# So what would be best to attract her again ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [March 6, 2015, 10:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963 "2015-03-06T10:44:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2015, 10:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/201 "2015-04-12T22:27:31Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > And in the meantime, you should be concentrating on getting your emotional strength together so you are not bothered by her lack of contact - That way you will come-over as far more attractive/stronger when you are eventually in touch. So does this translate to an attitude of “I don’t care what you do, I am fun and awesome, I will not make a pass at you, if you want to you will have to do it yourself” ? Or is this the wrong way ? I mean men are supposed to be hunters right ? Not waiting for a prey to come into our plate in a way… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2015, 11:20pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/202 "2015-04-12T23:20:05Z")
No - It means you will do what’s right at the right time. And when hunting, there is also a time to hold back untill you are in the best position for a clean kill! For now, she needs to regain trust in you and particularly that you won’t overwhelm her in any relationship. Even with the mix working on a subconscious level, that’s going to take some time and you can’t tell it to her directly - However, keeping contact to a minimum and letting her get-on with her life will communicate something important. She’s still comfortable with you being around her, she’s still showing signs of interest and attraction, so its very likely she’s missing you too - and that, combined with your lack of attention and the beginnings of a new impression from the mix will be having a more positive effect on her emotions. FTM you are just keeping your interaction ticking-over until you can see her again and restart the exposure/removal/re-exposure cycle and make those interactions count on all physical/emotional levels and that is always done better in person. ---
**Author:** ![Dream\_Brother](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dream_brother/32/1559_2.png) [@Dream\_Brother](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Dream_Brother)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 12:14am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/203 "2015-04-13T00:14:09Z")
It also offers an insight into your male characteristics; if you’re alpha or beta. Chasing someone so incessantly will show desperation, lack of other options, and in turn will turn off desire on her part. If you’re the chasee (new word 😛) then to her you’re one to be desired, one with options, and the guy with things going on. Of course, an alpha male gets what he wants, but that doesn’t entail chasing it by jeopardising his own masculinity and dignity (I’m not saying you are by the way!). ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 11:55am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/204 "2015-04-13T11:55:43Z")
So in a way you think that making contact would be considered as chasing her ? Mobo I know she felt overwhelmed when I broke up and told her and started trying to pick up where things left off. Luckily for me I didn’t continue to pressure her when she told me she doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore. I stopped contact and let her cool off. I am just thinking that all this could come off as “playing games”. I have to intention of smothering her or chasing after her, but what about casual and friendly contact (this is how we got close together in the first place anyway) Don’t you think that communicating my interest or even outright telling her I am still interested **but without chasing or asking for an answer** could be viewed as desirable ? Meaning that I am man enough to tell what I want, but also confident enough to not be phased but her answer (by not asking for one at this point) ---
**Author:** ![Dream\_Brother](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dream_brother/32/1559_2.png) [@Dream\_Brother](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Dream_Brother)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 12:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/205 "2015-04-13T12:18:36Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > So in a way you think that making contact would be considered as chasing her ? > > Mobo I know she felt overwhelmed when I broke up and told her and started trying to pick up where things left off. Luckily for me I didn’t continue to pressure her when she told me she doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore. I stopped contact and let her cool off. > > I am just thinking that all this could come off as “playing games”. I have to intention of smothering her or chasing after her, but what about casual and friendly contact (this is how we got close together in the first place anyway) Don’t you think that communicating my interest or even outright telling her I am still interested **but without chasing or asking for an answer** could be viewed as desirable ? Meaning that I am man enough to tell what I want, but also confident enough to not be phased but her answer (by not asking for one at this point) That’s what I did. I was sick of second guessing, wondering if she did or didn’t see me in _that_ way. So, after a long time of waiting, I just told her straight how I felt. Nothing happened after that, we remained friends though. I think me biting the bullet saved me a lot of stress, and now that I know the definite answer I can set my sites on other things/people. ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 12:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/206 "2015-04-13T12:28:16Z")
> [@Dream\_Brother](#): > > That’s what I did. I was sick of second guessing, wondering if she did or didn’t see me in _that_ way. So, after a long time of waiting, I just told her straight how I felt. Nothing happened after that, we remained friends though. I think me biting the bullet saved me a lot of stress, and now that I know the definite answer I can set my sites on other things/people. I think I am in a situation when I cannot even second guess. Being in a different country and everything. Probably the best course of action right now is wait till we are in the same place, then I can really see what is going on and if there is any chance of getting together… I know she want’s to hang out here, she was telling me that when we last met… So I am basically trying not to sabotage myself. Our last interactions where encouraging and if we were still close together maybe I could pursue things more, but I think over a distance it would be harmful right now… The worst thing is that I am not even interested in other girls, this may-be is screwing with my life… but everything happens for a reason… ---
