# Persistence in a man is attractive to women: article from theapproach.com **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [December 4, 2007, 2:54pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/persistence-in-a-man-is-attractive-to-women-article-from-theapproach-com/7129 "2007-12-04T14:54:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 2\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PheroQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@PheroQuirk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroQuirk)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2007, 2:54pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/persistence-in-a-man-is-attractive-to-women-article-from-theapproach-com/7129/1 "2007-12-04T14:54:20Z")
from [theapproach.com](http://theapproach.com) Persistence. It’s what differentiates able, successful men who achieve great things in their lives from all other men, who bow when faced with difficulty. Every man who has great things come into his life brings such things about because he is persistent in chasing his dreams, his goals, and his objectives. And women absolutely love that kind of man. Persistence in pushing for what one wants is a strong and attractive trait in a man. It is a quality quite different from neediness or obsessiveness in pursuing something… men who are needy or obsessed are, at the core of it, ruled by their fears. Because they feel helpless and not in control, they place all of their hopes upon one or two things: that one specific job they absolutely must land, that one particular woman they require for happiness, a certain outcome they need in order to feel accomplished. If a man can persist without neediness, he will be perceived as someone who is playful, confident, self-assured: a man who will not take no for an answer, and is not discouraged by a few harsh words from a woman. After all, words are words… and the persistent man knows that actions speak louder! There are a few clear, differentiated stages that men are in when it comes to their attitudes with women, and how they are perceived by women. The first, and worst, is the obsessive / needy stage - where a man is living in a “scarcity mentality”, meaning that he sees women as rare resources and puts a tremendous amount of pressure on himself to be successful in every interaction he has with a woman. These men exude neediness and validation-seeking - which is extremely unattractive to women. Often, these men will try and try again to get with the same girls, but this is not the kind of persistence that women appreciate. It is not persistence because he has options and likes her; it is persistence out of desperation, because in his mind he HAS no other valid options. Once a man shakes off neediness, sometimes he also stops following through with women that he meets who are not immediately receptive to him. He may begin to feel that he is meeting enough women that it isn’t worth it for him to pursue those who aren’t as eager to be with him as some others are, and that any girl who doesn’t want him can be easily replaced. Because of this mentality, many men miss out on some amazing women… women who need to warm up to a man before they give themselves to him, or who just aren’t ready to see him yet, for whatever reason. * * * As men, we tend to look at the world through the eyes of men. We make a decision once, and that’s IT. It’s final. Men who are wishy-washy and indecisive are looked down upon. A man must be firm and absolute. But women are not like this. A woman may decide that she likes you today, and tomorrow she will not feel like talking to you. Conversely, today she may want nothing to do with you, and tomorrow she will be very excited by the thought that you are coming to meet her. I have dated women who, when I asked how they got together with their previous boyfriends, have told me that they ended up together because the man “kept trying.” Each of these girls told me that a guy proposed a date to her, but she declined. He asked her out again later, and again she declined. Then, later still, he asked her out again — and this time she said yes! The girls went out with these guys purely because they were persistent, and then on the date they realized that hey, this guy isn’t so bad after all! Here’s a fun experiment: talk to every woman you know who’s been dating for a while, and ask her if she’s ever dated a man whom she at first was not interested in or whom she outright rejected originally. All of those men eventually ended up with those women because they were not affected by her original disinterest, and in the end they got the girl. Persistence often shows itself to be a sign of strength and determination when a man first meets a woman. For instance, in a nightclub sometimes a girl will not be immediately receptive to a guy, and he will wander off and rejoin his friends or talk to someone else. If he comes back and reengages that same girl from earlier again later, often he will find that she is happier to see him the second time around than she was the first time he met her. Persistence pays off. Why then are many men not persistent? These are the three most common reasons: - A belief that because a girl was not as warm to him as he would’ve liked, she will not want to see or talk to him again - A decision that he does not have time to worry about women who don’t appear very interested in him - Resentment or bad feelings towards women who don’t appear very interested in him Simply because a girl has been unreceptive to you does NOT mean she will never want to talk to you again. Only rarely this is the case; usually it is not. By being persistent, you will begin to learn where the boundaries are with women, and succeed at pushing past barriers that you will realize were simply imaginary. You may find that that girl you talked to in line at the buffet didn’t really respond when you first talked to her because she was shy or she hadn’t talked to anyone all day and had to warm up to being social first - not because she didn’t like you. The second time around when you go back she is ready to talk to you now. You may find that the girl you talked to on the phone a few days ago and it didn’t go so well is actually glad to hear from you a week later. Not all the time, but some of the time. And that’s better than giving up on all of those opportunities with women that you liked. If your concern is that you do not have the time to worry about women who are seemingly not very attracted to you, realize that it doesn’t take much time or energy to swoop back by a girl in a nightclub or cafe and talk for a few more minutes, or pick up the phone and call a girl you’ve talked to a few times for another five minutes. It’s really not a huge amount of time spent. Oftentimes men will use this as an excuse to avoid confronting a fear that the girl is not very into him. Get rid of this excuse, and touch bases again with these women that you’ve already invested time in. Sometimes the next conversation you have with her is the one that clicks. Finally, if you feel hurt when a woman doesn’t jump into an interaction with you feet first - don’t! There are many reasons why this can happen. She might not be warmed up to social interaction (maybe you’re one of only a few people she’s talked to all day); she might be having a tough day or night. It could be anything. Shrug it off, and say hi to her later on and see how she’s doing. Try not to see it as her “rejecting you”, because that’s usually not what happened - and even if it is, persistence can sometimes turn that around too! All in all, not only is persistence a trait that will better prepare you to get the things you want out of your interactions with women and out of life in general; it’s also a lot of fun. If you think a girl is cute, why not go and talk to her one more time? You may very well end up thanking yourself later for doing so. ## Chase A. theApproach: The Science of Social Chemistry for the Modern Gentleman ---
**Author:** ![Holmes](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/holmes/32/2128_2.png) [@Holmes](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Holmes)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2007, 4:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/persistence-in-a-man-is-attractive-to-women-article-from-theapproach-com/7129/2 "2007-12-04T16:44:19Z")
Gutten schtuff. (It sure worked for Tommy Lee.) Thanks for posting this.