# The Quest for Congruence - Diary of a Feminist Man **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Journals\ **Created:** [April 8, 2013, 2:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691 "2013-04-08T14:43:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Feminist\_Man](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/feminist_man/32/1583_2.png) [@Feminist\_Man](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Feminist_Man)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 10:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/61 "2014-05-19T22:18:37Z")
Thanks for your continued interest and support, Miss Dragon. So, you have been wearing P96 then? I’ll be interested to hear how it feels and works for you as a woman when we do compare notes. In addition to the 7.5 mg P96 that went into the successful mix I have ordered an amount of very low concentration P96 (0.75 mg) purely because I’m interested to see if it also gets a response. More anon… ---
**Author:** ![tarnished](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@tarnished](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tarnished)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 1:01pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/62 "2014-05-23T13:01:52Z")
Thank you Feminist Man for sharing both your struggles and approaches. This is probably the best thread I have read here. Something that also really stuck out to me (chain read the entire thread this morn) is that lack of time might be playing a large role here as well. You both need “together time” with no interruptions and I don’t mean an hour or two a day. That lack of time over the years might have created an emotional and/or physical distance… who knows what kind of bad feelings can develop in the other partners head. Plan at least a four day vacation so you both can get away from it all. You would be amazed at how a long car ride is the perfect time to break through walls… Best of luck to you both and thanks for sharing! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Dragon](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/miss_dragon/32/866_2.png) [@Miss\_Dragon](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Miss_Dragon)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 9:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/63 "2014-05-24T21:22:10Z")
> [@Feminist\_Man](#): > > Thanks for your continued interest and support, Miss Dragon. > > So, you have been wearing P96 then? I’ll be interested to hear how it feels and works for you as a woman when we do compare notes. > > In addition to the 7.5 mg P96 that went into the successful mix I have ordered an amount of very low concentration P96 (0.75 mg) purely because I’m interested to see if it also gets a response. More anon… Yes, I’ve been wearing p96. I have met with great success in different situations, but I have also discovered its limits. In my journal, I give a heading to each post based on which product I am testing. I think I have 7 or so posts about p96. I’m also curious to hear what your experiences will be. ---
**Author:** ![Feminist\_Man](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/feminist_man/32/1583_2.png) [@Feminist\_Man](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Feminist_Man)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 10:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/64 "2014-05-24T22:53:29Z")
> [@tarnished](#): > > Thank you Feminist Man for sharing both your struggles and approaches. This is probably the best thread I have read here. > > Something that also really stuck out to me (chain read the entire thread this morn) is that lack of time might be playing a large role here as well. You both need “together time” with no interruptions and I don’t mean an hour or two a day. That lack of time over the years might have created an emotional and/or physical distance… who knows what kind of bad feelings can develop in the other partners head. Plan at least a four day vacation so you both can get away from it all. You would be amazed at how a long car ride is the perfect time to break through walls… Best of luck to you both and thanks for sharing! Hi tarnished and thanks for your advice and feedback. You probably now know more about my relationship than I do! Oh yes, time and space are important as I can feel our relationship slipping away, reversing back into the friend zone and possibly regressing even further which is not nice. Mones provide one route to a stronger relationship but I recognise they can only illuminate the path, not build it. I’m not sure whether I have mentioned it during this thread but the two of us have only been out just once in the past six and a half years. We are both bookish homebodies that is true, but my wife has also been very reluctant to leave the children with anyone else, even family. I could have pushed it harder but you know, six months becomes a year and eventually you forget that going out is even an option. As the youngest daughter goes to school full time this autumn this should get easier, at least during weekdays. Consider your suggestion sincerely noted! No real mones action to speak of at home this week, plague in the house along with a challenging time at work. Incidentally, am I making an inaccurate assumption that adversity usually overwhelms the subtlety of pheromones? Kind of like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs - that we don’t going to stop and smell the roses when we are stressed and ill? Incidentally, I did share my use of pheromones with somebody else for the first time in midweek. While I won’t make a habit of telling other people my little secret it felt strangely liberating this one time. I was wearing my own mix of TAC, TUTH, and P96 with a dash of IH and IS that afternoon. She said the mones had a real physical effect on her and this pleased me no end. It is one thing to read threads here or think we are having hits but when somebody you know corroborates this and is clearly, er, affected, it is a beautiful thing. If you are readng this, “hello H!” ---