**Author:** ![Dream\_Brother](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dream_brother/32/1559_2.png) [@Dream\_Brother](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Dream_Brother)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 12:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/207 "2015-04-13T12:47:56Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > I think I am in a situation when I cannot even second guess. Being in a different country and everything. Probably the best course of action right now is wait till we are in the same place, then I can really see what is going on and if there is any chance of getting together… I know she want’s to hang out here, she was telling me that when we last met… So I am basically trying not to sabotage myself. Our last interactions where encouraging and if we were still close together maybe I could pursue things more, but I think over a distance it would be harmful right now… > > The worst thing is that I am not even interested in other girls, this may-be is screwing with my life… but everything happens for a reason… If she openly said she wants to hang out when you get back, I’d definitely stick to what you’re currently doing. Infrequent chit-chat, going a few days, or weeks, without contact, and not forcing it when it does come about should be okay. Always leave her wanting to know more, going back to the ‘missing details’ I mentioned a while back. When the time comes to meet in person again, these missing details will make her excited to see you, then you can take things from there. Don’t be afraid to be friends with her. You can use that as your base to restart a possible relationship in the future. The fact that you’re busy in a different location should be a desirable factor to her, as, generally, people want what they can’t have. Just try and be patient, she won’t forget about you in this short time, and if you do things right, time can be the best thing in this situation. ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 2:04pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/208 "2015-04-13T14:04:46Z")
> [@Dream\_Brother](#): > > If she openly said she wants to hang out when you get back, I’d definitely stick to what you’re currently doing. Infrequent chit-chat, going a few days, or weeks, without contact, and not forcing it when it does come about should be okay. Always leave her wanting to know more, going back to the ‘missing details’ I mentioned a while back. When the time comes to meet in person again, these missing details will make her excited to see you, then you can take things from there. Don’t be afraid to be friends with her. You can use that as your base to restart a possible relationship in the future. > > The fact that you’re busy in a different location should be a desirable factor to her, as, generally, people want what they can’t have. Just try and be patient, she won’t forget about you in this short time, and if you do things right, time can be the best thing in this situation. Yeah being friends is not going to be a problem. The problem will be if it doesn’t go anywhere more than that… But just wait and see. This period of no action makes me over-think everything and I really should not. Everything was positive more or less, the only bad sign was that she went on a couple of dates with this guy… But still, even if she dates I don’t think it’s game over. She will be here for 6 months anyway so those dates might not turn out to be anything serious. And if they do, well, her loss in the long run, I need to start treating myself again as the guy that has so much to give to the woman that is ready to be with me (and I don’t mean in a stepping-mat/gift-giving kind of way, but fun and awesome times together) ---
**Author:** ![Dream\_Brother](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dream_brother/32/1559_2.png) [@Dream\_Brother](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Dream_Brother)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 2:39pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/209 "2015-04-13T14:39:54Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > Yeah being friends is not going to be a problem. The problem will be if it doesn’t go anywhere more than that… But just wait and see. This period of no action makes me over-think everything and I really should not. Everything was positive more or less, the only bad sign was that she went on a couple of dates with this guy… But still, even if she dates I don’t think it’s game over. She will be here for 6 months anyway so those dates might not turn out to be anything serious. And if they do, well, her loss in the long run, I need to start treating myself again as the guy that has so much to give to the woman that is ready to be with me (and I don’t mean in a stepping-mat/gift-giving kind of way, but fun and awesome times together) I know how you feel, the anticipation and not knowing is a killer. Just know that no matter what happens, and how helpless you may feel if it doesn’t go how you want, you _will_ get over her and see her in a different light. But, let’s not rule it out anyway, there’s still a lot of things that show potential in this. Try and not devote yourself to this, in the broad view of things, this is just one situation in the endless list of things that will go either good or bad in your life; She’s just one girls out of billions in the world; and you’re one guy with an unlimited potential of paths in his life - this is just one, and who knows if its the best path. Try and persevere, carry on with everything else in your life, and whenever you do contact her, don’t overthink it. I’m sure once you do meet in person you will make a lot of progress! ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 2:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/210 "2015-04-13T14:44:38Z")
> [@Dream\_Brother](#): > > I know how you feel, the anticipation and not knowing is a killer. Just know that no matter what happens, and how helpless you may feel if it doesn’t go how you want, you _will_ get over her and see her in a different light. But, let’s not rule it out anyway, there’s still a lot of things that show potential in this. Try and not devote yourself to this, in the broad view of things, this is just one situation in the endless list of things that will go either good or bad in your life; She’s just one girls out of billions in the world; and you’re one guy with an unlimited potential of paths in his life - this is just one, and who knows if its the best path. > > Try and persevere, carry on with everything else in your life, and whenever you do contact her, don’t overthink it. I’m sure once you do meet in person you will make a lot of progress! Thanks mate! On the one hand I just get mad sometimes and my ego get’s the best of me and I think “f\*\*\* that, you deserve more”. On the other hand I think that this situation is what it is because the timing was not right and we can have an amazing time together (as we did have for about 2 months while she was investing herself a lot making plans for the future) if we can start over… ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 5:40pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/211 "2015-04-13T17:40:46Z")
> [@Dream\_Brother](#): > > If she openly said she wants to hang out when you get back, I’d definitely stick to what you’re currently doing. Infrequent chit-chat, going a few days, or weeks, without contact, and not forcing it when it does come about should be okay. Always leave her wanting to know more, going back to the ‘missing details’ I mentioned a while back. When the time comes to meet in person again, these missing details will make her excited to see you, then you can take things from there. Don’t be afraid to be friends with her. You can use that as your base to restart a possible relationship in the future. > > The fact that you’re busy in a different location should be a desirable factor to her, as, generally, people want what they can’t have. Just try and be patient, she won’t forget about you in this short time, and if you do things right, time can be the best thing in this situation. This - in buckets! ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 5:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/212 "2015-04-13T17:46:21Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > Yeah being friends is not going to be a problem. The problem will be if it doesn’t go anywhere more than that… And the best way to ensure it does go nowhere is usually to be too good a friend to her. By all means be sociable enough and likeable but don’t give enough of yourself to be friendzoned fully. That’s where limiting contact and the phero sig will support you most. And today I saw my older Polish fallout. Its been I quite a few weeks since I had any contact at all but she just about bowled me-off my feet. Which was a bit embarassing as I had a couple of photographers in tow. Revamping her section’s part of the website! 😃 It was A314/IH/[P74](https://a314.com/product/p74/) today, with a little TUTH and some p86 - She wa particularly volubile about how good I’m looking. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 5:55pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/213 "2015-04-13T17:55:35Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > And the best way to ensure it does go nowhere is usually to be too good a friend to her. > > By all means be sociable enough and likeable but don’t give enough of yourself to be friendzoned fully. That’s where limiting contact and the phero sig will support you most. This could be a bit confusing. So once she is here, if I have a chance to hang out with her shouldn’t I take it each time ? **But** not just being around her just to _hang out_, but making each interaction going up in tension and steering it sexually/romantically, both with the pheros and my attitude. I mean this is what brought us close together the first time, having a great time together and discovering how much we enjoy each other’s company. ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 6:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/214 "2015-04-13T18:11:00Z")
Yes it can be confusing because it depends to an extent on how she responds to you - esp when its a more sexually charged occasion. You should certainly see her **some of the time** , yes but not every chance you get and most certainly not every time she asks you. Again, being too available is not good in the long-run. You need to leave at least several days between exposures to let the effects develop and depending on how things go each time, you micht want to leave a little less if she’s responded positiely but leave it for longer if she’s not responded so well. She’ll get the message pretty soon, and all as a result of your actions - which hit far harder as far as attraction is concerned. ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 6:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/215 "2015-04-13T18:26:14Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > Yes it can be confusing because it depends to an extent on how she responds to you - esp when its a more sexually charged occasion. You should certainly see her **some of the time** , yes but not every chance you get and most certainly not every time she asks you. Again, being too available is not good in the long-run. > > You need to leave at least several days between exposures to let the effects develop and depending on how things go each time, you micht want to leave a little less if she’s responded positiely but leave it for longer if she’s not responded so well. She’ll get the message pretty soon, and all as a result of your actions - which hit far harder as far as attraction is concerned. So IF something develops again between us, how do you think about me “rejecting” her if she makes a move ? For example if things escalate physically, Maybe me saying “no” would make things more interesting. And in a way make myself out of reach with saying something like “I am not the right guy for you” or something to this effect. I am sure this kind of rejection can built the tension sky-high if done properly. I know it’s risky though… But when overloaded with TUTH it would make an interesting little play don’t you think ? ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 6:50pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/216 "2015-04-13T18:50:36Z")
