# Somechick's Journal **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Journals\ **Created:** [October 5, 2011, 8:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679 "2011-10-05T20:28:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![somechick03862](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@somechick03862](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/somechick03862)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/281 "2014-12-19T16:30:05Z")
and someone has my debit card number again…I have a bunch of charges for ToysRUs that I didn’t make… ---
**Author:** ![shyone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@shyone](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/shyone)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2014, 7:11am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/282 "2014-12-20T07:11:26Z")
Im sorry doll I hate those times when everything goes wrong. . Hope it starts getting better right away ! ---
**Author:** ![Nick\_W](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/nick_w/32/2200_2.png) [@Nick\_W](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Nick_W)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/283 "2014-12-25T19:48:27Z")
Sounds like its been thing after thing this month :c As far as the weed thing goes, personally as a west coaster who’s dad smoked growing up. (Away from us mind you.) My father is still an upstanding businessman and local leader working in Global Health. I wouldn’t be too concerned, but it’s definitely up to the individual. A lot of people end up on a weed crutch to help negate other things. (In my case PTSD induced paranoia.) So I am sure he has his reasons, and has had to question it in his past, and come to the decision to continue. Is it as harmless as people try to make it out? Nah. Is it better than cigarettes and alcohol? I’d certainly say so. That being said, keeping you head up all the time can really easily grow to be too much. Maybe spend sometime in an emotional, motionless heap on the kitchen floor finding your strength. Can’t just keep bottling it up. Let that emotional pressure out and see if you can think afterwards. Try not to feed it, just let it burn. Also, Merry Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![somechick03862](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@somechick03862](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/somechick03862)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 5:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/284 "2014-12-29T17:47:37Z")
I had decided to give up Rob for my New Year’s Resolution. I never make them, because I think they are dumb, but it seemed like a good idea when I thought of it. I had texted him for his birthday and he never responded, so I made the decision to not text him and wish him a Merry Christmas. I wanted to, but don’t want to beat a dead horse. If he wanted to see me/talk to me, he would. Right? So I was sad about not seeing him anymore. Had the blues very bad this year, really not feeling the Christmas spirit. That isn’t like me. I can tend toward feeling depressed, but I love Christmas. Thinking about letting him go was killing me! LOL…little dramatic, I know. There is just something about him. When I am with him, I live in the moment. I don’t worry or stress about anything. I don’t think about what I look like when we are having sex. I don’t worry that I am too old for him, or that he is too beautiful for me( that I worry about when we are NOT together). We just connect, like I never have with anyone else. Like I didn’t even realize I COULD! So I was all sad that I didn’t hear from him, and pouty. All but given up on hearing from him again this year, and he texted and asked how my Christmas was. We chatted for a few and that was it. I had hoped maybe he would use the info that I was alone this weekend to suggest getting together. He didn’t. I went to bed early Saturday night. And then he woke me up with a good morning text Sunday morning. Said he could be here in 45 minutes( was on his way back here from Boston)..so I jumped in the shower and he was here in exactly 45… We only had a little more than an hour, so we didn’t waste much time. I had sprayed 4 sprays ISB, 30 mcg [P74](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/p74/), 10 mcg P83 and 20 mcg TAC. I know that is a lot, but I wanted to see what I got from him. The sex was very hot, and this is probably way TMI, but I was on top of him, and he pulled me so I was basically smashed against his chest, and he was hugging me really close, really hard and kissing me very passionately. It isn’t totally unusual, but it was more intense than usual. Very very intense eye contact also. After there was some cuddle time, there always is, though I had to go to work, so we couldn’t stay in bed as long as we wanted to. He was going to play basketball, but he was still very reluctant to leave. We were talking about food, not sure which one of us brought it up. I said he would never let me feed him, he said I was wrong, so I bet him. I bet him $25 that he would never let me cook for him. We shook on it. I cannot lose. If I win the bet, I at least get $25, providing he honors it, and I know him to be an honorable