# The Mystery Method: can it rebuild my dating game after a bad breakup? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [January 8, 2007, 11:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471 "2007-01-08T11:48:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TheSaint97](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thesaint97/32/2454_2.png) [@TheSaint97](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheSaint97)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 11:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/1 "2007-01-08T11:48:10Z")
I’m really not one to buy into alot of the ebooks offered online to help someone’s dating game. However, I figured I’d ask you guys if this method has worked for you.. And when I say worked I mean, you were once a shy guy with no game, and now you have a full list of contacts and women who are considered 9s and 10s. I don’t consider myself desperate but let me explain my circumstance. I’ve dated some 8s and 9s in the past back when I had great game and confidence, but for whatever reason this last relationship I was in really f_ **ed me up and I lost interest in going back out into the dating game. Basically my good friend f** _ed the woman I thought I was going to someday marry and I thought she loved me and all that bs. I started to really put myself down and blame myself for everything.. I stopped going out and socializing.. I felt like s\*\*\*. Today, I’m starting to get that energy and confidence back and want to give this another go, but I figured why not try a different way of approaching and holding relationships with girls. The mystery method sounds good but so do alot of things that salesmen try and sell.. So I’m hoping some of you experienced users can steer me in the right direction! Thanks alot 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mercury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@mercury](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mercury)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 2:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/2 "2007-01-08T14:34:51Z")
mystery method is great. Read “the game” by neil strauss and you will understand why it works. ---
**Author:** ![TheSaint97](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thesaint97/32/2454_2.png) [@TheSaint97](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheSaint97)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/3 "2007-01-08T15:35:46Z")
Yeah, I am going to check it out.. I’ve had enough of living in the past and allowing it to predict my future with women. So what if the girl I dated and loved didn’t know how good she had it until she f\*\*\*ed up.. It’s my time to shine and most of all go out and have fun once again! I’ll let you all know how things turn out. ---
**Author:** ![tacitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tacitus)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 5:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/4 "2007-01-08T17:08:49Z")
Think about the logic of this… you have a girl that is perceived as a 9 or a 10, other guys may be thinking the same thing, all that beauty takes control of their minds and puts them into monkey-man mode. You also learn that looking 9 or 10 doesn’t make someone ethically a 9 or a 10… often really beautiful women have issues that are directly related to having the world treat them like 9s and 10s… like, they get addicted to that passionately focused attention from men that have only recently met them… then as time passes, as with your relationship, you are no longer so hypnotized by her 9 to 10ness and start to know her as she is, but she has this addicition perhaps, and on one lebvel of her being she may has misinterprested your loss of hypnotic fascination as dwindling interest… when in fact it may have been more like getting into the groove of a normal realtionship… so another guy pops up and showers her with laser like focused attention… and the attention addicition part is saying, oh yeah, this IS this the good stuff… it may be transient and superficial, but it is like a sugar rush for her… and you’ve moved on to the proteins and balanced carbs part of the realtionship… ---
**Author:** ![MarkL](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/markl/32/825_2.png) [@MarkL](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MarkL)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/5 "2007-01-08T17:20:05Z")
Heya Saint, I empathize with your situation. Sometimes there is a strong “couplism” bias in our society – the idea is out there that every Barbie has her Ken and vice versa, and if you aren’t coupled up you might find that some people find that too threatening. When my wife and I made choices and we grew apart, each of us (with the help and support of others) said the equivalent of “We fu\*\*\*ed up” and blamed ourselves. Now I say, “Each of us made choices – which, from one point of view were mistakes.” They were mistakes only if you have the position that staying together as a couple is the most important thing in the world. So, I want to let you know you have my support and best wishes in your quest to get your game back on – but here’s hoping it’s for the enjoyment of socializing and meeting a whole spectrum of awesome people, not just to wind you back up into a “one-itis” situation. The three of you made some choices and learned something about yourselves and one another. In and of itself, that’s not a bad outcome. And you’ve gotten a taste of divorce without ever having to get legally married. That’s experience you can bank, congratulations. Being disillusioned sounds like an unhappy thing – but is being illusioned better? You give me every indication of being a capable, resourceful guy – even so, the offer of support is on, though I suspect you’re going to do just fine with or without … ---