No - If things escalate physically, then you take it as it comes on a one-time, no strings basis. Then back to square one - but be a bit more amenable to her interest in you the next time. That way, she will be encouraged to invest more in you emotionally and to compete for your attention - she will also miss you more intently and the pheros will have even more of an influence. Actively pushing her right away can work with some women but its a dangerous game, liable to go either way - I also think you already had a hint of what might happen with her when you ended your last relationship but held-off having sex with her when in her eyes, she had already invested strongly in you and you no longer had any comittment to anyone else - WHY? I get the impression that was when she first seriously doubted you and was maybe the turning point that led to her complete loss of trust in you as a potential partner. ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2015, 8:56pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/217 "2015-04-13T20:56:39Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > Actively pushing her right away can work with some women but its a dangerous game, liable to go either way - I also think you already had a hint of what might happen with her when you ended your last relationship but held-off having sex with her when in her eyes, she had already invested strongly in you and you no longer had any comittment to anyone else - WHY? > > I get the impression that was when she first seriously doubted you and was maybe the turning point that led to her complete loss of trust in you as a potential partner. Oh no you got that wrong… First of all we had sex during the 2 months we were “together”. And when I broke up, it was her who did not want to have sex, not me… When I told her of course she was a bit blind sighted as she was not expecting I would go ahead and break up. And on the first night I knew her roommates were telling her to make sure I was telling the truth, they texted her that and she told me. So we did not have sex, only second base stuff and just a finger orgasm for her at one time before we started falling apart (mother nature became a major cock-block unfortunately those days…) ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2015, 12:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/218 "2015-04-14T12:02:16Z")
Today was nice. I sent a message and we chit chatted a bit back and forth. Just mainly new place stuff… asking me if I had a new room, etc… But why on God’s green earth would the first thing to tell me be, that she had a bladder infection ??? ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 10:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/219 "2015-04-15T10:06:05Z")
So after yesterday’s little chat I kept silent. And in the evening she texted me. About a series we were watching together and we chatted about it (romantic happy ending etc…) One thing I’ve noticed (first during our last dinner) and now on the texts was that she seems to be trying to look as she is looking down on relationships, saying things like when people are in a relationship they get boring, or saying things like happy endings are not real life etc… This is exactly the opposite of what she was like when she was waiting for us to be together, she was romantic and really invested. So this makes me think that this could be kind of a test or she is over-compensating for not going into a relationship with me after all (second thoughts maybe?). What do you think ? ---
**Author:** ![Dream\_Brother](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dream_brother/32/1559_2.png) [@Dream\_Brother](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Dream_Brother)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 11:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/220 "2015-04-15T11:48:11Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > So after yesterday’s little chat I kept silent. And in the evening she texted me. About a series we were watching together and we chatted about it (romantic happy ending etc…) > > One thing I’ve noticed (first during our last dinner) and now on the texts was that she seems to be trying to look as she is looking down on relationships, saying things like when people are in a relationship they get boring, or saying things like happy endings are not real life etc… > > This is exactly the opposite of what she was like when she was waiting for us to be together, she was romantic and really invested. So this makes me think that this could be kind of a test or she is over-compensating for not going into a relationship with me after all (second thoughts maybe?). What do you think ? Hmm, that’s interesting. Could be possible that she’s saying something negative about relationships, to provoke a response out of you. Maybe to make you correct her, especially since she’s specifically talking about a memory with _you_. You know like, once a girl-friend joked and said ‘WE should go for a valentines day meal!’, then nervously laughed and retracted by saying ‘..I don’t need a relationship anyway, I’m fine being on my own 😃’ - or something to that effect. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963.md?page=10) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963.md?page=12)