doing anything other than talking about her new partner to staff. As soon as I asked her to go outside, she point blank refused and wandered off! God help them if I ever get made a shift manager, as they’ll be getting their coat on going home if they refuse. We’re not here to feck about and use our phones, we’re here to do a job. You can do playtime in your own time or on your break, don’t care, but when I ask of something, it’s not up for question. I guess some are testing the waters, and it’s not something they want to do. I don’t like raising my voice, but if I have to, then so be it; and god help you if I do. I turn into Chef Ramsay and will rip you a new one for being disrespectful, or trying to be lazy!! Safe to say, on her finally finishing her shift and leaving, she apologised, asked if we were still friends and gave me a hug on saying we were, but I made it very clear, if I ask of anyone to do something, I don’t expect to be ignored and have that person/s walk off to do their own thing. Seemed to except it, so hopefully lessons learned and she’ll do as ask in future! Kids from hell came, again, Police called again. 12 brats causing mayhem outside, if only we were allowed to use pepper spray, as I’d make up a batch of my scotch bonnets and make them be respectful to all!! Ah, the twins were in, hehe. Why am I the only person in the whole store that can work out which is which, lol?!! Head tells me every single time, don’t ask me how; and even they are shocked at me getting their names right 1st time, every time, lol. Manager stuck the two of them side by side in the tropics - well, if you can call it that, lol. They’ve installed a massive heater in there as the one we got installed just isn’t coping to give us heat in this cold weather!! Still waiting to see some snow, where the heck is it?!! Bet it’s because I have my sledge waiting to go and be used, lol. Told (C) that she would be happy if I brought it into work. Handle that comes up between your legs resembles something a male has, lol. Still, wondering when the heck I’ll get to use it?!! Hell, we’re still in January, feels like this year is dragging already, lol, not complaining like!! 😃 So, I’m guessing the extra application of ammo and my mix has begun to make everyone flirty around me! ‘C’ came off her break and immediately slapped my butt, here we go. ‘A’ is also being flirty; and the staff are telling me to back off as “She has a fella!” Erm, no she doesn’t; and nope, not interesting in going out with her, although the mones are doing what they’re supposed to do and making me both happy and bouncy, whilst the Ammo/IO was making them come out more, be flirty more, lol. Started getting random hugs, okie, not going to complain or reject them, but damn, we’re too busy for this right now, lol!! ‘D’ is going mental as she isn’t getting any attention/affection from me, sorry, you’re not my type - Bye Felicia!! 😛 Anyhow, somehow I stayed on an extra hour - too darn busy to go; and well, the place looked like a bomb had hit it, so offered to stay to get it sorted. Night shifts, Saturday and Sunday, yay. Someone doesn’t like me, as they are the worst two days to work nights! I’ll just throw this new tune I’m working on in my head and get on with it, as always!! Schedule next week is up, yes!! Bubbly manager (R) is in next Saturday when I’m in! Haven’t seen her for over a month; and she is the one I need to pass this pen drive I have in front of me to!! 🆒 Got a feeling I’ll end up showing her this journal. Let’s face it, she’s only one of 2 in there that I would, other than ‘X’, whom really should see it. Page 26, the contents in 2 posts there, questionable to let them see it, but it would open their eyes somewhat as to why I am the way that I am! ‘R’ is probably the friendliest manager I have had the pleasure to work with, always a joy; and I look forward to working on her shifts. So let’s get the hell out of dodge and talk about what happened on leaving work for the train home!! Well, ‘D’ (My stalker) ended up on the same train as me, actually we had a nice 4 minutes to wait for the darn thing, what am I saying nice for, lol?!! 🙄 Couldn’t even get over the bridge to the opposite platform without her asking me why I was walking away from her; and didn’t I like her?!! Really?!! 🙄 Safe to say I said we’re just friends, which then she responded with the usual, “I know we are, I’m just messing with you on shift. I don’t really like you, but when I say that I do in front of everyone, you go quiet!” Yeah of course I do, I have all the images of you doing the love/hate cr_p on full display in front of me. Everything you say, is on recall!! So, I’m trying hard not to look at her; but am getting nervous as she keeps inching closer and closer towards me!! 😮 Subject change time - “When is your night out?” Response, “It’s next Thursday, are you coming?!” God, I’m only in work till 5pm; and I’m stupid enough to tell her that!" 😮 I get the feeling that if I went out she’d target me, and that just isn’t something I want to happen, but what I wasn’t expecting to hear was ‘D’ then say, “You know I kissed ‘S’ on the last night out? Wasn’t anything in it, just something you do when drunk!” Really? This would be A.L.F. she was referring to! Deffo opposites attract there; and his brother is the one trying to date ‘A’! 🙄 Train arrives, we get on; and sit down together (Opposite seats); and ‘D’ carries on with the “Why don’t you like me,” comments. Seriously, I’m getting tired of hearing this now! Safe to say, I tried as best I could to get through to her that I wasn’t interested. If it was ‘X’ in front of me, I’d be asking what exclusive place she would like me to take her on a date, but not this person. A week left in work and all she said all night to me was “Do you want to be my boyfriend for the week?!” Chr_st NO!! I’m thinking the ammo is playing its part here; and doing its attraction thing!! Anyhow, the convo went back to that wedding reception, time to do another recall and tell her what she did. Surprised she couldn’t remember, but she tried to make out that she’d only been in her relationship for a couple of weeks - really, you told us all it was a year; and even posted that fact as part of an anniversary night out on your social media news feed - more lies!! Told her I’d deleted the video of her kissing our (Now left) work colleague and the partner of the