# sigh...Hello **URL:** \ **Category:** Introductions - New Users, Say "Hello"!\ **Created:** [May 23, 2008, 10:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029 "2008-05-23T22:47:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SiriusC](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/siriusc/32/1764_2.png) [@SiriusC](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SiriusC)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2008, 10:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/1 "2008-05-23T22:47:18Z")
Hi. My name is Christopher. I’m at Syracuse University in NY. I’m the most miserable I’ve ever been in my entire life, & I’ve had a miserable life. I had a friend who I did something wrong to in March 2007. She forgave me exactly 1 year ago. She split just for the summer but we had mild phone contact & I spent the entire summer improving myself so that I would be a better person when she came back. When the school year started last Fall we reformed our friendship so strongly. But a series of gross misunderstandings led her to write me off completely in Feb 2008. Without getting into too much detail, imagine what it would take for your life to go so horribly wrong. It happened to me. I obsess on certain instances where I could’ve been stronger. Deep deep regret. I have irrational thoughts. And now the situation is final: she’s gone, won’t take any of my phone calls, no hope for resolution. This is a person I care deeply about & I missed her so so much. This is a FRIEND. I was the absolute best person I could be but I still failed. Imagine: trying so hard and putting so much effort into something but failing completely. And you’re tortured to see into the past where something could’ve been done. So I guess I’m here to find something to make me “braver” in social situations & to hopefully find someone or something out there to get my mind off all this. But it’s so so hard ---
**Author:** ![mockingbird](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mockingbird/32/1790_2.png) [@mockingbird](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2008, 11:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/2 "2008-05-23T23:11:24Z")
Hello Chris! Welcome to this forum 🙂 I am really sorry to hear what happened to you in the past year. But here is a great opportunity to restart and start off fresh, seriously! Try to not regret anymore and move on, I know it is very hard, but you still have to do it. Everyone has regrets, including me, but with a good will everthing can still be accomplished! What are your current goals and are you willing to try some [pheromone](https://a314.com/) to help you and people around you? EDIT: braver meaning to initiate more conversation for example? And finding someone like a friend or a gf? Don’t give up no matter what 😉 You will be happy once everything is going to settle down! ---
**Author:** ![jamesbonded](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/jamesbonded/32/2090_2.png) [@jamesbonded](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jamesbonded)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2008, 11:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/3 "2008-05-23T23:16:15Z")
Hi sirius, Welcometo the forum. Sorry to hear about your story. I suggest you forget about the incident and start a fresh. To be braver in social, I recommend social pheros. IO is good as an ice breaker to make conversations with girls. They will want to talk to you more. It makes your approach easier. On the other hand, IH will make the conversation more meaningful, intimate and longer lasting. They will tell you personal stuffs. [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) will boost your confidence. You will need the confidence to apprach girls. It can also lift your mood and the mood of the people around you. Have fun. ---
**Author:** ![SiriusC](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/siriusc/32/1764_2.png) [@SiriusC](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SiriusC)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2008, 11:24pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/4 "2008-05-23T23:24:11Z")
Thank you for the kind words. Here’s what I’m looking to do, specifically: I’m gonna mail her a note, a present, & a gift. First, I just don’t want her to throw it out. Second, I want her to read & look at it. Third, and mostly, I want her to repond. Can I spray something on there? What & how much? I get one shot with this. No experimenting. And it has to be done asap. My goal is only her friendship & forgiveness even though we’re distant, physically. Then what I’m looking for is to mix it up & maybe get a gf or something. Just something to get my mind of this other girl. Specifically, I wanna maybe talk to some girls at the gym. I don’t go to clubs or anything so the gym is my social spot. thank you thank you thank you ---
