# So heres my situation and possible solution **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [September 30, 2011, 4:55pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610 "2011-09-30T16:55:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nick.pul](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/nick.pul/32/814_2.png) [@nick.pul](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/nick.pul)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 4:55pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/1 "2011-09-30T16:55:37Z")
First of, im new here, hey guys.. lol. I stumbled on to all this lastnight and couldnt stop reading all the threads, really interesting stuff, almost sounds too good to be true but i have ordered Ammunition, Instant honesty and A314. So now here is why i ordered this, Iv have had this interest for months. She and I work together, the problem is she has been hurt alot before with friends who she ended up sleeping with but didnt get a meaningful relationship out of. But when we first started talking we went out on a date and have gone on a few since,although the problem is, she is so insecure about dating, she wont even aknowledge it. She has brought me into her bedroom before and gotten cold feet, brought me into her house late at night and said “just cause were in here doesnt mean we’re gonna hook up and have sex” after i was playing with her hair. She had admitted to feeling safe around me, extremely comfortable, and wanting to spend more time with me, hell, she even texted me once, called and left me a comment on Fb just to thank me for hanging with her. So there is an obvious attraction but when i make moves, she gets real distant. I genuinely care for this one, thats why i put up with this lol. Iv approached her recently asking how she has felt since she has been so complicated and she says we’re just work friends! please.. you dont call your work friends at 4 in the morning.. and she justified a bunch of things she has done by saying she was only vunerable, even when i brought up her asking her friends what she thinks of me!! Ammunition, A314, and Instant honesty, thats my final resort now, i have done everything possible to have her open up and shes so stubborn! After this very long post (lol sorry, just wanted to give you a good picture), im asking, you guys think this is a good combo? Im a first time user of this and am waiting on my package. Thanks for your time!! (she is 26, i am 24) ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/2 "2011-09-30T17:39:05Z")
> [@nick.pul](#): > > have had this interest for months. > > the problem is she has been hurt alot before with friends who she ended up sleeping with but didnt get a meaningful relationship out of. > > the problem is, she is so insecure about dating, she wont even aknowledge it. > > brought me into her house late at night and said “just cause were in here doesnt mean we’re gonna hook up and have sex” after i was playing with her hair. > > She had admitted to feeling safe around me, extremely comfortable, and wanting to spend more time with me, > > So there is an obvious attraction but when i make moves, she gets real distant. > > I genuinely care for this one, thats why i put up with this lol. > > and she says we’re just work friends! Read my edits very carefully. I think you are being taken for a sucker by a woman who won’t shit or get off of the pot. Yes she likes you and maybe there is a degree of attraction but she has effectively cast you deep into the worst form of friendzone/emotional leeching and does not want to see you walk out of her life. In fact she’s more or less told you this in the last one. And yes, I hope I am truly wrong but IME, this kind of woman will keep you hanging-on the hope of a relationship as long as she possibly can, until someone who really pushes her buttons comes on the scene, then she will ditch you in the most, sudden, brutal, pitiless and heart-shredding way. Even then, she may come bouncing back to you in order get the emotional support the guy who does turn her on knows not to give her. I don’t mean to sound unduly harsh but I’ve been here myself and I can assure you that things got a lot better for me when I started leaving this kind of woman and her winning/whining ways behind. However, I do think pheros could help, so long as you are willing and able to adopt a very different emotional attitude to her and be less of the best friend/teddy bear and more of a real potential lover. Don’t regard any success with her as any sign of a real relationship though - Her head could still turn very quickly. To that end, your choice of pheros is excellent A314 and the A314/IH combo will help your status and bonding no-end, whilst Ammo is good for fanning any spark between you - you will need to adopt moree attraction building behaviours alongside it. I’d also suggest [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) as a good mood lifter for both of you and I would even go as far as suggesting you look at the combo of MX297 and a small amount of TUTH. I have found this a superb mix for inspiring an “I’ve never seen you like this before!” feeling - only you do need to work this one hard in a fun/social direction, so only use it for going out and partying. Several recently active threads on how to use it effectively. Good luck! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Vangelis](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/vangelis/32/598_2.png) [@Vangelis](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Vangelis)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/3 "2011-09-30T18:03:40Z")
