# Totally,Newbie **URL:** \ **Category:** Introductions - New Users, Say "Hello"!\ **Created:** [May 13, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290 "2011-05-13T05:49:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![onesgoodthing](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/onesgoodthing/32/1133_2.png) [@onesgoodthing](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/onesgoodthing)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/1 "2011-05-13T05:49:43Z")
Hello… I’m currently interested in this guy. Since we meet 3 yrs ago in college, I’ve always showed interest in him, and he as well but he just seems so indecisive as to what he really wants. I know I should wait patiently but I’m feeling the need to give him a helpful nudge into my direction…I was wondering which “to go products” in the female [pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/) I should purchase… What do you guys recommended I try because all of the pheromones looks really good but I’m not quite sure which one will help my situation…Would you say I should try: Turn up the heat, Instant shine,Instant sexiness b,Instant honesty,Instant openness along with Max Attraction Silk??? Please respond hes a true keeper… ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 10:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/2 "2011-05-13T10:27:03Z")
> [@onesgoodthing](#): > > Hello… > > I’m currently interested in this guy. Since we meet 3 yrs ago in college, I’ve always showed interest in him, and he as well but he just seems so indecisive as to what he really wants. I know I should wait patiently but I’m feeling the need to give him a helpful nudge into my direction…I was wondering which “to go products” in the female pheromones I should purchase… What do you guys recommended I try because all of the pheromones looks really good but I’m not quite sure which one will help my situation…Would you say I should try: Turn up the heat, Instant shine,Instant sexiness b,Instant honesty,Instant openness along with Max Attraction Silk??? Please respond hes a true keeper… First of all, I’m relatively new here myself. Secondly, I’ve never used Max Attraction. As for the others, I don’t know if a newbie could really handle TUTH? Have you read some of the guys journals? As newbies, there’s a **lot** of funny posts by the guys having acquired TUTH for the first time. 😃 I, _PERSONALLY_, think the instants are an awesome start. IH, IO, IS and IS/B. Read: _ **How To Find Your Sweet Spot** _ ([How to find your sweet spot...](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/how-to-find-your-sweet-spot/22146/1)) and: **Intro To Mones by Steve O** ([An Introduction to Mones: Names, Size, Strength, Use, Effects & Duration](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/an-introduction-to-mones-names-size-strength-use-effects-length-of/43003)) Keep it simple and do one at a time. Especially include the guy in the test process! So, while you’re finding your sweet spot, you can also see the effects they’re having on him. 😉 When you know the effect they have individually, then you can start experimenting with combo’s. On both of you! 😃 But seriously, in the beginning you gotta boil water before you can be gourmet cook. 😃 In MY humble opinion. 😮 ---
**Author:** ![onesgoodthing](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/onesgoodthing/32/1133_2.png) [@onesgoodthing](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/onesgoodthing)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/3 "2011-05-13T13:44:59Z")
Thank you so much Astrea…I found the links very informative…If you don’t mind me asking, what were your results with instant openness, instant shine and [Instant Sexiness](https://phera.com/product/instant-sexiness/) when it came to using them on men, and how the women responded when you received a lot of attention? Did women seem more talkative or did they seem to be less sociable because I’m looking for something that will be sweet for him, but not repel my female friends? ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 3:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/4 "2011-05-13T15:36:01Z")
> [@onesgoodthing](#): > > Hello… > > I’m currently interested in this guy. Since we meet 3 yrs ago in college, I’ve always showed interest in him, and he as well but he just seems so indecisive as to what he really wants. I know I should wait patiently but I’m feeling the need to give him a helpful nudge into my direction…I was wondering which “to go products” in the female pheromones I should purchase… What do you guys recommended I try because all of the pheromones looks really good but I’m not quite sure which one will help my situation…Would you say I should try: Turn up the heat, Instant shine,Instant sexiness b,Instant honesty,Instant openness along with Max Attraction Silk??? Please respond hes a true keeper… I wouldn’t go with TUTH because that is a guy