other colleague, to which she said she couldn’t remember, but said it’s what you do when you’re drunk! Safe to say I said, “No, not really! If you have someone, then they come first over everything, you don’t then go and kiss anyone; and everyone, then blame it on the drink, doesn’t work like that!” She tried to tell me she told the guy the next day, she didn’t though it was 3 days later, as she told me on doing it. How can anyone do that when they’re in a relationship, just can’t work that one out, but it’s one thing I wouldn’t do if I ever went out with someone - find that one person, love them and treat them with respect forever!! So, 2:34am, I’ve probably written another mammoth essay; and that could be down to the half bottle of baileys I’ve drank since starting to type this, lol. No idea whom I’m working with tonight, but it’s a payday weekend, so gonna be busy; and therefore I’m going into work with a nice big dose of hedione!! Ando email came earlier to say the order is processed and the waybill has been issued. Some time next week I guess the order will be dispatched seeing as it’s all the ‘Instant’ range, can’t come quick enough lol. Here’s hoping I can get that night off in March for that event of the ex-work colleague. Hopefully no neck kissing, lol, but she’s a nice friend and I would love to go to her party, hell, I’d certainly put an order in for P96 if I knew I was able to go, lol, along with a few stealth’s just for the hell of fun entertainment - MX597, oh yes, I’d so have that out with me. Actually, on my travels, I’ve seen a spray version of that, might be fun to try out both and see which comes out best!! Right, enough of my waffling. Back tomorrow with whatever crazy potion mix I put on. **Edit:** OK, wow, shipment has been ‘Picked up’ and is on its way!! Arrival sometime on Monday, yippee, I’m off then so time to not care too much about running out of my mix over the weekend, hehe!! Time to keep and eye out on my mobile for that customs fee whatever that might be, hehe. Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 5:28am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/336 "2017-02-01T05:28:13Z")
Didn’t get a chance to post Saturday, what with the busy night shift; and a member of staff asking me to swap his 5pm - 2am shift for my Sunday night shift. Anyhow, Saturday was a good night, busy, but good! Had 7 (Actually, 11) drops of hedione each side of the back of my neck and jawline - 22 drops in total. Yeah, I’m still getting 4 drops extra when I stop shaking the bottle. I guess I will get used to it, just used to spray bottles! Had 2 sprays of ammo and 2 sprays of my mix. Break started no sooner than I arrived, as it usually does on the night shift, otherwise you don’t get one as there’s no one to cover you!! Man, what fun we had in there, never laughed so much. Back to speaking my mind like wearing IH without actually wearing it, but my head would engage to what was being said and react almost instantly to some random comment that had those present, fall about in laughter! 😃 So, the new manager (L) was working the night shift shadowing the other 2nd assistant that she is to replace when he leaves. Really nice person, but then, so are her parents, my franchisees!! I must have worked every station going, kind of had to, but the one IShine seemed to be just about holding me together. Saying that, the hedione oil mix was making my face feel like I was having another one of those face lift moments, lol. Can’t really complain, as everything makes me feel really happy (Mones/Hedione)!! Speaking of (L), I got a bit of a shock! Would seem that the staff have been talking about me writing/producing music. Turns out she performs as a vocalist at events, weddings, even funerals! Made a joke to one of my colleagues when she said ‘Funerals’ that we know who to book for the entertainment when we kick the bucket, lol!! Anyhow, (L) has shown interest that she would like to record vocals with me! Wow, what can I say to that?!! You know, finding good vocalists is hard these days. I stick with only a handful I’ve known for a few years, pay them how they want to. Some ask for royalty shares (A % of the sales), others just want a one-off payment for their time, I don’t mind how they want it, but (L) said she does it as a hobby, doesn’t want paying, say what?!! 😮 Could never do that, we’ve all learnt the hard way over the years for doing things for free/favours; and it gets you nowhere. So, my dilemma at the moment is do I start writing vocals again, as everything that has come to mind in the last few months has made me think of ‘X’ and I’m trying my darn hardest (Which I’m finding impossible to do) to forget her. That’s the main reason I’ve only being doing instrumental tracks this past month. Gonna have to seriously think before I go down that road. It’s great having strangers (albeit I know them) perform a track, but to have someone you know/work with, I just don’t know. Will see in the coming weeks, as I’m finishing off the track I mentioned a couple of weeks back, no vocals on that one! Back to Saturday… Got a few DIHL looks when serving on the counter and even when taking holds out. Had 3 girls in a (London style) cab want to talk to me for what felt like an age on taking their order to them. Deffo getting a hit from the ammo/hedione there I thought?!! Friendly all 3 of them, but too young in my mind. Taxi driver wan’t too pleased, lol, ended up reversing all of a sudden with the door still slid open - what an idiot, the girl closest to me nearly fell out, but it prompted me to return back to work, back to the mayhem inside!! …So, Sunday, jeebus, thought my body was never gonna let me go to sleep after the fun night shift before. Still managed to get my 4 hours in and wake around midday when I had to do a repair job on a wall socket for our immersion heater. Tell you, the dude that had the house before us had no idea about installing stuff!! Plug socket in there, surprised it didn’t start a fire. Not only was it incorrectly wired and not even earthed properly, but when the socket failed it literally tore a hole through the face plate!! 😮 Still, I’ve put a new enclosure on there, all new wiring to the heater and it was back up and running within 20 mins. Glad I did an electricians course years ago, its come in handy for so many situations over the years! 