# The Sicarius Narratives: A Pherojournal **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Journals\ **Created:** [June 24, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-sicarius-narratives-a-pherojournal/39580 "2010-06-24T18:02:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sicariusdracus](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sicariusdracus/32/183_2.png) [@sicariusdracus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sicariusdracus)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-sicarius-narratives-a-pherojournal/39580/1 "2010-06-24T18:02:35Z")
Stay a while, and listen to the tales of a man who was [given a weapon, lost it,](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/that-little-blue-bottle/39497) and has returned to reclaim his prowess and weapons in the battle of the sexes. Herein lies the chronicling of Sicarius Dracus. 6/24 _"I am not_ someone who you would consider a 10, nor even a 6. I have always considered my mind to be my greatest asset; to the extent that I have long neglected my body – eating whatever, whenever, never exercising – and have put it in such shape, that it will take years to undo the damage. As of today, I weigh 336 pounds (161 kg, 25.43 stone). I’m also 6’5", so its visible, but not _disgusting_. I also have major depression and confidence problems (the state awarded me a year of free therapy for it :/). I am first and foremost a lover of words: of language and communication and the connecting of peoples with it. We cannot live without words. Words form our very thoughts and their concepts have deep foundations through us. It, then, should come as no surprise that I am a dual major Bachelor of Computer Science and English. Two very different but essentially the same things. My life is also a pretty big mess. Within the span of a month and a half, I have lost my fiancee of 6.5 years (she cheated on me with a married guy, and lost the butterflies for me, and has since become a raging nympho – 7 guys since our break); I have been hospitalized for extreme depression; I graduated and simultaneously lost my job (they wouldn’t raise my already crappy pay); on the 30th, I complete my lease and have no idea where I’m going to live; and I have shifted from cerebracentric to corpacentric. I’ve got a few thousand in the bank, as I don’t ever spend money, and I dress nicely. All in all, I’m a unlit star waiting for my chance to shine. And last night, my first mix caused me to burn brilliantly. 6/23 **Mix: _togo sprays_ 2x IS, 1x IOdbl, 2x TUTH** I found a girl on Craigslist. “Hey, anyone wanna go on a date tonight?” Her name is E(obviously not full). She’s a teacher, 30. Now, I must state for the record here, that I have been trying my DAMNEDEST to get hits before I even found Pheros. Nothing. 0/8 hits. It was so bad, that a girl got her food to go (yes, I paid) and promised to text me and never did. I tried to be nice and sweet and let them all walk over me. But today, I received my sprays (a day earlier than anticipated!), and my younger brother N(21) and his girl C(21) brought it over. (I had it sent to his address because my roommate/exFia is a BIIIIIITCCHHHH.) To test its effectiveness, I applied it in front of them and let them know what I was doing. My brother said it wouldn’t possibly work, but went along with the trial. I applied the mix, and while applying it, C said that they had had a fight in the car and she really didn’t think she could be turned on by it. After 5 minutes, N said he was sorry, just out of the blue (we were talking about Pokemon or something). She said she was sorry too, and we continued talking about random stuff like the weather. After about 15, I got a call from E. I gave them both hugs (intentionally both wanting the contact, and transferring the scent on my neck to them) and so left to get dressed. I came back 6 minutes later, and they were engaged in some heavy petting and kissing. In my mind, it worked. They ignored me while I stood there and felt a bit awkward, finally coughing, and they looked up and were EXTREMELY flushed. Yeah, I’m sure something happened. E came over, and I kicked out the writhing mass of sexuality. As I got into the car (we had never met), she told me I smelled fantastic. I had chosen only to wear my Axe underarm deodorant (Kilo), and did NOT wear the Chrome I usually do to dates (I figured the Neroli would get me through). I feel I need to take the time to state, the cologne smell from the sprays is INTOXICATING. It’s a warm non-scent scent, and totally arousing. We drove, and it took her all of 5 seconds of quiet restraint to tell me that she thought I had the cutest lips. Right off the bat. Never met me before, or seen a picture or anything. I thought to myself, “WTF have I gotten myself into?” I kept trying to keep the conversation PG, but every so often, she would let an IOI from NC17-to-XXX-land would slip. She DEVOURED the sushi I got, and 45 minutes after the Cafe had closed, they finally kicked us out. I googled for something to do (thinking a movie) and instead, she put her hand on my typing hand, and asked to go back to her place for a nightcap. Me: —OKAY!!!