**Author:** ![Feminist\_Man](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/feminist_man/32/1583_2.png) [@Feminist\_Man](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Feminist_Man)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 11:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/65 "2014-05-24T23:22:27Z")
> [@Miss\_Dragon](#): > > Yes, I’ve been wearing p96. I have met with great success in different situations, but I have also discovered its limits. In my journal, I give a heading to each post based on which product I am testing. I think I have 7 or so posts about p96. > > I’m also curious to hear what your experiences will be. Thanks Miss Dragon! I have now read your diary including the extensive P96 testing. You are much more thorough than me in your approach and recording which makes it a really interesting read. Regarding your P96 experiences, it does appear to be a complex molecule. My reading of your observations is that P96 amplifies sensitivity, both for you and others around you. As such it may share some characteristics with IH and A1 but perhaps with less of a bonding effect, rather promoting the vulnerability you alluded to. This would explain the complexity and variety of responses from others. Get a good response and this escalation of vulnerability could be a complete winner but go the other way or OD and people aren’t going to want to know you. But at 50mcg-70mcg, you’re packing some emotional power there Dragon! If the thoughts above are at all accurate I’m interested to use P96 in low doses as a tool to steer other products. My next move, however, will be to wear it solo at a similar high dose to you and see if I receive/give lots of hair-related comments! ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 7:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/66 "2014-07-14T19:16:27Z")
> [@Feminist\_Man](#): > > So…reflections on the past seven days. > > **At Work** > > Standard work form this week has been 2 drops A314 with 2 sprays Instant Gentleman to the jawline and neck respectively. It has given continued (and embedded?) personal confidence with clear respect from the female head of my organisation (42 years old) including increased eye contact (flirting?), asking my opinion on several decisions and a request I speak at a conference at short notice. > > Can’t be sure all this is due to the mones but her general demeanour has greater deference and respect. I’m guessing that intelligent, talented alpha women respond well to A314 because they are observant and sensitive to status signals as an indicator of the ability to get things done. > > But note to self, congruence is about more than convincing others the mone signal is consistent with me, it also means delivering the goods when others raise their expectations… > > **At Home** > > My standard home mix this week has been 2 drops A314 (jawline); 2 sprays Instant Gentleman (front of neck); 2 sprays Instant Honesty (back of neck) > > Not especially sexual effects on my wife (or even verbal) but I have never been held so tight at night as during this week. One night she was practically climbing into me, limpet-like, hour after hour. There was passion there for sure, something I enjoyed greatly 🙂 > > My wife has been slipping little respect clues from the A314 in there as well. Comments like ‘you do know the girls and me really do appreciate all you do for us’ have been common. Not remarkable in themselves but when said with total eye contact and a serious look that isn’t normally present I put it down to the mones. > > Interestingly the socials including Instant Honesty and Instant Shine have failed to bring out any sexy talk with my wife. Not even with P83. A shame because what would I do for her to give me a whisper of naughtiness. Again just a theory but for dirty talk I’m assuming there needs to be hidden dirty thoughts. So if my wife is truly as non-sexual as it seems there ain’t anything to be brought out by the trust/social mones. > > That doesn’t mean she isn’t passionate about me, just that this isn’t and possibly won’t ever be expressed in a sexual way. > > Anyway, the red flag in now flying and she doesn’t appear to be quite as responsive to mones in general. TAC and P74 are on their way so they will be in my sandpit next week, looking forward to that. > > **General Thought** > > A further word on congruence. It does seem to be true that A314 (and also possibly Instant Gentleman) profoundly shapes the wearer in a way that makes congruence easier. This manifests through a sharp self-awareness of when I’m contradicting the mone signals and an almost physical pull to bring my actions back in line with them. This is a strange feeling, subtle yet obvious at the same time. But a great tool for self-development to be sure 🙂 > > Oh, and still reading through the forums. Now back to page 668 of the Men’s Tricks and Tips forum and just starting on the journals. > > So many contributors to this forum have offered insights but special props to P51Mustang for writing such an interesting and detailed journal. Highly recommended. Thank you for the kind words ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Dragon](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/miss_dragon/32/866_2.png) [@Miss\_Dragon](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Miss_Dragon)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2014, 1:32am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/67 "2014-10-21T01:32:52Z")
Hey FM, any developments in the last 5 months? ---
**Author:** ![Volkshead](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/volkshead/32/5201_2.png) [@Volkshead](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Volkshead)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 12:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/68 "2014-10-23T12:16:07Z")
I admire your staying power. My ex wife, whilst not exactly the same, would struggle to switch from “mum” mode to “lover” mode. Whereas us guys can finish dealing with the kids and be immediately ready for action and ready to take advantage of a small window of time, a lot of women find it much harder to switch and this can take a lot of time, effort and relaxation to get to a point where they can even start to feel aroused. It’s unfortunate that your wife is reluctant to be separated from the kids at all, as this constitutes your best chance of getting her out of “mum” mode, so she can relax and let her level of arousal creep up on her. ---
