# So what would be best to attract her again ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [March 6, 2015, 10:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963 "2015-03-06T10:44:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 11:51am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/221 "2015-04-15T11:51:27Z")
> [@Dream\_Brother](#): > > Hmm, that’s interesting. Could be possible that she’s saying something negative about relationships, to provoke a response out of you. Maybe to make you correct her, especially since she’s specifically talking about a memory with _you_. You know like, once a girl-friend joked and said ‘WE should go for a valentines day meal!’, then nervously laughed and retracted by saying ‘..I don’t need a relationship anyway, I’m fine being on my own 😃’ - or something to that effect. Well it may be our male brains overthinking but it could be something like that. Expecting a response to see my view on relationships… But I am not going to give any answer that easy… On the other hand sharing the personal details (see infection…) seems a bit strange. Or could be that she is feeling comfortable. At first I thought about commenting about having sex should be done more carefully 😛, but this might not even be the case and anyways it would make me seem jealous so I kept it to myself 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dream\_Brother](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dream_brother/32/1559_2.png) [@Dream\_Brother](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Dream_Brother)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 11:57am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/222 "2015-04-15T11:57:24Z")
If you maintain a level of comfort with her that goes unmatched by any other guy, she should start to see you in a different light. If you had had no history with her, you would be at risk of becoming just a best-friend, but as you do, it may put you in a different category. ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 12:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/223 "2015-04-15T12:03:03Z")
> [@Dream\_Brother](#): > > If you maintain a level of comfort with her that goes unmatched by any other guy, she should start to see you in a different light. If you had had no history with her, you would be at risk of becoming just a best-friend, but as you do, it may put you in a different category. Yeah I think comfort is paramount right now. And I will not try to make any moves once I see her… Built deeper comfort first, this will get sexual on its own I am sure… ---
**Author:** ![alvin101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/91b2a8/32.png) [@alvin101](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/alvin101)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 1:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/224 "2015-04-15T13:02:33Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > Oh no you got that wrong… First of all we had sex during the 2 months we were “together”. And when I broke up, it was her who did not want to have sex, not me… When I told her of course she was a bit blind sighted as she was not expecting I would go ahead and break up. And on the first night I knew her roommates were telling her to make sure I was telling the truth, they texted her that and she told me. So we did not have sex, only second base stuff and just a finger orgasm for her at one time before we started falling apart (mother nature became a major cock-block unfortunately those days…) So you were having sex with her up to the point that you told her you broke up with your girlfriend? Comments like happy ending are not real life means she is still hurting about something. Either she’s hurting about what happened between you and her or she’s hurting about something else. ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 1:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/225 "2015-04-15T13:08:01Z")
> [@alvin101](#): > > So you were having sex with her up to the point that you told her you broke up with your girlfriend? Comments like happy ending are not real life means she is still hurting about something. Either she’s hurting about what happened between you and her or she’s hurting about something else. No… Having sex up to the point where I told her I did not break up yet. Then sex stopped of course… ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 5:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/226 "2015-04-15T17:42:15Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > Yeah I think comfort is paramount right now. And I will not try to make any moves once I see her… Built deeper comfort first, this will get sexual on its own I am sure… Comfort as in trust and emotional connection - but you will need to keep-up some sexual tension as well - Not a full-on octopus/player/caveman mode but just enough to remind her that you will not be backing down to being just a friend. So far you have been doing just great there, so continue in that vein. At work, yes keep it fairly professional but socially - that’s the time to communicate sexual intent more directly - but aswell as with pheros, do it nonverbally, eye contact, kino, body language etc. And if she starts getting obviously sexual - then you go ahead and escalate right back but be ready to stop dead if it looks like she’s doing it as a shit test. Don’t let her leave you with your tounge (or anything else) hanging-out, pleading! ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 5:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/227 "2015-04-15T17:47:10Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > But why on God’s green earth would the first thing to tell me be, that she had a bladder infection ??? Interesting! 🙂 And with IH in the mix, you can expect to learn all sorts of things from people. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 5:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/228 "2015-04-15T17:58:37Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > So after yesterday’s little chat I kept silent. And in the evening she texted me. > > One thing I’ve noticed (first during our last dinner) and now on the texts was that she seems to be trying to look as she is looking down on relationships, saying things like when people are in a relationship they get boring, or saying things like happy endings are not real life etc… > > This is exactly the opposite of what she was like when she was waiting for us to be together, she was romantic and really invested. So this makes me think that this could be kind of a test or she is over-compensating for not going into a relationship with me after all (second thoughts maybe?). What do you think ? Curioser and curioser - in a potentially good way! You really need to be leaving it a good bit longer between bouts of contact - Just waiting til the next evening isn’t long enough. Sometimes yes but it would help her miss you better if you waited a couple of days - you really need to make her work for your attention! **Avoid relationship talk altogether!** Do not let her drag you into it in any way shape or form FTM. Yes, she could be trying to provoke you or have you reply in a way that validates/justifies her decision. **So it is of paramount importance you do not giver her that!