# Trying to influence a co-worker (professional reasons) **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [September 18, 2010, 5:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847 "2010-09-18T05:29:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![killersharks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@killersharks](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/killersharks)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 5:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/1 "2010-09-18T05:29:42Z")
Hi all, I have a female co-worker who wants/thinks about leaving the workplace. I don’t want her to leave because she’s been a really valuable team member. We will talk on Monday about her situation and I want to convince/influence her not to leave. I want to project myself as someone who can be really trusted at the very least. About me, I’m 28 (Asian). She’s 34 (Latina). I have A314, [MX297](https://a314.com/product/mx297/), IG, IH, IO, AMMO and TUTH. Please advice on combinations and suggested amounts. I’d assume it’s best to leave AMMO and TUTH out of this. Now I’m off to practice my speech for possible scenarios/responses… ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 5:48am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/2 "2010-09-18T05:48:17Z")
I think IG+[MX297](https://a314.com/product/mx297/) would convey a good protective vibe that might make her feel secure thinking you’re “on her side”. IH is an absolute must. If you had it, or can get it quick I;d suggest some instant shine as well for general positive feelings. ---
**Author:** ![killersharks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@killersharks](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/killersharks)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 5:58am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/3 "2010-09-18T05:58:41Z")
> [@RADMAN513](#): > > I think IG+MX297 would convey a good protective vibe that might make her feel secure thinking you’re “on her side”. IH is an absolute must. If you had it, or can get it quick I;d suggest some instant shine as well for general positive feelings. Appreciate the response. I ran out of IS and it’s too late for Monday. Unless I can pop the bottle open and squeeze the remaining drops, that’s the best I can do. Any suggestions on how much IG and [MX297](https://a314.com/product/mx297/) to use? I can squeeze out 2-5 sprays of MX297, it’s almost out and I’m willing to use it for this situation. I gotta go all out on this one. ---
**Author:** ![killersharks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@killersharks](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/killersharks)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 2:29am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/4 "2010-09-19T02:29:28Z")
Bump. Anyone else? Please? ---
**Author:** ![Olfact\_Amorous](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/olfact_amorous/32/434_2.png) [@Olfact\_Amorous](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Olfact_Amorous)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 2:57am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/5 "2010-09-19T02:57:40Z")
I think Radman said enough already. Since you already know her pretty well on a professional level IH would help her put a vote of confidence in you. I think A314 and IH is a great combo to foster good communication and a baseline aura as to receive counsel/ guidance from you as well. But with that said I think as you already probably know its more important to get the root of her problem and see what got the ball rolling in this direction. Theres only so much reasoning you can do but if its a problem that you may deem workable and helpful from your end or perhaps the others maybe theres some agreement you can come to. Of course be gentle about the subject because who knows how sensitive the situation or the subject is and she may just not want to start a ruckus. Just be emphatic and understanding while you reason with her after coaxing the apparent concerns or dilemnas out of her. Wish you lots of luck 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MVKBUGATTI](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@MVKBUGATTI](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/MVKBUGATTI)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/6 "2010-09-19T03:05:03Z")
> [@killersharks](#): > > Bump. > Anyone else? Please? You should consider either A314 or [Instant Gentleman](https://a314.com/product/gentleman/) depending on your experience with the two. And Yes. Definitely use Instant Honesty so that the association feeling will be one of comfort and commonality. Instant Shine is one of the best feel good products around and we want to have sense of positivity being projected. It should be among the stable of product to have. Final thought, I wondered if she has been pursing employment elsewhere? That’s something to factor in. If you looking for that of added feeling personal confidence than there’s A314; however, if you’re desiring to appear a bit more friendlier then its’ Instant Gentleman. Suggestions: A314 ([A314 Classic Edition – Trust & Respect Pheromone for Men - Alpha A314](https://a314.com/product/a314-classic/)), 1x MX297, 2x [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) , 2x Shine. or IG, 1x MX297, 2x Instant Honesty ([Instant Honesty – Deep Relational Communication Pheromone – You Won’t Believe Your Ears! - Alpha A314](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/)) , 2x Shine. **MVKBUGATTI** ---
**Author:** ![killersharks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@killersharks](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/killersharks)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/7 "2010-09-19T03:31:31Z")
> [@MVKBUGATTI](#): > > You should consider either A314 or Instant Gentleman depending on your experience with the two. And Yes. Definitely use Instant Honesty so that the association feeling will be one of comfort and commonality. > > Instant Shine is one of the best feel good products around and we want to have sense of positivity being projected. It should be among the stable of product to have. > > Final thought, I wondered if she has been pursing employment elsewhere? That’s something to factor in. If you looking for that of added feeling personal confidence than there’s A314; however, if you’re desiring to appear a bit more friendlier then its’ Instant Gentleman. > > Suggestions: > > A314 ([A314 Classic Edition – Trust & Respect Pheromone for Men - Alpha A314](https://a314.com/product/a314-classic/)), 1x MX297, 2x [Instant Honesty](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/) , 2x Shine. > or > IG, 1x MX297, 2x Instant Honesty ([Instant Honesty – Deep Relational Communication Pheromone – You Won’t Believe Your Ears! - Alpha A314](https://a314.com/product/instant-honesty/)) , 2x Shine. > > **MVKBUGATTI** Well, I just got A314 and IG this week. Didn’t know they would be ‘put to the test’ this Monday. How much of IG or A314 should I apply? Let me remind you that I haven’t done much testing with these. Does A314 give off a ‘intimidating’ presence? As for her seeking employment elsewhere, she is, but not actively. She wants to leave even she hasn’t found anything yet. I’m thinking, I could tell her to stay until she finds or has been offered something else. ---
