# Outta My Shell **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Journals\ **Created:** [January 4, 2008, 9:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054 "2008-01-04T21:03:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Phya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@Phya](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phya)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 7:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/322 "2008-11-25T19:25:13Z")
> [@renny](#): > > Sorry to ignore this for so long Phya. It’s really a damned good question and I guess I was wrapped up in other thoughts. Not a problem at all, you’ve been pretty busy as is. > [@renny](#): > > I admit that P93 could be the culprit since I really don’t have any experience with it. The question is moot until I do give it some good testing. Yea, maybe. Try it out. 🙂 > [@renny](#): > > So let’s look at P83. “Touch me now” the Mad Tater calls it. Maybe I’m uncomfortable projecting “want”. It comes down to the whole point of having a shell in the first place. **After all, it’s as much about keeping stuff in as it is protecting ones self from the outside isn’t it?** This is really hard to write even though I know this journal is a relatively safe place to do so. Yes, sometimes it’s more about keeping stuff in even. That’s what mine is more about, and sometimes my…enthusiasm..isn’t contained like it usually is and it just comes out in one big flood. Some people dig it, mostly when I’m in a good mood, but other times it can definitely be overwhelming. > [@renny](#): > > **I want and that makes me uncomfortable.** Hmm, doesn’t sound like a great confession. We all want don’t we? Want isn’t attractive though. **Want is weakness. Want is dependence.** > > **I need to see want as OK.** What are some positives of want? _Drive? Ambition?_ **Want is not need.** Want is simply desire. **One can have everything one needs and still want.** Couldn’t be a more honest, bare confession, IMO. I have similar reservations on wants and needs. I can’t pick a specific point in my life, but whenever my dad asked if if I needed anything (more so in a sense of, do you want anything from the store?) I’d tell him no, because I was answering literally. I didn’t _need_ anything else. I had food, I had clothes, and I had a roof over my head. I understand seeing want as weak or dependent. If you want something, or express desire in something, then that’s a commitment. You’re taking a risk, taking the risk of possibly not getting what you desire, leading to disappointment. In a way, for me, not wanting was a way to avoid disappointment. Sometimes, I think it still is. As you said, what are the positives of desire, of want? Ambition, drive? Yes. Which is exactly what I was lacking in my earlier life. I had many opportunities in my life, but I let them go because I lacked ambition. I lacked drive. It manifested in the form of ‘depression’, and certainly I had somethings in my life to be depressed about, but my main shortcoming (in my view) has been my lack of drive. If I had ambition, I would have actually tried to earn good grades, in order to go to the college I wanted, in order to study where and what I wanted. If I had ambition, I could have tried harder in sports to earn a scholarship. If I had ambition, I could have tried to earn scholastic scholarships. If I had ambition, I could have worked on my art skills at a younger age. If I had ambition… If I had wanted… If I had desired… But I didn’t. Now, looking back, I’m pissed. And I _ **want** _ it back. I will not apologize, I will not give in – I want. Perhaps my issue has never been an issue of not ‘wanting’, but rather, in being unable to deal with disappointment. I don’t know what it is, but when I watch people, I can see their inner children popping out to say hi. Sometimes when they’re happy, but usually when something disappoints them. I can see that spark get smothered for a brief moment while their ‘child’ is disappointed and sad. Perhaps this is a reflection of my own ‘child’, who sees disappointment in others because he is disappointed himself. Who knows. So, I don’t know, for me the best thing to do was to just start grabbing for what I wanted. It’s hard, because when I win (get what I want) that means others aren’t, mostly because people seem to want the same things (that girl, that guy, that car, that house…etc..) Oh well, what can I do? I’ve always limited myself because of my upbringing. Don’t rock the boat, don’t cause problems with your peers or with your elders. Almost a sense of, if someone ends up getting into trouble because I’m standing up to them, I’m still in trouble. Or, perhaps it’s rooted in not wanting to ‘dominate’ others. Meaning, in order to get what I want, I might need to step on toes, and I timidly tried to avoid that. Maybe it’s my recent life experience, maybe it’s these Glauberman CDs, maybe it’s the A314 and company. I don’t know. All I know is that ironically, now, I **need** to _desire_ want. 