** However, it could be a case of “she protests too much” and taken alongside the two other potential indicators of fallout setting-in, it could be a third - and she may be struggling with the feelings of connection kindled by your mix and her decision to not be with you - so she’s setting the scene for a “lets take it easy for a while” situation - which IME can usually end in her finding reasons/justification or just simply breaking down and begging to re-connect properly when the fallout builds fully. Polish fallout reminded me of her continued interest quite nicely today, despite her being on the back burner/minimal contact for a while. Gently rubbing my back with both breasts whilst I stood behind the photographers who were doing some posed stuff with her lab assistant. ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 6:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/229 "2015-04-15T18:03:21Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > No… Having sex up to the point where I told her I did not break up yet. Then sex stopped of course… And that’s the point the trust wavered. ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/230 "2015-04-15T19:11:51Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > **Avoid relationship talk altogether!** Do not let her drag you into it in any way shape or form FTM. Yes, she could be trying to provoke you or have you reply in a way that validates/justifies her decision. **So it is of paramount importance you do not giver her that!** So replying in a way that does not validate her decision would be good ? For example saying that a relationship can be amazing with the right person or something to this effect. Or just not participate in this kind of conversation at all ? Remember we are not talking about our relationship here of course, just relationships in general… > [@](#): > > However, it could be a case of “she protests too much” and taken alongside the two other potential indicators of fallout setting-in, it could be a third - and she may be struggling with the feelings of connection kindled by your mix and her decision to not be with you - so she’s setting the scene for a “lets take it easy for a while” situation - which IME can usually end in her finding reasons/justification or just simply breaking down and begging to re-connect properly when the fallout builds fully. So during this take-it-easy period all I have to do is keep acting the way I am now. Don’t give any reasons for not being with me (jealousy or trust issues) and in the end the situation might turn out to my benefit ? ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 7:17pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/231 "2015-04-15T19:17:06Z")
I would tend to assume that by default, **all** relationship discussion will be assumed to apply to you, no matter how you frame it - So don’t be caught-out by talking “generally” Yup - don’t give any reasons or justify/explain anything. You need her to start using her imagination about you. ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 7:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/232 "2015-04-15T19:21:14Z")
She also made a whatsapp group today and added me to it. Supposedly work-related… Which could have been done a long time ago… ---
**Author:** ![Dream\_Brother](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/dream_brother/32/1559_2.png) [@Dream\_Brother](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Dream_Brother)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 7:39pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/233 "2015-04-15T19:39:43Z")
I’d just shrug off all the relationship talk, but take a mental note of what was said and what it could mean. Trying to respond in a safe way (for example, saying relationships do work for some people etc.) is too risky, and things seem to be going well so far! ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 7:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/234 "2015-04-15T19:59:21Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > She also made a whatsapp group today and added me to it. Supposedly work-related… Which could have been done a long time ago… Good - and you will remember to be highly inactive on it! 😉 Can you see how its often a lot of little unconnected things that begin to mount-up when it comes to fallout setting-in. That’s five potential signs now - You can begin to be more confident about it working. But it still has quite some way to go yet. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 8:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/235 "2015-04-15T20:13:07Z")
Yeah I hope it all goes well… We will see… I sent a message to the group because it was in everyone interest, and she made fun of me. Not in a bad way, playfully. Did not answer and don’t think I will anymore. If she wants something she can ask for it personally 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 10:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/236 "2015-04-15T22:07:32Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > Good - and you will remember to be highly inactive on it! 😉 > > Can you see how its often a lot of little unconnected things that begin to mount-up when it comes to fallout setting-in. That’s five potential signs now - You can begin to be more confident about it working. But it still has quite some way to go yet. 🙂 So Mobo what do you consider to be the 5 signs of fallout so far ? ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 9:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/237 "2015-04-20T09:20:36Z")
So I was wondering, soon we will spend some days in the same place, even travel together… She seems interested in hanging out with me, will have to see if she sees me romantically or not. What should I do if a conversation about our “friendship” comes up ? Or if she makes a comment about us being friends, etc… ? ---
**Author:** ![alvin101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/91b2a8/32.png) [@alvin101](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/alvin101)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 5:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/238 "2015-04-20T17:26:35Z")
> [@replay25](#): > > So I was wondering, soon we will spend some days in the same place, even travel together… She seems interested in hanging out with me, will have to see if she sees me romantically or not. > > What should I do if a conversation about our “friendship” comes up ? Or if she makes a comment about us being friends, etc… ? I think your in a great position to get her back. Just don’t overthink things. Don’t pay her any mind if she talks about friendship. Just keep doing what your doing because it seems to be working ---
**Author:** ![replay25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@replay25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/replay25)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 7:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/239 "2015-04-22T19:16:38Z")
> [@mobocaster](#): > > Good - and you will remember to be highly inactive on it! 😉 > > Can you see how its often a lot of little unconnected things that begin to mount-up when it comes to fallout setting-in. That’s five potential signs now - You can begin to be more confident about it working. But it still has quite some way to go yet. 🙂 PM troubles ? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 7:39pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/so-what-would-be-best-to-attract-her-again/63963/240 "2015-04-22T19:39:44Z")
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