# Tigerlilly's Reports **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Journals\ **Created:** [March 2, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666 "2009-03-02T19:48:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 7:26am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/61 "2009-03-30T07:26:28Z")
Hey everyone, I’ve been absent from here for a while. Life has been very, very hectic for me recently. I am finally at a place where I can take a breath, but I suspect it’s merely the calm before the real storm hits… Professionally, life has been in a productive upheaval. I’ve been working for past two months non-stop on a full workshop/conference I was to host. This was my initial foray into my new geographical region, and a brand new break into a new market. I had a one day deal to wow ‘em and reel them in to my “business.” (I train and teach intelligence/counter terrorist “stuff” as a private consultant to all my old coworkers in the military & government.) Well, that day has come and gone. I believe I did fabulously. I’ve gotten tons of positive responses and wonderful feedback. I didn’t do as well as I knew I could have, but they still loved it, so I guess it’s all good! I have already received contacts for follow up individual training and more conference invites. The calm before the real storm… I wore a wonderful phero mix that day, which I will post all about in my next round of phero updates. Personally, life has also been very interesting. I went on a … weird first date. They guy was like Jekyll & Hyde. The first part of the evening was great – dinner, drinks, some dancing. He was a great conversationalist and had a great sense of humor. He was a geeky engineer. It was fun. THEN, he took me to a “house party”… that was Satan’s Fucking Lair. It was filled with drug users, sex, porn, strippers, coke, meth, pot, everything you think you see on a CSI episode – it was there. I walked in, saw what was happening, and walked out. It was terrible. That ended that date. I’ve also recently noticed I seem to be a freak magnet. This didn’t happen before I started using pheros. I also do NOT use pheros everyday. Is there some way this turns into a lasting/permanent effect on you? I seem to be attracting anything and everything these days! Young boys, older guys, freaks, fetishists, friends, strangers – I am getting hit on right and left, from strangers and from old friends. It’s weird. Of course, the only one who is not overtly hitting on me is “Him!” ☹ I’m still very interested in my “crush” from the beginning of the year. Some of you reading this were “victims” of my emotional roller coaster during this time. I was asked why I was so interested in this one, since I am never, never fixated on one guy. Oneitis doesn’t affect me. I generally don’t even like dating or men. (not because I don’t like men – I love men! But because it’s sort of a bother, a distraction, one I don’t have time for in the best of times, much less now!) But this one… there’s something very special about him, as an individual. He’s alive. He owns himself. Everything he is is expressed through all that he does. He exudes himself. He’s guarded. He’s arrogant. He’s introverted. He wears masks. He’s funny, hysterical, humorous, kind, caring, patient, thorough. He and I connected on a special level. We started as friends, then recognized that we both are the same. The same emotionally. The same internally. The same guarded, introspective, arrogant, yet \*alive \* personality. We connected at a visceral level. So I was thrown for a loop when our date was canceled by him due to his nervousness. That sent me into a nervous spiral of weird. I was so out of my element that I was very, very spastic. VERY spastic. It was silly. I didn’t recognize myself. But there was a very strong reaction to the potential loss of this important connection. Anyways, I eventually took all the advice that was directed at me and left it all alone. I focused on entirely different things, left it all alone and returned to my normal life. I worked on my workshop, met other people, went on dates (other than Satan’s Lair boy too!) got involved in new activities – just lived normally. And then I decided to drop back in and say hi to Him. He had told me that I could come say hi or call/email anytime, which I had not done at all. So I did – I dropped by. Talk about crazy! He was shocked to see me. It had been a while, with no contact. When he saw me, there was one long, looong, look, a slow “I can’t believe it” blink, and then a slow, happy, “Hi!” We started talking and fell right back into our old conversation patterns and fun. Since I had no expectations walking into this