I you had time and patience I will tell you to use one at a time and see what they do for you before you start mixing. However, life experience tells me you want to find the right mix to make her open to you ASAP. Just keep this in mind: Pheromones will work with you but not for you. This are my two cents: Try A314 at work first. Start with one drop and initially applied to your neck. A314 is amazing stuff but you really want to know how it works for you and how it affects you. If you happen to run into her, just relax. If she’s been around you and if she’s trying to hold herself, she might act as usual. So, if you are cool, A314 will then have that effect you are seeking. Otherwise, if you suddenly turn into this Alpha man undercover as an other employee the effect might be adverse. if you are trying to make A314 help you with the age gap, change that in your mind and do it in your favor. Approach A314 as a enhancer of all you awesome qualities. My awesome qualities? some may wonder, yes! That’s the key, we all have them. 😃 [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/): Add this one if you want her to be open about her feelings. However, and maybe this is unrequested advice but: remember that women feel, live in their emotions and do not necessary “reason” them the same way we do. In other words, don’t expect her to come-up with some logical equation for you (it might make total logic for her, though). Example: We men seem to go: I like you, we have fun together equal let’s get the ball rolling. Them, I like you, but… I have fun with you maybe… we might get the ball rolling and… Blank spaces equal emotions. Result: Unknown, unless the right emotions are there. So, my piece of advice use IH in any mix and then be your fun self: relax and enjoy. Avoid by all means to turn into the Interrogator 😮. Just ease and delight in her presence, that will give her the chance to allow her emotions to come out and if you are right in your assessment, then you will be surprised by her words. But, once again, your role is to be cool, awesome, fun, confident and all that stuff “naturals” do 🙄. Use Instant Honesty not hoping her to EXPRESS her honest emotions: Why would she? Just use it, in the beginning, in the hopes she’s honest about her emotions to herself. Bottom line, AVOID the trap of challenging her on her emotions. The more you push her to open the less she can be willing to do so. So, let’s say that after work you go for a drink or something kind of late afternoon stuff. Through in there the IH added to the left overs of your A314. (A314 is an oil pheromone so it has a longer release period, once again if you had time you would learn what that means to you). To play safe apply A314 around lunch and then at five/six you add the IH. Then let’s hypothesize that you decide to get together later at night and go for some fun. There you change your mix for AMMO (first) and as the night evolves you add the IH. The reason for trying one first and then adding has to do, once again, with understanding the effect each one has on each one of you. Enjoy the game, and remember, the key of a Great Game is not the end result. The key is about how much fun you had, how much of you you engaged play by play; usually a good score follows. And, in the case the score is not favorable, you will always exit the field as a champ. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ochrismongrelo](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ochrismongrelo/32/318_2.png) [@ochrismongrelo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ochrismongrelo)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/4 "2011-09-30T21:43:16Z")
> [@nick.pul](#): > > So now here is why i ordered this, Iv have had this interest for months. She and I work together, the problem is she has been hurt alot before with friends who she ended up sleeping with but didnt get a meaningful relationship out of. But when we first started talking we went out on a date and have gone on a few since,although the problem is, she is so insecure about dating, she wont even aknowledge it. She has brought me into her bedroom before and gotten cold feet, brought me into her house late at night and said “just cause were in here doesnt mean we’re gonna hook up and have sex” after i was playing with her hair. She had admitted to feeling safe around me, extremely comfortable, and wanting to spend more time with me, hell, she even texted me once, called and left me a comment on Fb just to thank me for hanging with her. So there is an obvious attraction but when i make moves, she gets real distant. > I genuinely care for