# she a bitch or i silly? advice? **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [March 16, 2010, 8:24am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/she-a-bitch-or-i-silly-advice/37054 "2010-03-16T08:24:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![seekingadvice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58f4c7/32.png) [@seekingadvice](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/seekingadvice)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/she-a-bitch-or-i-silly-advice/37054/21 "2010-03-22T00:50:41Z")
> [@bedojo](#): > > seeking, id be sure to not only focus on the negatives, tell her what u like she does good or w.e. to much nonnatives seems like attacking. > and imo virgins are not worth the hassle, being a girls first love is horrible (to me). > not saying just to score, i mean to have a good relationship they dont know how to, and i try not to waste my time on them. Definitely, will make use of some positives 😛 I don’t see why I cant believe your opinion lol. I think you’re right about that. It’s my first time lol, so was hard for me. As for her, the way she thinks/acts, I can’t understand a dam thing about what’s holding her back. Maybe its her parents (can’t be 100% true). Maybe she was confused? Who knows the answer to this. One thing I don’t understand, if they don’t want to think about a relationship with ANYONE, why do they dress up all good n to the extreme? ---
**Author:** ![Olfact\_Amorous](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/olfact_amorous/32/434_2.png) [@Olfact\_Amorous](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Olfact_Amorous)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/she-a-bitch-or-i-silly-advice/37054/22 "2010-03-22T02:15:33Z")
> [@seekingadvice](#): > > Definitely, will make use of some positives 😛 > > I don’t see why I cant believe your opinion lol. I think you’re right about that. It’s my first time lol, so was hard for me. As for her, the way she thinks/acts, I can’t understand a dam thing about what’s holding her back. Maybe its her parents (can’t be 100% true). Maybe she was confused? Who knows the answer to this. One thing I don’t understand, if they don’t want to think about a relationship with ANYONE, why do they dress up all good n to the extreme? Girls only dress well to be competitive with other women IMO. Getting men’s attention is only a perceived plus not the main issue. You will only find pain in your midst being hung up on one girl. Infatuation is not to be confused with love. Remember who you are and where you stand and realize sometimes you just have to walk away whether you like it or not. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 12:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/she-a-bitch-or-i-silly-advice/37054/23 "2010-03-22T12:06:50Z")
Bedojo, you seem to have it under control and are doing the right thing by not taking the back seat and making it clear with your actions. My view on texting or using the phone in general when your supposed to be spending time with another individual is that you shouldn’t. If I am out with just friends I will answer my texts or phone but never when out with my husband (although we do glance at the screen to see if its the kids in case there is a emergency) . Its not really a conscious choice that makes me not answer. I love being with him and I give him my full attention when I am. IMO if your dating this girl when your together she should give you the respect of her full attention. If she is not giving you her full attention then IMO she is not that into you especially if she is texting old boyfriends and playing on facebook. > [@](#): > > Perfectly said, I wish the girl I’ve been stuck (friend zone)with would understand this? If only, when its over, it should be over. She has never went out with anyone in her life. ONLY wants to be FRIENDS with people. It was like me and my friend were fighting for HER BEST FRIEND place? childish. He backstabbed me and her, I let him go, permanently. Her on the other hand, knows he keeps trying on her, and when he does, lets him go, and then they end up talking. So it’s a cycle when I and her talk, him and her dont. When me and her dont talk, they do. (Can’t really let her go myself, but maybe i should think about it) > > Wish more girls were like you. > > I think the girl that you are talking about bedojo, is confused. BUT Maybe she is clever yet acts innocent. Feels as if she is just this type of girl I have been stuck with. Make sure, she knows that YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON AND YOU’RE NOT STUPID. If she continues, PLAY GAMES WITH HER. Mixed signs give and take an inch. Seekingadvice… Your situation is different then Bedojo’s. He is dating this girl. You mention “your” girl has never dated and she has said she just wants to be friends. I know that you and this third person both have more interest then friendship with her but that is not her fault. The way I see it you and this other guy are the ones playing games with her friendship. There is a distinct line between the expectations between friends and between two individuals intimately involved. She is not making you fight for “best friend” status that is both your doing and she should not have to choose. Friends dont have the right to tell people who they should and should not be friends with or who they should talk to and how much. Bedojo is not telling his GF to not be friends with someone he is saying when your with me give me the respect of your full attention. Sure I have friends who have friends I cant stand but I dont expect them to drop them cause I dont like them. That’s my problem not theirs. My best friend is male, we have been friends for over 20 years. There is a few girls he is friends with I dont like but I dont tell him to stop being friends with them even though I will tell him what I think of them. You have to remember her feelings for you have absolutely nothing to do with her feelings for him. I think your expecting her to choose and she has already made her choice you just dont like it. She chose to just be friends with both of you. I think you need to make a choice now. How much do you value her friendship ? Can you be a friend without expectations of more ? If you value the friendship then back off and let her be friends with who she wants. If you and her were meant to be more then that it will happen when your BOTH ready for that to happen. In the mean time dont sit around waiting for that moment because it may never come. Go out…date…have fun. If your friendship has no value to you if your not more then friends then walk away but dont blame her for your feelings. Again