# Rant about my strict sister as a stepmother: advice to listen without judging

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/rant-about-my-strict-sister-as-a-stepmother-advice-to-listen-without-judging/2758>\
**Category:** Lounge\
**Created:** [March 27, 2007, 12:26am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/rant-about-my-strict-sister-as-a-stepmother-advice-to-listen-without-judging/2758 "2007-03-27T00:26:01Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 2

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**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2007, 12:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/rant-about-my-strict-sister-as-a-stepmother-advice-to-listen-without-judging/2758/2 "2007-03-27T00:43:58Z")

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i know people like that.

i think we all do.

first off, since we can agree that you cannot change her, one thing you can do is feel better about it.

by seeing things from your sisters point of view, you will be in a different place mentally/emotionally and that is the only way you can ever be of help.

imagine for a moment that your sister,while feeling like a sexy mature woman, feels this new responsibility for raising a daughter the right way.

is it possible she feels there will be gossip of her inability to raise a girl?  
talk about her shortcommings as a parent, critisism ?

maybe she’s feeling inadequate, and being around women able to handle motherhood/ womanhood is just drawing attention to her own negative feelings.

no one does anything negative unless they themselves are feeling less-than.

**from a good feeling place, no one hurts anyone.**

judging by her actions in your rant, she is unhappy and fearful.

talking to someone (maybe you) might help.  
all she needs is someone to listen **without an opinion.**

to hear that you are wrong in any way imediatly causes you to put up a wall.

your neice does leave the house, so she will see that not everyone follows the rules mom makes.  
she will eventually see what mom says doent mesh with society, and it doesnt mesh with what she does herself.

kids learn _by example_, i certainly thought my mom was full of sh\*t to tell us dont smoke while she puffed 😉

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