🙂 I’ll have to figure out the rest later. > [@renny](#): > > This is probably a completely foreign musing to those of you not raised on southern stoicism. “Don’t let your wants exceed your pocketbook” is the byline of the depression baby not the slacker. Southern stoicism is not necessary. Even just a brutally literal understanding of the words ‘need’ and ‘want’ coupled with a growing distaste for all the ‘hypocrites’ and ‘hogs’ who want and want and want, while saying “I _neeeeeeeed_ it so bad!” Shut up, kids in Africa _need_ things. You don’t. At least, that was my logic. ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 9:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/323 "2008-11-25T21:16:08Z")
One stream of consciousness begats another…sweeet! LOL. Thinking on this reminds me of children in my store. Perhaps my problem with projecting want isn’t that I’m uncomfortable wanting. I know what my desires are and I’m comfortable with them. I just don’t want to let my desires appear needy. In the past I’ve dealt with that sometimes by not expressing the desire or not fully expressing it. Probably because fully expressing it has led to serious disappointment as you alluded to. I’ve got a low shelf full of big colorful fishing floats. They are too big to choke on and act as a magnet for stray toddlers, keeping them away from more dangerous but less interesting things until they can be caught. Daddy comes in in with a 2-3 year old and lets go of them for a minute. The child invariable has a hand full very quickly. At that age Daddy either gives in or risks a blubbering temper tantrum when he takes the float away. A 4-5 year old has the same want for the colorful things, but he’ll ask “Daddy can I have…?” He’s learned to present the want in a more attractive way. This continues to progress until the teen is striking bargains with Dad for the new reel. There are some kids though that never seem to get it. They want as teenagers in the same blatant ugly way that a 2 year old wants. Then there are teens who never express a want. They simply pick out what they want and check their wallets just like an adult. If the money is there they get what they want. At first glance this appears to be the most attractive way to want. It’s the stage I am stuck at. It occurs to me as I examine this that that is not. The parent might “want” the opportunity to make a gift of the item. The wants could be complementary…mutual. I’m stuck at a very selfish stage of want. That’s why it feels bad. This can be worked on. > [@](#): > > All I know is that ironically, now, I **need** to _desire_ want. > > [http://www.pheromonetalk.com/mens-journals/images/smilies/smile.gif](http://www.pheromonetalk.com/mens-journals/images/smilies/smile.gif) Satisfaction is a state of mind. Lots of things can fool your brain into satisfaction…sugar, trans fats, alcohol, cannabis to name a few. The more of these things I find and work to eliminate overuse of, the more I want to accomplish. Sugar may be the worst of the lot by the way. ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 6:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/324 "2008-11-29T18:31:24Z")
Testing 123 testing ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 10:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/325 "2008-11-29T22:09:41Z")
testing 123 testing ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/326 "2008-12-03T03:15:24Z")
Renny - been a week. Getting really lost in that stream of consciousness? ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/327 "2008-12-24T16:59:50Z")
Just wanted to take a minute to say Merry Christmas and Happy New year to everyone. I wore 3 sprays of IG and 3 sprays of 2x Ishine to a family function yesterday. It involved driving my folks (70s) a couple of hours to visit my Dad’s brother and his family. It’s a pretty easygoing bunch but anytime you have a big group of relatives there are bound to be a ruffled feather or two. Not this time. It’s funny, after driving my folks back home and getting home myself, I got phone calls from my folks, my aunt, and 2 cousins thanking me for “such a wonderful day.” Heck, all I did was eat their food and smile a lot… I even stayed away from the Yahtzee tournament. There was one dog who growled me but a couple of stray cheese and sausage balls even took care of that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 7:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/328 "2008-12-24T19:46:21Z")
> [@renny](#): > > _ **Just wanted to take a minute to say Merry Christmas and Happy New year to everyone.** _ Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too, Boo! 🙂 > _ **It’s funny, after driving my folks back home and getting home myself, I got phone calls from my folks, my aunt, and 2 cousins thanking me for “such a wonderful day.” Heck, all I did was eat their food and smile a lot… I even stayed away from the Yahtzee tournament.** _ Probably best, somethin’ tells me you’re a Yahtzee terror. Hmm, how about some time you and I have at it with a game of Risk. 🙄 😃 > _ **There was one dog who growled me but a couple of stray cheese and sausage balls even took care of that.** _ 🙂 LOL! That would work for _me_ too! _Grrrr._ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/329 "2009-01-26T20:57:19Z")