🆒 Back to that 5pm shift. Well, watching the tracker for DHL on route from Beverley Hills for erm, Germany, I thought “Sod it!” No need to worry about using up what I had left in the 2-Go’s, it’ll be here sometime on Monday! Yeah, was my head active or what. I was wearing 11 drops of hedione each side of the back of my neck and jawline - 22 drops in total plus, 3 sprays of Ammo SE and 3 sprays of my IO/IShine mix, all 3 sprays to the same application points - 2 sprays either side of my Adam’s apple, 1 spray to the back of my neck!! ‘A’ was in. God dammit she was mischievous! I think she was deliberately doing things in front of me wrong, for me to spot it; and corrective coach her on how they should correctly be done! Nightmare. Yeah, she kept laughing and saying, “I’ll do it next time!” Then 30 mins or so later she’d repeat the task, do it correctly, but on passing me she’d say, “See, I told you I would do it next time!” 🙄 Had one of our annoying Floor Managers repeatedly tell me to “Ask her out!” Yeah, think we’ve established that’s not going to happen, still, think the extra sprays were making her more responsive than previous shifts and well, I seemed more alert/active than normal. To be honest, I felt a little mischievous myself! Kind of had to keep my eyes in the back of my head, as every time she went by, she’d go for my ribs. Think it’s safe to say they (The female staff), now all know I’m highly ticklish, gawd!! ☹ ‘D’ came in with an ex-member of staff doing her usual, of “Here’s my husband/my man!” No really, I’m not!! Then, she proceeded to hug everyone; and then make a point in front of the staff as to why I hadn’t also hugged her, as apparently everyone else had?!! Erm, no they hadn’t; and I responded with, “‘S’ (A.L.F.) is in the store cupboard. Want me to get him so you can give him a hug?” lol, that went well! 😛 ‘S’ (A.L.F.) is the manager she kissed on her last night out, last week. Anyhow, call me stupid, but I went and gave her a hug, well she did have her arms out and our ex-colleague was stood next to her wondering why I wouldn’t do as asked. Well, that was a bad move, although it made me very aware that the hedione was working, despite me not being able to smell any scent at all, apart from a light hint of neroli! ‘D’ grabbed a hold and wouldn’t let go; and proceeded to rest her cheek right next to where I’d put the hedione/ammo on the back of my neck. Full hit of the mones right there! Strange thing though, as soon as I moved away to go back to work, she proceeded to tell me that she was back with her ex-boyfriend - O-K! Asked if he was going with her to Ireland, which she said he was; I proceeded to wish them both luck. Well, here we go again, more mind games!! 😠 After 10 minutes, when most of the staff were out of view, getting stock, etc, she comes out with, “You know I said I was getting back with my boyfriend, well, I’m not! Not spoken to him since I broke up with him (Think it was the other way around!).” But seriously, WTF?? 😮 She went not long after that, I kept myself far away. ‘L’ was on the night shift again, shadowing our other manager again. Every time she stood next to me, she would start singing along to the radio. Don’t know if she was picking up on the IShine/IO mones, was auditioning, or both, lol?!! Still gobsmacked that she wants to sing on my tracks. Finding female vocalists these days is pretty hard; and even when you do find them, they throw so many Royalty contracts at you, by the time the paperwork is completed, you think, “Maybe, I should of just made the track vocal-free!” Male vocalists, it’s just a breeze to work with them! Send them the files, listen to a low quality version that they produce, say “Yay” or “Neigh” or suggest any changes, pay them/fill out any contracts; and then take ownership of the ‘high’ quality vocals. But still, I’ve been trying to hide away from creating any more vocal tracks, as every time I think of vocals, I end up thinking of ‘X’; and that makes everything real darn hard!! ☹ DHL came around 6pm (Monday), so my 30ml IShine and 2-Go’s of TUTH and IO shall be the next thing to play with. Okie, so TUTH is part of my ‘Voodoo’ mix, which I’m thinking of keeping a hold of, if I get to go to that event in March. Not too sure I want to try that one out with the hedione, in the workplace, lol or maybe just try it once. Saying that, don’t want to go down THAT road again of having my neck kissed on shift, hehe!! Albeit, that person is no longer working with us, but still, no one in there makes me feel attracted to them, just not had any kind of feeling since the morning I left with friends in the taxi from the apartment. At least I have my usual ‘Happy vibe’ mix available for Wednesday (Today), back to early shifts, arf!! ☹ Long, long days; and the new ‘Managers’ schedule next week, apparently? Hopefully!! 🙂 I leave for work in an hour, have been awake since midday yesterday, lol, and only now, does my head decide it wants to go to sleep! Might do a quick 20 minute ‘crash’, set the alarm for 6am. Actually, I will, speak later! NH ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 3:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/337 "2017-02-02T15:07:48Z")
Break time - in another store!! Went to my store with 14 hedione dabs and my IO/IShine mix to be ask 3 hours in if I could go to a store I worked in just over a year ago. Didn’t have to ask me twice, lol, as I know all of the managers there! So, going back with my mix on (3 sprays) and who knows where I’ll be working, so far everywhere other than the kitchen. 😉 Well, should also mention there was two staff members in my store quizzing me about my mones! I swear they think all mones are just some attractant, or tap water, personally, I think they’re just trying to locate my (this) journal, not a chance on that!! Bubbly manager is in on Saturday hopefully, so will try to get the pen drive to her for ‘X’. It’s the first promise I’ve ever failed to keep, so am determined to get it to her!! Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 2:32am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/338 "2017-02-03T02:32:57Z")