**Author:** ![Feminist\_Man](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/feminist_man/32/1583_2.png) [@Feminist\_Man](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Feminist_Man)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 1:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/69 "2014-10-24T13:14:31Z")
Wise words, Volkshead, thank you. Your kind of thinking is precisely why patience is necessary, but I admit this is an extreme situation. Miss Dragon, the main change since the last post is that I told her about the mones. Came to conclusion that I had nothing to lose. She was intellectually intrigued but otherwise we didn’t talk about the mones at length. Since then I haven’t worn mones often except A1 to ease her monthly discomfort. As a result I haven’t been around these boards. Perhaps one last push with the mones up to Christmas… PostScript for now: so much here is predicated on her monthly cycle. For two weeks in the month she retreats entirely both physically and emotionally. The other two weeks she does enjoy affection even if it doesn’t lead to sex. That’s why I moved to A1 - I find it of some use during her tough weeks. If I have anything more to report I’ll post it here. Keep well, Miss Dragon! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Dragon](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/miss_dragon/32/866_2.png) [@Miss\_Dragon](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Miss_Dragon)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2014, 2:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/70 "2014-11-02T14:31:20Z")
> [@Miss\_Dragon](#): > > I just read this and it made me think of you. Since you have found the slow path to be completely frustrating, perhaps you might consider a radically different approach: dropping the bomb. There is the possibility that this might not work, but high doses of p83 have been reported as very effective on women that were resistant to common sexual peros. Here’s what I assume to be the first discovery on the hidden power of high-dose p83: > > [https://pheromonetalk.com/t/p83-mind-bending-sex/3686](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/p83-mind-bending-sex/3686) I’m so very sorry to have wasted your time and money. I just learned that the writer of that thread I had linked you to was not trustworthy. Apparently, he amused himself by writing joke reports, trying to have a laugh at the expense of others. We don’t know which of his reports were genuine and which were lies, so we have to assume that they are all untrustworthy. I apologize for having detoured you with p83. At least there were numerous reports from various sources confirming that p83 reduces inhibitions in females, so maybe it wasn’t a total waste. ---
**Author:** ![Feminist\_Man](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/feminist_man/32/1583_2.png) [@Feminist\_Man](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Feminist_Man)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2014, 6:38pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/71 "2014-11-02T18:38:20Z")
Oh Miss Dragon, no need to apologise. We all make decisions based simply on forum posts at our own risk. But thank you for the info anyway! ---
**Author:** ![monesmadedoit](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/monesmadedoit/32/325_2.png) [@monesmadedoit](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/monesmadedoit)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 1:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/72 "2014-11-04T01:20:17Z")
> [@Miss\_Dragon](#): > > I’m so very sorry to have wasted your time and money. I just learned that the writer of that thread I had linked you to was not trustworthy. Apparently, he amused himself by writing joke reports, trying to have a laugh at the expense of others. We don’t know which of his reports were genuine and which were lies, so we have to assume that they are all untrustworthy. I apologize for having detoured you with p83. At least there were numerous reports from various sources confirming that p83 reduces inhibitions in females, so maybe it wasn’t a total waste. [P83](https://a314.com/product/p83/) is sexual and disinhibiting. Maybe not nearly so as some may have “hoped” for in 2007 IMHO. But that is another story for another time. :o ---
**Author:** ![Unique](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/unique/32/935_2.png) [@Unique](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Unique)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2014, 2:50pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/73 "2014-11-17T14:50:24Z")
This may sound blunt and uncalibrated but I honestly don’t understand this relationship of yours. You have needs of intimacy and sex that haven’t been fulfilled for 6 years? How has this not gotten to the point of being a major issue to the point of the marriage falling apart? I mean there is being understanding and compromising in a time of your partners needs taking priority over your own but this is 6 years, not exactly a walk in the park. I am genuinely curious, your situation perplexes me. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Dragon](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/miss_dragon/32/866_2.png) [@Miss\_Dragon](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Miss_Dragon)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691/74 "2014-11-17T21:03:45Z")
Some people value the institute of marriage to a high degree. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-quest-for-congruence-diary-of-a-feminist-man/58691.md?page=3)