---- (Oh what, you’re telling me you wouldn’t go after a year of the worst fucking-a-dead-fish sex ever, and 2 months of futile temptation/desperation? You are a better man than I, sir. 😜 ) So we get to her house, and she shows me around, and I’m observing and commenting on how much I love the European travel style she’s got going on, and I sit on the couch, and she’s on me like a Velociraptor (which, is actually quite funny that I would think that) and she just kept saying how wonderful I smelled and how sexy I am (CONFIDENCE GET!). I eventually pry her off me just enough to grab some Chai Mints from ThinkGeek out of my pocket and offer her one. That, in turn, gave me enough time to sprint to the bathroom, where I was just reeling. I looked at my lipstick-smeared self, and simultaneously laughed and wanted to wash off the [pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) because I basically nuked the poor girl into a frenzy. Am I taking advantage of her unwillingly? Is it the same as getting her intoxicated? A million questions ran through my mind as I washed my face. I didn’t take off the pheromones. It kinda felt like I would betray my wingman if I did, y’know? So back out to the livingroom where she’s chipper and happy to be around me, and we talked forever, and we kissed quite often and she asked me to see her room and her bed, which I graciously declined, but promised I would get an intimate view of next time. Eventually we fell asleep on each other at 3am, and I had to get up and leave. I knew my mones would be worn off by then, but she was still smitten. We kissed some more, and embraced, and then I left for the night. I woke up to 2 texts this morning: “I don’t know what came over me last night, I was just really horny.” And 18 minutes later (I didn’t reply to the first) “I would love to see you again ASAP”. Pheromones: 1. ---
**Author:** ![sicariusdracus](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sicariusdracus/32/183_2.png) [@sicariusdracus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sicariusdracus)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-sicarius-narratives-a-pherojournal/39580/2 "2010-06-25T23:00:22Z")
6/24: _"I_ had my first bad experience with mones today. I had been planning on going out on a date with E again, when the exfiancee just showed up at my apartment (we have some stuff that needs to be gone through) I already had them on for about 10 minutes. **Mix: 3 IO, 2 IS, 4 TUTH.** It was bad. She first came and gave me a hug and seemed to be on the verge of crying the entire night. I really felt like she wanted to tell me something and she just wouldn’t. Her stomach felt sick, so she laid down on my bed and asked me to join her. I knew that the mones were probably really affecting her, and I immediately came upon the Ethics question: Do I use pheromones for evil? Or try and get her to go away? This time, and it was so easy, I chose the Dark Side. I laid down with her and she just cried and asked for me to rub her tummy. I did so, and it seemed to help relax her a bit. Eventually she fell asleep, and for no reason I understand I leaned in for a kiss. It was the most weak and pathetic “No” I’ve ever heard, but it was enough to stop me from continuing. I could have had her, and I knew that I was, too, feeling the mones work, because I had an epic boner. I got up and went to go do the tubs of stuff. She came out and we had the most open and sad argument of our entire relationship. One of the last things she said was “I love you” and then quickly “as a person, please understand what I’m saying.” But I knew that the pheromones were causing me to want her (I hadn’t before), so I kicked her out. I cried for at least half an hour afterwards. Took a shower and scrubbed myself hard, then went and passed out. When I woke up this afternoon, I could only explain that the feeling was due to the pheromones working against me (for me, technically), because I had didn’t have such strong feelings of love or desire as I did last night. ---
**Author:** ![sicariusdracus](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sicariusdracus/32/183_2.png) [@sicariusdracus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sicariusdracus)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2010, 11:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-sicarius-narratives-a-pherojournal/39580/3 "2010-06-25T23:06:31Z")
6/25 (afternoon): **Mix: 3 IS,3 IO,1 TUTH** I used this mix today while selling a ring. The two ladies where older than I by a few years (one was 40 and other 60?) and not only did they buy the ring, but we had a wonderful conversation about the beauty of diamonds, and had lunch together (their treat!). I seemed to receive special attention from the counter girl at the mall where we ate, because she kept offering me samples and ignoring my female companions who were nevermore than two feet away. This is a good social mix. I might take away the TUTH and an IO shot and make them [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/). I definitely felt very happy and engaged with the people I was conversing with, and they seemed to open up quickly. I’ve tried to sell the ring before, but it was no where near as “fish in a barrel” as today was. Tonight I’m going on a blind date. Definitely going to wash it off and then try maybe a 2 ammo, 2 IS, 1 IO, 2 TUTH mix. Or is that too broad? ---
