# Resolutions for Better Living **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [January 27, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/resolutions-for-better-living/35768 "2010-01-27T17:21:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jakeable83](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f1d935/32.png) [@jakeable83](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jakeable83)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/resolutions-for-better-living/35768/1 "2010-01-27T17:21:21Z")
Okay so I know its a bit late in the month for this topic… and its a pretty trite subject but here it is anyways. After reading some threads by Tacitus I’ve been recently reminded about the power of introspection and its effect in self growth. So I have shined the light inward to figure out what I can make a conscious effort to do this year to better myself. Before I get into my new years resolution I challenge you to do the same… look to see something you could improve upon, post your resolution here and use your declaration to this wonderful community for your accountability to achieve whatever betterment you desire. On to my resolution; I am going to start taking more action in life. I have for too long now floated through life not putting myself out there as much and have done almost the bare minimum to get by (this is somewhat an exaggeration but you get my point). I am tired of allowing myself to be average when I know I can achieve more. This means I will start that book I have always wanted to read… Begin AND finish that project I’ve been thinking about… Approach more of the type of women I find attractive (not allowing any preconceived notions stop be from at least trying). No matter what happens when I look back on any given situation for better or worse I want to be able to at least say at least I tried. This is a promise I make to you and myself. Now its your turn if you dare to join me in this journey of self improvement… I will also make another promise that I will be here to support you with your endeavors and hope you will be able to help me along the way as well… Good Luck!!! ---
**Author:** ![tacitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tacitus)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/resolutions-for-better-living/35768/2 "2010-01-27T18:44:35Z")
If I could add one life learning: very often as a young guy I was intimidated, far too easily intimidated by things I thought I couldn’t understand… the funny and self limiting thing was that the intimidation happened on an unconscious level… would take one look at a tough textbook or something else I assumed was over my head and surrender in advance… after speaking with a large sample of younger generation (after senility set in in my life) they would often tell me that yes, they were secretly intimidated too… they had a self image that they could never “get it”… success and excellence were the lot of more fortunate people… so when something challenging, or foreign to their worldview, anything that there was no comfortable, prearranged response to, they would tune out, go blank, and often cop an insecure abrasive style to deflect their confusion. What I learned to counsel them was, “lean into the intimidation”… don’t get psyched off your A game because an unknown just appeared, get comfortable with not knowing, and get comfortable with appearing not to know… they’d tell me of a lot of social pressure not to ask certain questions or raise points that they found confusing… their girlfriends would become edgy if the looked too hard at the logic behind their relationships, professors would growl and give them the stink eye if they raised a tough point… bosses would mock them and redefine their curiosity as making fools out of themselves or having an attitude problem… I kept telling them that when that happened, it didn’t mean they were playing an inferior hand, probably they were onto something that needed to be surfaced, or the confusion that they would resolve would clear up unspoken questions in everyone’s mind. So the golden lesson here is that confusion, feeling small, voicing uncertainty are powerful signals and acts that your unconscious mind is providing you as a suggestion that you could ask that one unexpected, totally right on question that suddenly clicks in everyone’s mind… ---
**Author:** ![stevios](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@stevios](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/stevios)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 9:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/resolutions-for-better-living/35768/3 "2010-01-28T09:29:31Z")
One of the few things I’m confident of in my life is that I could do more if I didn’t stop myself doing things on an assumption of how other people will act. For example, I won’t ring people about business because I assume they will reject me and I’m not totally comfortable accepting that rejection. SO: I am going to stop making objections for people before they make them themselves. I am going acknowledge that if someone turns me away it is not a rejection of me, or a judgement on what I do, just that it is not necessarily appropriate for them at that time. In short, I guess, I’m going to work on having more confidence. Like many, lack of confidence is what holds me back the most but I’m going to stop using that as an excuse to justify mediocrity. I’m not going to let fear of failure stand in the way of success any longer. Happy to share that journey of life betterment with you 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Butterfly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/butterfly/32/1942_2.png) [@Butterfly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/resolutions-for-better-living/35768/4 "2010-01-29T16:35:44Z")
Every time of the year is a good time for self improvement. My things I’m working on: I’m going to read The Gift of Fear and stay safer. Learn about investing so I can be better off financially. (I already started automatic saving.) Eat more organic food, more veggies and less processed foods. Start using better quality vitamins. Repair all the clothes in the “need mending” stash. Improve my dancing (This is an ongoing thing for me, I started dancing more seriously last year and it is helping a lot.) Learn to listen better. A word of advice to all the shy people: I talk to strangers a lot and the only people who respond unfavorably and moody or awkward people who lack social skills. I used to be really shy as a child, then as a teenager I did not want to be shy anymore and I would just go for a walk with my friend and we asked people all sorts of nonsensical questions. Sometimes we just took the mickey out of adults or asked them to help with our homework and I had so many laughs doing those things. I did promotion work and public speaking as part of a volunteer job. Practice makes perfect, really. Nowadays I’m in conversations with people pretty much automatically. It’s my habit to just say things like “So you’re going to the third floor?” and most people just start talking to me. People can sense a friendly, open person. You also get treated a lot better if people know you as a friendly person.