My Gawd, what a day!! So, as I posted above (With a few typos, as I typed it out on the iPod), I was asked to go to another store on the other side of our City to work! Should of mirrored my hours that I was scheduled to work (8am-5pm), but after being picked-up and driven by the store Business Manager, I discovered just had bad a staffing situation they were actually in! Should of had up to 20 staff in (Scheduled), only had 8 including me, as everyone else was off due to sickness!! 😮 As I said, I was working multiple areas; and my mix was making me focus really good/keep me alert to what was going on around me. Just what I needed, as the pace, due to it being of the new hi-tech system meant I had to go at a rapid pace to ensure the operation ran smoothly. It made working in the different sections of my current store, too slow; and to think that in a few months, my colleagues are expected to work with this new system when our store gets upgraded, huh, they haven’t a clue what’s in store for them!! I think many will have a meltdown, as that is how fast and focused you have to be on the job!! So, I see a group of managers stood in a group having another panic amongst themselves around 2pm about who they were going to put where at 5pm due to them waiting for a mystery shopper to come. Every store gets two a month, but we don’t know who they are and they can turn up any time within a set time period - 8am-10am, 12pm-2pm and 5pm-7pm. They can only order certain things and require a receipt as proof of the purchase. I wandered over and said that I could/would stay till 7pm if they needed me. Damn! I’ve never seen women look so darn happy, they all started hugging me and not letting go, lol. Hedione/mones hit maybe, or just pure happiness that they weren’t going to have any more stress thrown at them?!! It was almost like they’d won the lottery, lol, and I ended up working till 7pm, just as busy, with a bunch of kids outside throwing apples at vehicles passing on the main road - Police came 3 times to move them on! 🙄 Anyhow, one of the managers took me back to my store around 730pm and I walked into Armageddon!! 😮 They were short-staffed too; busy and the place looked like a bomb had hit it! Shift manager was on the point of meltdown, you could just see the look of desperation in her face. I knew within seconds of walking in and seeing how bad the situation was that I had to help; and I don’t think for one minute they thought that I would come out and say “Where do you want me? What can I do to help?” Yeah, I’m that type of guy, the one that is always trying to help! I guess you all know that already from this journal, but it had to be done; and I threw on another 6 sprays of my mix. Have to bare in mind, this is X1 strength IO/IShine, whereas my last mix since December was X2 strength, so had to do the double sprays to my usual application point. Damn, that woke me up more than when I went to the other store; and I stayed for another hour and a half. I have a feeling, I’ll be asked to go back to the other store either today, or another day this week/weekend. I don’t mind, I like it there; and most of the staff are pretty darn friendly/I’ve worked with many of them before (Non-dateable, lol, I think some would be more inclined for ONS than anything long-term!), but that new technology, that, that I think would take some getting used to! So today (Friday), I’ll be wearing double the sprays of my mix to get the X2 effect. I am noticing though, I’m back to not feeling tired! ☹ Back in at 8am today and not slept yet, arf. On that note, my 2 rest days next Wednesday/Thursday, I’m going to try out the Ylang Ylang. Wednesday, on its own. Just like the hedione test, I’ll do a skin dab test over an hour to see if there’s any reaction. If not, Thursday I’d do a mixed test with my mix; and then maybe a little hedione, but will have to see how the 1st stage testing goes before I try that out with Stage 2/3! 😃🆒 ‘D’ is out on her final night of fun in this City, leaves for Dublin (Again), for good (Again), in a few days! Last shift some time on Sunday, apparently. Think I’m in. 🙄 She’s out with ‘A’ and ‘S’ (A.L.F.) and a couple of others. Can see her and ‘S’ making out again, lol, hope so anyhow, makes her be distracted and less chance of her harassing me! 😉 Actually, I forgot to mention yesterday that she kind of got herself found out! After hugging me, and doing her usual “I love you cr\*p,” a manager told me that I should go out with her, lol - she’s leaving. But, I told the manager, “No offence, but what you see when she is around everyone is one thing, but if I had a tape recorder and went to an area on my own with her, where their were cameras, you’d be able to see/hear on playback just what she is really like to me!” Manager was like, “Nah, she likes you!” Told her what she had said about getting back with her BF; and then 10 mins later telling me they weren’t; and all the other things she has said and done over the past few months, not to mention all the other people she has hit on; and finally said, "If she was THAT interested in me, she wouldn’t then hit on people in front of me/behind my back and then say, “Oh, it’s one of those things you do when drunk!” No, no it isn’t! Manager went off and spoke to her for a couple of minutes, then came back and said, “I believe you, I’m sorry. She’s just said she likes you, then seconds later said she doesn’t!, You’re right and better off without!” Yeah, welcome to my World!! 🙂 At least in a few days, I won’t have to put up with it any more, or knowing my luck one of the haters will find something and start up again. Keep getting one of the girls ‘L’ (Tap person) ask me if I’m going to that 21st birthday event in March. Don’t have a crystal ball, don’t know my schedule that far ahead (and would love to go), but I’m beginning to wonder why she keeps asking me if I’m going and telling me she hopes I CAN make it. She has a BF too, he’ll be there; and she’s not the sort of person I’d go out with anyhow, so let’s clear that one up now. Still, that would be a great night for P96/my ‘Voodoo’ mix. Probably find ‘X’ there knowing my luck (Probably with a BF; and if she doesn’t, I’d be surprised, as she’s a really nice person!) as she knows the birthday girl very well, but this is just me thinking of what could be; and have no idea if it will turn out like that. Either way, here’s hoping I can go!! 🙂🆒 Right, food time. Speak later. NH. ---