meeting, I had no nervousness either. I was able to just fully enjoy it. I had forgotten how much FUN he was, wrapped up in all my stress and anxiety over the loss of connection. Well – no loss of connection here. We were flirting, talking, laughing, enjoying each others company and energies. Being together. Being with someone who understands the world as we each see it. There was no expectations on the moment, no pressure, no talk of any future anything. We stayed together for several hours, enjoying each other, then left and headed home. He told me he was very happy that I stopped by and hoped I would come back. He was also very interested in being involved in a professional advising role to some of my workshop attendees who need medical authorities. (long story.) I told him I’d send more info. I was also wearing a lovely phero mix then too! Nothing overtly sexy. More socials. I sent the info. He read it. He was very, very interested. He wished me luck on my workshop. Wanted to be kept updated. I ended up tutoring a former student of his who was in my course too. (The bubble of dumb, for those that remember him!) He needed to retest and get nationally certified after our course, which he hasn’t done yet, but I have. I went back and tutored the kid at his office. The kid was getting tutoring from the associate instructor, and He was locked in his office, hard at work. I sneaked into the back and waited for the kid. They all saw me and said hello, said my name, etc. Not two minutes after they said Hi to me/said my name, guess who popped out of his office!? Him! He popped around the corner, saw me, said Hi, waved enthusiastically, smiled, asked how I was, etc. Then he went back to his office, leaving the door open. I stayed with the kid for a bit, then realized he was extending the tutoring for another hour with the associate instructor. So, I had some extra time to kill… I ended up going to His office, sitting down, and chatting again with him. It was like before, but better. Much more intimate, much more connected. We had always had some residual nervousness whenever we started talking to each other, but that dissipated within the first three minutes. This time there really wasn’t any. Just definite happiness and emotional connections. We couldn’t talk enough to each other. The depth of the experience was incredible. I was wearing a wonderful TAH based mix. He was eager to be with me and eager to be near me. When I walked outside for the better weather, he followed me, when he had no reason to. The whole afternoon was … magical. Not because we continued our flirting, but because the “flirting” thing was nonexistent. We seemed to be interacting as if we were already …. There. Already emotionally bonded. Already fully connected. It was … easy. It was comfortable. It was happy. It was natural. Again, no expectations. No pressure. Just comfort, ease, closeness. What \*it should \* feel like. His birthday is tomorrow. I had already planned on giving him a gift (wine). I’m still moving forward with that plan, and not changing anything. Something is there. I’ve known that since the beginning. Something hasn’t died. Something is propelling us forward through this weird togetherness crazy spiral. I am trusting this something. I am trusting that our expectation-less, emotional connections are building to an interpersonal overt connection. We’ll see. Until then… the calm before the storm is slowing fading away… ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 1:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/62 "2009-03-30T13:44:24Z")
im glad you are noticing the flame is still lit between you and TG. hope he has an epiphany before someone else comes along and makes you happy ☹ btw, i think satan’s lair guy has brothers in Tampa. _just sayin’._ > [@](#): > > I was wearing a wonderful TAH based mix. He was eager to be with me and eager to be near me. When I walked outside for the better weather, he followed me, when he had no reason to. The whole afternoon was … magical. Not because we continued our flirting, but because the “flirting” thing was nonexistent. We seemed to be interacting as if we were already …. There. Already emotionally bonded. Already fully connected. would you say the TAH mixed encouraged him? i mean, if he needed an impetus due to whatever emotional issue. in regard to the pheros attracting a medley of interesting participants- i noticed when using [pheromones](https://a314.com/shop/) that those attracted to me prior to use were better tailored (although not always) to my personally needs. you will attract a larger audience, and i figured out that its not because i am suddenly attractive when i wasnt before, but because pheros seem to eclipse the last-minute perception of “who is better for me” when before there was more discernment. so in effect, nature decided for us prior to use, and NOW we have to decide for us, because nature isnt weeding them out for us. i used to attract an variety based on those attracted naturally to what i am, and now i am attractive to those who would otherwise not even see me. double-edged sword. dammit. anyhoo, quit being a stranger to your own journal! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/63 "2009-03-30T15:27:26Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > im glad you are noticing the flame is still lit between you and TG. > > hope he has an epiphany before someone else comes along and makes you happy ☹ Seriously, I would only put out this much emotional energy for this one. 😉 I’m so freaking busy and overworked its silly. I really don’t need the energy going to anything other than work right now. But, with this one (now that it’s all sorted and no longer draining me away!), it’s actually augmenting me… if that’s makes sense… ? But I do not have the time/energy/patience to cultivate/find/stumble upon another person who could augment me right now. If this fizzles, then it will be a while before I find this experience again. > [@lor](#): > > btw, i think satan’s lair guy has brothers in Tampa. > _just sayin’._ Seriously, I hope to god not. Here’s an excerpt from an email I sent to (all) my coworkers after I escaped with my life: _After one guy does three lines of coke, he proceeds to tell me about how he’s a struggling actor, but this year is going to be his year, and he’s got a line on a gig, with a director… Blah blah blah. THEN he tells me that he’s “destined” to play two roles in his lifetime, and then he’ll die young, he “knows.” These two roles that he is destined to play? Jeffrey Dahmer and Jesus. He tells me this, and sniffs another line of coke. Okay… The coke head across from me wants to emulate and portray Jeffrey Dahmer, and that’s the pinnacle of his life. He wants to emotionally and psychologically understand a sociopath and portray that on film… And he just did more coke._ _So I could not leave fast enough, but that’s really not where the best/worst part of this is. As I’m sitting there, my black high heeled pump slightly drops off my heel of my foot. They’re slightly too big for me. My “date” (ex-date) exhales very sharply and grabs my knee. “Don’t do that.” What the…? “You need to warn me before you show your foot. That’s just too sexy…” Uhhh… Huh?!? Turns out this guy has a massive woman’s shoe and foot fetish. My high heels and pumps were turning him on all night long, and dropping my heel out was the equivalent of sex for him. He actually said: “Seeing the toes peek out from your pump is like cleavage to me.” The arch of my foot was equivalent to another body part…_ So as you can see, it was a disaster on multiple fronts! 😮 😃 But good for a laugh! > [@lor](#): > > would you say the TAH mixed encouraged him? > i mean, if he needed an impetus due to whatever emotional issue. I think the TAH did several things. It first brought out the softer, gentler, more congruent, happy with myself, life and the world Me. It was also the day after my huge conference, so I was tired but very happy. A little drained though. The TAH helped shape that into a soft contented happy. Which made me a better person to start with. Then, I fully believe that it effected him by tapping into his Man-ness. He’s an alpha’s alpha. Quiet, strong confidence, self made, entirely in command and control of himself and his presence. He commands respect from everyone around him, harkening back to our command/demand respect convo… He was clearly happy to see me by bounding out of his office when he heard I was there. (Seriously, I heard the chair wheels scrape backwards, he moved so fast. 🙂 ) That was not phero related. He was far from sniffing distance. If I had good silliage, then he was in my vapor trail, BUT, I don’t think so. After we started talking later on, he was warm, friendly, interactive, caring, and emotionally present. He was able to open up about his feelings as well - just in general, mind. His stress regarding his move, some frustrations with the day and students, etc. He also started to stand very close to me. We headed outside to enjoy the weather and he was _right_ there. He’s pretty careful and considerate of private space, normally. But probably most interesting were his eyes - focused on me. Not the body; me. I’m not sure if i can adequately describe it - protective is thrown around a lot when talking about TAH, but it wasn’t that. Wasn’t that really at all. Soft, yes. Happy. Comfortable. Trusting. With and added spark - it wasn’t a mix for a long-term friend. It was like a classic romance phero mix, where Claudio and Hero are perfect for each other, perfectly in love, perfectly content and confident in it. (Did anyone get that reference…?) I was wearing TAH (lots - the whole base of the mix) p86 p74 (high dose) light cops, uncovered to forearms I/Honesty x2 (light - he had a bad reaction to this before) All geared towards emotional bonding. 