# Teen Dilemma, call for advice (lengthy)

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/teen-dilemma-call-for-advice-lengthy/33345>\
**Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\
**Created:** [October 16, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/teen-dilemma-call-for-advice-lengthy/33345 "2009-10-16T02:23:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Zansteps](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/zansteps/32/2407_2.png) [@Zansteps](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Zansteps)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/teen-dilemma-call-for-advice-lengthy/33345/1 "2009-10-16T02:23:11Z")

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Okay guys, so, I need just a little bit of general relationship advice…

Homecoming dance is a week away and I don’t have a date… my IG and IO are going to be in i think Wednsday next week, the dance is next saturday…

Today during 7th hour, my last class of the day (Philosophy), we had a big paper due ( I over shot the word limit of 4000 by 600 words -\_- ) and the teacher was taking time to speak with each student individually. While she was doing that, she’d given us this article to read about existential reality (Really interesting stuff actually… I’m a nerd :-p). I’d read the article, highlighted some stuff, but it was getting kinda noisy with the other students on my side of the room, so I went to the other and grabbed a desk by my ex girlfriend (Who is now a really good friend of mine, weird how that works). We talked about the article a bit, and then I noticed I was 2 rows over from this girl, we’ll call her ‘LR’.

LR is simply an amazing girl. Mature, Smart as a whip, and about as beautiful as geniuses come. There is nothing I like more than a smart and pretty girl. She has a taste for intelligent humor, which I all too willingly provide. Anyways, so there she was, and I noticed that she was done with the article too. The teacher had encouraged that we discuss the article with other students, so I broke away from my ex and sat on top of a desk next to LR. We were talking about the article and like K-Train says, theres no better icebreaker than home/classwork.

Side Note: When I sat on top of the desk (I continue to stress that because its just one of the odd things I normally do, but I’m also surprised it didn’t sway LR, because it seemed like a slightly immature thing to do that she might have disapproved of.), LR almost immediately engaged me in conversation, not something I really expected.

Back track 2 days, it was afterschool, just after Philosophy class had ended (I have Philosophy every other day). I ran to go get some food cause I hadn’t eaten all day. I left my stuff in class because I had to stay after to speak with the teacher about the essay that was due next class. When I get back, Brisk and Honey Bun in hand(s), I notice LR just finished talking to the teacher, and LR was sniffling, like she’d been crying. She avoided eye contact with me as she was leaving.

After I got home after my meeting with the teacher, I got on facebook and asked LR “Whats up?” in just a regular, casual text tone (so difficult to convey tone through text these days :-p ) which I don’t think was something she expected at all. We know eachother because this is the second year we’ve had Philosophy with one another, but we aren’t really friends. She apologized for what happened after Philosophy class, saying she was just having a bad afternoon. I told her it was nothing to be sorry about, these things happen, and then we carried on a light conversation till she had to go. I think that was the icebreaker right there.

So now skip 2 days forward, I’m sitting on a desk next to LR and she asked me if I had reviewed her essay that was due today. A day ago all the students were assigned to peer review (anonymously) an essay through a website tool. She said it was a very well written review, and she agreed with a lot of what the reviewer said, and then she added that it sounded a lot like something I would write. I was kinda rocked by the comment. LR, one of the smartest, most beautiful girls in the class has established a positive opinion about my writing style.

Unfortunately I had to tell her that I wasn’t the one that reviewed her essay, as much as I wish I had. Since I hadn’t reviewed it, I started to ask her a couple of questions about her topic and such, and in turn she asked a few about mine. We went back and forth until 5 minutes before the bell. She had to leave class to go check the grade she got on her Calculus test (it was a 100… have I mentioned I love smart girls?) and I had to go pack up my stuff.

Now, my question (by the way, if you’ve made it this far, I thank you deeply). If I wanted to ask LR to the dance, how should I proceed? I have 1 week’s time till the dance, and IG and IO at my disposal.

Side note: What happened in the past 2 philosophy classes was completely without Pheros (apart from naturals, which puzzles me a bit… hmmmm).

Should I use both and try to talk to her a little more before I ask her, or should I just use IO to talk to her, then just IG when I ask her?

LR is almost a stranger to me, apart from knowing one another’s names, and having had a chat or 2 over the past 2 years we’ve had Philosophy together.

