# Pheromones for a painfully shy girl I'm seeing: test Ammo first, IO or IH is safer **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [April 22, 2011, 9:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/pheromones-for-a-painfully-shy-girl-im-seeing-test-ammo-first-io-or-ih-is-safer/49993 "2011-04-22T09:01:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![lovegin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lovegin](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/lovegin)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 9:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/pheromones-for-a-painfully-shy-girl-im-seeing-test-ammo-first-io-or-ih-is-safer/49993/1 "2011-04-22T09:01:55Z")
As some of you may know, I am seeing a girl that I recently re-made contact with after about 5 years. She is a lot different now but still very painfully shy and withdrawn. She opens up a lot more online chatting to me, facebook etc. She has told me that I am the love of her life, and that she just wants to grow closer and closer to me and doesn’t care how long it takes to open up etc. I feel a lot more open than her, and usually I am doing most of the talking. We tend to like to meet up at night time, as we have privacy and silence to just ‘connect’ and talk and relax together. The last two times we met in some college gardens at night, and sat under the stars together just cuddling. As I said, she is very shy and reserved. I recently purchased a few mones in the hope that it will help a bit. I have ammo, instant honest, instant openness and instant shine. I have not had the time to '‘sweet spot test’ them yet as they just arrived, and I plan to see her again tonight! I was wondering two things: 1. What dosages should I try of each/which ones should I try? 2. I’ve been worrying that maybe I should try to slow down a bit and just help her feel more comfortable with being with me. Maybe not talk as much, match her pace etc etc. what do you guys think? I have been worrying A LOT about it, as I want to make her happy and feel good so badly! I have even been reading up on rapport and seduction techniques (not to get her in bed, just to help her feel at home and comfortable with me!)…however, part of me also feels that I do best by just relaxing, and opening up myself, and in time she will as well. I am quite an insecure person, and when I open up, I tend to want to tell the girls I am with about all of the worries etc that I have etc. Do you think it’l be okay to do this? Any help and answers to my questions will be greatly appreciated! At the moment, I am thinking that the whole meeting at night and sitting in the field talking is a nice ice breaker. I don’t feel she feels confident enough with me to do more or go to the cinema or something, although I’d love to take her! ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 9:07am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/pheromones-for-a-painfully-shy-girl-im-seeing-test-ammo-first-io-or-ih-is-safer/49993/2 "2011-04-22T09:07:04Z")
I know you want to get in there straight away but it might be best if you held-off exposing her to them until you do some sweet spot testing first - esp for [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/). Saying that, a spray or two of IO or IH is unlikely to be problematic, so you could go with that. Personally I wouldn’t use them together and as it seems you don’t have a problem with conversation, I would suggest going for the closeness/bonding properties of the IH. 🙂 And maybe start stepping-up your confidence around her - How about just telling her you are both going to the cinema or somewhere. Maybe she’s just wanting you to take the lead? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lovegin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lovegin](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/lovegin)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 9:42am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/pheromones-for-a-painfully-shy-girl-im-seeing-test-ammo-first-io-or-ih-is-safer/49993/3 "2011-04-22T09:42:12Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > I know you want to get in there straight away but it might be best if you held-off exposing her to them until you do some sweet spot testing first - esp for Ammo. > > Saying that, a spray or two of IO or IH is unlikely to be problematic, so you could go with that. Personally I wouldn’t use them together and as it seems you don’t have a problem with conversation, I would suggest going for the closeness/bonding properties of the IH. 🙂 > > And maybe start stepping-up your confidence around her - How about just telling her you are both going to the cinema or somewhere. Maybe she’s just wanting you to take the lead? 🙂 Yes, I think maybe she is wanting me to take the lead a bit…I find that I’ll go on talking and talking about ‘us’ and myself etc…and for 5 minutes she won’t say a word, then she might say ‘‘i love you too’’ or a very short phrase. I think I might take her to the field, talk a bit and then surprise her and take her to the movies! Thankyou mobo I lovve that idea! She also has depression which makes me feel even more isnecure. I find it hard to ‘get through’ to her sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![lovegin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lovegin](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/lovegin)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 1:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/pheromones-for-a-painfully-shy-girl-im-seeing-test-ammo-first-io-or-ih-is-safer/49993/4 "2011-04-22T13:59:21Z")
Im wondering how I could talk to her and get her to actually face me as we talk. I think part of the reason she likes to cuddle up to me is because of her shyness. Maybe I should just let this be until she naturally feels ready to open up more? Or should I take an initiative and instead of cuddle her, maybe hold her hand and sit opposite her and talk instead? ---
