# Shy around strangers at 23: what to add to Instant Shine, AMMO and Turn up the Heat? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [June 18, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080 "2008-06-18T20:06:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![centerlanetrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dbc845/32.png) [@centerlanetrue](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/centerlanetrue)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080/1 "2008-06-18T20:06:05Z")
So I am a 23 year old good looking guy. I have no problem with women being attracted to me in anyway. My problem is I am somewhat shy around people I don’t know…even though I am very outgoing in my circle of friends. This obviously has an impact on meeting new girls. What are the best mixes in order to make this easier to do? I am new to this and currently have **[Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/)**, **AMMO** , and **Turn up the Heat**. What would be good additions to help with this? Thanks ---
**Author:** ![mockingbird](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mockingbird/32/1790_2.png) [@mockingbird](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 8:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080/2 "2008-06-18T20:58:42Z")
Definitly io. Really helps alot when meeting new people and having a good time chatting about random things! ---
**Author:** ![hyper8](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/hyper8/32/1965_2.png) [@hyper8](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/hyper8)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080/3 "2008-06-18T23:45:28Z")
Hey, I know the feeling. I’m the same way myself, but am always trying to improve my social skills. I think building our personality is most important and then using some Ammo or [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) as sort of the icing on the cake. Actually any of the Instant line pheros have worked great for me! ---
**Author:** ![Daedelus76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Daedelus76](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Daedelus76)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 1:07am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080/4 "2008-06-19T01:07:35Z")
TAK or WAGG. I like diluting WAGG with about 6-7 drops in 2 1/2 mL of alcohol and cologne, and spraying that, 1-2 sprays in an atomizer. Seems to help alot. TAK is also good for this as well and comes premixed (it’s an “eXperimone”), you want about 10-25mcg. You should also read some “self-improvement” books, too. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a good one. I read a chapter about every night or so, I’ve read several chapters so far. Instant openness / androstenols are very good for getting more eye contact out of yourself. 2 sprays at least if you are shy about that. I used to be very worried about eye contact and didn’t make so much. After about 2 weeks of using [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/), I started noticing I had learned to make more eye contact, even when not using any pheromones at all. Shyness changes very slowly, go easy on yourself and don’t push yourself too hard, just work on little things one at a time. Some people here really cannot relate to extreme shyness (that’s my feeling anyways), so just take some of the advice with a grain of salt. You aren’t a loser or a wierdo, the problem isn’t in your head that you can just shake off, it’s in acquiring the skills and new beliefs, and that takes time and a little effort, there are no miracles for this. Youtube has some good videos too. I recommend Arkady39’s videos. Alot of it is stuff I knew already but it really “clicked” with me. His approach is on focusing on becomming a more interesting, thoughtful person, not necessarily a cocky/fake person like some of the other “advice” I have seen. I think it applies just as much to interacting with people in general as it does to women, but alot of his stuff is oriented towards dating and relationships. I admit I’m still intimidated around women but I like watching his videos sometimes. I’ve also chatted with him on message boards and it’s clear he’s got a good deal of wisdom when it comes to interacting with people. Oh yeah, I should add another thing… what are your friends like? Sometimes friends aren’t real friends, and can drag you down and hurt your self-esteem or self-image. They have problems of their own and project their problems onto you and make you feel bad, but you hang out with them anyways co-depndently. I talked about this with Arkady a bit as well. I’ve noticed my brother’s group of friends he hangs out with are not very emotionally supportive, they are more like vampires really feeding off each other. Make sure you surround yourself with decent people or it will bring you down as well. ---
**Author:** ![centerlanetrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dbc845/32.png) [@centerlanetrue](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/centerlanetrue)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 12:29pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080/5 "2008-06-19T12:29:46Z")
see here is the wierd thing…i dont think its that im extremely shy and i actually am not nervous at all when talking to girls. I also don’t have a problem with my self esteem …its actually really high I know I’m a good looking guy and when im out and see girls i know that if i tried there is not many i coudnt get. (not trying to sound over confident) I am even in a moderatly successful pop rock band which does some touring and I have to play in front of hundreds/thousands of people many times a month and have no problems or worries about doing so. My problem is in the actually first contact. I reciently just got out of a long relationship and I am trying to get back out there and for my big problem is starting the conversation. For some reason i just can’t seem to do it. So i guess what my real question is …is what could i wear that could help get me more attention so when i approach a girl…its more welcomed and not so much of a suprise? Thanks for all the advice by the way i really appreciate it ---