person. If I lose the bet, I get to sit him down at my table and feed him. I will woo him with food. He admits that he loves food. I am an awesome cook. They never want to leave after I feed them. I told him last time that he’d never leave if I fed him. He asked what the drawbacks were to that. So on the way out, I gave him a plate of Christmas cookies. We had a little banter going on and I said something about him breaking me, and he replied that he has heard that so many times…grrrr! So I said something along the lines of OMG, I know I am just a frigging hookup and I don’t mean anything, but wow…and I totally can’t remember what he said!!! Something about I had to stop thinking of it like that. But he did start to say, if anything he is just my little…and I said no no no, it isn’t like that at all… I do NOT know how to figure out what the hell we are doing. We obviously are not communicating what we are to each other. Way back to the first night I went to his house, when I said it was just a sex thing, he said ‘yeah, whatever’ and he was annoyed. I don’t know how to figure this out without acting like a stooge and asking him! before he left, he was staring out the back window of my kitchen and said ‘goodbye beautiful backyard’…why do I fall for him so hard every time he opens his mouth? And why does he ‘get’ me more than anyone ever has? ARGH!!! ---
**Author:** ![mascara\_mones](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mascara_mones/32/1510_2.png) [@mascara\_mones](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mascara_mones)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/285 "2014-12-29T22:08:08Z")
Men 🙄 But seriously I’m really glad you got to see him and an awesome bonus 😛 ---
**Author:** ![somechick03862](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@somechick03862](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/somechick03862)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2015, 12:05am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/286 "2015-01-03T00:05:26Z")
Today is a [P130](https://a314.com/product/p130/) day. I am making myself miserable overthinking every.single.thing. about the Rob situation. I am crazy about him, have been for way longer than this has been going on, for so many reasons. But it’s just a sex thing, and everyone knows they never turn into more. No matter how much I wish it were different, it isn’t. He will never see me as more than a body part… So I am going to keep myself busy baking. Mastering my laminated dough, making croissants and chocolate croissants, and wearing some P130 to stop obsessing over the inevitable broken heart…Grrrrr! I should just write some Harlequins and be done with it! God, I love my P130! Anxiety buster extraordinaire! ---
**Author:** ![mascara\_mones](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mascara_mones/32/1510_2.png) [@mascara\_mones](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mascara_mones)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2015, 12:30am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/287 "2015-01-04T00:30:28Z")
I hate the over thinking part … i hope the [P130](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/p130/) worked its magic > [@somechick03862](#): > > Today is a P130 day. I am making myself miserable overthinking every.single.thing. about the Rob situation. I am crazy about him, have been for way longer than this has been going on, for so many reasons. But it’s just a sex thing, and everyone knows they never turn into more. No matter how much I wish it were different, it isn’t. He will never see me as more than a body part… > > So I am going to keep myself busy baking. Mastering my laminated dough, making croissants and chocolate croissants, and wearing some P130 to stop obsessing over the inevitable broken heart…Grrrrr! I should just write some Harlequins and be done with it! > > God, I love my P130! Anxiety buster extraordinaire! ---
**Author:** ![somechick03862](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@somechick03862](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/somechick03862)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2015, 9:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/288 "2015-01-11T21:23:54Z")
So last night I was wanting to see Rob but didn’t really know how best to make that happen, so I texted him and said ‘it’s awfully lonely over here, good thing I have this french toast and bacon’…because the two nights he spent with me, he asked me where the french toast was when he woke up and I told him he needed to show up at food time, not sex time. Last time he was here, I bet him that he would NOT let me cook for him, because I knew I wanted to lose the bet. I figured if I cooked for him, I could woo him with food and not just sex. He texted back quickly and said he wished he had some and I replied that he could let me make him some sometime. A couple of hours later, he texted and asked if there was any french toast here that he could eat. I said no, but I had everything to make it. He said he’d be here soon. He was in Boston! He drove up for french toast and me! LOL! I thought I was going to be alone, so I was testing the solo effects of an embargoed MX. Only one spray, to my forearms. And it