**Author:** ![THE\_GHOST](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/the_ghost/32/1990_2.png) [@THE\_GHOST](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/THE_GHOST)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/pheromones-for-a-painfully-shy-girl-im-seeing-test-ammo-first-io-or-ih-is-safer/49993/5 "2011-04-22T14:09:44Z")
I tend to want to tell the girls I am with about all of the worries etc that I have etc. Do you think it’l be okay to do this? I am not an expert but this is a bad Idea IME, Try and keep your time together positive as possible, especially if she has deppression issue’s, you really want her to look forward to your meetings. If you want her to open up to you she needs to feel comfortable and safe around you, if you tell her all your worries and problems you might appear weak and insecure which are both very unatractive qualities. Its a shame you dont have IG because I think IG+IH+IS would be a great combo for your situation as long as you are congruant. ---
**Author:** ![lovegin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lovegin](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/lovegin)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/pheromones-for-a-painfully-shy-girl-im-seeing-test-ammo-first-io-or-ih-is-safer/49993/6 "2011-04-22T14:45:49Z")
> [@THE\_GHOST](#): > > I tend to want to tell the girls I am with about all of the worries etc that I have etc. Do you think it’l be okay to do this? > > I am not an expert but this is a bad Idea IME, Try and keep your time together positive as possible, especially if she has deppression issue’s, you really want her to look forward to your meetings. If you want her to open up to you she needs to feel comfortable and safe around you, if you tell her all your worries and problems you might appear weak and insecure which are both very unatractive qualities. Its a shame you dont have IG because I think IG+IH+IS would be a great combo for your situation as long as you are congruant. Experience in the past tells me that confidently opening up your feelings to a lot of girls shows them that you can be trusted, that you are confident enough to do so, that you are different from other guys. I’m not talking about breaking down about problems and issues. ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 3:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/pheromones-for-a-painfully-shy-girl-im-seeing-test-ammo-first-io-or-ih-is-safer/49993/7 "2011-04-22T15:09:49Z")
I tend to haver on this - Yes you can tell them but at the same time, you are going to have to assert your strength, confidence and sexuality in other ways. So if you don’t feel up to that yet, stick to the positive line. I wouldn’t radically change your body language just yet - esp if she is into cuddling - You want to keep that! 🙂 However you could pull away, then speak to her from a more face-on aspect for a while, then return to cuddling. This tension/change/different form of kino can in itself triger attraction. Don’t end-up being a human yo-yo tho! ---
**Author:** ![THE\_GHOST](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/the_ghost/32/1990_2.png) [@THE\_GHOST](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/THE_GHOST)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 3:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/pheromones-for-a-painfully-shy-girl-im-seeing-test-ammo-first-io-or-ih-is-safer/49993/8 "2011-04-22T15:11:54Z")
> [@lovegin](#): > > Experience in the past tells me that confidently opening up your feelings to a lot of girls shows them that you can be trusted, that you are confident enough to do so, that you are different from other guys. I’m not talking about breaking down about problems and issues. I agree with you to a certain extent that opening up about your feelings to women can build comfort, but telling them ALL your worries will not make you look confident IMO. ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/pheromones-for-a-painfully-shy-girl-im-seeing-test-ammo-first-io-or-ih-is-safer/49993/9 "2011-04-22T17:46:09Z")
Sure you want to be different from all the other guys, but in a positive way. Women want a strong confident man they know they can just let their guard down around and not worry about having to handle issues. Read David Deida’s The Way Of The Superior Man for a great look at masculine and feminine energies. We have both, but as a man you want to primarily live in your masculine and she in her feminine. You need these polar opposites to feel attraction. Just a quick rundown. When you come to her “opening up.” What you are essentially doing is whining. You are bitching like a little girl, this forces her to go in one of two directions. She either becomes repulsed by this and stays in her feminine then starts to look for a more masculine man. Or she is forced into her masculine while you are in your feminine. This is fine for a short time, but if you are constantly staying in your feminine and she is forced into her masculine she will take on much more masculine qualities and you could then become repulsed, or she could become resentful and once again start looking for a more masculine man. I had a long conversation with my niece a few weeks back about her manipulative boyfriend who is needy, clingy and very emotional. Before I could even get this explanation out her words were…“OMG its like I have to be the dude!” Its okay to be vulnerable, vulnerable is not weak. Vulnerable is accepting you have faults, weak is living in those faults and allowing them to cause you to collapse into a ball of jelly when they arise. My advice. If you have problems, go to a guy friend, a parent, or a doctor. She is not your men’s support group, she is not your therapist, she is not your mom or dad she is your girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![thegentleman](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thegentleman/32/1770_2.png) [@thegentleman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/thegentleman)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/pheromones-for-a-painfully-shy-girl-im-seeing-test-ammo-first-io-or-ih-is-safer/49993/10 "2011-04-22T17:59:11Z")
Okay enough with the cuddling and intense moments, just go have some fun. Cuddling etc is fine, but this does not necessarily mean love, it could very well mean needy and clingy for both of you and in the end you will smother whatever is there. Yes take the lead, text her something like, “put on something cute I’m picking you up at 6.” Then take her out to a fun cafe that’s maybe playing some music. This time of year, Spring and Summer there are a lot of outdoors things to do. We have bands playing at parks, in gazebos at out door malls. There’s zoos, botanical gardens, museums all kinds of stuff that represent life, color, vitality, creativity etc. Go do something that will bring energy and excitement into whatever it is you guys are developing here.