# The Dogs letter to God

**URL:** <https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-dogs-letter-to-god/22993>\
**Category:** Lounge\
**Created:** [November 17, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-dogs-letter-to-god/22993 "2008-11-17T22:45:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![mark-in-dallas](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mark-in-dallas/32/860_2.png) [@mark-in-dallas](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mark-in-dallas)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-dogs-letter-to-god/22993/1 "2008-11-17T22:45:32Z")

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**TO: GOD:**

**FROM: THE DOG**

* * *

**Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?**

**Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?**

**Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?**

**Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the “Chrysler Eagle” the " Chrysler Beagle"?**

**Dear God: If a! dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?**

**Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?**

**Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.**

**Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.**

**1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it! up.**

**2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.**

**3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.**

**4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.**

**5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.**

**6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.**

**7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello”.**

**8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table** \*\*.\*\*

**9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.**

**10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.**

**11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.**

**12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.**

**P.S. Dear God: _When I get to Heaven can I have my testicles back?_**

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**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 10:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-dogs-letter-to-god/22993/2 "2008-11-17T22:59:51Z")

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Hey, at least my story about you had a happy ending,

Oh wait, this was just a list of things not directly aimed at me… 😃

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**Author:** ![mark-in-dallas](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mark-in-dallas/32/860_2.png) [@mark-in-dallas](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mark-in-dallas)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 11:17pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-dogs-letter-to-god/22993/3 "2008-11-17T23:17:02Z")

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And just what made you think it was aimed at you, woofie? 🙄 😉