**Author:** ![sicariusdracus](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sicariusdracus/32/183_2.png) [@sicariusdracus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sicariusdracus)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-sicarius-narratives-a-pherojournal/39580/4 "2010-06-26T19:15:29Z")
6/26: **Mix: 4 IO, 5 TUTH** I was definitely trying to send signals to this one girl who swims in the pool at my apartment complex. I didn’t intend to really get anything more than a “I pay for you date”, but what I got was pulled into the pool and made out with (with full clothes on), then we went into my place, and she jumped my bones there. I’ve noticed that the biggest IOI I receive is that I smell like heaven. I’m not even very cute! Hah. The funny thing is, is that this morning I was beating myself up about not being able to just have casual sex.Now, I really don’t wanna seem like I’m just sleeping around. I’ve had 4 partners, including this one in my 27 years. I’m catching up to lost time. ;D After, I went to get a pita sandwich from this local shop, and I noticed that my pheros have about a 10-6 foot range. Knowing I’m cheating, I weaseled my way into an ice cream cone, and then sat next to the only reasonably cute looking girls I could see. I sat behind one, and I could hear them whispering debating my cuteness. 6, 6, 7, but all of them thought I was effable. I turned around and smiled to them, and asked them to pass the pepper. They were all really red faced. I finished eating, cleaned up and then leaned over thier table to put the pepper away. Like they weren’t even there. I’m sure they all got that 4xTUTH just working on them hardcore. I laughed, and then walked out. Evil, evil me. As a side note, I’m beginning to feel like I’m evil. I constantly have secret doubts about using pheromones, because it’s just that easy to charm a girl with my silver tongue. I also can’t tell anyone about my exploits with it, which is why I’m keeping this journal. I should really change my username. I’m constantly here, and I’m sure if I get googled, it’ll show up. How would a woman react to the knowledge that I’m technically seducing her? On that same tangent, I’ve noticed that my ex is talking to me a lot more, and she’s constantly horny and she’ll hang out with me and then go on a sex spree (3 guys last night) with other guys. I don’t know what to do with her. I definitely am not going to wear AMMO or TUTH around her anymore, for fear of some kind of karmic justice. I don’t think anyone wants to do anything tonight, so it might just be a shower, 2 hours of warcraft, 1 hour of workout and then whatever else. This much TUTH definitely gets me aroused as well. ---
**Author:** ![sicariusdracus](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sicariusdracus/32/183_2.png) [@sicariusdracus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sicariusdracus)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2010, 9:04am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-sicarius-narratives-a-pherojournal/39580/5 "2010-06-27T09:04:53Z")
6/27: **Mix: 2 [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/), 2 IS, 4 Turn Up The Heat.** I fucked up royally tonight. I really should have pheromones taken away from me at this point. The problem is, I’m laughing and I don’t really feel remorse for what I did. So, I invited my exfiance over for pizza and wings and a movie. She had said some things that really pissed me off, and so I decided I would seduce her. I turned up the heat and kept moving and touching her gently. She laid down in bed and loosened her pants. I moved inbetween her legs. She was on me, we were kissing hard and she went for the neck and got the pheromones all into her face. I kept touching her lips after I had rubbed the underside of my wrist (where I also use it). She was ensnared, plain and simple. In my head I was laughing. But my body had other plans: when it came time for the show, I couldn’t get it up. Not at all. Nothing worked. I was as limp as an overcooked noodle. It was ridiculous. I had put all that time and effort into seducing the girl and my body rebelled against me. Quickly she got up and just left. I apologized for her not doing the trick, but I’m almost positive the mix shorted my sexual drive. Even now, trying various methods that usually work, nothing. She immediately called someone else and as I type this, she’s getting hers. Fate is a cruel mistress. I shouldn’t have messed with my ex like that, and now I’m paying the price. FML. ---