😉 > [@lor](#): > > in regard to the pheros attracting a medley of interesting participants- > > you will attract a larger audience, > and i figured out that its not because i am suddenly attractive when i wasnt before, > but because pheros seem to eclipse the last-minute perception of “who is better for me” > when before there was more discernment. > so in effect, > nature decided for us prior to use, > and NOW we have to decide for us, because nature isnt weeding them out for us. > > i used to attract an variety based on those attracted naturally to what i am, > and now i am attractive to those who would otherwise not even see me. > double-edged sword. Fuck. Just what I need. Thanks Lor! Good to see you again! Missed you tons! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/64 "2009-03-30T15:47:28Z")
> [@Tigerlilly](#): > > I was wearing TAH (lots - the whole base of the mix) > p86 > p74 (high dose) > light cops, uncovered to forearms > I/Honesty x2 (light - he had a bad reaction to this before) > > All geared towards emotional bonding. 😉 > > 🙂 i have used a similar mix. it freakin rocks. - > [@](#): > > _THEN he tells me that he’s “destined” to play two roles in his lifetime, and then he’ll die young, he “knows.” These two roles that he is destined to play? Jeffrey Dahmer and Jesus. He tells me this, and sniffs another line of coke. Okay… The coke head across from me wants to emulate and portray Jeffrey Dahmer, and that’s the pinnacle of his life. He wants to emotionally and psychologically understand a sociopath and portray that on film… And he just did more coke._ - caution. there are clones of this nutball. doesnt coke make everyone better??? believe you ME, i get exposed to enough cokeheads in the bar-biz, and if ever you are on the fence to being affiliated with anyone, coke usually decides that for you. do i have friends that do it? im sure. do they know if they sniffle _even once_ i will ask **outloud** if they have a cold? yep. because on a subconcious level i am repulsed and may not know why in the moment. i literally find myself repulsed without a known reason and find out after the fact in was a player in the interaction. > [@](#): > > _My high heels and pumps were turning him on all night long, and dropping my heel out was the equivalent of sex for him._ in our native american circle we have re-named you Sexyfoot. and BTW, who better to wield the double edged sword of phero-multiple-attraction than women who dont take shit from anyone? glad you walked away when you did. otherwise tolerating the evening might have been the equivelant of marraige to the freak. 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/65 "2009-03-30T16:36:25Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > in our native american circle we have re-named you Sexyfoot. > > glad you walked away when you did. > otherwise tolerating the evening might have been the equivelant of marraige to the freak. LOL! Ahaha! 😛 The hysterical bit is that my feet are actually gross. I march, wear combat boots, go out on long operations, am in the field… I never get pedicures. They’re pretty rough. So it’s really funny that _i_ managed to find a foot fetishist with my nasty-ass feet! It’s been great for a few laughs though. I told my good friend, who happens to be a Pastor, about the whole evening, and he wound it into his sermon on Sunday. So, I can now say that I had a first date that was so terrible that it ended up as a teaching example in my Pastor’s sermon. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mikotorocks714](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mikotorocks714/32/1509_2.png) [@mikotorocks714](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mikotorocks714)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/66 "2009-03-30T17:16:38Z")
Ha, ha so funny! Funny because, I’m one of those guys… _runs away blushing._ > [@Tigerlilly](#): > > LOL! Ahaha! 😛 > > The hysterical bit is that my feet are actually gross. I march, wear combat boots, go out on long operations, am in the field… I never get pedicures. They’re pretty rough. So it’s really funny that _i_ managed to find a foot fetishist with my nasty-ass feet! > > It’s been great for a few laughs though. I told my good friend, who happens to be a Pastor, about the whole evening, and he wound it into his sermon on Sunday. So, I can now say that I had a first date that was so terrible that it ended up as a teaching example in my Pastor’s sermon. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/67 "2009-03-30T17:18:38Z")