this one, thats why i put up with this lol. Iv approached her recently asking how she has felt since she has been so complicated and she says we’re just work friends! please.. you dont call your work friends at 4 in the morning.. and she justified a bunch of things she has done by saying she was only vunerable, even when i brought up her asking her friends what she thinks of me!! Careful, my friend. You’re really close to the border of friendzone with this chick. To me it sounds like she’s doing the same type of stuff that a girl on here was doing to my buddy ITNerd799, the whole incident is in his journal, and it’s a damn good read. Some girls just don’t seem to know what they want… you can push their buttons the right way but they have some ‘growing up issues’ emotionally and then they come off playing ‘backup guy’ with ya. That’s when it’s time to go alpha on her. Paying slightly less attention to her, and taking her off of that pedestal that you’ve got her on in your head would certainly help you. No person deserves to be put on a pedestal in life, other than perhaps an inspiring member of your family, or a Deity (If you’re religious). Start talking to some other chicks, and don’t be afraid to go out on dates with them. When she starts talking to you about her woes, shut her down with humor and friendly teasing, and talk a bit about yourself - - - wouldn’t hurt to casually lead the conversation into territory about the ‘hot chick’ that you hung out with the other day (Don’t rub it in, just casually mention it and leave her questioning.) and just make a VERY brief mention of the hot chick (And don’t lie… take some hot chick out on a date or hang out with her!) A314 is a powerhouse at work. [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/) is sexy and always gets me good results at social nights, and IH will help a LOT with sorting things out. Just remember, you have the power in this situation… the more she tries to use you, the more you pull away. You never know…hanging out with a different chick may wind up with you seeing someone better anyhow 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Blacky\_Chan](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/blacky_chan/32/973_2.png) [@Blacky\_Chan](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Blacky_Chan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/5 "2011-09-30T23:28:51Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > Read my edits very carefully. > > I think you are being taken for a sucker by a woman who won’t shit or get off of the pot. > > Yes she likes you and maybe there is a degree of attraction but she has effectively cast you deep into the worst form of friendzone/emotional leeching and does not want to see you walk out of her life. In fact she’s more or less told you this in the last one. > > **And yes, I hope I am truly wrong but IME, this kind of woman will keep you hanging-on the hope of a relationship as long as she possibly can, until someone who really pushes her buttons comes on the scene, then she will ditch you in the most, sudden, brutal, pitiless and heart-shredding way. Even then, she may come bouncing back to you in order get the emotional support the guy who does turn her on knows not to give her.** > > I don’t mean to sound unduly harsh but I’ve been here myself and I can assure you that things got a lot better for me when I started leaving this kind of woman and her winning/whining ways behind. > > Good luck! 🙂 Pay close attention to these words, been there done that. One day she’ll say she’s going out with a “friend”, she’ll probably tell you she’s not into this new guy, then before you know it they’ll be dating. She’ll keep you hanging on so she can complain about all the things he doesn’t do. You can keep her company when BF not around, lunches, movies, drinks, but at the end of the night he’s got the girl. Of course if you meet someone she’ll say “you’ve changed”, “you used to be nice”. and she’ll try to monopolize your time. ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/6 "2011-09-30T23:46:21Z")
Top advice there from Chris and Blacky Chan. ---
**Author:** ![mariocisneros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@mariocisneros](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mariocisneros)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/7 "2011-10-01T00:36:58Z")
Always great advice from Chris and Blacky Chan! ---