**Author:** ![Daedelus76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Daedelus76](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Daedelus76)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 3:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080/6 "2008-06-20T03:37:38Z")
[Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/) 2-3 sprays. Maybe TAK 10-15mcg/spray. Definitely Instant Shine 2+ sprays. I’m not yet at the stage I can just walk up to people and start talking to them, but I’m at the stage if something happens, I can comment on it, and start a conversation consisting of small talk. So I’m not an expert on that but there are experts out there on “pickup lines” to start a conversation with women and who have alot of confidence in their abilities. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is still worth reading. Also, the previous videos I mentioned would probably help you alot. Being in a pop rock band isn’t the sine qua none of self-esteem, either. I bet there’s plenty of rock musicians who, if not for the fame, would be alot worse off (and heck, some of them are worse off). They aren’t comfortable being themselves at all, so they hide behind a persona. Don’t be too dismissive of self-improvement. ---
**Author:** ![data4](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/data4/32/272_2.png) [@data4](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/data4)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 7:49am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080/7 "2008-06-20T07:49:52Z")
Robert Smith is the frontman for one of the most acclaimed British new wave bands of the 80s and 90s, The Cure. I’ve been to a couple of concerts, and my God, there are women out there who are willing to sacrifice their first born to get a chance with him, but he’s extremely introverted and shy. Kurt Cobain was also shy, but apparantly, he had bigger issues. Just a couple of people who come to mind. -D4 ---
**Author:** ![WildFlower](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wildflower/32/1260_2.png) [@WildFlower](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/WildFlower)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 1:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080/8 "2008-06-20T13:58:52Z")
michael stipe of REM also very shy. Thom Yorke - Radiohead Morrissey - The Smiths Bright Eyes ---
**Author:** ![WildFlower](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wildflower/32/1260_2.png) [@WildFlower](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/WildFlower)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 2:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080/9 "2008-06-20T14:02:40Z")
> [@Daedelus76](#): > > “How to Win Friends and Influence People” It’s good but it’s very old and keeps going of on a tangent with old american history I’ve never heard of before and frankly don’t give a shit about. It taught me to beocme more interested in other people than try to impress people with stories etc. Basically just Smile be genuine and get someone talking about themsevles and you’ll become a winner. I’m going to check Arkady39’s videos out. ---
**Author:** ![mac](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mac/32/796_2.png) [@mac](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mac)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 3:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080/10 "2008-06-20T15:28:09Z")
> [@centerlanetrue](#): > > My problem is in the actually first contact. I reciently just got out of a long relationship and I am trying to get back out there and for my big problem is starting the conversation. For some reason i just can’t seem to do it. So i guess what my real question is …is what could i wear that could help get me more attention so when i approach a girl…its more welcomed and not so much of a suprise? This is where I sound like a wise-ass and state the obvious but in the interests of helping you, I say these things as a former sufferer: - being in a long term relationship which has ended for whatever reason you have learned that when talking to someone that it’s important to give a shit about what’s being said. It’s not. Even the nicest, most interesting and fun people in the world don’t really expect anything that’s said in the first few minutes of any conversation to be anything other than forgettable crap. Indeed, it’s almost expected. It’s nice to start off with pithy, sharp witty conversation but it’s only a start (a few _seconds_ and it’s true brilliance will almost certainly be missed even by the sharpest of cookies), it’s a hook nothing more so why sweat over it? Janka even talks about being rude or dismissive just to get the other person thinking “WTF” and start from there. - approach anxiety is well covered in lots of texts and DVDs, some of which are free (including this!) - pheros can help with not giving so much of a shit whether you crash and burn, and are a lot more helpful than booze or other things when all of a sudden you don’t and the game’s on - Dave Lee Roth was cripplingly shy apparently and he managed (I’m joking) Personally, when it all goes wrong and I’m standing there like a tit, I’m my own best friend, we laugh about it and move on (via a large Scotch) ---
**Author:** ![Redundancy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea5d25/32.png) [@Redundancy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Redundancy)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 4:19pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/shy-around-strangers-at-23-what-to-add-to-instant-shine-ammo-and-turn-up-the-heat/14080/11 "2008-06-20T16:19:31Z")
If you ever are having a bit of a down day or feeling a bit less masculine, than AMMO would be good mixed with some Instant Shine and/or [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/). Otherwise just 2 sprays of Instant Shine and a spray of Instant Openness sounds good for you. Good luck!