… you are kidding… … right?.. ---
**Author:** ![mikotorocks714](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mikotorocks714/32/1509_2.png) [@mikotorocks714](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mikotorocks714)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/68 "2009-03-30T17:22:14Z")
Ha, ha of course! These feet were _meant_ for walking, and that’s just what they do! > [@Tigerlilly](#): > > … you are kidding… > > … right?.. ---
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/69 "2009-03-30T17:25:22Z")
…wait, so you have nasty feet too (yeah!) or you’re a foot fetish-ist too (…ummm)… I’m confused on the issue. I need to be absolutely clear before I hoist my “FREAK” flag and erect a concertina wire fortress around my journal and shoe collection… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mikotorocks714](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mikotorocks714/32/1509_2.png) [@mikotorocks714](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mikotorocks714)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/70 "2009-03-30T17:34:40Z")
No, ha, ha I actually try my best to keep my feets looking good. Eh, I’m not a metrosexual but I try to keep good grooming habits. But I do think feet are yucky, and I would never let my self wear sandals! Blah! No bueno. I feel naked without socks ha, ha. When I was single I did have this thing where girls I would want to date had to have nicely groomed feet, not because I’m into that but because I already think feet are yucky so if they’re tore up it’ll make me lose interest in their sex appeal. Bad I know, even to the point that if a model was VERY pretty in the face but had ugly feet I would not find them attractive after seeing their not so pedicured feet. But then I got over it, and was like “this is stupid.” 🙄 > [@Tigerlilly](#): > > …wait, so you have nasty feet too (yeah!) or you’re a foot fetish-ist too (…ummm)… I’m confused on the issue. I need to be absolutely clear before I hoist my “FREAK” flag and erect a concertina wire fortress around my journal and shoe collection… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/71 "2009-03-30T18:13:21Z")
See, I expect that in a foot fetishist… but this guy was totally cool with my nasty ass feet. Freak of freaks, man. Feet are feet. They get you places. As long as they are not infected, pussy, yellow, or super gross - good to go! I have never seen a reason why they should be pink and sparkly. Plus, the upkeep on that is killer. Maybe other girls (who dont go tromping around in combat boots and hither and yon) can keep the pain unchipped. But me? Meh - it looks like a toenail polish target war zone after about two days. ---
**Author:** ![Xiphoid](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/xiphoid/32/1852_2.png) [@Xiphoid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Xiphoid)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/72 "2009-03-30T18:26:13Z")
> [@Tigerlilly](#): > > See, I expect that in a foot fetishist… but this guy was totally cool with my nasty ass feet. Freak of freaks, man. > > Feet are feet. They get you places. As long as they are not infected, pussy, yellow, or super gross - good to go! I have to say…the foot fetish thing is one of those weird fetishes I just don’t understand! It’s right up there with German Piss & P\*\*h porn 🙄 I don’t see what’s attractive about feet at all…I don’t mind feet either though as long as they don’t stink 😛 Luckily I doubt I’d ever get stalked like you though for my feet…I’ve broken both big toes and had surgery on them to fix the damage…but they still look kinda funny LOL I do sometimes put nailpolish on to “disguise” them but it’s a pretty pathetic attempt that does’t really work 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/73 "2009-03-30T18:36:04Z")
> [@Xiphoid](#): > > I have to say…the foot fetish thing is one of those weird fetishes I just don’t understand! It’s right up there with German Pi\*\* & P\*\*h porn 🙄 Yikes! For a second there you brought me back to the 2 Girls 1 Cup fiasco… My eyes! I cannot un-see it! Edit - AHAHAH! the “smart” computer is editing your post to say “German Primal Instinct & poop porn.” Yes… German phero wearing, pooping, pornogrpahic movies… mmmm… ---