**Author:** ![nick.pul](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/nick.pul/32/814_2.png) [@nick.pul](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/nick.pul)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 3:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/8 "2011-10-01T03:31:30Z")
MOBOCASTER- yes i agree, i do think she at times sees me as someone who will be there no matter what to a point and thats why i have backed off recently. I really appreciate the totally honest feedback, good to hear VANGELIS- well i am actually gonna take a less intimidating approach now bc of that convo n will work on those initial attraction flirty stages to make it fun and make her forget any doubts in her mind, since there is that comfort level im gonna stress the attraction more. and hopefully these pheremones will add just an edge, to amplify whats there. CHRIS-I actually told her that if she really felt like that then she should not come lookin for me at work like she usually does, she actually stops her daily tasks and finds me on a daily basis. she said “oh so now we cant talk?” i said " we can but i dont really have any other friends at work looking for me like you do" This was me being a bit more alpha n letting her know that i am kind to an extent but i will not play games for long.She has kept away for the past few days, One of my co-workers saw her and said she looked miserable and when he mentioned my name she looked up very quickly. I actually have 2 girls in the past month give me their number, i didnt even ask, one a waitress at applebees and another was is my chiropractors assistant and i also got a girls number who lives in another state when she came to visit, as soon as i said goodbye to her she began to makeout with me infront of my 1 friend who was also there, very awkward lol(and none of this was aided by pheremones! cant wait till i get em). so i do see other people, there is just something that allures me to this one BLACKY- yea , women try to play innocent all the time! and they are not, way sneakier than men,Iv learned that the hard way before, thanks for the feedback. TO ALL- thanks for your support guys! great feedback, very honest and objective, im keeping this all in mind, im not expecting these pheremones to do magic just boost what is there, giving it that lil extra push, You know she had admitted to having wanted a relationship with me before and when i asked her why she nver told me she said she wasnt sure. Her closest friend told me she was very into me and always asked her what she thought of me. Her friend said that she is just afraid, afraid of getting hurt i suppose. One thing i failed to mention, she has been practicing being abstinent,she is very religious and didnt like where her past sex life led her, so im guessing this is why she is so over protective,now its just time for me to take control 😉 thank you all! any more feedback is welcome ---
**Author:** ![Misein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Misein](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Misein)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/9 "2011-10-01T16:17:25Z")
Mobocaster is spot on. You are just about in the same situation I was in some 15 years ago. I hung out with this woman almost daily, we had sex once in a while, always on her terms. I couldn’t make any kind of move in that direction but she expected me to drop my pants in a heartbeat when the urge came upon her. And of course I did so. She drained me emotionally before I finally got tired of it all. Think twice before you use mones to “help” put you in such a situation. ---
**Author:** ![mariocisneros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@mariocisneros](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mariocisneros)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 2:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/10 "2011-10-02T02:48:36Z")
> [@nick.pul](#): > > **she actually stops her daily tasks and finds me on a daily basis. she said “oh so now we cant talk?” i said " we can but i dont really have any other friends at work looking for me like you do" This was me being a bit more alpha n letting her know that i am kind to an extent but i will not play games for long.** Just wanted to point out something in this part Nick! When she asks you if you both can talk, I would rather suggest you make up something, such as “I can’t right now I’m busy” or “There’s some work (or whatever) I have to get done” etc because with what you told her you’re still making yourself available. Also when you said that you don’t really have any other friends looking for you at work like she does, do not let her know that. you’re letting her know that you don’t have that alpha power to show her that you’re really special for other people the same way you’re for her. Show her or make her wonder that she’s not the only one that has that time for you. Another thing, DO NOT call her friend… avoid that word, you’re unconsciously planting a seed on her brain that YOU ARE FRIENDS! avoid that word bro since your intentions are different, call her whatever other thing, also look for her calling you “friends”, if she does, act normal but DO NOT reply back as equal 🙂 Best of lucks brother! ---