**Author:** ![justintime469](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/justintime469/32/1402_2.png) [@justintime469](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/justintime469)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 12:35pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/339 "2017-02-03T12:35:50Z")
I hope you go to that B Day party and yes the P96 is also in order here. So keep us updated if you go and what are your thoughts on a mix to wear? I hope it is something great and crazy! ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 3:26am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/340 "2017-02-07T03:26:57Z")
Well, this is a 1st in a long time that I’ve not been in here for more than a day, lol!! Don’t worry, I’m not going back to the days of not visiting for months on end!! Reason I’ve not been in, I’ve been pretty darn busy with work; and sorting out a legal matter for my family over a land dispute with nightmare neighbours opposite our property, which has gone on forever! Fed up to the back teeth of law and researching information to disprove the claimant’s solicitor’s claims; and really from what I have, it’s not looking too good for them at the moment. Maybe their solicitor should come and stand on my side of the property to see how daft his clients have been. Now I remember why I got out of the profession and joined the Civil Service! Anyhow, less of that! Yep Justin, I don’t know the schedule for next month, nor the procedure to ask for ‘requests’ for days off, keep asking, but all the senior managers’ have been stressed out this week as we’re getting our annual inspection from the Company on Saturday and it’s one big deal that you pass every area, which reminds me, I’d better do all my Fire checks in the morning, as that is one of my secondary duties on top of the day job; and something that will be looked at on Saturday!! Yeah, if I get to go to the event in March (No DJing this time, pah), P96, IShine X2, CTTM V2, and possibly IO X2 will be made up into some formula. Possibly may get TUTH and/or Ammo SE, or [Molecule C](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/molecule-c/). Not tried the ‘Stealth’ formulas yet, so may swap out one or two of the above sprays I usually get and test out an oil version. I’ve been reading Conj’s journal over the past fortnight on his trials of the ‘Stealth’ range, so that’s what is getting me thinking on the slight change of things. Best place to test them is on a night out away from the work environment as you’re guaranteed to meet up with new people and see what their individual reactions are. As much as I would like to take my 2010 ‘Voodoo’ mix with me, I think being hit on, multiple times by strangers, in the presence of people I know is not the best approach to testing new things, or is it, lol?!! Could make the ‘Haters’ give up, as I can see some being there, then again, they have to have something/someone to entertain them for the weeks that follow, so I guess that night could be as good a one as any, lol. Saying that, still getting asked by ‘LZ’ if I’m going - fingers crossed - interested why she keeps asking (In a nice way) if I’m going?!! My lovely head keeps saying to me it _could_ be that ‘X’ is going to be there - wishful thinking - I just don’t know; and I don’t think I’d get a straight answer if I asked. ‘D’, has finally departed. Buggers (Shift managers) put me and her side by side on her 2nd to last shift (Didn’t see her leave on her final day). Don’t know what they thought would happen between us, but it was safe to say awkward for quite a while, as she kept trying to hug me and kept singing made-up songs about me, the “I love you!” type songs. Then it was the usual, back to the, “We’re just friends.” Comments and they off she would go again, dancing, singing, arghhhh!! :o In between that, I had ‘A’ being her usual mischievous self, lil’ minx kept walking past and knocking my cap off; and poking my arms/ribs! Arms I don’t mind, ribs, that’s my ticklish response area, my no-go zone. I have to have eyes in the back of my head when ‘A’ is around as she springs at me with little to no warning; and I just jump in the air with the sheer shock and torture response, lol. Ah well, I’ll get my own back at some point, rest assured!! 😃 ‘D’, we didn’t fully clear the air. How could I? she was still doing that love/hate thing right up until she finished her shift - I had another 2 hours, or so I thought, to go. Did give her a genuine hug goodbye and wish her luck in her new job, but that thought in my mind that she will be back is ever present. Yeah, my 2 hours to finish at 5pm, lol, yeah, that never happened, as I got asked to go to that other store for only 2 hours over their mystery shopper period - short staffed again! How can I say “No?” Just before leaving, I overheard the managers say in the office that a member of staff had called in sick for the 7pm - 3am shift; and it was too late to get anyone to cover it - Yeah, before I’d even left to go help out in the other store, I was now volunteering to return back to my store afterwards to work that other shift too!! Enter in a few sprays of my mix to wake me the hell up and make me become active as hell!! 😉 Got driven up to the other store by a manager; and thrown onto one of the hardest areas to work - OMG!! You aren’t supposed to move from that area, just see what is on the screen check which side the order is being made; and guess which order you can get out 1st; and then someone would get everything from the other stations and hand it to the customer. That’s were the problem was, not enough staff to man all the stations, so I was having to work 3-4 stations at speed, running back and forth across the entire store, and try and fulfill the orders as quick as possible!! Had to constantly train staff on the job, one which has gone so hi-tech since a year and 3 months ago from when I was last there working, that it was a nightmare for me. I know the procedures, but I literally had a crash-course on the new tech on the previous shift; and now I’m using my photographic/video memory to recall it all to train the staff, lol. Managed it, but damn! Stayed there till 730pm and had to make my own way back to my store via taxi for Round 3 of the shift! Don’t know what has been getting said, but one of the younger members of staff (19 year old) started asking me if I was wearing my mones? Ended up having her look at IShine on the store to read exactly what it does. It has never been something I wanted to do, share with work colleagues the one place I call my sanctuary and