Any and All advice would be greatly appreciated.

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**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 7:16am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/teen-dilemma-call-for-advice-lengthy/33345/2 "2009-10-16T07:16:29Z")

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OK Zan my advice:

1: It’s your reality my friend. Sitting on top of a desk, doing those little things we do is what makes us, us. If you take notice and think its imature to her, you are projecting that you are embarrassed by potentially immature behavior. It’s only embarrassing if YOU are embarrassed by it, not if she is. I cannot emphasize just how ALPHA it is to NOT care what others think of your behavior. Believe in yourself that the world is entirely made up by whatever is in your eyes view of said world. My world didn’t exist to you, until by you bringing my existence into your world. If YOU didn’t bring me into your world you would have lived your entire life and never, not one nanosecond would I have existed to you.

I say this because in your own words its just something you do and you don’t take notice to it, but today you did. You were about to, or are thinking of altering your behavior for a person that only exists because you, and you alone, choose to have her exist in your reality. It is EXTREMELY attractive to a woman when a man is in complete control of his self and simply does not care what others think of his actions.

Now before anyone says–but everyone needs to care about there actions because every action has an equal and opposite reaction. That’s 100% correct and is exactly why knowing this law is why in your reality you strive to have control over those things. You don’t dress nice to get the girl. You dress nice because you like to dress nice for yourself. You educate yourself not to get a job, but because in your passion for your life you strive to create the very best reality for yourself.

I have a friend and the best quote he ever said to me was “I don’t care if I make a good or horrible impact, as long as I make an impact!” Make an impact, but do it for YOU!

> [@](#):
>
> She apologized for what happened after Philosophy class, saying she was just having a bad afternoon. I told her it was nothing to be sorry about, these things happen

LOL, next time stop appeasing her because you like her. She can get that from the 50 other guys that orbit her saying nice things and buying her stuff because they want to get inside her 😉. Come back with something witty that says all the right things like: "Oh I totally understand these things happen…I have that effect on women…I’ll let you make it up to me 😉. Whether in person or SMS it screams I am ALPHA and you want me.

The whole thing about the peer review was her way of saying she wants you. OK let me yell at you for a second and excuse the cursing before I get started: STOP FUCKING LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHE’S A SEX TOY FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH MAN!. Get over it already, there are millions upon millions of hotties in the world. You’re presenting her as if she has a fucking halo on her head. She is giving YOU every opportunity and practically bending over the desk assuming the doggie style position for you to mount her and all you can say is:

> [@](#):
>
> Unfortunately I had to tell her that I wasn’t the one that reviewed her essay, as much as I wish I had.

Zan, my friend, please you are blowing it! The only reason it was unfortunate was because you didn’t get to drop roses at her feet while bowing down saying I’m not worthy. I wish I could be your lap dog 🙄.

Next time take a cocky/funny stance, again that is going to SCREAM ALPHA and say: "It’s really is unfortunate I didn’t get the chance. You think you had a bad day the other day? …pause… (I’ll explain the importance of pauses in a second) …nah I’m just kidding, I wouldn’t have made you cry…pause…well not too bad anyway…pause… Then look her right in the eyes and crack a BIG smile.

When she gets that OMG no he didn’t and gives you a shot in the arm, grab her hand and hold it and pull her just a little closer to you. All the while keep the eye contact and a slight grin, shit eating. I like to think of how the woman will be screaming as I go to town with my tongue on her pussy while I pull her ever so gently into me with only her hand, slightly pulling in with my body.  
{It’s called sending and if you visualize eating her and having her screaming with orgasm after orgasm all the while grasping the back of your hair with her hands pulling you in deeper into her, wrapping her legs around you as if she is attempting to pull your entire face into her, juices dripping down your mouth over your chin, her face a contorted picture of pure ecstasy, bliss! My example is the way I picture it in my mind and its very vivid because with my sly grin and my eyes I am sending her that very image}  
Just when we are getting closer I stop, take her hand in my one hand and throw it back at her, again very gently and day—oooohhhhoohah, you are baaaad! Then get a BIG smile again like you know she just tried to seduce you. This is SteveO’s “patented” take me into the back room, closet, backseat of your car, just fucking take me NOW game 😛, shared for the first time with you, well every other person who comes along and reads this too 🆒.