**Author:** ![nick.pul](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/nick.pul/32/814_2.png) [@nick.pul](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/nick.pul)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 5:25am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/11 "2011-10-02T05:25:53Z")
> [@mariocisneros](#): > > Just wanted to point out something in this part Nick! When she asks you if you both can talk, I would rather suggest you make up something, such as “I can’t right now I’m busy” or “There’s some work (or whatever) I have to get done” etc because with what you told her you’re still making yourself available. > > Also when you said that you don’t really have any other friends looking for you at work like she does, do not let her know that. you’re letting her know that you don’t have that alpha power to show her that you’re really special for other people the same way you’re for her. Show her or make her wonder that she’s not the only one that has that time for you. > > Another thing, DO NOT call her friend… avoid that word, you’re unconsciously planting a seed on her brain that YOU ARE FRIENDS! avoid that word bro since your intentions are different, call her whatever other thing, also look for her calling you “friends”, if she does, act normal but DO NOT reply back as equal 🙂 > > Best of lucks brother! Im sorry i paraphrased that a bit, i told her" well marissa , the way we talk isnt really how i do with other friends, noone comes looking for me in my department to talk t me like you do, u dont call pete up at 4 am do u.. so u shudnt approach me like this if u consider me just a work friend" - that way she understands i have noticed her interest n will not put up with the BS but i didnt wana shut her out of my life so i said i wudnt ignore her. i also asked her if she did most of these things w other people she said no i dont actually, also when i said friends i said it in a manner that was mocking haha.She only calls me a friend when she notices others see her interest in me, even myself. When she was in atlantic city her friends went out to a club she stayed in and called me at 5 in the morning when they came in they asked who she was speaking to and she said,"uhh just a friend!“they said who?!!” she said “hey nick i gotta go” lol… but you are very right when you say not to let her know that i have her up on that pedistal,that always makes us guys loose that control. i havent spoken to her in a few days and shes stayed away like i had asked.im going to see her at a baby shower tomorrow. im not sure if i will break the silence yet. i feel like i should but also dont wana come off like a sucker . and my mones arrive on monday! ugh thatl give me a lil more of a boost hopefully, if not then atleast i tried. i need to remember, noone likes to be told how they feel. even if the assumptions are right, itl make that person put up that guard even higher if they arent ready to say it themselves. thanks for the support man! this forum is much more than a pheremones forum ---
**Author:** ![mariocisneros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@mariocisneros](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mariocisneros)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/12 "2011-10-05T18:02:16Z")
> [@nick.pul](#): > > Im sorry i paraphrased that a bit, i told her" well marissa , the way we talk isnt really how i do with other friends, noone comes looking for me in my department to talk t me like you do, u dont call pete up at 4 am do u.. so u shudnt approach me like this if u consider me just a work friend" - that way she understands i have noticed her interest n will not put up with the BS but i didnt wana shut her out of my life so i said i wudnt ignore her. i also asked her if she did most of these things w other people she said no i dont actually, > also when i said friends i said it in a manner that was mocking haha.She only calls me a friend when she notices others see her interest in me, even myself. When she was in atlantic city her friends went out to a club she stayed in and called me at 5 in the morning when they came in they asked who she was speaking to and she said,"uhh just a friend!“they said who?!!” she said “hey nick i gotta go” lol… but you are very right when you say not to let her know that i have her up on that pedistal,that always makes us guys loose that control. i havent spoken to her in a few days and shes stayed away like i had asked.im going to see her at a baby shower tomorrow. im not sure if i will break the silence yet. i feel like i should but also dont wana come off like a sucker . and my mones arrive on monday! ugh thatl give me a lil more of a boost hopefully, if not then atleast i tried. i need to remember, noone likes to be told how they feel. even if the assumptions are right, itl make that person put up that guard even higher if they arent ready to say it themselves. thanks for the support man! this forum is much more than a pheremones forum Your more than welcome man! And I’m glad you’re willing to back off a little bit, her perception of you is more likely to change on a positive way for you 😉 So tell me man, how are things going for u? any updates? have u started using your mones? what mixes have u used so far? Let us know how things are going for u bro! Greetings! ---
**Author:** ![ochrismongrelo](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ochrismongrelo/32/318_2.png) [@ochrismongrelo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ochrismongrelo)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-heres-my-situation-and-possible-solution/52610/13 "2011-10-05T21:18:52Z")
Nick! What’s been going on man? Any developments?