was about 1.5 hours before he got here. While I was waiting I used 3 sprays ISB, 30 mcg [P74](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/p74/) and 10 mcg P83. When he got here, we talked for a few minutes, and then I made him french toast and bacon. We played a trivia game on my phone while I cooked and we were not more than five feet apart. He loved my french toast, even though I told him I couldn’t woo him with breakfast because I am much better at dinner. He got acquainted with my dogs ( yay! they like each other!) and we chatted while he ate. When we got to bed, it was obviously different. He was more tender, and loving and lots of foreplay. Not that there isn’t usually, but it was much more like making love than fucking. It was slower and hotter and when it was over, we were both speechless, other than him being all ‘wow! that was intense…wow’ and it was pretty freaking amazing. He spent the night and he was cuddlier than normal, and it just felt bonded, if that makes sense. I don’t ever want this to end…I am trying to think positive about this. I didn’t say one negative thing or one cynical thing when he was here. I feel like the outside world doesn’t exist when he is here with me. I feel like I can say anything that is on my mind, and he will respect it. I feel like I don’t have to be on my best behavior or hold anything back with him. He feels like HOME. We are more natural around each other than I have ever been with anyone. I told him again this morning that I am better with dinner than breakfast, and he said next time he will give me a few hours lead time so I can make him something more elaborate. He said he isn’t picky because he grew up poor and there wasn’t always much to eat ☹… We talked about so many things and he looked around at my house, and I swear he KNOWS he is making me fall for him! But every thing he said he liked about my house was something that I especially love, too. Like the antique light fixture in my room. The light has never even been on when he was in there, but he noticed it when he got up in the morning and said how much he loved it. There are other things, too, but damn! Why does he have to be the perfect guy for me? So, holy amazing sex, and holy amazing cuddling! It was two weeks since I saw him last, hopefully it won’t be any more than that before I see him again…have to keep feeding him! I sent him off this morning with coffee and homemade blueberry muffins 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![sue1anne](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sue1anne/32/1776_2.png) [@sue1anne](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sue1anne)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 2:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/289 "2015-01-12T02:43:21Z")
> [@somechick03862](#): > > So last night I was wanting to see Rob but didn’t really know how best to make that happen, so I texted him and said ‘it’s awfully lonely over here, good thing I have this french toast and bacon’…because the two nights he spent with me, he asked me where the french toast was when he woke up and I told him he needed to show up at food time, not sex time. Last time he was here, I bet him that he would NOT let me cook for him, because I knew I wanted to lose the bet. I figured if I cooked for him, I could woo him with food and not just sex. \ If he’s making you happy, then keep him coming back! Oh I hope for your sake he starts coming back for the cooking at first, but then just to be with you. I can see how much he means to you so I wish he will start coming around more and spend some quality time with you building a relationship. Sue1anne ---
**Author:** ![somechick03862](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@somechick03862](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/somechick03862)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 4:30am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/290 "2015-01-16T04:30:39Z")
> [@sue1anne](#): > > If he’s making you happy, then keep him coming back! Oh I hope for your sake he starts coming back for the cooking at first, but then just to be with you. I can see how much he means to you so I wish he will start coming around more and spend some quality time with you building a relationship. > > Sue1anne I’m just deluding myself. It’s not like we ever said we wanted anything more…I might have hoped but he never said I was going to mean anything to him. He probably has ten other girls just like me. I just wish I wasn’t so happy when I am with him, because that is going to make it really hard when he is gone. ---