product. You really only have one option with the Instant Sexiness b so that I would definitely go with, use some [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) as well to deepen any connection you may have. Being in college most guys are indecisive about these things, they’re more inclined to go out and party and go through life experiences after the fact. Although pheromones can help you with keeping the attraction and deepening the connection, they do not work if the person is vehemently against an idea. Pheromones do work in all aspects but I just want to tell you that just because they work that doesn’t mean that it would work 100% in this specific situation I’d also start a Journal and chronicle your uses and essentially have a good baseline of how these products work with you. There are also plenty of people here who can help you out when your pusuing your guy. Good luck ---
**Author:** ![onesgoodthing](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/onesgoodthing/32/1133_2.png) [@onesgoodthing](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/onesgoodthing)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 4:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/5 "2011-05-13T16:06:40Z")
> [@P51Mustang](#): > > I wouldn’t go with TUTH because that is a guy product. You really only have one option with the Instant Sexiness b so that I would definitely go with, use some Instant Honesty as well to deepen any connection you may have. > > Being in college most guys are indecisive about these things, they’re more inclined to go out and party and go through life experiences after the fact. Although pheromones can help you with keeping the attraction and deepening the connection, they do not work if the person is vehemently against an idea. Pheromones do work in all aspects but I just want to tell you that just because they work that doesn’t mean that it would work 100% in this specific situation I’d also start a Journal and chronicle your uses and essentially have a good baseline of how these products work with you. > > There are also plenty of people here who can help you out when your pusuing your guy. > > Good luck Thanks P51Mustang I guess the problem is that hes in the transitional stage, he graduated from college last year…I was hoping that he would just move it along faster…Its as though we are best friends, chatting all the time, he cooks dinner for me and I cook dinner for him…He does my laundry and I do his as well, and ironing on some occasions 😃…maybe it will take some more time, I’m just ready to be taken out of the friends box and put into the “I want to be with her” box, Thank you so much for the information… 😃 It feels good to know that their are good people that will help me get into the “I want to be with her” box 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 7:51am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/6 "2011-05-14T07:51:01Z")
> [@onesgoodthing](#): > > Thank you so much Astrea…I found the links very informative…If you don’t mind me asking, what were your results with instant openness, instant shine and Instant Sexiness when it came to using them on men, and how the women responded when you received a lot of attention? Did women seem more talkative or did they seem to be less sociable because I’m looking for something that will be sweet for him, but not repel my female friends? It’s in my journal which is called Just arrived. I,\* PERSONALL\*Y, found it great. First time in mixed company, I had the boys performing all sorts of silly swagger behaviours but the females were friendly too, but deferring to me and seemingly wanting to please me. It was quite the show. 😉 So, find out what the doses do for you. For instance: I, _PERSONALLY, found 2 sprays of IS/B produced a sort of “fan club” effect. From both males and females. The males all sunny smiles, compliments and glowing at me. It was SO weird, because the fems were backing them up in a quieter way, but still sunny smiles and glowy compliments. :o Never had a mass reaction like that. If I hadn’t been feeling so Alpha, it would have been intimidating. Think about that for a red hot minit, you’ll get it. I, PERSONALLY, found 3 sprays IS/B produced the mating displays and I got hit on a couple of times and asked out. I, PERSONALLY, had **no reaction from anyone** at all and a couple of outright refusal to acknowledge my presence_ with 4 sprays of IS/B.\*\* To me, it sort of looked like what is described on the forum, as ghosting. I kinda disappeared while standing in the daylight. 😮 THAT was creepy! I’d like to experiment more with higher doses, a: to see if more tips the balance back if I team it up with a couple of the lighter things. But with that reaction at 4; I’m loathe to waste the mones until there’s a healthier budget. ☹ For me, PERSONALLY, 2 sprays of IH produced some really interesting insights into the people around me - and myself! The first time I used it, I forgot the intention of the mone, and sprayed on my chest. The result being that only my diligence kept me from blurting out all sorts of ridiculous things. 😮 Now I only wear IH on my head or the BACK of my neck. 😃 This will end up being a book if I continue, you can read my journal. That way you get my reaction at the time to the situation at hand. ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 8:01am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/7 "2011-05-14T08:01:51Z")