dont feel bad about it not working out, its not a refection of who you are. I am sure your the perfect man for more then a few women out there. You just need to get out there so they can find you. I am not telling you this to be harsh but because its something you have to know about friendships verses relationships. You going to have lots of friends in your life that come and go both male and female. A lot of men and women know how to be a boyfriend/girlfriend but they dont know how to be a friend with the opposite sex. Its a age old dilemma > [@](#): > > I can’t understand a dam thing about what’s holding her back. Maybe its her parents (can’t be 100% true). Maybe she was confused? Who knows the answer to this. One thing I don’t understand, if they don’t want to think about a relationship with ANYONE, why do they dress up all good n to the extreme? Olfact is right…How we dress, act or feel for that matter has more to do with ourselves then it does with the opposite sex. Sure people notice when we dress up and look good and that makes us feel good but it doesn’t mean we want to be with someone. If you truly want to understand what is holding her back put it in this perspective… Think of a girl your “just friends” with. It doesn’t have to be close close friendship. Just someone you like and connect as a person and have a friendship with but are not interested in dating. Now ask yourself why if you like this person, you dont want to date her. What is holding you back ? More then likely your going to think “I have no sexual attraction to her” or “I just dont feel anything more then friendship for her” Should she stop being your friend because you dont want to be more then friends ? Do you have to be her “best friend” to be her friend ? Of course not, if this were true then most of us would have no friends of the opposite sex at all. I know it sucks when you feel something more for someone and they dont reciprocate those feelings. Its happened to every person on this planet. Its not always easy for males and females to maintain a “just friends” relationship. You may think I dont know how you feel but I do. I recall posting this in the forum a long time ago but I cant find it right now. I would like to say it was Love at first sight with my husband but its wasn’t. My husband and I were close friends for a long time before he came to his senses LOL I always loved him but he thought of me as a friend and I had to watch him date girls and fall in and out of lust. We always maintained a friendship though because my feelings for him were my problem, not his. I didnt sit around waiting of course. I will admit it bothered me at times and sometimes I felt hurt and I think he was aware of my feelings although he has said he wasn’t. One day it just clicked, he just broke up with a girl and we were hanging with some other friends talking about it and I asked him what are you looking for in a girl. He thought about it and then described what he wanted. He described me and after his friends pointed out you just described Tisha he said yes someone more like me. Well you think this would of made me happy but it pissed me off LOL. He could not figure out why I was pissed. I told him you want someone like me but not me. To make a long story short he wanted someone just like me that didnt really matter to him so if it didnt work it wouldn’t matter. I mattered and he was afraid to take that risk. He had to learn for himself that anything that matters to us in life involved risk and if your not willing to take that risk you already lost what matters. Now that I bored you to death with my old persons story LOL… Relationships can be confusing exilliranting hurtful fun etc etc… All of our emotions become involved. I know you took a risk with this girl and even if it dosnt work out when you look back when your my age you will be happy you took the risk. All these risks we take make us grow and shape our characters. You get to choose how it shapes yours. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![bedojo](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bedojo/32/1027_2.png) [@bedojo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bedojo)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/she-a-bitch-or-i-silly-advice/37054/24 "2010-03-22T17:18:10Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > Bedojo, you seem to have it under control and are doing the right thing by not taking the back seat and making it clear with your actions. > > My view on texting or using the phone in general when your supposed to be spending time with another individual is that you shouldn’t. If I am out with just friends I will answer my texts or phone but never when out with my husband (although we do glance at the screen to see if its the kids in case there is a emergency) . Its not really a conscious choice that makes me not answer. I love being with him and I give him my full attention when I am. IMO if your dating this girl when your together she should give you the respect of her full attention. If she is not giving you her full attention then IMO she is not that into you especially if she is texting old boyfriends and playing on facebook. that is basically how i feel, she has guy friends, i dont care if she hangs with them, i dont care if she talks to them, i just hate the disrespect of txting other ppl when ur out with someone. i hardly txt when im even hanging with my guy friends lol ---
**Author:** ![bedojo](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bedojo/32/1027_2.png) [@bedojo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bedojo)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/she-a-bitch-or-i-silly-advice/37054/25 "2010-03-23T03:29:02Z")
and the truth is it is mainly my fault for the failing of the relationship, i am decent at the pick up and seduction, but the LTR is where i fall on my face. now i know the next thing i need to work on for when i find the girl i might want to stick around for a bit, its nice to have someone there once in a while lol ---
