# over-identification with sex

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/over-identification-with-sex/602>\
**Category:** Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\
**Created:** [August 22, 2006, 7:33pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/over-identification-with-sex/602 "2006-08-22T19:33:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\
**Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 12:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/over-identification-with-sex/602/41 "2006-09-06T12:48:38Z")

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> [@catlord17](#):
>
> In my experience, Replacement Threat #1 is always: The Other Woman, aka “that bitch”. The “other woman” is always a female, but may be a friend, someone she thought you looked at the wrong way, someone she knows you looked at the wrong way, someone she thinks is more attractive than her (whether or not you ever saw her), or even a complete figment of her imagination. Some women - and I have seen this first hand! - actually attack men for being unfaithful when the woman only had a daydream about him being unfaithful. Unbelievable.
> 
> Then come various things, including other men, the horse she saw you eying lasciviously last week, evercrack, the vehicle you love so much that she’s jealous of (because it gets more jewelry than she does) and your computer, to which you often masturbate despite her efforts to be sexy and lure you into the bedroom.
> 
> This is an amalgam of the things I have seen and heard women get jealous and terrifried of replacement from, and represents no particular person reading this of course, but does it really matter what you replace her with? She wants to feel loved and special. She wants you to make her feel secure, so she can get fat and lazy, dammit! LOL Just kidding. 😉

i agree.  
i think 2 hours at a polyamory meeting would sober alot of women up.  
im not trying to be funny, i think that jealousy is very irrational,having experienced it myself. im fine until i talk to my ex,and we havent been together in a year.  
exposure to polyamorous lifestyle would improve the existing relationship and free it from alot of that baggage, and thats not acting on anything suggested, its only being exposed to it.  
i have never met people more in tune with their own emotions and logic. 🙂

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**Author:** ![PheroQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@PheroQuirk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroQuirk)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2006, 3:58am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/over-identification-with-sex/602/42 "2006-09-25T03:58:01Z")

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> [@catlord17](#):
>
> Some women - and I have seen this first hand! - actually attack men for being unfaithful when the woman only had a daydream about him being ufaithful. Unbelievable

This is at a little bit of a tangent, but this quote from David Buss does I think help make some sense of the basis of the jealousy circuit as a pre-conscious warning mechanism adapted to a rather different world.

> [@](#):
>
> A professional couple therapist I know related to me the following story. A young couple, Joan and Richard, came to her with a complaint of irrational jealousy. Without provocation, Richard would burst into jealous tirades and accuse Joan of sleeping with another man. His uncontrollable jealousy was destroying their marriage. Richard and Joan both agreed on this point. Could the therapist help cure Richard of irrational jealousy? A common practice in couple therapy is to have at least one session with each member of the couple individually. The first question the therapist posed to Joan during this individual interview was: Are you having an affair? She burst into tears and confessed that, indeed, she had been carrying on an affair for the past six months. Richard’s jealousy, it turned out, had not been irrational after all. He had been picking up on subtle cues of his wife’s infidelity that triggered his jealousy. Since he trusted Joan and she had assured him of her fidelity, however, he believed that his jealousy had been irrational. In a sense, Richard had failed to listen to his internal emotional whisperings. He came to the wrong conclusion because he overrode his feelings with “rationality.”

from  
[http://www.enotalone.com/article/5587.html](http://www.enotalone.com/article/5587.html)

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