> [@onesgoodthing](#): > > Thanks P51Mustang > I guess the problem is that hes in the transitional stage, he graduated from college last year…I was hoping that he would just move it along faster…Its as though we are best friends, chatting all the time, he cooks dinner for me and I cook dinner for him…He does my laundry and I do his as well, and ironing on some occasions 😃…maybe it will take some more time, I’m just ready to be taken out of the friends box and put into the “I want to be with her” box, Thank you so much for the information… 😃 It feels good to know that their are good people that will help me get into the “I want to be with her” box 🙂 OMG!!! Why for the love of all things sexy, are you doing his laundry??!!! 😮😮 You’re not in the “friend” box, you’re in the “good housekeeper / auntie” box! He truly has all the benefits without contribution in your relationship. Why would he think of you as a gf? You’re doing everything for him, without him having to offer the tiniest effort in anyway. Why would he want to work at it - when you’re doing all there is to do (minus the obvious) in a nice stale comfort zone? omg Still need an EEK! face for the for the Post Title Icons. ---
**Author:** ![onesgoodthing](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/onesgoodthing/32/1133_2.png) [@onesgoodthing](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/onesgoodthing)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/8 "2011-05-14T19:26:32Z")
I guess Im the push over and I really want to reverse everything I put up with…and I want him to either have him make me his girlfriend of Im so done! The roles that we are playing are “hous” roles and all of it for nothing > [@Astrea](#): > > OMG!!! Why for the love of all things sexy, are you doing his laundry??!!! 😮😮 You’re not in the “friend” box, you’re in the “good housekeeper / auntie” box! He truly has all the benefits with out contribution in your relationship. Why would he think of you as a gf? You’re doing everything for him, without him having to offer the tiniest effort in anyway. Why would he want to work at it - when you’re doing all there is to do (minus the obvious) in a nice stale comfort zone? omg > > Still need an EEK! face for the for the Post Title Icons. ---
**Author:** ![onesgoodthing](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/onesgoodthing/32/1133_2.png) [@onesgoodthing](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/onesgoodthing)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 7:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/9 "2011-05-14T19:30:53Z")
sorry Im trying to type fast at work…and I noticed alot of spelling errors ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 10:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/10 "2011-05-14T22:02:30Z")
> [@Astrea](#): > > OMG!!! Why for the love of all things sexy, are you doing his laundry??!!! 😮😮 You’re not in the “friend” box, you’re in the “good housekeeper / auntie” box! He truly has all the benefits with out contribution in your relationship. Why would he think of you as a gf? You’re doing everything for him, without him having to offer the tiniest effort in anyway. Why would he want to work at it - when you’re doing all there is to do (minus the obvious) in a nice stale comfort zone? omg > > Still need an EEK! face for the for the Post Title Icons. Once again Astrea - I couldn’t have said it any better myself! ---
**Author:** ![onesgoodthing](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/onesgoodthing/32/1133_2.png) [@onesgoodthing](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/onesgoodthing)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/11 "2011-05-15T19:03:29Z")
Astrea …I’m 25 yrs old, only had 3 boyfriends (new to dating) and I know that I have self esteem issues (all guys have to do is smile and be nice, and I will help them with anything) and I appreciate your feedback…I’m working on fixing it…I shared this tread not to be “thought of as that stupid girl who does all this crap and gets nothing in return” but because I am really trying to boost my self esteem and get help establishing what I will put up with in all my relationships! Everyone runs into a few brick walls in their life and for me this wall has always been “doing anything for the people I love, even if they aren’t in it 110%”…I realize that everything I am doing in my current relationships and past relationships are big “NO, NOs” and to the folks reading or listening too (mobocaster) but I am a firm believer that all of these mistakes (aka brick walls) is encouraging me to not be so giving but ultimately to resign as being in the “good housekeeper / auntie” box!". I would love to have my own personal “HITCH” (like the movie) as I know it would be easier if someone was coaching me through each step…but at this point in time the best part about this lesson is that I have learned, and am ready to get out of that “good housekeeper / auntie” box! I welcome you to share any personal advice you may want to share with me, as I am new to setting boundaries, and casual dating as well… ---