**Author:** ![Butterfly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/butterfly/32/1942_2.png) [@Butterfly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 6:35am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/she-a-bitch-or-i-silly-advice/37054/26 "2010-03-23T06:35:48Z")
To be friends, it is best to appreciate and enjoy the friendship for its own sake. If, to you, it is nothing but a vehicle to a different kind of relationship, it is better not to be in that friendship. It would only wear you down. I would say that for a succesful LTR, the person is best someone you can appreciate as a friend and with whom there has always been an underlying sexual/romantic tension expressed in some flirtation. Chances are the two of you are pretty compatible as there is attraction and fondness at once. It is normal to desire more after a while, but if you are counting the hours until you can get in her pants, you are either insecure and cannot stand the uncertainty or you are in lust rather than love and it would be preferable to be honest and not feign friendship. If you enjoy the friendship, and there is no tension and flirtation, there is no reason to take things to the next level. Platonic friendships with the opposite sex can be highly valuable. I have a male friend I have no romantic interest in, and that is mutual, but we have plenty of shared intellectual interests and have great conversations about our personal development, we learn so much from each other. I can comfortably hang with his fiance because she knows he is like a brother to me. ---
**Author:** ![Twogunz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4da419/32.png) [@Twogunz](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Twogunz)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 11:49am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/she-a-bitch-or-i-silly-advice/37054/27 "2010-07-13T11:49:40Z")
Ya did the right thing asking her to cease and desist from texting. I had one hot babe out for dinner at my fave restaurant (not a cheap place) and she was talking on her cell phone and texting. After about ten minutes of this behaviour, I waited until she put her cell down, and picked it up, put it on my side of the table and told her. " I came to have dinner with you, and conversation not have you have conversations with other people. If you wish to leave do so now. If not I expect your full attention without any ADD. I then turned my cell off in front of her and turned hers off as well. Up came her Bitch shield. She started on me. I cut her off at the knees. My last words to her were . You may be good looking and smoking hot, but you have the manners of an imbecile. You may leave my table, at which point I summoned the Maitre D and advised him that madam was not going to be dining with me tonite. He escorted her to the cloak room. The restaurant was a high class affair , where i normally dine three times a month. I am well known and well liked by all the staff Try getting table is very difficult although i have no problems (they like me) as all tables were full, just before I iordered, the maitre D came back and asked me if I would consider sharing my table with a young lady (he winked at me). I told him no problem at all. She sat down, introduced herself to me, thanked me , and then reached into her purse and turned off her cell. I smiled.. There are some people that GET IT, most don’t. We had a great dinner, and I paid for hers as well. The conversation was superb and of high intellect. This brunette was stunning in looks and smart . Oh Yeah… no mones were used that nite, it was a great nite and even better next three months > [@bedojo](#): > > 😠 > > okie soo been seeing this girl for a few months, was thinking ltr with her. but some shit arose.. or will never went away. > > so tonight was posting something on her f book, and saw oh her ex bf posted stuff a few days ago and she just posted something on his. so i go look, says > > pissed me off to say the least, cuz a while ago we were out for breakfast, she was txting during my breakfast i was (originally ) taking her out for, i told her to put the phone away while im out with u 1 on 1 kinda thing. > i dont think that was unreasonable, few mins later she gets txt and checks it and does it another time. > i then say didnt i ask u to stop? what is so important that it needs to interrupt my meal with u (she stops talking when txt and stuff) > > she says “oh exbf is telling me about the earthquake that hit peru and stuff” > > that pissed me off ended up having her pay, dropping her of at her place and going home. > > names left out for privacy > > i dont think im being stupid, > im not stalking her fbook, shit i didnt even know about ones 4 days old until i was posting something to her, > > what yall think? > thanks > ~nate ---
**Author:** ![tacitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tacitus)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/she-a-bitch-or-i-silly-advice/37054/28 "2010-07-13T16:01:21Z")
Factoid worth considering: communication technology, particularly text based messaging systems, strongly engage left hemisphere activity (in the normally organized brain)… whereas the intuitive sense of social appropriateness appears to arise predominately in the right hemisphere. My belief is that in “weakly directed” minds… those minds that have a relatively limited power of choice about how they will operate in a particular context… the mind/brain is effectively captured and scripted by technology in front of it. Thus I think it is quite plausible that these novel technologies are allowing us to _become aware of distinctions between subtle forms of feeble-mindedness versus strong-mindedness that might not have been AS obvious in a less discriminating context_. An analogy might be that of improved staining techniques which allowed scientists to make new, and far clearer distinctions between types of cells under their microscopes. Modern cell stains allow us to see vastly deeper into the internal structure of the cell than ever before… And so it is with modern communication tools, they also act as brain staining techniques, almost like experiments in behavioral psychology that give rise to new forms of philosophical distinction. We are seeing into minds in ways that we could not have seen into minds a generation ago. I also believe that there is a significant correlation between subtly addiction prone psychologies and compulsive gadget use. That gives us an essential window into the fundamental character of the person. People who can’t master themselves to the point that they can make good social decisions in contexts where good social decisions matter might be said to be _character flawed_, they probably cannot fully regulate their behavior in other contexts either. OTOH, persons who can decisively make proactive behavioral choices and comfortably stick with them are probably the same people who are equipped with solid character traits that allow them to form stable identities and exhibit leadership qualities when needed. In other words, the people you want to associate with, long term, if you want to rise with a high quality team or system of personal relationships. 🆒 [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/she-a-bitch-or-i-silly-advice/37054.md?page=1)