place of research, but on showing her, explaining a little about mones (Synthetic, animal, plant, human, etc) and the different things they can do, it would seem that it finally had sunk in, that I wan’t using some mad female attractant in the workplace. Didn’t bring her into here, more to the point, didn’t login at all, so things are best kept secret; and after she and a couple of managers read through what I call my 'Happy vibe, upbeat spray, that is great as a cure to any hangover," they seemed to except that I wasn’t wearing anything sinister around them. Hedione though, hmm. Think that would have been a harder one to explain, but then, research is research and over the years I trialed all manner of things for companies and reported it back without having to tell people/share it with others. This time, I just felt the need to do so, put their minds at rest, hopefully. I certainly headed straight into the history/recent viewed tabs and removed all links to the store, as knowing them, they’d of tried to find a way to locate and read this journal!! Like I said pages back, only people I would let read it is ‘X’ and possibly the bubbly manager ‘RW’ as they are the only 2 I really trust; and feel that (in the case of ‘X’) should see what has gone on in previous months. Speaking of ‘X’, never got to give that pen drive to ‘RW’, the only person I know can get it to ‘X’, and right now my head is going nuts, because it is the one promise in all of my lifetime that I have failed to keep!! I don’t make promises unless I know I can keep them. Maybe this is why I can’t get her out of my head, or maybe it’s something else. Never found anyone so unique, but like I said, have to move on, have no choice; and these memories, well, somehow I’ll learn to deal/live with them. Side tracked again! …Someone came in extra (needed the money) just before midnight to work till 6am, so I could leave at that time! …‘A’ on shift today, still being mischievous. No hedione today, only my IO x1 and IShine x1 mix on - 6 sprays to the usual application points. Remind me to buy x2 mixes on my next order, think I’ll go through this batch faster than my December order, considering I’m doing double sprays to get the same amount, arf!! Anyhow, ‘A’ yanked my hat off of my head, ran around to ‘LZ’ and gave it to her to hide, lol!! 🙄 Thought to myself “It’s going to be one of those days!” 😃 Then I remembered, lol, stood and laughed right back at the pair of them standing in a corner waiting for me to approach them. Got asked what I was laughing at as I had to go to them to get my hat back. Tempting, but nope, I don’t. Responded with, “I’ve just remembered, I don’t have to wear it anymore!! As of midnight, I became a manager!!” 😛😃 Well, the darnedest thing, ‘LZ’ removes it from the hiding place and returns it to me, telling me they were “Only messing.” I could begin to like this new effect of which being a manger has on people, hehe. 🙂 Remainder of the shift wasn’t too bad, couple of drug dealers trying to act hard (Bet that’s to make up for having a small manhood), because they didn’t get enough milk and sugar for their 2 drinks, one jumping out of the vehicle to ask for even more, whilst complaining that it wasn’t on ration. Erm, the staff member gave you nearly an entire box of sugar and milk sachets!! Ah, something bad will happen to them, can feel it in my bones! New manager ‘LB’ was like “Oh him, had a run-in with him on the night shift a couple of days ago, best to bite your lip and he’ll eventually leave!” No, it’s better to challenge them, take them to a secluded location and teach them some manners, making them realise they’re not to do it again! Wishful thinking, I guess that’s what happens when you grow up/work in the military, threats of any kind made towards you or others and you just want to stamp it out there and then! Anyhow, train home, as I go to get on, one of my fellow managers gets off; and who is sat in a seat next to the door - ‘D’! Had to sit in a seat opposite her; and be asked if I’d miss her? She even asked me to publicly write a goodbye message on her media a/c (Where everyone could see it!), erm, no, don’t think so somehow. Still, tried to be friendly as I could, did feel a little uncomfortable if I’m honest, but sat and listened to ‘D’ telling me she was going to miss everyone/the job and didn’t really want to go. Here we go! Told her that she would be back, to be told she wouldn’t, yet, on leaving the train at my stop, giving her another genuine goodbye hug, she proceeded to tell me she was coming back in march to see everyone, yeah, there’s that “I’m not coming back again,” saying just going out the window - probably end up at that event too, I’ll be hiding with a slight coating of MX597 oil, encouraging me to move out of the ‘Singles Corner’ and have some fun, lol. Well, going to wrap this up. In work at 8am this very morning (03:26am now), with our least favourite manager - grumpy - can’t wait, not. Will have my mix on, tempted to hit myself with a few hedione oil dabs to tone down her negativeness towards me. Anyhow, speak soon. NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 2:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/341 "2017-02-08T14:22:41Z")
Late to work by 7 minutes, arf, hate, hate, hate being late, but that is what I get for using a private hire taxi service of self-employed drivers! Even with the company’s nice new phone app, when it displays “Vehicle on approach!” that doesn’t actually mean the driver is moving to your destination, as I found out last night!! 25 minutes staring at the app, of the driver sitting at the back of the hospital grounds opposite my housing estate. Phoned up their switchboard only to be told “Strange says he’s on approach, but you’re right he hasn’t moved for 25 minutes!” No good to me when I should of been in work 5 minutes prior and am now running like a loon to catch a train!! As much as I would like to drive, that fear of what happened when in Germany as a teenager, just sticks in my mind every time I go to turn that ignition key. It’s the sound of the starter motor ticking over that gets me in a panic. Shouldn’t really, not now, should realise nothing is going to happen, but my memory is what it is; and every time, I just visualise the past as if it is literally just happening! ☹ Had my hedione mix (14 dabs total, 7 each side - wiped with 2 balls of cotton wool to the back of my neck/jaw line.). Plus, 6 sprays of my IO/IShine mix, (3 application points front/back), Adam’s apple, back of neck; and left and right side of front/back of my neck. Takes seconds for the IShine ‘Wake-up’ effect to kick in! It’s like a “Wow!” feeling come over me; and then instant smiles; and neroli, I’m addicted to that scent!! 