**Author:** ![mikotorocks714](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/mikotorocks714/32/1509_2.png) [@mikotorocks714](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mikotorocks714)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/74 "2009-03-30T18:47:57Z")
Eek. I’ve seen worse on those sleepless mornings where I have had nothing else to do but dig the internet for viral stuff. > [@Tigerlilly](#): > > Yikes! For a second there you brought me back to the 2 Girls 1 Cup fiasco… My eyes! I cannot un-see it! ---
**Author:** ![Xiphoid](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/xiphoid/32/1852_2.png) [@Xiphoid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Xiphoid)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/75 "2009-03-30T18:48:19Z")
> [@Tigerlilly](#): > > Yikes! For a second there you brought me back to the 2 Girls 1 Cup fiasco… My eyes! I cannot un-see it! Damn! I missed that one! By the time I heard about it they had banned it and removed it from YouTube! All I saw was the reactions from people watching 😠 I think that one is one of those gross things you just have to have seen… Though judging from peoples reactions maybe it was a good thing that I didn’t see it 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/76 "2009-03-31T03:29:55Z")
So I just got out of the office and gave Him the wine b-day gift. Wore a slightly tweaked mix. Still unsure how it all worked out. Shock and Horror this afternoon as I discovered that I am OUT of p 74. Like, totally out. Nothing in the bottle. HOW did this happen??? Oh no!! There was one spray loaded in the gun, a half spray of mist, then a few death squirts. I opened the lid and stuck my pinky in there to scrape out the last of the liquid. What happened? Who stole my p74? It was not that low the last time I used it! Like, not empty. _sigh_ So that was a challenge. I upped the honesty a bit. I am hesitant to use straight betanol as this guy had a neg reaction the first time I used it. Logically, the circumstances are quite different now, but I am still gun shy. I added standard 50mcgs of p86, cops, and threw in p83 as the wildcard. 35mcgs. I was tweaking the deep, emotional bond from previous encounters and trying to add a forward momentum, impulsive, active element. I was concerned about the aggressive/irritability, but ultimately decided to go with it. The base of all this was high dose TAH. I topped it all off with medium dose TAF. The mix felt good. With TAF, the visual effects of the 86 are more prounounced. The airbrushing was still there, but there was also a sharpness and vividness to the world. I could see each leaf blowing in the wind. The 83 tapped into my witty, acerbic toungue a bit. It was more present than other time I wear TAH. It was also calming, pleasant. Centered. Serene. He was very surprised to see me. Not pleasantly surprised like last time though - confused surprised. That threw me off. He was very surprised about the gift. He did initiate conversation to keep me there during his whole dinner hour though. Kept asking questions and we fell back into our long running convos. It was fun, but more serious. There was an undertone, which I attributed to his shock. He stopped at one point, and managed to stutter out that the gift wasn’t “neccessary.” I told him of course it wasn’t neccessary. It was freely given. He didn’t want to open it in front of me, but settled on opening the card, after asking me if I wanted him to open it. It seemed like he was afraid there’d be some declaration in the card of love or somesuch. Nope, no such thing. 🙂 just a harmless card. At the end, he shook my hand, said thanks in his stuttering, nervous way, said it was much appreciated, and thanks for reminding him how old he was. He seemed wide-eyed that I knew how old he was - there is an age difference, one I suspected might be an issue for him, in terms of “why does she like me?” The final thanks and goodbye were quiet, stammered and very uncharacteristic of him. “I really appreciate it, thanks, really.” Then a looong, slow, head to toe look. 😮 definitely threw me for a loop, that one! The whole evening seemed to be like a gauntlet had been thrown down. I think I spooked him a bit, even though there was nothing more to the gift/card than a friendly overture. I work very hard to have no expectations or pressure on our time spent together. He commented on how I now live very close to him at one point. (Hmmm 🙂 ) at this point, I have no choice but to fall back again and see what happens. Waiting sucks. 🙂 I wonder what he’s thinking. This dance of ours is very interesting. Oh well. I am currently eating a burrito and drinking a beer on the beach, while typing on my Blackberry. Life is pretty good. 🙂 Back to work, though. The storm approaches… ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 4:57am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/77 "2009-03-31T04:57:31Z")