**Author:** ![Warren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/97f17d/32.png) [@Warren](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Warren)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 6:31am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/8 "2010-09-19T06:31:46Z")
The newer versions of A314 are much, much, much less intimidating. I generally use three drops. In this situation, three or four sprays of IH probably isn’t too much. Given that you are Asian and she is Latina, a half spray of TUTH might increase your credibility / authority. ---
**Author:** ![JAYCEE1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JAYCEE1](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/JAYCEE1)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 11:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/9 "2010-09-19T11:44:28Z")
A314 + IH + TUTH I’d go heavy with the IH. Put some on the backs of your hands too. On Monday, go with some small talk up front so that she gets dosed with your mones before you talk business. Then use open-ended questions and get her to talk about how she FEELS. She may leave no matter what happens on Monday or what mones you wear. She also may have no real intention of leaving, especially if she knows what a valuable team member she is. All you can do is all you can do. ---
**Author:** ![tacitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tacitus)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 3:34pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/10 "2010-09-19T15:34:29Z")
> [@killersharks](#): > > Hi all, > > I have a female co-worker who wants/thinks about leaving the workplace. I don’t want her to leave because she’s been a really valuable team member. We will talk on Monday about her situation and I want to convince/influence her not to leave. I want to project myself as someone who can be really trusted at the very least. Prob. good NLP skills, language patterns, etc. would be more useful in this situation… there’s a great book by **Robert Dilts** called _ **Slight of Mouth** _ that is filled with great conversation patterns… the important thing is to get a sense of what her criteria are for the job she wants… and why she believes that another place satisfies those criteria better than what you have to offer. Do you have any flexibility with management to adjust her situation to meet her criteria better ? If you can’t match what she needs, or feels that she needs, [Pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) aren’t going to make her reality any different… ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/11 "2010-09-19T15:45:56Z")
I don’t know if TuTH is a good idea. I think the value of A314 and the connection of IH might be fine but throwing in a strong sexual signal like TuTH could do one of two things. Either A.) create a very awkward sexual tension that she’s not comfortable with convincing her to leave anyway. Or B.) She decides to stay. but for reasons you may not be prepared to deal with. Ultimately, what Tacitus said is true though. If she’s leaving due to something bad about the work place, you need to find a way to fix that problem in order for anything to be of any effect. ---
**Author:** ![Warren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/97f17d/32.png) [@Warren](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Warren)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 12:43am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/12 "2010-09-20T00:43:43Z")
> [@RADMAN513](#): > > I don’t know if TuTH is a good idea. I think the value of A314 and the connection of IH might be fine but throwing in a strong sexual signal like TuTH … Agreed. No strong sexual signal, just half a spray for substance. Time might be short for the Dilts book this time, but if you’re familiar with the reframing paradigm you might try to walk her through it. What creative solutions are there for the problems at the current job? What are the problems with the creative solutions and how can the solutions be refined… ---
**Author:** ![killersharks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@killersharks](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/killersharks)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/13 "2010-09-20T02:10:28Z")
I appreciate all the comments. Definitely going in heavy with IH tomorrow. Maybe 4-5 sprays just to be sure not to OD on it. I’m still not sure whether to use either A314 or [MX297](https://a314.com/product/mx297/) with IG. I’ll do a quick crash course reading on Dilts ---
**Author:** ![killersharks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@killersharks](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/killersharks)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/14 "2010-09-21T18:04:45Z")
So here’s how it went. Steve advised me yesterday over the phone to go with 3 sprays of IG, 1 spray of [MX297](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/mx297/), 3 sprays of IH and 1 spray of IO. It didn’t turn out the way I wanted to. She’s leaving. We both sat down and talked first about last week. I’d say we both had a deep and intimate talk. There were no hesitations and holding back on her part. We discussed her grievances and what could we do to resolve it. I empathized with her. I told her how much of a valuable member she is and how leaving this job could also affect her. She’s pretty much dead set on her decision to leave. She told me she’s sorry and I’ll do just fine without her. At this point, and as much as it pains me, I had to respect her decision. As we’re both about to go, I reached in for a hug and we both hugged without feeling awkward about it. She then patted my shoulders and rubbed my arm briefly. We both said we had a great time and experience with each other. Of all the time I worked with her, we never hugged or have been touchy-feely/physically affectionate with each other. I then put my arm on shoulder and wished her happy birthday since her birthday is coming up in a few days. She was glad I brought it up and she had no problems bringing up her age. I don’t know if women being open about the age thing could be a cultural-thing since she’s originally from Latin America. Overall as I was walking away, I felt good that we both had a very good talk. I felt positive on the drive back home. I didn’t really cared at that point about the mones or if it had any effect at all. What do you guys think? As I was laying in bed last night, it hit me big time that she’ll no longer be there. It felt somewhat like breaking up with someone. It got me down. I’m not only losing a good co-worker, but a very good friend. I know I have to move on, be positive, accept reality: she’ll no longer be coming back. It’s easier said than done and this coming days and weeks will be tough. I’ll get over it. Thanks very much to all your help regarding this. ---
