# St Patty jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [March 17, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/st-patty-jokes/2561 "2007-03-17T21:31:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/st-patty-jokes/2561/1 "2007-03-17T21:31:09Z")
\*\*An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. “So,” says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?" “Why, I’ve been to the pub of course,” slurs the drunk. “Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few to drink this evening.” “I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile. “Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?” “Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf.” * * * Brenda O’Malley is home maki ng dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. “Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya”. “Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But where’s my husband?” “That’s what I’m here to be telling ya, Brenda.” There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery…" “Oh, God no!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me.” I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I’m sorry. Finally, she looked up at Tim. “How did it happen, Tim?” “It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned.” “Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?” “Well, Brenda… no. In fact, he got out three times to pee.” * * * Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’ Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears. He says, " So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.” The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?” She says, “That he did, Father.” The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? " He said, ‘Please Mary, put down that damn gun…’ * * * AND THE BEST For LAST A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, “ain’t no use knockin, there’s no paper on this side either!”\*\* ---
**Author:** ![HotMama](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/hotmama/32/1786_2.png) [@HotMama](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/HotMama)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 12:53am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/st-patty-jokes/2561/2 "2007-03-18T00:53:44Z")
Thank you Lor.. I can just see it: the pherobar.. Where everybody knows your smell 😃 Where you’re the bartender.. I’d be there every night!! HM ---
**Author:** ![MarkL](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/markl/32/825_2.png) [@MarkL](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MarkL)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 1:13am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/st-patty-jokes/2561/3 "2007-03-18T01:13:46Z")
Not specifically a St Patty joke, but … Little Tommy and his younger brothers Sean and Mikey are, well, hellions … ages 8, 6, and 4. Their poor father had an accident in the mines .. an after lunch accident .. and so their poor mother has her hands full just keeping them barely civilized and in clean underwear, especially with the youngest two (red head twin girls not yet up to their second birthday) still needing so much attention. She decided to have the local priest take them up on their behavior, asked him to put the fear of God into them. So after mass that Sunday, she hauls the trio into the rectory office and the priest rolls in, and in a resonant baritone says: “Tommy, Sean, Mikey, your poor muther tells me you’ve been up to mischief … answer me this: Where is God?” Tommy is bewildered. The priest says God is not only posh and pomp on holidays and Sunday mass, but God is in the small details, too. He obviously thinks the boys are impressed with this thought, so he intones: “Where is Gawd?” The boys squirm. The priest notices, calculates, is sure he has them where he wants them. Once again, almost bellowing, the notes ringing from the walls, drawing himself up from his desk, towering over the boys, waiting for them to begin bawling: “Wheeeeere is Gaaaaaawd?” At which point Tommy grabs each brother by the hand and bolts for the door, saying: _ **“C’mon! Dey’ve lost God an’ dere tryin’ to blame it on us three!”** _ ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 1:39am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/st-patty-jokes/2561/4 "2007-03-18T01:39:11Z")
Hahahahahahaha Cute