fooey. guess we all have to wait now 😠 give me his number. im going to get to the bottom of this wait 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 5:24am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/78 "2009-03-31T05:24:05Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > fooey. > guess we all have to wait now 😠 > > give me his number. > > im going to get to the bottom of this wait > > 😃 LOL 😃 I wish! ---
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/79 "2009-03-31T16:29:40Z")
So the work mix I wore to my huge make or break conference was this: IS/a (for the TAL) p74 - needed to harmonize and bring them into me; also to soften the TAL p86 - love it, don’t leave home without it CTTM - start & deepen convos p87 - Absolutely KEY cops to forearms topped with med dose TAF & splash of TAA Worked brill. 🙂 A note on the cops I use. I use the LS version from earlier this year/late last year, which many people complain about. I use either 6-8 drops for “normal” effect, or as I have been doing recently, I dump the EW into an old, clean to go and spritz 4-5 sprays on my forearms split. After drying, there is a very, very faint smell. I cover it _sometimes._ Lightly. it’s worked great. I’ve never had a comment about smell either. At this place, the heat wasn’t working, so in the morning, it was freezing cold, then in the afternoon, super super hot. I was sweating a bit in the afternoon, and the cops started to bloom. I noticed it definitely effected others, but no smell comments. The TAL really gave me the surge of confidence that I was looking for. I walked in already knowing I owned the place, so that went quite well. The p74 and TAA softened it though, and the CTTM encouraged them to approach me. There was a marked difference in using the IS/a with and without the softening steering socials. The p87 was KEY. I sprayed to sprays, 25mcg each just behind my ears. This phero has mellowed with my testing and is now a reliable anti-anxiety, calming, quieting, laser-focus, brain silencing, eerily logical, coldly unemotional phero. It is NOT like TAF in any way. I get nervous reporting on it, thinking someone will rush off to buy it to clean their house with, or motivate them to do paperwork… no. This allowed me to bypass all anxiety, nervousness, fear, doubt, worry - anything that could sabotage me. I had no emotions, in fact. I was able to present, teach, lecture, etc for hours. I could perform the social niceties (hand shaking, schmoozing) but didn’t have emotional responses to it. That was weird, but the “anti-anxiety” effects were so wonderful that I didn’t care. I was also able to read the audience verrry easily. I could pick up on every nuance of their interest, boredom, excitement, attentiveness, etc. I was able to on-the-spot tweak my presentation to keep them in perfect rapture at all times. The evaluations and feedback have confirmed this now - I was the absolute hit. I loved adding p87 to this. I actually keep it in my purse now as a go-to phero for day to day needs. It takes a LOT of time to figure out how to apply it… but once you can, it’s great. This mix had a lasting quality to it as well. I am getting feedback and lots of followup, with consistent rave reviews and personal touches. I think next time I’d like to use MX300/134 as the base for the mix though, or even better, straight TAL. I was struggling with the TAL output from the IS/a. I hate not knowing exactly what amounts I am using. What do we think is in MX134/300? TAL and -rone? Over all - verrry, verrry guuud. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666/80 "2009-03-31T16:33:41Z")
Yippeee!!! Update: (probably only for Lor, as she is the only one who might remember…) The Bubble of Dumb passed his national licensing certification yesterday! 🙂 I tutored the Bubble all fucking weekend. Him and I were talking last night about Bubble of Dumb (after the wine gift) and we were both crossing our fingers for his results. He was surprised I spent so much time tutoring the Bubble, but I actually like the Bubble. He grew on me. I found out at 6am this morning and promptly called the Bubble to wake his ass up and tell him. 😃 He of course did not wake up, but I sent a flurry of txts and vm’s, so he’ll know soon. I know he was really really nervous and not feeling confident after the test yesterday, so this is really excellent news. I am so very proud of him. 🙂 [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666.md?page=3) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/tigerlillys-reports/26666.md?page=5)