**Author:** ![SiriusC](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/siriusc/32/1764_2.png) [@SiriusC](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SiriusC)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2008, 11:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/6 "2008-05-23T23:34:44Z")
Thank you for the kind words. Specifically what I’m gonna do is mail her a gift w/a letter. First, I don’t want her to throw it out. Second, I want her to actually read it. Third, I want her to **respond**. My goal is just her friendship & forgiveness. What can I spray on there? How much? She does (or did) think fondly of me so I wanna get those feelings out of her. And I have only one show. No room or TIME for experimentation. Second, I wanna start talking to girls maybe at the gym. That’s the most social place I go. And it’s real tough here because no one is around (college campus). Thank you thank you thank you… ---
**Author:** ![jamesbonded](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/jamesbonded/32/2090_2.png) [@jamesbonded](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jamesbonded)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2008, 12:21am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/7 "2008-05-24T00:21:27Z")
> [@SiriusC](#): > > Thank you for the kind words. > > Specifically what I’m gonna do is mail her a gift w/a letter. First, I don’t want her to throw it out. Second, I want her to actually read it. Third, I want her to **respond**. My goal is just her friendship & forgiveness. What can I spray on there? How much? She does (or did) think fondly of me so I wanna get those feelings out of her. And I have only one show. No room or TIME for experimentation. > > Thank you thank you thank you… I personally don’t think phero can do much here. Pheromone cannot change other people neither can it control people. Phero can only help to certain extent but largely still depends on you. For your case, you need time. Only time can help. Change yourself for the better. Prove to her you are good and convince her with your action. However you can try some ammo to get her attraction a bit. ---
**Author:** ![mockingbird](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mockingbird/32/1790_2.png) [@mockingbird](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2008, 12:50am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/8 "2008-05-24T00:50:04Z")
> [@SiriusC](#): > > Thank you for the kind words. > > Specifically what I’m gonna do is mail her a gift w/a letter. First, I don’t want her to throw it out. Second, I want her to actually read it. Third, I want her to **respond**. My goal is just her friendship & forgiveness. What can I spray on there? How much? She does (or did) think fondly of me so I wanna get those feelings out of her. And I have only one show. No room or TIME for experimentation. > > Second, I wanna start talking to girls maybe at the gym. That’s the most social place I go. And it’s real tough here because no one is around (college campus). > > Thank you thank you thank you… Pheromone works at full strenght only in person. Even some of us try to spray it on paper or in mail, the results wasn’t impressive. If you are going to see her (which would be a great thing to do if possible) try instant openness and maybe ih too. I like how io makes people relaxed and let them talk about everything (some silly things too) that comes in their mind. It will be very light and not serious at all ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2008, 1:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/9 "2008-05-24T01:20:22Z")
Hello Christopher and welcome to the forum. Not sure what to tell you about pheromones and trying to make up with an old friend. Maybe Instant shine, Instant Honesty and [Instant Female Magic](https://a314.com/product/instant-female-magic/) could help. IS can help her feel happier around you, IFM could help her relax if there is still some lingering tension and IH could perhaps help her feel you are re-establishing your old rapport. As far as initiating conversations with new people at the gym Instant Openness is definitely the way to go. The Instant Shine will also help. ---
**Author:** ![mark-in-dallas](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mark-in-dallas/32/860_2.png) [@mark-in-dallas](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mark-in-dallas)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2008, 2:58am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/10 "2008-05-24T02:58:36Z")
> [@SiriusC](#): > > Hi. My name is Christopher. I’m at Syracuse University in NY. I’m the most miserable I’ve ever been in my entire life, & I’ve had a miserable life. > > I had a friend who I did something wrong to in March 2007. She forgave me exactly 1 year ago. > > When the school year started last Fall we reformed our friendship so strongly. But a series of gross misunderstandings led her to write me off completely in Feb 2008. Without getting into too much detail, imagine what it would take for your life to go so horribly wrong. > > This is a person I care deeply about & I missed her so so much. This is a FRIEND. > > I was the absolute best person I could be but I still failed. Imagine: trying so hard and putting so much effort into something but failing completely. And you’re tortured to see into the past where something could’ve been done. Hi Christopher, welcome to the forum. You have found a truly incredible place for getting information on pheromones and