# The friend zone, defined **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [December 6, 2008, 1:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-friend-zone-defined/23706 "2008-12-06T13:28:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pushtin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pushtin](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/pushtin)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 5:07am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-friend-zone-defined/23706/21 "2008-12-09T05:07:51Z")
Hi Gegogi, I totally agree with you when you said; “You can’t force somebody to desire or love you” , and in fact that was my whole point. Let’s be honest here, 99% of guys who hang around with ladies they have been shot down by are actually being that Son of Narcissus you described. Why? because their motives aren’t pure in the least. They still want the woman, and would jump on any indication that the female would have them the way they want her to. That isn’t really being honest at all. In fact it’s “false advertising”. They still have the same feelings of desire for her and are simply hanging around for the opportuninity to present itself to move in on her again. THAT seems pretty self centered to me.. In fact, I stated that being friends with a woman, is different than being in the “friend zone”. They are two entirely different things. You can even be friends With a woman you are attracted to. I’ve got a number of them. BUT, once you make a move on her, or state your desire to her and she doesn’t reciprocate the sentiment/respond in kind, it changes the whole dynamic of the relationship. How can it not?😕 “Riding off into the sunset” isn’t some self centered thing in the least. I see it as the mature thing to do that’s the best for all parties involved. It isn’t done in some cavalier, arrogant, “Screw You, you Bitch!” manner at all. Quite the opposite in fact… But riding away, in my opinion, is the best thing to do. However, I respect your right to disagree with me. 🙂 That is what makes this forum, and our world a great place.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 8:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-friend-zone-defined/23706/22 "2008-12-09T08:20:06Z")
Sorry, I thought friendship and “friend zone” were synonymous. But now I realize friend zone simply means the guy made a move, got rejected and pretends to be a friend in case she changes her mind. Not a smart or honest play but it seems to be a popular ploy considering all the attention it gets here and by male enhancing self-help gurus. I assume these fools allow some level of emotional investment and bonding before an actual relationship ensues, so backing out is difficult and painful. I like to approach relationships more open ended and without a preconceived outcome. Just be my friendly normal self but no emotional investment without serious involvement. Who knows, although I may be attracted to her sexually, she may turn out to be a friend, foe, business contact, ally or lover. Why limit yourself to a single category, e.g., lover? Just enjoy the experience and let it run its natural course. Plus, she certainly has friends you might wish to meet. ---
**Author:** ![outheo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@outheo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/outheo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 1:03am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-friend-zone-defined/23706/23 "2008-12-15T01:03:26Z")
I call it the ‘work wife’ phenomenon. A person with whom you interact in the same way that you interact with your significant other but within boundaries. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-friend-zone-defined/23706.md?page=1)