**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/15 "2010-09-21T19:39:58Z")
I’m sorry that it didn’t work, but as I mentioned in our call nothing will break someones free will. It sounded as she had already decided before your meeting and her decision was firm. Although it could be construed as losing a friend, you need to realize that what happened will ultimately be best for her, you and the company. Her leaving will open up opportunities that were not there presently and someone better suited will eventually find you. Also keep in mind that once someone has made the decision to leave the company and then convincing them to stay it will ultimately lead to animosity. There will always be that little notion in the back of someones head that they can NOW get away with anything. They also will always wonder if they should have left and possibly become disenfranchised. I do believe though that the correct decision has been made. I’m also picking up on some potential relationship things going on. Perhaps I am wrong but there seems to be something “else” that has not been mentioned that has wanting to leave. You did mention her age a couple of times and then some touching going on. If she was uncomfortable at her work place nothing in the world would have made her stay 😉. Anyway I’m sure you’ll replace her with someone better. ---
**Author:** ![killersharks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@killersharks](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/killersharks)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/16 "2010-09-21T20:12:45Z")
What relationship things, Steve? She’s just a close-friend at work, not so much outside as we both have our own social circles. There’s nothing going on between us at all. She already has a SO. It’s just that we work really well together and have a good rapport with each other. As for her reasons wanting to leave, she told me when we talked that it was issues with management(I’m not her manager/in management BTW). It has been bothering her for a while. It wasn’t a recent issue and I asked her why didn’t she brought it up sooner and if there is anything we can do to work it out. She said no there isn’t. I asked her a couple of times to work something out first, then if she doesn’t like what she hears, she can leave. But at least try to work something out. She doesn’t want to work anything out. You can say that she reached her breaking point. As for her age, her birthday is coming up in a few months and she’s slightly older than me. I don’t know if that changes her perception of me because I’m younger. The touching part you mentioned was nothing more than a goodbye hug for a colleague. There’s no immediate plans to replace her. It could also be said I want her to stay for my selfish reasons because we both make our work easier for each other. ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/17 "2010-09-21T20:52:37Z")
I think that it seemed like there were was some sort of underlying attraction there that had forced her to leave. Since you said she had a LTR/SO, then the mixed feelings you were giving or she was feeling, might have helped pushed her along coupled with work issues. ---
**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 10:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/18 "2010-09-21T22:18:05Z")
> [@P51Mustang](#): > > I think that it seemed like there were was some sort of underlying attraction there that had forced her to leave. Since you said she had a LTR/SO, then the mixed feelings you were giving or she was feeling, might have helped pushed her along coupled with work issues. Exactly 🙂 All this information was only just provided now. The members here and myself can only give you advice based on what you are willing to share before hand as after, well it’s already over at that point. I’m not accusing you of anything. Your business is your business and not mine except if you ask for advice. I merely pointed out something I observed based on the words you spoke and wrote. I see I wasn’t the only one. 😉 Anyway best of luck and maybe one day management will replace her. ---
**Author:** ![killersharks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@killersharks](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/killersharks)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 11:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/19 "2010-09-21T23:13:22Z")
And I very much appreciate the advices I get from you and the other members, Steve. I just didn’t know whether the information I just brought up were significant beforehand such as her having an SO. So do you both think she was maybe somewhat attracted to me? I must’ve been missing signs. As for my part, yes I find her attractive but I didn’t act on it nor gave impressions and also for the fact that she has a SO. I know not to go in there. I have other female coworkers that I do find attractive too. I practically act and treat them the same way as her, I don’t notice anything similar on their end. I just don’t fish off the company pier. ---
**Author:** ![P51Mustang](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/p51mustang/32/1266_2.png) [@P51Mustang](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/P51Mustang)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847/20 "2010-09-21T23:45:40Z")
> [@killersharks](#): > > And I very much appreciate the advices I get from you and the other members, Steve. I just didn’t know whether the information I just brought up were significant beforehand such as her having an SO. > > So do you both think she was maybe somewhat attracted to me? I must’ve been missing signs. As for my part, yes I find her attractive but I didn’t act on it nor gave impressions and also for the fact that she has a SO. I know not to go in there. I have other female coworkers that I do find attractive too. I practically act and treat them the same way as her, I don’t notice anything similar on their end. I just don’t fish off the company pier. Your body and actions will always give you away, even if you don’t consciously know it. Women pick up on that very easily. Or again it could have been the other way around, but you’ll never know at this point, as long as its a lesson/experience learned, it wasn’t all a loss. [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/trying-to-influence-a-co-worker-professional-reasons/41847.md?page=2)