**Author:** ![somechick03862](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@somechick03862](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/somechick03862)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2015, 3:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/291 "2015-01-19T15:27:54Z")
I have been testing some of the embargoed MXs recently. I am liking some of the stuff I have tried a lot. I still use [P130](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/p130/) for anxiety, because I am crazy overwhelmed by all the estate shit happening right now. We just had an offer on the property that I live on, that is about 300K less than we agreed that we wanted. That means a 100K less for me, which translates to me not being able to buy a house in town. I am not going to accept this. I already lost out on two houses, one of which was the perfect solution for me. I am beyond bummed. I am trying daily to count my blessings, because I truly do appreciate things, but this is all so hard for me. My family has lived in this house since 1910, my heritage will be gone. My whole history will be gone, my identity, to be a little dramatic. And this is all a lot to process on my own. Some days I wish so bad that I had someone in my life who would just frigging hug me and kiss my forehead. Someone stronger than me to lean on. That’s probably never going to happen. ( or at least an objective guy to read the Rob situation for me, but my best guy friend says I am all set, that he is already mine…no…) My stupid standards! I can’t pretend to have chemistry with someone. I can’t be with someone I have no chemistry with. I did that, I got divorced because of it. I don’t feel that with many people. I don’t know if that is weird, but I just don’t click with many people. And now everyone has to measure up to Rob… So, I am very glad I have some of the new MXs because they are keeping me from walking into traffic( not really…) ---
**Author:** ![mascara\_mones](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mascara_mones/32/1510_2.png) [@mascara\_mones](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mascara_mones)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2015, 9:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/292 "2015-01-19T21:09:08Z")
I don’t think it’s a stupid standard to want undeniable chemistry with your mate. And I think most women would wantto be held if they were dealing with a similar situation. I’m sending you an internet hug lol and hope everything starts going better! You’re due for a lucky streak. > [@somechick03862](#): > > I have been testing some of the embargoed MXs recently. I am liking some of the stuff I have tried a lot. > > I still use P130 for anxiety, because I am crazy overwhelmed by all the estate shit happening right now. We just had an offer on the property that I live on, that is about 300K less than we agreed that we wanted. That means a 100K less for me, which translates to me not being able to buy a house in town. I am not going to accept this. > > I already lost out on two houses, one of which was the perfect solution for me. I am beyond bummed. > > I am trying daily to count my blessings, because I truly do appreciate things, but this is all so hard for me. My family has lived in this house since 1910, my heritage will be gone. My whole history will be gone, my identity, to be a little dramatic. And this is all a lot to process on my own. Some days I wish so bad that I had someone in my life who would just frigging hug me and kiss my forehead. Someone stronger than me to lean on. That’s probably never going to happen. ( or at least an objective guy to read the Rob situation for me, but my best guy friend says I am all set, that he is already mine…no…) > > My stupid standards! I can’t pretend to have chemistry with someone. I can’t be with someone I have no chemistry with. I did that, I got divorced because of it. I don’t feel that with many people. I don’t know if that is weird, but I just don’t click with many people. And now everyone has to measure up to Rob… > > So, I am very glad I have some of the new MXs because they are keeping me from walking into traffic( not really…) ---
**Author:** ![somechick03862](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@somechick03862](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/somechick03862)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2015, 10:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/293 "2015-01-19T22:14:16Z")
> [@mascara\_mones](#): > > I don’t think it’s a stupid standard to want undeniable chemistry with your mate. And I think most women would wantto be held if they were dealing with a similar situation. I’m sending you an internet hug lol and hope everything starts going better! You’re due for a lucky streak. Thank you! I can use all the good wishes I can get right now. Interestingly enough, while I was out shopping, at the very second that I was saying Rob was going to break my heart, he texted me…LOL… ---
**Author:** ![somechick03862](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@somechick03862](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/somechick03862)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 12:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/294 "2015-01-21T12:30:26Z")
Well I didn’t get my lucky streak. I got my ass handed to me at work yesterday because someone complained that I was not friendly enough and don’t smile enough. This person happened to come in on the day that I learned that I lost out on the last house in town in my price range. I just had to spend over $400 on my vehicle and the anniversary of both of my parents deaths just came up. I am taking care of 2 kids, 2 dogs and a 200 year old house, by myself and I have no one to talk to. To say I am a little overwhelmed would be an understatement. And it doesn’t matter that many more people like