OK this girl wants you to ask her, not just to the dance, but anything at all. Unless you’ve already gone to far and kissed her feet along with the hundreds of other guys who already ORBIT her like a moon orbiting their planet, she wants you. Remember it’s reality!

If [pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/) were out of the picture it’s your decision whether they are in the picture. Next time you see her, disqualify yourself to her. You read that right…let her know that you could never go out with her. say to her after some additional witty banter: We could never date…pause…it would always end in a fight…pause…and I would always win!

If she is like every other human being she has an ego. She will say blah blah blah, no I would win, blah blah blah.

More banter, then say in a not overly friendly, but still some semblance of friendliness a statement of interest: “I like you” and then hand her your phone and say put your number in there. Don’t ask, hand and tell her.  
When she is doing it and she will, tell her "you should come to the dance with me (very matter of fact) and pause. Wait for her response. If she says yes, great, I’ll call you and tell you when I’m picking you up. Then leave it at that. It lets her know that you are in control of everything.

On the other hand if she says no, I have herpes, a date with a yak in Taiwan, joining the Army so they ship me off to Baghdad to hopefully die so I never have to see your stinking ass again:o, drop to your knee’s and grovel, beg, plead, cry and whimper all the while rolling around on the floor ending in the fetal position.

OK that last part was kind of a joke, but whats the worse that can happen? Especially to the only guy with BALLS enough to ask her in the middle of class without any type of embarrassment. Smile and say, “I understand, you probably couldn’t handle it anyway…pause…smile, I’ll keep you on the list for next time I have an opening”. Don’t walk away defeated. You didn’t lose here. YOU WON, by letting every guy and girl that you are the man with balls and you are going to be legend. Don’t be awkward, don’t stop talking to her, make sure you give her a call. Ask me about my amazing phone game another time.

Tying up the loose ends: Pauses with slow speak is very hypnotic and says I am a man and I am completely in control. People listen to me and I therefore think and speak clearly and slowly so that you can comprehend every word I am saying. You’re used to people being on the edge of their seats waiting for what you have to say–its your reality.

When you go and pull her hand towards you and if she resists at all, you’ll know what that feels like, then drop her hand right away and say, you’re naughty and crack a smile. It just means your calibration is off and somewhere you didn’t build enough attraction.

If she refuses the number in the phone trick, say you do have a phone right? Make it seem like its just a phone number and recalibrate to build attraction.

If these things are happening keep building attraction until you have it then proceed to the next step.

Remember to never make her feel uncomfortable because you mis-calibrated. It’s your reality so take full responsibility for your reality and make it happen.

It’s late and I was out drinking some beer so if any of this doesn’t make sense my fellow forum members should step in and clarify for me. Most of what you should say is on the cuff for the sake of having words to write. Words here in this post and words from my mouth are usually very different. You’ll have to adapt to what fits you, but I think they project enough definition to the picture to create depth.

Enjoy and call if you need 🙂

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**Author:** ![Zansteps](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/zansteps/32/2407_2.png) [@Zansteps](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Zansteps)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/teen-dilemma-call-for-advice-lengthy/33345/3 "2009-10-16T17:01:28Z")

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HAHA! Steve, I think you misunderstand the situation \>\_\< She isn’t some mega-hottie with 50 guys around her, I just happen to think she’s beautiful in an intelligent way. But I guess she is kind of an Alpha.

I’m not trying to have sex with her… for god’s sake man I only just turned 17… I’m just thinking about asking her to the dance, and then seeing what happens after that.

She was crying because she’d had a bad afternoon and a conflict with a different, exteremely unfair and unforgiving teacher. And seriously, I wasn’t going to lie to her and say I did the peer review, incase she finds whoever actually DID her peer review, then she’d be pissed at me.

But I do see what you’re saying about being the Alpha and in control. This past year so far I’ve been pretty cocky, being a senior in highschool, top of the food chain, head of the totem pole, does alot for your self-esteem.

Unrelated question: Alot of people have told me to shy away from A314 because I’m still sorta young. What about TUTH if I want to just do a one night stand (not with LR, but in case this thing with LR doesn’t work out)?

