# Observation: any techniques for noticing subtle hits instead of hours later? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [March 24, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/observation-any-techniques-for-noticing-subtle-hits-instead-of-hours-later/49517 "2011-03-24T23:26:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![stooj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@stooj](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/stooj)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/observation-any-techniques-for-noticing-subtle-hits-instead-of-hours-later/49517/1 "2011-03-24T23:26:06Z")
Does anyone have any techniques/systems for helping to observe/assess the situation. I find that I am not noticing things. I have been using the products enough now to realise that what I need to look for are subtle cues but often find that I think/notice these some hours are they have happened. It reminds me a bit of waking from a dream and not remembering what the dream was all about, then later in the day thinking “Hang on a minute…” when a small memory of the dream pops up in my head. I can notice blantant TUTH DIHL hits straight away. But more subtle hits such as compliments, increase chattiness, smiling, or small changes in people behaviour take longer to soak into my spongy brain! I not looking for a list of what to look out for but more how to make myself more observant. How can one focus on these things, hone ones skills?😕 ---
**Author:** ![2000GT](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/2000gt/32/389_2.png) [@2000GT](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/2000GT)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/observation-any-techniques-for-noticing-subtle-hits-instead-of-hours-later/49517/2 "2011-03-25T02:00:26Z")
Personally, I find that it’s a skillset that takes time to learn. Plenty of folks on this forum are well versed in behavioral modification (improving oneself), Tisha being one of them. My own thoughts are to do some research on what are common body language signs for several scenario. Do a google search on “how to read body language” that should bring up quite a bit of information. It might be the type of thing where you have to study the theory, start practicing and implementing what you learn. So, for example, when talking to someone, look for signs of eye contact, how they sit, hold their head, etc. In the US, making eye contact is a sign of confidence. But in other countries in the east, not making eye contact is a mark of respect. Someone sitting with their shoulders hunched over may be a sign of depression or a general lack of confidence. Start small and keep at it until you’re comfortable with spotting the signs, then move onto another set of signals. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 10:28am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/observation-any-techniques-for-noticing-subtle-hits-instead-of-hours-later/49517/3 "2011-03-26T10:28:15Z")
The only way to really become more observent is to make the conscious effort to observe more. After a while it just becomes part of your subconscious and you dont have to think about it, it just happens. I do suggest learning to read body language and also learning to quiet the mind. You dont have to turn into a meditation guru or anything just take a few minute to take a few deep breaths and slow your thinking down. You can never really stop your thinking totally or your body wont function LOL. I am talking about conscious thoughts. If you have trouble slowing them just try concentrating and focusing on one thing while your doing the breaths. You can do this while taking a pee in the mens room, in the elevator at work… where ever. You just need a few minutes. It helps you see more clearly. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/observation-any-techniques-for-noticing-subtle-hits-instead-of-hours-later/49517/4 "2011-03-26T16:24:20Z")
Try concentrating on one thing at a time. Start with a basic IOI like whether someone , male or female, leans toward or away from you when talking to you. After a day or two of observing this phenomenon spend another day or two learning to manipulate it. When someone leans away , lean farther away and speak more softly to draw them to you. You’ll be surprised at how fast you see the one thing you are working on become a natural part of your thoughts. Then you will be ready to move on to another. Use the master IOI list as a starting point and just take the ideas there one at a time. ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/observation-any-techniques-for-noticing-subtle-hits-instead-of-hours-later/49517/5 "2011-03-26T18:02:50Z")
I’m not making assumptions with this but rather posing a possible theory. But could it be that you’re too into your own head and not legitimately present in the situation. So many people are on autopilot and conversations are really like two prerecorded scripts played in sync as opposed to a real and authentic interaction. Approach interactions with a genuine curiosity about the other person. If you find yourself thinking about something not relating to the person or the situation then shake yourself out of it and come back to the now. You know what I mean right? It’s like reading a book but your mind wanders to thoughts about something else and when you’re done reading a page you have to go back because you don’t remember what you read. When you interact with a person, male or female since good relationships with men are just as important…make it a mission of yours to create a sort of mental dossier on the person. Actually focus on the present moment and the person you’re with. Go through a mental checklist of sorts during the conversation. Do they talk with their hands a lot? Do