me, that people bring me gifts at work, that there are a whole bunch of people who come in just to see me…all that matters is one guy who says I don’t smile enough for him/ This guy comes in and buys scratch tickets and bitches that he doesn’t win, that they shut his electricity off in the winter(because he owes 800 bucks) and that his gf is a fat, lazy bitch…yeah, he makes me want to smile. I am sorry but if I had an employee who was ALWAYS there, always reliable, worked with a concussion and now with a badly sprained ankle, I’d tell the guy to back off, you don’t know what she is dealing with. There is so much more going on, but no one here wants to listen, so why would I think anyone there does…and all bitching at me(boss left it to bitchy co-worker) does is make me feel more alone and more all fucking done with everything!!! Sorry for the vent ☹ ---
**Author:** ![mrseeker](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mrseeker/32/5177_2.png) [@mrseeker](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mrseeker)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 1:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/295 "2015-01-21T13:18:54Z")
Hey, Cheer up! I know people have a hard time, I also have to hear the sad stories of my friends who are getting depressed because they get “kicked out” due to re-organisations and also because the place they are working in is not generating enough income. My girlfriend even came back to me telling that she broke the bank 2 weeks ago, and was feeling so bad about it that she did not even want to tell me and started smoking instead (which made her feel even more bad). Paid her a bit from my savings so she can at least pay the bills and get food, but had to remind her that when there is something going on she should give me a call asap… I am happy I am going there in a couple of weeks, at least then I can calm her down and see what I can do for her. When I hear those stories, then I always feel lucky that I have something above my house, no unpaid bills, friends who are there for me in bad times, and a family who takes care of me. Trust me, when you are old, those last 2 things are all you have left. Be happy that you have a job, be happy that they haven’t kicked you out yet, be happy that you got 2 healthy kids at home. And how’s Rob? Is he still helping you out? Don’t think about the bad things in life, think about the happiness that is still waiting for you when you get home. Be happy that you have something to take care for, that you have someone who can hug you when you feel bad. Be happy for those little gifts in life that makes life better. Don’t let anger and aggression take over your life, they may seem really easy but they don’t help you at all. Fuck those nay-sayers, stick out your tongue and go your own way. Screw the world sometimes, let them know who’s boss around there! Are you a puppet or are you human? Cheer up, chin up, and enjoy life! ---
**Author:** ![mascara\_mones](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mascara_mones/32/1510_2.png) [@mascara\_mones](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mascara_mones)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 4:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/296 "2015-01-23T16:07:30Z")
☹ ugh men … (Sorry to all the nice guys out there who aren’t a hypocritical roller coaster) I agree if your boss should have brushed it off. Unfortunately employers rarely realize that certain employees are an asset. I don’t know if this help but I try to believe in fate when something falls through , maybe that house would have been one issue after another, it still really sucks but… ---
**Author:** ![somechick03862](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@somechick03862](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/somechick03862)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 6:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/297 "2015-01-27T18:36:16Z")
In the middle of a blizzard so I am using [P130](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/p130/) to keep myself going without melting down. I have had some pretty shitty luck today, but I am plugging away at plowing/shoveling. Got my plow stuck first thing, and there is about 2 feet of snow with more falling, so I can’t let it get too much farther ahead of me. Got it out, taking a break to thaw out and bake some blueberry muffins for my town plow crew. Will be going back out nto the storm in a half hour or so. I imagine Scott will show up to check on me. He did the other night during the last storm. He called and I told him I was all set, but he came to see if I was okay, anyway. I told him I couldn’t pay him, and he said, “Can’t people just be nice?”…I just feel bad not giving him something. If I weren’t sleeping with Rob…well, maybe the second time would be better. To be honest, Rob was the only first time sex I ever had that did NOT suck. Scott seems to think I can build a house on a piece of this land for the money I am going to get from the sale of the rest of it. He could probably build it, if I wanted him to. He explained how some builders work, and want to make x number of dollars but he is happy with 1/4 of x dollars. Maybe more later, it was an interesting weekend…(but boring) ---