🙂 I swear that this particular mix around grumpy seems to calm her down, be less horrid towards me; and others if I’m standing near them. Sort of makes me conscious to that, for when I see her getting a tad disrespectful to the staff, I wander over and stand near her, to see her back off/calm right down. Actually, she tends to go off to the office, for a few minutes, so I’m wondering if it is having a “Back off!” effect. Or, she’s getting a “Jeebus Chr\*\*t, this guy is hitting on me, I’m married, run away!” 😃 Either way, I can’t complain, things run more smoothly when she isn’t around. Directing staff is one thing, belittling them in front of everyone including customers, not very professional. At the very least, take them to one side and tell them what they have done wrong; and correct the issue so that they know what to do there and then! The best is when she goes to me, or another trainer/manager in front of staff and says out loud, “Tell such and such they need to do this, this and this…!” Yet, that person may be standing right next to her, lol. Why not just tell them? Cut us, the middle-man, right out of the equation. I’ve taken to just turning to the person and say, “Did you get all that?!!” Makes her mad, lol, but people don’t need to be told twice!! 😉 Poor ‘A’ working in the tropics, actually, no, that nice new heater is beginning to have no effect with the ice blast of air coming through the open window, so it’s back to freezing again for hours on end, even whilst wearing a jacket! Blue hands that you cannot move due to the constant cold air isn’t good; and standing in that one spot of the job for 5+ hours also ins’t good! But, to hear grumpy (wearing a headset, listening in to ‘A’ take customers orders - 100+ an hour), “You forgot to suggestive sell an apple pie, remember on the next one!” Over and over, lol, poor ‘A’!! ‘A’ stopped me a couple of hours in and said “NH, why is it every time I ask the customer if they want one of these stupid pies, that she (Grumpy), isn’t wearing her headset; and the one time I forget because, oh, let’s say, I’m hanging out the window to reach to the car because the customer is too far away, that she (Grumpy) is wearing it? Argh, so annoying!” Yep, I hear your pain and in my response to that I said, “Do you ever spot me standing looking back down to the opposite end of the store observing what is going on, when we have cars? Well two things are going on there. 1) Where I stand is getting a blast of heat from the ceiling giving me a little heat, 2) I’m looking to see who has a headset on!” Yeah, I may have just told her how to get around suggestive selling, but surely they (The vehicle/customer behind the customer you are taking their order), can hear you asking over and over, “Would you like to buy a hot apple pie with your order, 2 for 1, only 1GBP?” We only get 25 seconds to get the whole order out of the customer, no matter if its one item, or feeding the entire Falcons football team! So, other than that, my highlight today was having a customer come in around 2pm to ask me if we served toast?!! Yeah, breakfast finished at half 10, but wait, I can nip over to the local 7/11 and buy a loaf of bread to make you some! Actually, I said I could toast a bun, to get a “Really?!!” Reply; and just as I go to key in some random food item to make up the price, the customer went, “No wait, I’ll have one of those chicken things in the bun with mayo; and a jam portion. I’ll put that on the bread.” What??!! Some people have some weird tastes, lol. ‘A’ was mischievous again, lol, even though she is at the opposite end of the store, she always seemed to somehow find a way to find me, target me, and tease the hell out of me, either with the rib prodding, attempting to spray me with a cleaning solution bottle (non-harmful thank gawd), trip me up, remove my cap, or just stand in my way and prevent me from getting past. As young as she is (18), I’m beginning to think she fancies me, lol, but can’t, too young (@ 18, here in the UK, you’re classed as an adult.), just have to be friends; and I try to hint at that every day, not just to her, but to anyone else that comments on the goings on of mischievousness between us, lol. Well, what can I say, it makes for a fun day, makes the time fly by, reduces the stress of the job; and… I can’t think of an ‘and’, actually, lol. Something will come to me to add to that as I’m a few minutes ahead (in my head), of what went on, from me typing it here and now, lol. 🙄 So, break time. Didn’t do my usual of coming here and typing, internet was just too unpredictable, kept dropping; and that’s a real pain when trying to post here, as you have to copy what is written, refresh the screen, then paste it back into the text box before uploading it to the forums, each time the internet drops or, you get some weird message about your ‘token expiring’. On to SnapChat I went and found a nice image of a pink barbie car, merged my face into it and posted to ‘A’ "Watch out for me in Drive-Thru, I’m gonna want to see you suggestive selling those apple pies, lmao!! 🙂 " Referring to ‘Grumpy’!! I had another member of staff with me at the time (BE) whom I showed the message to and she goes, “I’m gonna tell her when she comes in!” Yeah, chances of her coming in whilst working the sub-zero tropics, slim, but to my horror, a few minutes before I was due back on the floor, in walks her stalker ‘LK’ whom sent me that message not to speak/flirt with her on shift, lol, followed by ‘A’ wanting to check her phone; and dopey colleague next to me says in a loud voice, “Check your phone, NH has sent you a private message!” O-M-G, could you have said that ‘BE’ at the worst possible moment?!! ‘LK’s’ face was an absolute picture of rage. He started grabbing at his things in the locker, slammed the door shut and stormed out! I’m sorry dude, but really? Someone needs to climb out of their baby crib and pick up their dummy! Still ‘A’ looked, smiled and said, “That’s going on the stores media (Closed to the public) group page!” No, what, wait! Here’s me having a little bit of fun and erm, yeah, I’m having this thought because of that look on her face that she has taken a screenshot of the message and I would now be getting my hall of fame moment at some point in the day, lol - yeah she did post it, didn’t get to see it until after my shift had ended, lil’ minx. I’ll get my own back at some point!! 