# The Opposite Of Pickup - With Better Results **URL:** \ **Category:** Lounge\ **Created:** [November 26, 2007, 9:49am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926 "2007-11-26T09:49:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:49am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/1 "2007-11-26T09:49:25Z")
Check this out [The Opposite Of Pickup - With Better Results at The “Infamous” Angel Eyes, Devil Smile](http://www.angeleyesdevilsmile.com/blog/confessions/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/) I wonder what you think about it.. Not trying to pick up and get a girl’s number? Hmm what if you never meet her again (quite possible) ? ---
**Author:** ![nikefredo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9bcb4/32.png) [@nikefredo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/nikefredo)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 9:54pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/2 "2007-11-28T21:54:12Z")
kind of the reverse u dont look interested walk away and the girl feels unwanted not bad nice post ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 10:07pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/3 "2007-11-28T22:07:07Z")
True but I’m still thinking of that girl I met last week, didn’t ask her for her number, now I’m hoping I’ll chance upon her later this week, but I can’t tell if she’ll be there for sure.. 😮 Well if that happens to be the case there’s more fish in the sea for sure.. ---
**Author:** ![arney6273](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c5a1d2/32.png) [@arney6273](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/arney6273)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/4 "2007-11-28T22:33:06Z")
hey Phoenix, that a great web site been there 4 about 3 days now, alot of whats said makes alot of sense, **Angel Eyes Devil Smiles** is is definitely worth its weight in gold…5 stars!! ---
**Author:** ![nikefredo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9bcb4/32.png) [@nikefredo](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/nikefredo)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/5 "2007-11-29T00:37:13Z")
yea but sometimes u cant let her get away ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 8:50am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/6 "2007-11-29T08:50:38Z")
> [@nikefredo](#): > > yea but sometimes u cant let her get away true.. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 9:13am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/7 "2007-11-29T09:13:37Z")
smooooooth move…classy…i like it… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![smoothplayer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@smoothplayer](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/smoothplayer)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 9:40am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/8 "2007-11-29T09:40:13Z")
Dang! I think I may have actually hung out with the guy who wrote the article! Small world we live in… I agree with everything he said anyway…I came to a similar conclusion long ago. Being results-oriented when dealing with women is just unnecessary stress. Results-oriented is good for other aspects of my life, but not dating or picking up. But at the same time…the whole “I’m just going out to make friends etc.” shouldn’t be a crutch to not take action when opportunity arises. So basically you can’t pretend like you’re not results-oriented when your hidden purpose for not caring is because you do actually care to get laid. You have to completely forget about everything altogether. So this isn’t a strategy or a ‘method’ …if you see it like that then you’re not getting it. By the way, I recommend the book “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle…it really changed the way I see things. ---
**Author:** ![flaming](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/flaming/32/212_2.png) [@flaming](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/flaming)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 12:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/9 "2007-11-29T12:45:13Z")
… whats this the zen of pick-up he he he 😛 Your so right smoothplayer being in the moment unconcerned with any result (negative or positive) is spontaneity. Easier said than done of course because you cant “DO” or not “DO” spontaneity lol.😃 Iv only glanced over The Power of Now but i was very focused on non-dualist teaching for over 15 years.I think it had the side benefit of being good with girls so you may be on to something 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 1:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/10 "2007-11-29T13:14:57Z")
> [@flaming](#): > > … whats this the zen of pick-up he he he 😛 > > Your so right smoothplayer being in the moment unconcerned with any result (negative or positive) is spontaneity. > Easier said than done of course because you cant “DO” or not “DO” spontaneity lol.😃 > Iv only glanced over The Power of Now but i was very focused on non-dualist teaching for over 15 years.I think it had the side benefit of being good with girls so you may be on to something 😉 Like you said I try to be unconcerned with the result. But I still hope for a good outcome so that’s a bit contradictory.. what I dislike is when you think she’s responding well to you, you give her your number and she flatly gives you some excuse instead ☹ I get the feeling some women are afraid of us men.. One girl once told me that she didn’t even want to be my friend after I asked her out.. to be fair it seemed she had some emotional issues which was the reason for that.. I guess statistically these results are to be expected.. not everyone will respond to you the way you would like, that’s all. You have to ignore them basically (learn from the experience though) and try again… ---
**Author:** ![Bella](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/bella/32/1738_2.png) [@Bella](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Bella)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 1:33pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/11 "2007-11-29T13:33:35Z")
She didn’t want to be your friend? Just as well…who wants to be on a one way street with a dead end? Turn the corner, Phoenix, I just know you’re gonna run into two way traffic!! Bella P.S. BTW, thanks for the rep point! ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 1:35pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/12 "2007-11-29T13:35:47Z")
> [@Bella](#): > > She didn’t want to be your friend? > > Just as well…who wants to be on a one way street with a dead end? > > Turn the corner, Phoenix, I just know you’re gonna run into two way traffic!! > > Bella > > P.S. BTW, thanks for the rep point! my pleasure to rep you! Nope she didn’t and she disappeared soon after. That was last year I think or early this year. I was using pheros for sure. In retrospect you can say it was no loss. Probably this is the part to keep in mind. If the answer is a negative one, it was no loss after all.. probably you saved yourself potential problems, emotional and otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![MarkL](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/markl/32/825_2.png) [@MarkL](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MarkL)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 7:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/13 "2007-11-29T19:34:29Z")