making new friends! I am sorry for your lost friendship and sincerely hope you are able to get things back to the way they were. But it seems to me that there’s more than a lost friendship you are trying to revive. I am not trying to challenge or question you, but from reading your post, I am seeing a lot more than the mourning of a lost friend here. And, I am not one to sugar coat things or tell someone what they want to hear just for the sake of being nice, because I don’t see how that can possibly help somebody reaching out for help or advice, and in the long run I think it only hurts. With that said, realize that I REALLY do not want to hurt or offend you, but are your feelings for this girl truly only Platonic? After having read you thread a couple of times I am seeing something far more than feelings of friendship emanating from you. And let’s face it, even though they do so much more, pheromones are best known as a sexual communication chemicals and you came to a pheromone forum seeking advice. OK, with all that out of the way, if you are truly just interested in a friendship, don’t try to explain yourself in any letter you send. Just say you are sorry for the misunderstandings and that her friendship was one of the most important things in the world to you, then say that you really hope she can find it in her heart to forgive you and that even if you can’t get back to where you were before, you hope she will find room for you in some part of her life. Then do nothing else! If she responds, you have something to build on. If she does not, you have to be willing to leave her alone and let her go. Now, if you are in love with this girl (and I just have a gut feeling may be the case), and you built a friendship with her hoping that it would grow into something more. Then after becoming best of friends and not having the relationship develop beyond a friendship, and finally deciding to let her know how you felt and that you wanted something more, she backed way off, that is a far more difficult situation to deal with. If the second scenario is the case, then she may very well feel that you had ulterior motives from the start and just led her on. I think your options in this scenario become very limited and you have to do a couple of things: First, you need to show her that you have moved on. Second, assure her that she had been the best of friends and that you never intended for it to happen, but you did fall in love with her. Third, even though this is going to go against everything you want to do, you might want to let her know that you fell in love with her because of the awesome friendship the two of you had, but knowing her as well as you do and with your time apart, you’ve come to realize that the you really weren’t right for each other, and that you’re glad that she was able to see that. This may or may not work, and I can pretty much promise that even if you do get her friendship back, it’s going to be guarded at best for a long time to come. As far as pheros go, it does not sound like you’re going to see her in person anytime soon. If it were me, I would try to find a way to go see her in person, and I would wear [Instant Female Magic](https://a314.com/product/instant-female-magic/), Instant Honesty and Instant Shine. I hope I haven’t offended you, but I try to keep it real, and I wish you all the luck in rebuilding some semblance of a relationship with this girl. ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2008, 9:14am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/11 "2008-05-24T09:14:07Z")
Hello Welcome to Pherotalk 🙂 I am sorry for the troubles you have been going through. The men above have given you great advice. Just keep in mind that in life people come and people go and we all make mistakes and the most important part is that you have learned from those mistakes. Our mistakes and triumphs are what shape us as individuals. Sending a letter with mones on it will not have the effect your hoping for unless you have been wearing those mones for a while in her presense. She will not associate the smell or feeling to you. You will need to wear them in her presense and even if you do they can not change a persons free will. Read this link to get a ideal as to what mones can do for you. > [@What pheromones can and can't do: realistic expectations for newcomers](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-pheromones-can-do-and-what-they-cant-updated/9558): > > A lot of people come in to the forum and read all the wonderful stories about peoples experiences with [pheromone products](https://a314.com/shop/). New people end up trying them out with high expectations and usually as they get to know the product those expectations are met to some extent and sometimes not because there expectations were to high But I think its best for people to have a realistic view on what exactly they can and can not do. I get a lot of PM’s from people asking me why "they couldn’t get there cheati… That being said, you mention wanting something to make you braver. I am assuming its confidence your really looking for. I suggest you look into Ishine, IO and AMMO If you have any questions just ask. 😃 **Your GC will be in your email box shortly** 😃 Tisha ---