**Author:** ![CelticPrince](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/celticprince/32/397_2.png) [@CelticPrince](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/CelticPrince)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 10:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/298 "2015-01-27T22:31:33Z")
:)Happy Birthday SomeChicky! ---
**Author:** ![somechick03862](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@somechick03862](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/somechick03862)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 10:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/299 "2015-01-27T22:42:14Z")
> [@CelticPrince](#): > > :)Happy Birthday SomeChicky! Thanks, CP! 🙂 how did you know? did I say and I am just too tired to remember? ---
**Author:** ![somechick03862](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@somechick03862](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/somechick03862)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 10:55pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679/300 "2015-01-27T22:55:10Z")
Last Saturday the kids were with my step-father instead of theirs(long story) because I had to work all day both weekend days. So, I texted Rob and told him I would be alone and I would have food, if he was interested. He texted back the next day and asked me how I was enjoying the snow, and then he said in a text a few minutes later, that he was stressed and that he would love to some and see me but he didn’t think he would be very good company. I asked if there was anything I could do, and he said ‘I wish’, so I told him that if he changed his mind that he knew where to find me and that I would just feed him and put him to bed if that was all he wanted. Then I began some serious baking therapy. I baked four loaves of English Muffin Bread, a cinnamon stuffed crumb cake, some chili and an Oreo cheesecake. While I was making the crumb cake, Scott called and asked if I was all set with my plow, since it had snowed. I told him I was, that I had done it once and would go out and do it again after I finished baking. Well, in a little while he was here, plowing for me. I went out to say hi, and ask him what the heck he was doing, since I had let him off the hook and he said he was getting ready to go home and thought he would make sure I was okay. I was wearing, from earlier, a couple of sprays of vanilla cops, because I freaking love the smell! and a spray of CTTM. We ended up chatting in the driveway for almost an hour. He really opened up to me about a lot of stuff. I was impressed. He is very devoted to his son and his ex is making things difficult with visitation, etc. I know he wanted to come in, because he had already told me earlier in the day that he wanted to get naked with me again. I told him that I couldn’t, but didn’t tell him about Rob…hmmm, why can I not seem to tell him about Rob? I think it’s because I really, really like Rob and I don’t want Scott to think that it is exactly what it is, a fuck buddy thing. I guess I don’t want him to think I am slutty, since I did sleep with him once. Anyway, he left without so much as a kiss…which is probably good, because he is am amazing kisser! I went to bed, missing Rob, and at 2:50 am, Rob texted me and asked me what I cooked. I told him what I made and he said that it sounded damn good and asked if there was any left. I said yes, and he said he was so hungry and that sounded so good. I told him he was welcome to come eat if he wanted, and he never responded. I know he was stressed, and I know he works nights, in a city an hour away, and he has a life, and is busy, etc. I do not expect him to answer every text. I texted yesterday and said I hoped things were better and that I hoped he’d be safe in the blizzard. Today has been hard, I got my Jeep stuck twice, once I pulled it out with my Tahoe, the second time I had to shovel if out of a snowbank taller than me because it was frame bound. Good times! I had just barely sat down, soaked, cold and tired, when Scott called to see if I was all set. I explained, told him I was okay for now, and he had to go. In fifteen minutes, he was here, and he totally OWNED my driveway! His truck is way bigger and his plow is way bigger and newer than mine so he pushed more snow in five minutes than I could in 20. I gave him blueberry muffins, we talked for a few minutes, and he said he would come back tonight and make sure I was okay. I am exhausted, I have been soaked to the ass from 8 am this morning until about ten minutes ago when I finally got a shower. I have shoveled, and shoveled, and shoveled and plowed twice and will go out and plow some more. I can’t expect Scott to do the whole driveway/yard for free, it’s like 3/4 of an acre! Anyway, in conclusion, I did [P130](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/p130/) myself again when I got out of the shower, because it has kept me from being too tweaked today. This is long, I know, and believe me, there are a lot of things I would rather be doing on my birthday! [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679.md?page=14) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/somechicks-journal/52679.md?page=16)