😛 Still just when you think nothing else can happen, on going back, I have to get stock (Which we can no longer find because the salaried team have re-organised the 2 storage areas, in their eyes/mind as being better, yet no one not even me with my memory can find anything!), from the very back of the outdoor storage unit. Had to pull out 2 cages laden with stock to get through, took ages; and on coming back out, ‘A’ is standing in the doorway, lol, WTF? Asked her what she was after, thinking stock, but erm nope, she was apparently hiding outside the door waiting to jump out at me when I left, except I was taking too, long, O-K!! So, she wouldn’t let me past, lol, kept putting her foot up to block from getting back past the gap between the cage and wall, then comes out with, “What is it with me and liking older men?!!” WHOA, WTF, SERIOUSLY?!! Then she got that ‘Beeping’ noise in her headset meaning she had no choice but to return back to her work position. For a minute there I thought, “Chr\*\*t, am I getting hit on here?” Yeah, I think I may very well have been, which had me in a fluster to say the least. Closed environment, the hedione/mix could have been playing a part, but saying that, would it have been a factor (the mix??), as she wasn’t around when I entered that storage unit?/ So, she basically tracked me down to my location to say that, lol!! 😮 Imagine trying to explain that one, if anyone had come out and spotted us. Think I may have to enter into ‘cautious mode’. Later on towards the end ‘A’s’ shift, her sister ‘C’ came in for food and to wait for her sister. Slightly quieter than ‘A’, she has only just started working with us in the past few weeks - saying that, they’re all quiet when they just start. Go on a crew night out; and all that changes, lol!! 🙄 Told ‘C’ what her sister had been like on shift; and about the image she may have posted, heard the words, “Seen it!” 😮 Oh, crap, wondered what she may have written to go along side of it, lol, turned out, when I read it later, only two words - “No comment.” 😃 I guess it could have been worse!! ‘A’ ordered from my till just before leaving. Of all the perfumes she could of put on, (and I have no idea what it is, or called, nor did I ask), but I get hit with the smell of neroli! Gawd it was strong, almost cologne strength, not the 6% version I wear each day, that’s for sure!! Had the urge to just stand there and sniff the neroli in the air, lol, had to tell her in the end before getting her order together, so she and her sister could go for their train, that her perfume was nice; and that I recognised the scent as being neroli, lol. Probably had no idea what I was on about, lol!! Anyhow, I didn’t long finish myself after that, was a lot more hectic in terms of serving customers, but then, the schools were out so we got the usual traffic. …Two rest days (Well and truly needed) starting, well, now, lol. Going to do the Ylang Ylang oil dab test either later or tomorrow (Probably tomorrow), so keep an eye out for that report. No idea how that is going to go, probably follow the same dab test method I did for the hedione of starting with my left arm/wrist and move on up the arm, eventually testing the right arm if are no visible signs of problems. Hedione test took 2 hours, I guess this test/report shall be no different. May do a cotton wool test on the left arm and neat (straight from the bottle/applicator) on my right arm, but will have to see how the test goes with my left arm! If all goes well, I may apply a splash (Spray) of iShine 1X to see if they go together. Don’t know, as my IShine is neroli based, but it’s all in the name of research, right? So, has to be done!! Either way, if I have no issues with the ylang ylang, I may then look at using it with the hedione, trying out the two - another dab test/report, hmm! If they work, well, ‘stealth’ products should work too, maybe. Ah well, back to the fun times, back to the research! 🆒 Speak later, NH. ---
**Author:** ![Night\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@Night\_Hawk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Night_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2017, 11:54pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688/342 "2017-02-09T23:54:21Z")
Day 2 of my rest day and i’m yet to do the dab test of the ylang ylang. Yep, I know I said I’d do it today, but I’ll probably do it in a couple of hours. Just having a rest after a hectic few hours getting all my land (Boundary) dispute paperwork together. Solicitor has just left our house and was blown away with what I’d researched! She even asked me what I did for a living, told her, then got the response of I’m wasting a very good talent at research! Erm, kind of hinted that I do that here, (Hands-on research - I love it!!). Still, it was nice to get some positive comments on something a few months back I had no idea about. My legal expertise is covert electronic surveillance and tracing, so, to learn everything about boundaries in only a couple of months is pretty darn good in my opinion. Solicitor even said I knew more than she did, lol, ask me how that is possible?!! Anyhow, I’m having some food, going on the decks to chill some more, well, give me an energy boost, then I’ll come back in a few hours and try out the ylang ylang, see what it does, if anything! Work not till 10pm tomorrow, snow expected, sledge ready at the front door, so we’ll either get none or, it’ll rain. Arf, why has ‘X’ just come into my head, seriously? That picture ‘ST’ showed me. ☹ Oh, I know, pen drive is in front of me! Need to move that somewhere, saying that need to take it into work and give it to Bubbles (RW) to pass on. Head is really active tonight. Could be being pumped with this legal matter, could also be I put on my mix just before she arrived. Right, food. Back soon. NH. 🙂 [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688.md?page=16) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/night_hawks-pheremone-journal/43688.md?page=18)