**Author:** ![malacide](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/malacide/32/925_2.png) [@malacide](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/malacide)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/6 "2007-01-08T17:26:48Z")
yeah ive read the first 3 chapters of the MM sounds really good i hope to finish it soon… but yes i would sugest it as a helpful way to get back into the dating game ---
**Author:** ![Rbt](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/rbt/32/2066_2.png) [@Rbt](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Rbt)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 8:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/7 "2007-01-08T20:45:16Z")
I notice Mystery references a fair amount of Deangelo stuff, so if you are just beginning you might consider the DYD eBooks and maybe some of the programs. You can buy the CDs and DVDs off eBay, use them, then resell them and not be out much (may even come out ahead). Mystery is a notch up. I’m just barely getting into the Venusian Arts eBook. He also gets a little too “technical” for me. I think the key is working on your social skills first. But different strokes… ---
**Author:** ![Richelieu](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/richelieu/32/594_2.png) [@Richelieu](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Richelieu)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 8:51pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/8 "2007-01-08T20:51:22Z")
Nice post MarkL! 😃 I have read the Venusian arts as well as many other pick up books, the Venusian arts though technical as someone has already stated is an enjoyable read and a lot of the techniques very sound, good luck to you in your pursuit of self development! ---
**Author:** ![PheroQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@PheroQuirk](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/PheroQuirk)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/9 "2007-01-08T20:54:40Z")
> [@TheSaint97](#): > > I’m really not one to buy into alot of the ebooks offered online to help someone’s dating game. However, I figured I’d ask you guys if this method has worked for you.. And when I say worked I mean, you were once a shy guy with no game, and now you have a full list of contacts and women who are considered 9s and 10s. I don’t consider myself desperate but let me explain my circumstance. I’ve dated some 8s and 9s in the past back when I had great game and confidence, but for whatever reason this last relationship I was in really f_ **ed me up and I lost interest in going back out into the dating game. Basically my good friend f** _ed the woman I thought I was going to someday marry and I thought she loved me and all that bs. I started to really put myself down and blame myself for everything.. I stopped going out and socializing.. I felt like s\*\*\*. Today, I’m starting to get that energy and confidence back and want to give this another go, but I figured why not try a different way of approaching and holding relationships with girls. The mystery method sounds good but so do alot of things that salesmen try and sell.. So I’m hoping some of you experienced users can steer me in the right direction! Thanks alot 😉 The MM book is worth a read but there is also plenty of stuff you can read online for free. Here are some links… [Seduction Database - Pick Up and Seduction Database](http://www.bristollair.com/) [The Sex Revolution Blog » Blog Archive » The Natural Game Compendium](http://sexrevolutionblog.com/?p=102) (Natural Game Compendium) [Pick Up Guide: Maniac High’s Pick Up Girls Guide and Seduction Website!](http://www.pickupguide.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Gem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Gem](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gem)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 9:49pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/11 "2007-01-08T21:49:11Z")
> [@TheSaint97](#): > > I’m really not one to buy into alot of the ebooks offered online to help someone’s dating game. However, I figured I’d ask you guys if this method has worked for you.. And when I say worked I mean, you were once a shy guy with no game, and now you have a full list of contacts and women who are considered 9s and 10s. I don’t consider myself desperate but let me explain my circumstance. I’ve dated some 8s and 9s in the past back when I had great game and confidence, but for whatever reason this last relationship I was in really f_ **ed me up and I lost interest in going back out into the dating game. Basically my good friend f** _ed the woman I thought I was going to someday marry and I thought she loved me and all that bs. I started to really put myself down and blame myself for everything.. I stopped going out and socializing.. I felt like s\*\*\*. Today, I’m starting to get that energy and confidence back and want to give this another go, but I figured why not try a different way of approaching and holding relationships with girls. The mystery method sounds good but so do alot of things that salesmen try and sell.. So I’m hoping some of you experienced users can steer me in the right direction! Thanks alot 😉 Don’t bother learning game. From what you said you used to be confident, happy and successful in relationship, this was spoiled by a relationship gone wrong (I’be been there - you have my sympathy) and it has really knocked you. Instead of trying to create someone else (a PUA) to deal with it, just take stock and remember who you were before this all happened, what made you happy, what you enjoyed etc… You deserve happiness and no person has the right to take that away - not the girl and not your best friend. Get your chin up, stick your chest out and show the world what you are made of. You don’t need game, you are a superstar, you are whatever you want to be, get back where you were champ. Oh and I don’t know what your criteria is for scoring women, but I am willing to bet that the women you consider 9-10’s are not going to make you happy. Look a bit deeper, get past your preconceptions about what makes a good woman and experiement a bit. Good luck fella, I believe in you, ---