**Author:** ![Kelsey](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/kelsey/32/8468_2.png) [@Kelsey](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Kelsey)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/12 "2011-05-16T19:31:08Z")
Welcome to pherotalk One! Like I mentioned in your thread in the female section am not too familiar on how it works when a man puts a girl in the friend zone but it seems it is the same. I suggest you use the products to boast your confidence and enhance social awareness. I also suggest you either speak to our [pheromone](https://a314.com/shop/) expert Steve or the guys about your situation because I definitely feel you are being strung along. I actually was in a similar situation with my first crush when I was 13… Keep us updated and try your best to get yourself un accustom to this dude, less calls , visits and certainly no more chores. **Your gc was issued! 😉** ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2011, 7:14am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/13 "2011-05-17T07:14:20Z")
> [@onesgoodthing](#): > > Astrea …I’m 25 yrs old, only had 3 boyfriends (new to dating) and I know that I have self esteem issues (all guys have to do is smile and be nice, and I will help them with anything) and I appreciate your feedback…I’m working on fixing it…I shared this tread not to be **“thought of as that stupid girl who does all this crap and gets nothing in return”** but because I am really trying to boost my self esteem and get help establishing what I will put up with in all my relationships! Everyone runs into a few brick walls in their life and for me this wall has always been “doing anything for the people I love, even if they aren’t in it 110%”…I realize that everything I am doing in my current relationships and past relationships are big “NO, NOs” and to the folks reading or listening too (mobocaster) but I am a firm believer that all of these mistakes (aka brick walls) is encouraging me to not be so giving but ultimately to resign as being in the “good housekeeper / auntie” box!". I would love to have my own personal “HITCH” (like the movie) as I know it would be easier if someone was coaching me through each step…but at this point in time the best part about this lesson is that I have learned, and am ready to get out of that “good housekeeper / auntie” box! I welcome you to share any personal advice you may want to share with me, as I am new to setting boundaries, and casual dating as well… **Oh HEY!!! No-one thinks you’re stupid!!!** We all do those kinds of things until we learn that they don’t actually do the situation any good. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the idiotic things I’ve done in/for a relationship! But. I have done a load of washing for a boyfriend I was living with; when he threw his workshirt at me one morning and said: “Iron that” and went to do something else; I scrunched it into a ball, twisted it up some and when it was truly a nightmare to iron, left it on the board. When the shithead reappeared; I told him that I was not his maid and if he ever barked an order like that at me ever again; I’d throw his shit in the garbage. 😠 When you’re in the situation; it’s always a more narrow perspective. A friend and I developed the “Bold and Beautiful Test”. We used to hang out and watch the soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful. Lizzie was going through some major drama with her fiance; who turned out to have a good deal of confusion about his sexual orientation. He ended up leaving her for his ‘good friend’. 😮 So we developed the Bold and Beautiful Test. It works like this: If you were watching a soap; and the characters in it were acting out your current situation, _ **how loudly would you be heckling? What would you be yelling at the tv? Would you denounce it as being unrealistic? How cranky would you be at the fem for being sucked in?** _ 😃 How impatient would you be with the scriptwriters? The point being, to detach to try to get a third party view of what you’re doing. It helped us. Maybe it can help you. But as far as getting yourself out of the less desirable boxes; talk to the guys. Most of these guys are cool and will tell you what they think without giving any bullshit about it. We live and hopefully, learn. ‘No’ is one of the hardest words to learn to say with conviction. Don’t disparage yourself - there’s plenty out there that will do it for you; don’t give them any ammo. Funny, I wonder if the ammo will come up with the mone highlighting when I post. 