today was not quite what i expected. I thought i had a firm handle on p98 but now I’m not so sure.
62.5mcgs all to neck and face to maximize self effects.
today, i was hungover, but i tried to be a good student, and go to my local cafe. I figured some p98 might help along with copious amounts of coffee. to be frank, I couldn’t get my shit together today, the studying thing just wasn’t happening. it didn’t really bother me, i just sort of sat there and stared blankly at my old homeworks trying to review. i tried practicing some grammer, but i wrote about 5 sentances and it took me about an hour. I was the only one in the cafe at this point, and then social things started to happen.
In all my time going there, even though the manager sees me almost daily, we’ve never really had a full conversation. today, he came over and (all in chinese) asked me about the American holiday halloween and pumkin carving. he had never done it before and wanted to know how. He also asked me about our customs and what we do and how it changes from candy to alco…i mean childhood to adulthood. we were joking around about costumes for about 10 minutes or so. 1st time its happened in a year.
the other wierd thing that happened, was a pair of girls walked in and sat down at the table next to me. both fairly attractive. then about 10 minutes later, a guy and a girl came in together and sat down with them. the guy was in my class last term, and we waved and said hi. My chinese is a little better than his, and i could understand everything they said. I thus couldn’t help listening to their conversation, and occasionally looking over and throwing my two cents in. then the girl who came in with the guy just asked if i wanted to join them and chat. I was surprised at the invite, but slid my table over to join theirs. I ended up chatting with this girl(about a 6/10) various topics for awhile. i was hoping to start chatting with the other two very pretty girls, but the 1st girl wasn’t letting me really escape. through this girl i learned that the reason she was here was to set up the guy with the prettier of the two girls, as both were single and looking. (shit!) but then told me it was going poorly(hooray!)
anyways, eventually the guy and the girl he came in with got up and went outside for a bit. I really thought I had met the cuter of the two girls before and told her. she thought we might have too, but neither of us could remember. i would be lying if I said i wasn’t hoping to get her number. Her friend said out loud “you are trying to hit on her” and for a second i was caught. and then i took my phone and said “give me your number…see NOW i’m hitting on her” in a way to suggest that i really wasn’t trying to hit on her blatantly to begin with, and having finished the “joke” i took my phone back just as she was reaching for it. she said “oh you don’t want my number? fine whatever” and sort of looked a little hurt. so after about 10 seconds i said “FINE” and gave her my phone. I texted her later, and we’ll probably hang out sometime.
Ok as for the analysis of p98:
today I think the hangover prevented me from the crazy intense studying i was doing before. however, and this is hard to describe, I still felt focused. nothing was bothering me. i didn’t experience a seperation from a lifetime of emotional baggage like with p103, but it was just new things didn’t bother me. I was relaxed and easy to talk to. Under pressure of being caught gaming a girl, i stayed calm and got through it.
People seemed content with me. everyone who came near me was laughing and smiling.
I still have a little bit of this bottle left, maybe enought for 1-2 more tests depending on the dose. I’ll try to Iron it out before then.