**Author:** ![TheSaint97](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/thesaint97/32/2454_2.png) [@TheSaint97](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/TheSaint97)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2007, 3:24am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/12 "2007-01-09T03:24:43Z")
Wow, thanks alot everyone for the encouragement. I guess I felt kind of embarassed to mention my situation but I also feel that alot of you have gone through similar scenarios. I’m not really holding on to what happened anymore.. Right now I am trying my best to create a healthy change of direction in my life. I’ve been working out 3-4 times a week, eating healthy, and now I want to specifically work on this area of my life with women. I’ll be finishing school this fall and will probably be moving to a different location, and I guess now is a good time to pick my ass back up and regain some of that confidence I once had! It will be like starting over fresh and that alone makes me feel better. I’ll let you all know how things improve. ---
**Author:** ![Crocodile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Crocodile](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Crocodile)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2007, 5:23pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/13 "2007-01-09T17:23:53Z")
Honestly I think De Angelo stuff works better. You don’t have to memorize lines and it’s a system easier to fake (acting cocky and funny). One thing, none of them mentions [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/). It’s only mention briefly in The Game and Style insinuates that they didn’t work on in. Ps: there is nothing to be embaressed about, some people are born with the game, some don’t 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mercury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@mercury](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mercury)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2007, 9:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/14 "2007-01-09T21:11:47Z")
> [@Crocodile](#): > > Honestly I think De Angelo stuff works better. You don’t have to memorize lines and it’s a system easier to fake (acting cocky and funny). > > One thing, none of them mentions pheromones. It’s only mention briefly in The Game and Style insinuates that they didn’t work on in. > > Ps: there is nothing to be embaressed about, some people are born with the game, some don’t 😉 i dont remember style ever mentioning pheromones in the book. Where page does he talk about it? ---
**Author:** ![Crocodile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Crocodile](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Crocodile)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2007, 9:52pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/15 "2007-01-09T21:52:24Z")
I don’t have access to the book anymore (it’s in my friend’s pc) but I know it’s in the first 120 pages (all I could read). I remember because I had just found about pheromones and is opinion got printed in my memory. It’s a really small part of the book (1 or 2 lines). He said he put on a product once (didn’t mention the name) and the only thing he noticed was the funny smell. But maybe I’m mistaken. Il try to read the book again. ---
**Author:** ![Shifty101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/57b2e6/32.png) [@Shifty101](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Shifty101)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2008, 5:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/16 "2008-01-01T17:11:02Z")
Hey, My boyfriend was really in to the Mystery Method and it worked for him before he met me and to get me! He was a really good flirt. If you’re interested in Mystery Method and similar Pick Up techniques then by bf now runs a website which contains loads of articles written by Mystery Method instructors. It’s worth having a look at: [Mr M from The Mystery Method - Dating, Pickup, Seduction](http://www.growyourgame.com/articles/mr-m-from-the-mystery-method/) Good luck gaming. ---
**Author:** ![Goukix0x](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/goukix0x/32/1943_2.png) [@Goukix0x](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Goukix0x)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 9:55pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/17 "2008-01-02T21:55:18Z")
If you want something that works alot better I would suggest JM (Juggler Method) It is about NATURAL game and there are no lines or canned material. It is all about making you a better person and in turn making you more attractive in the womans eye. MM has gotten alot of great publicity due to the game, but frankly there are way better “Gamers” out there, Zan perrion, Wayne etc. ---
**Author:** ![mockingbird](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mockingbird/32/1790_2.png) [@mockingbird](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2008, 5:04am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/20 "2008-02-05T05:04:16Z")
Thanks a lot for sharing those links ssMaster! worthy of rep points 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Schridex](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/schridex/32/1244_2.png) [@Schridex](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Schridex)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 5:11am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-mystery-method-can-it-rebuild-my-dating-game-after-a-bad-breakup/1471/21 "2013-04-20T05:11:52Z")
Yeah, if you haven’t already, read The Game. Knowing Social Dynamics really helps your game!