😃 **When you read thru my posts, you will quickly see that I’m the first to say I know f** k all about relationships!!! 😮 I’m not good at them and I’m always getting in trouble for being too blunt and straightforward and not playing the ‘game’. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![onesgoodthing](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/onesgoodthing/32/1133_2.png) [@onesgoodthing](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/onesgoodthing)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2011, 12:52pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/14 "2011-05-17T12:52:09Z")
thanks for sharing this with me 🙂 I like the bold and the beautiful relationship analysis idea…my mom always said never invest your eggs in one basket…I’m finding this advice useful, afterall their are plenty of fish in the sea and at the end of the day there is someone out there for me I just need to move any and all place holders out of the way so true interest can see me (lol Im starting to feel confident and haven’t gotten my mones yet) oh and yeah lol ammo did light up all nice and blue hahaha ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 6:28am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/15 "2011-05-18T06:28:57Z")
> [@onesgoodthing](#): > > thanks for sharing this with me 🙂 I like the bold and the beautiful **relationship analysis idea** …my mom always said never invest your eggs in one basket…I’m finding this advice useful, afterall their are plenty of fish in the sea and at the end of the day there is someone out there for me I just need to move any and all place holders out of the way so true interest can see me (lol Im starting to feel confident and haven’t gotten my mones yet) oh and yeah lol ammo did light up all nice and blue hahaha We used this for any high drama situation. I don’t like drama, melodrama or bad soap opera. My limit is hyperbole and mega exaggeration. 😃 First law of physics 2 physical objects cannot occupy the same physical space at the same time. I’m not saying give up on him - someone constitutes the tiny percentages of exception; why not you? Talk to the guys about getting yourself re-packaged 😉 with so many cool guys here, you should get a definitive answer as to your statistical probability of success. My question is: Do you want someone you have to convince you’re worth it? Just a question and feel free to ignore it, dismiss it or whatever else you feel like. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![onesgoodthing](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/onesgoodthing/32/1133_2.png) [@onesgoodthing](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/onesgoodthing)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 1:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/16 "2011-05-18T13:28:43Z")
I truly want a guy to work hard to get.my attention! I’m not only going to use these when around him but with other males as well because at the end of the day all I want is SOMEONE whose like " that girl right there she gots it going on what’s her name? Let me put her on my pedal stool ---
**Author:** ![Astrea](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/astrea/32/1928_2.png) [@Astrea](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Astrea)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/totally-newbie/50290/17 "2011-05-18T22:36:33Z")
> [@onesgoodthing](#): > > I truly want a guy to work hard to get.my attention! I’m not only going to use these when around him but with other males as well because at the end of the day all I want is SOMEONE whose like " that girl right there she gots it going on what’s her name? Let me put her on my **pedal stool** Pedestal, hon. 😃 Please keep in mind, that a good relationship is based on mutual appreciation. If he’s got you on a pedestal, you need to have him on one, too. It’s also a ridiculously precarious position to be in. Everyone falls off those things sooner or later; generally, just for being **human.** Sometimes the resentment resulting in your falling off the pedestal is too much for the relationship to withstand. How do you communicate effectively with one person held high above the rest? Do you just want to be looked at or do you want a connection? Pedestals are for trophies and statues. The right someone will have you feeling elevated without unrealistic expectation. That goes for you, too. Take off the rose colored glasses with the stars on them, decide what qualities you appreciate most in male humans and have fun on your treasure hunt. BTW trophies and statues don’t eat, have bodily functions, talk, have bad hair days or bad days in general. They certainly don’t do laundry. 😃