**Author:** ![theLaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b38774/32.png) [@theLaw](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/theLaw)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-sicarius-narratives-a-pherojournal/39580/6 "2010-06-27T13:27:52Z")
Pheromones are not going to solve any of your issues. You clearly have many areas of your life where you need to take control and make some long-overdue changes. I say this because, at best, you’re going to end up getting laid a few times; but judging by the drama that you’re inviting into your life, you’re headed for disaster. When you start accepting women who are high drama, just to get laid (lack of choice), you’re life can spin out of control in more ways than you could ever imagine. You need to start by working on yourself. This can be best described as “getting your shit together” (physically-emotionally-financially-etc). You also have to create an environment where you can have healthy relationships (casual or long-term) before you decide to leap into this field. Take some time to get yourself together, and then use that success to move forward into a fantastic social life. Good luck 🙂 resources : [Mark’s Daily Apple](http://www.marksdailyapple.com/) [Welcome to CrossFit: Forging Elite Fitness](http://www.crossfit.com/) [theREDmole Change your lifestyle.](http://www.theredmole.com/) > **[The Complete Idiot's Guide to Enhancing Your Social IQ: Korgeski Ph.D., Gregory...](https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Idiots-Guide-Enhancing-Social/dp/1592578160)** > > The Complete Idiot's Guide to Enhancing Your Social IQ \[Korgeski Ph.D., Gregory P.\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Enhancing Your Social IQ ---
**Author:** ![sicariusdracus](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/sicariusdracus/32/183_2.png) [@sicariusdracus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/sicariusdracus)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-sicarius-narratives-a-pherojournal/39580/7 "2010-06-27T14:59:59Z")
> [@theLaw](#): > > You clearly have many areas of your life where you need to take control and make some long-overdue changes. I thank you for the time you put into the post, but its not really helpful to say “get your shit together”. My shit is as together as it’ll ever get. I have problems, but who doesn’t? My life is changing, but who’s isn’t? I still have money in the bank and a place to stay and shit to eat. I’m not one of those people who you meet on “REAL WORLD” or “THE HILLS” or whatever, Television is just a brainwashing 30 second minute clipart showing of the hyperreal, the traumatic and the down right ridiculous. My use of pheromones got me into some shit last night with my ex. Of course it would. It was a 6.5 year relationship where one day she just didn’t love me anymore. Who can be emotionally prepared for that even a little? NO ONE. But last night also gave me something that I consider a great step: She called at 5, and asked if I was okay, and we ended up getting into a 2 hour conversation about the real truth of what’s going on between us. She didn’t sleep with anyone. She went home and cried, because in both of our minds, we are closing a chapter of a book. She told me that she didn’t want me, but that she was giving in because she still loved me as a person, and wanted to be loved too. She told me I was beautiful (something I had needed to hear from her, after all the insults) and that she was proud of me for trying as hard as I was to recuperate from what happened two months ago. She said she was confident that I would get someone 100x better, and she would be happy and a bit jealous. She also left the door open to us in the future. I AM trying to be the best person I can. Just as pheromones can only bring out traits that are already there, I can’t also just make stability appear out of nowhere. All I can say is stay tuned, because I promise you my journal will be interesting. ---
**Author:** ![hoplessly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/hoplessly/32/2319_2.png) [@hoplessly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/hoplessly)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/the-sicarius-narratives-a-pherojournal/39580/8 "2010-06-27T17:00:38Z")
I don’t think mones will change your ex’s mind. What is probably happening is a conflict of emotion. Possibly the same with you in regards to your performance. She has already made up her mind where you and she are in terms of relationship status. The mones are polarizing her wants in one direction and her mind is saying no no no. I look forward to your writings in your journal. As long as you keep working on yourself, you’re on the right path.