they make eye contact? Do they smile much? Do they speak smoothly or do they stutter and/or stammer and stumble over words? Do they ask questions about you, or simply volunteer information about themselves? Do they pay compliments? Do they initiate physical contact? How do they seem to react when you make contact? Also try to focus on learning at least three interesting things about them. Likes, dislikes, ambitions, fears, interests or unusual experiences etc. People like being liked and the biggest secret to being an interestING person is to be interestED in as many things as possible and that includes the people you interact with. If you’re observing ego is focused on the here and now and the person in front of you, as opposed to regurgitating a series of pre programmed conversational responses while you’re thinking about what you’re going to cook for dinner or wondering if you need to pick up anything at the store on your way home etc. Then spotting more subtle changes in a persons behavior will become easier. And as a side effect, the people you interact with will sense that you’re authentically listening to them and genuinely interested in knowing them and learning about who they are and those changes in behavior will be more likely to be in a positive direction. You won’t make this changes overnight, it’s a skill that can be learned though. Some days you’ll be able to focus on people with amazing ease and somedays you’ll start great and pick up a couple of signs or bits of info and then your mind will wander and you’ll start playing a song in your head or thinking about your plans for the weekend. Try and shake yourself back to reality and the present, in time living in the now instead of remembering the past or anticipating the future will be easier. Once you’re at that state you’ll be like Sherlock Fucking Holmes making all kinds of observations about people based on things both said and unspoken. ---
**Author:** ![spamz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/48db29/32.png) [@spamz](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/spamz)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 11:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/observation-any-techniques-for-noticing-subtle-hits-instead-of-hours-later/49517/6 "2011-03-26T23:36:04Z")
my 2 cents is along with what everyone else says about reading/learning body language etc. is to people watch. go get a coffee and sit at the window of a busy place, or at a mall etc. and just sit and watch people. youll notice the things that your reading and learning and saying ahh haa, i see it now. even at work, just pay attention to how people interact with one another and look for signs, movements, etc. that you read or picked up online. sometimes its easier to notice subtle things when your on the outside looking in. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 9:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/observation-any-techniques-for-noticing-subtle-hits-instead-of-hours-later/49517/7 "2011-03-27T09:16:36Z")
Great advice from everyone. I tend to feel what others feel around me because I am extremely empathic which helps in reading others. You can develop empathy When your sitting watching people, imagine your them and ask yourself what are they thinking and feeling. Try to feel what they are projecting with there body. Like suppose your sitting in the book store and a women walks in. Just watch her, look for signs of emotions in her body language. Is she tense, in a hurry, annoyed or laid back, energetic, contented. You will be surprised how much you pick up on and how much that will tell you about the person. Also try predicting what they will do next. I love doing this when out with my friends, its sort of a game we play when we get done with the boxers or briefs game LOL . My friends have become more observant since we started this practice. Both these exercises have worked well with some of the people I have coached over the years as well. Makes learning a skill kinda fun and you dont even realize your learning. Kinda like the “wax on wax off” exercise from the Karate kid. He didnt know he was learning karate when he was doing it but suddenly he just had a skill that just came naturally when someone tried to hit him. I dont know how people can say they are bored. There are so many interesting things to do even when you sitting there looking like your doing nothing. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![stooj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@stooj](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/stooj)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 10:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/observation-any-techniques-for-noticing-subtle-hits-instead-of-hours-later/49517/8 "2011-03-28T22:08:06Z")
Many thanks for the replies, all interesting stuff. I do think of myself as a people watcher. And whilst not at work there is time for this. I do think it is a case that when at work I am just getting on with the work at hand and my brain is concentrated on this area. However I do feel that with your advice and help I can learn to observe better in the work environment and this will indeed help with interaction with clients and colleagues alike ---
**Author:** ![2000GT](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/2000gt/32/389_2.png) [@2000GT](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/2000GT)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2011, 1:09am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/observation-any-techniques-for-noticing-subtle-hits-instead-of-hours-later/49517/9 "2011-03-29T01:09:29Z")
Take your time with it but yes, enhancing your observational skills can help out in all facets of life, not just work.