Legend at the touristy “Stingray City” sandbar in the Cayman Islands holds that if you kiss a ray it will bring you seven years of good luck…a french kiss is good for a lifetime. You guys know me; all or nothing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pherophreak](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/pherophreak/32/1531_2.png) [@pherophreak](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/pherophreak)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/330 "2009-01-26T21:02:01Z")
You sir are a bonafide badass. ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/331 "2009-01-26T21:08:16Z")
> [@pherophreak](#): > > You sir are a bonafide badass. That I am not, but I’m learning. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/332 "2009-01-26T21:56:03Z")
> [@renny](#): > > _ **She took a deep breath** _ of the MX280 from my neck _ **and whispered “Duh.”** _ > > _ **I really had a great time** _ the rest of the cruise. 😃 Oooo la la! 🙂 Bella can’t help thinking about… _cough_ … _stingray_… talk about a great time, Frenchie! > [@](#): > > _ **Too bad she lives in Northern Canada.** _ 😠 BOOOOOOOO!!! ☹ 🙄 Oh, well…_spritz_ .. _spritz_ …next!!! 😃 Bella ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/333 "2009-01-27T03:07:13Z")
Way to carry it off, Renny. Great report. ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/334 "2009-01-30T20:16:12Z")
Well Steve put MX272 back in the store and blamed it on me so I HAD to make an order 😛😉. I got my precious mx272 along with the new MX301-304 tester and a freebie (which surprised me considering I paid the whole thing except shipping from my points stash) [MX203](https://a314.com/product/mx203/); Ah yes the famed and touted Instant Caucasion Magic. Should be interesting. I also nabbed a 30ml of the DPG/neroli/plant musks and a 30ml of the cologne strength neroli perfumers alcohol to see if I can tame some of the more effevescent putatives. ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/335 "2009-01-31T00:44:43Z")
LOL. Your order sounds familiar. We will have to compare notes. ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 1:50am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/336 "2009-01-31T01:50:41Z")
Great minds think alike I guess Bosshank. I’ve never tried the 203, thought about it many times but always had something I wanted just a little bit more. ---
**Author:** ![CookieGirl](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/cookiegirl/32/1379_2.png) [@CookieGirl](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/CookieGirl)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 2:09am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/337 "2009-03-05T02:09:31Z")
Cayman Islands was a place after my dreams. ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/338 "2009-03-05T02:23:06Z")
Hey CG, thanks for stopping in! I’m totally into the whole cruise thing, just wish I had more time to do it. Cayman’s were so awesome! ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 2:47am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/339 "2009-03-05T02:47:34Z")
So how have the MX301-4 series testers been going for you? MX301 seemed to work very nicely as you read in that one thread. Nothing solid on MX302 yet for me. How about the [MX203](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/mx203/)? I cannot say I have had anything “over the top” with it yet. ---
**Author:** ![renny](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/renny/32/2104_2.png) [@renny](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/renny)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/340 "2009-03-05T17:26:04Z")
Heya Bosshank! I haven’t started on those yet. That darned neroli AMMO found it’s way to the top of my stash and wouldn’t leave. I finally banished it to the bottom when the Grapefruit P78 arrived. I’ll finish my week with it and then move to one of the MXs. The bad weather in Feb had things pretty slow and I wanted a broader test base before I started on those. Busy season is starting now though so I should be running through a bunch of stuff I’ve been putting off. ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054/341 "2009-03-05T18:46:51Z")
[Neroli](https://a314.com/product-category/scented/androtics-neroli/) scented Ammo is always a staple in my arsenal. It is so easy to use when you do not feel like wearing a cologne scent or you want to wear a specific cologne for whatever reason. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054.md?page=16) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/outta-my-shell/8054.md?page=18)