**Author:** ![SiriusC](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/siriusc/32/1764_2.png) [@SiriusC](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SiriusC)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2008, 9:04pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/12 "2008-05-24T21:04:04Z")
Thanks, all, for your help an advice. And you’re absolutelt right, Mark. This was always a classic, text-book case of sexual tension. We met at work and she absolutely put out all the signs. But I didn’t act on them because I was just getting out of something with another girl and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get involved with _this_ girl. What a paradox! We kinda had a casual friendship after we split from the same job and there were several opportunities where I could’ve “had her” but the timing was always awful, I was doing other shit or she was. She’s a very elusive & frustrating girl and one night I decided to just come on to her like an ogre. I was drunk and she was NOT and I convinced her to come over to get something. I treated her like crap and that’s when out friendship split. Then fast forward to this year, she accepts my apology and we form a really strong friendship but it was doomed from the start because there was no way I could ever make a move on her again. She called me “disgusting” and said “don’t ever let it happen again”. I still had several opportunities but I never acted on them because I didn’t wanna lose her again. Now in being too careful and friendly I’ve lost her again. Also, a BIG factor was that I fear she may have had sex with somebody during our “friendship” & I definitely did. Mostly over a series of misunderstandings. There’s no chance in me seeing her in person anytime soon. I’ll try some kind of spray & just cross my fingers. I’ve thinking about the note & I know most of the results will come from the words. But I do want her to have an open mind when reading it. In terms of experimenting or guessing what to buy, should I go for those to-go bottles? I know I can “do it” in terms of talking to some people but not total strangers and not for just casual sex. I need something to slap me in the face & get me motivated cos this whole thing with this girl has me in a dark depression & I just don’t care. My apartment is messy & I always look like a bum. Thanks again to everyone! I have a bit more hope now 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2008, 11:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/13 "2008-05-25T11:03:30Z")
> [@](#): > > In terms of experimenting or guessing what to buy, should I go for those to-go bottles? I know I can “do it” in terms of talking to some people but not total strangers and not for just casual sex. I need something to slap me in the face & get me motivated cos this whole thing with this girl has me in a dark depression & I just don’t care. My apartment is messy & I always look like a bum. Yes I suggest you start out with the to-go size bottles. This way you can try more products and see what you like the best. I strongly urge you to get Ishine if your feeling down. The self effects as well as the effect on others is great. Ishine can uplift you, give you confidence and a feeling that you can take on the world.. Good stuff we all love it. IO will help people chat more so its easy to talk with total strangers. Sometimes its to chatty and you need to tell them to shut up LOL So hit the showers Christopher, get a hair cut, Buy some styling clothes and tidy up the apartment just in case ? 😃 The world if full of interesting people and its time to slap on some mones and get out there and meet them. It dosnt mean you have to forget your friend but sitting around depressed is not going to help win back that friendship. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![SiriusC](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/siriusc/32/1764_2.png) [@SiriusC](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SiriusC)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/sigh-hello/13029/14 "2008-05-25T18:53:25Z")
> [@tisha23](#): > > Yes I suggest you start out with the to-go size bottles. This way you can try more products and see what you like the best. > > I strongly urge you to get Instant Shine if your feeling down. The self effects as well as the effect on others is great. > > Ishine can uplift you, give you confidence and a feeling that you can take on the world.. Good stuff we all love it. > > Instant Openness will help people chat more so its easy to talk with total strangers. Sometimes its to chatty and you need to tell them to shut up LOL > > So hit the showers Christopher, get a hair cut, Buy some styling clothes and tidy up the apartment just in case ? 😃 The world if full of interesting people and its time to slap on some pheromones and get out there and meet them. It dosnt mean you have to forget your friend but sitting around depressed is not going to help win back that friendship. > > Tisha Oh man, that is so nice. Thank you very very much. I haven’t even bought any [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) yet but that alone lifts my spirit, thank you.