On Single-mindedness **On Single-mindedness and the Zen Method** “Trying to relax is like f\*cking for chastity.” So, what do you think will happen if someone who is single-minded in the pursuit of pickup suddenly changes gears and goes out with a single-minded program like _“I’m just here to make friends”_ or _“I’m just here to have fun”_? The issue is not one of not focusing on pickup by focusing on something else. The trick … I submit to you … is to go out not with a single-minded pursuit of any particular good … but to fashion for yourself a set of three, or five, or ten, or twenty-five “goals”. Don’t make a (linear) list if you use paper. Put a bubble in the center of the page, and leave it blank. Around it, jot down your many mini-goals. Or skip the paper and close your eyes and imagine a 3D mental space, the center of which is a little foggy but otherwise empty. Can’t think of ten casual/spontaneous things (no ticket purchase necessary) that you’d go out and enjoy? Then stay in and work on becoming more well-rounded. The items in your set can be hugely inconsistent, even contradictory: - meet a celebrity - have a quiet conversation about a topic I’m ignorant about - play a tense, challenging game of chess, or pool, or darts - find someone for a hot, anonymous, no-strings-attached sex adventure - observe phero-reactions - compare notes with someone on the well-being of a mutual friend - dance myself into ecstatic awareness - find the most distinctive noses, or ears, or lips, etc. in the room - fall in love - introduce two people I haven’t met to each other, because “you two look good together” - meet someone in a parallel career and discover - connect with someone who I can buddy up with to work out or play a sport - tell a story - kiss a stranger – persuade him or her to kiss in public without even exchanging names - listen to a story - practice deep, rhythmic breathing without scaring people - argue violently about politics, the war in Iraq, religion, etc. - flirt - trade ideas on how to celebrate a holiday / create a holiday tradition - notice and compare as many colors and textures of hair or clothes as available - enjoy the sound of music playing, even if the music is bad - discreetly sniff everyone … cologne, aftershave, halitosis, BO Be as whimsical or practical as you like, but _put enough items on your ‘radar’ that you can’t keep all of them in focus at one time._ And once you get accustomed to not always being focussed on \, you can, perhaps, let your “inner mental eye glaze over” and **defocus**. It might take a trial or two, or five even … maybe even seven or eight attempts … or ten. That’s what most people who get drunk are after, when you think about it: suspending focus. A shame that the alcohol is so expensive (yes, cash, but more so in terms of social-biological cost and in how it imposes debilities that go side-by-side with the experience of defocus.) Once you are able to defocus, you can better appreciate the art of “being still” and just letting that cloud at the center fill itself in. Zen. Word. The smell of baking bread. Cheers ---
**Author:** ![flaming](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/flaming/32/212_2.png) [@flaming](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/flaming)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 1:13am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/14 "2007-11-30T01:13:48Z")
ha ha ha iv done all that without a list 😛 What book did you get that out of Mark? its not an Allen Ginsberg poem is it 😃😃😃 . ---
**Author:** ![flaming](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/flaming/32/212_2.png) [@flaming](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/flaming)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 1:33am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/15 "2007-11-30T01:33:17Z")
> [@Phoenix](#): > > Like you said I try to be unconcerned with the result. But I still hope for a good outcome so that’s a bit contradictory.. what I dislike is when you think she’s responding well to you, you give her your number and she flatly gives you some excuse instead ☹ > I get the feeling some women are afraid of us men.. One girl once told me that she didn’t even want to be my friend after I asked her out.. to be fair it seemed she had some emotional issues which was the reason for that.. > I guess statistically these results are to be expected.. not everyone will respond to you the way you would like, that’s all. You have to ignore them basically (learn from the experience though) and try again… I know i hate that too but as they say you’ve just gotta get back on the horse knowing “thats life”…girls love to flirt and even a natural bombs out…sometimes. Well to some extent you have to plan for the future .Like Tisha’s “set and forget” principal about [pheromone](https://a314.com/) use the same applies to meeting girls.You can only use what you know works the result of which is not in your hands but you will witness what happens and improve next time. ---
**Author:** ![MarkL](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/markl/32/825_2.png) [@MarkL](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MarkL)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 6:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/16 "2007-11-30T06:27:10Z")
> [@flaming](#): > > … > What book did you get that out of Mark? its not an Allen Ginsberg poem is it 😃😃😃 That was a “nothin’ up my sleeve, pulled it out of my &$$” impromptu set of my own creation. 🆒😃 ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 6:36am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/17 "2007-11-30T06:36:42Z")
> [@flaming](#): > > I know i hate that too but as they say you’ve just gotta get back on the horse knowing “thats life”…girls love to flirt and even a natural bombs out…sometimes. > > Well to some extent you have to plan for the future .Like Tisha’s “set and forget” principal about pheromone use the same applies to meeting girls.You can only use what you know works the result of which is not in your hands but you will witness what happens and improve next time. You’re right .. anyway I changed the look of my hair a bit to be more sexy.. got a wet look now 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![flaming](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/flaming/32/212_2.png) [@flaming](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/flaming)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 9:35am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/18 "2007-11-30T09:35:38Z")
> [@MarkL](#): > > That was a “nothin’ up my sleeve, pulled it out of my &$$” impromptu set of my own creation. 🆒😃 😃 its great 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![flaming](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/flaming/32/212_2.png) [@flaming](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/flaming)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 9:40am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/19 "2007-11-30T09:40:40Z")
Me too Phoenix! .I splurged and got myself a 60 dollar haircut 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/phoenix/32/673_2.png) [@Phoenix](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 9:42am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926/20 "2007-11-30T09:42:07Z")
> [@flaming](#): > > Me too Phoenix! .I splurged and got myself a 60 dollar haircut 🙄 just washed my hair and messed with it with some gel without looking.. 🆒 [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-opposite-of-pickup-with-better-results/6926.md?page=2)