EDIT: Holy crap ^_^ I just openned the package that my Pheros came in and there is a gift TO-Go size of TUTH… Wooooooow Steve, you guys are mind readers/future tellers \>_\<

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**Author:** ![lukus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e4f/32.png) [@lukus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/lukus)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/teen-dilemma-call-for-advice-lengthy/33345/4 "2009-10-16T18:18:06Z")

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> [@Zansteps](#):
>
> HAHA! Steve, I think you misunderstand the situation \>\_\< She isn’t some mega-hottie with 50 guys around her, I just happen to think she’s beautiful in an intelligent way. But I guess she is kind of an Alpha.

It doesn’t really matter if they are a mega-hottie or not, just because their looks maybe compleate opposites, their personality may not be.

While I agree to some parts of what steve mentioned, I wouldn’t take it too literially in the sense of ‘word for word’.

Two key points I agree with steve would be:

1. Dont suck up to her
2. Mention things that invite a response or reaction.

The example of “ill let you make it up to me” is a great example. Not only does this allow you to comfort her you do it in a way in that you’re not sucking up to her. You also invite her to respond verbally or by an action, most likely verbally in your case so she would of responded “make it up to you how?” or similar. A simple response of “how good are you at massages” would of been suficciant, if she agress you’ve always got that card to play in your hand.

> [@](#):
>
> And seriously, I wasn’t going to lie to her and say I did the peer review, incase she finds whoever actually DID her peer review, then she’d be pissed at me.

You dont have to lie to her at all. You could of said “That would be telling”, if she goes “awww go on tell me” jsut go “that’s going to be two massages now you know”…

Well lots of things to say 🙂. You could be cheeky and then turn around and say two massages are boring, and get her to up her game.

my 2cents anyways 🙂

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**Author:** ![catlord17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@catlord17](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/catlord17)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 3:35am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/teen-dilemma-call-for-advice-lengthy/33345/5 "2009-10-17T03:35:45Z")

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Steve’s advice seems to be a bit of overkill for how I read the situation, but I may be too tired to be following this fully.

My advice is simple. Be your own man. The theme the three of us who respond with is just that. Be your own man. You don’t need her, this is not her reality, you enjoy her company so you elect to spend time in her vicinity - or, even more “alpha”, you allow her to spend time in yours.

But if you’re not experienced with taking control, you will have to learn how a step at a time. Jumping in at the deep end is a sure way to learn the fastest, and make a royal ass of yourself while you do. It requires calibration to know how far to go, and in what situation.

I suggest you pay close attention to her body language (and learn female body language very well, my friend, or you’re missing 90% of what she’s communicating). Tease, flirt, be playful, but don’t be like other guys who want to get in her. Steve’s got it right… but I don’t think he realized you’re just turning 17 with his response. lol

Anyway, my advice is to be your own man, play with her. Socializing is a game; play it with her, have fun, but don’t take it too seriously and don’t be needy. Women love to be given a tease, and then forced to ask for more… and then another tease, and another. Why they love teases I don’t know, but they do. And by tease, I mean, a little taste of what they want, and then have it scoot back just a bit out of reach - while they can see it and want it still.

It takes practice and experience. Lukus gives good advice too.

As for how to ask her to the dance, I suggest this.

“I’m going to the dance. Wanna be my date?”

That way, you’re not really set up for a fall if she turns you down or already has a date. You’re already going, with or without her, and you’re not being needy about it.

Another way, which is ballsier and more of a risk, is to assume the sale. while walking down the hall, put her arm in yours and say, “I have decided that you’re going to be my date for the dance.” and then act as if it is perfectly natural and already a fact. Be genuinely incredulous if she disagrees, but don’t take it personally. 🙂

That one takes more skill and experience to pull off well because it is context sensitive as to exactly how you do it. But a guy being in charge and just slightly too ballsy is something women love, even if they don’t always want to admit it.

She may still shoot you down, but you are in change of your destiny, and her disagreeing doesn’t affect you, so it really doesn’t matter either way to you. In a situation like that, I would laugh and say something like, “You have such a cute nose when you do that. Catch ya later, then.” and then turn and walk away. In other words, demonstrate that her rejection/turn down has not affected you, and let it go.

Everyone has their own style. Hope I’m not too tired here to be making sense, and hopefully you got something worthwhile out of my ramblings. I’d wish you luck, but luck is not for a man in charge of his own destiny. So instead, I wish you success.