# update III: Beware of Instant Honesty **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [April 3, 2006, 2:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/update-iii-beware-of-instant-honesty/261 "2006-04-03T14:42:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 28
**Author:** ![Socrates](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Socrates](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Socrates)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 10:28am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/update-iii-beware-of-instant-honesty/261/28 "2008-08-05T10:28:24Z")
> [@tacitus](#): > > I have seen occurances like your class experience many times… and to more extreme levels ! Or, one on one, there are those who will begin talking madly about (highly important in their own view of things) whatever sits under the surface of their brains… at times this is useful and at times this is horrifying and at times this is awfully boring… not every person has good taste in their thoughts, you know… and this has become more problematic because so many people don’t have good social skills, as they interact heavily by text messenging and cell phones where they don’t have to be “all together in one place”… actually sitting down with physical people and having to regulate one’s mind can be challenging…😉 The best of tacitus on the ‘oversharing’ problem that Beta-Nol has, as much as we love that molecule at certain times 😮 … [Not sure what to get, would like osme advice. - #4 by tacitus](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/not-sure-what-to-get-would-like-osme-advice/103/4) tacitus (January 18, 2006): “…I would avoid the heavy energies that even a beta-Androstenol can set in motion, because… although it make some folks communicative, there is also a tendency for certain people to “unload” at length and not shut up…can be a royal pain in the ass…” > [@update IV: Afternoon class w/ IO (x2)](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/update-iv-afternoon-class-w-io-x2/262/2): > > Be thankful you didn’t walk into a crowded bar on Friday night OK… now you learned your Beta-Nol lesson… everybody who experiments with mones has this little enlightenment… i.e. most people have a lot of half-processed, unreflected junk rolling around in their brains… now, since you have a specific context with a specific goal… you want your class to be respectful and pay attention… use the correct tool for the job ! IO or Beta-Nol based stuff while teaching is like trying to cook a nice steak… tacitus (April 3, 2006): “ **Be thankful you didn’t walk into a crowded bar on Friday night** OK… now you learned your Beta-Androstenol lesson… [everybody who experiments with pheromones](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/update-iv-afternoon-class-w-io-x2/262/2) has this little enlightenment… i.e. most people have a lot of half-processed, unreflected junk rolling around in their brains… now, since you have a specific context with a specific goal… you want your class to be respectful and pay attention… use the correct tool for the job ! Instant Openness or Beta-Androstenol based stuff while teaching is like trying to cook a nice steak with chocolate sauce… alright on ice cream, terrible on filet mignon… Instead, your path to maximum success will be [Instant Gentleman](https://a314.com/product/gentleman/) or TAC, for you, go with the Instant Gentleman, it puts the speaker (you) in the “elder storyteller, source of wisdom, Gandalf the Wizard” mode, and THEM into the Homo Erectus children, sitting around the crackling fire, with the wolves howling in the distance… listening quietly with great fascination… Save the Instant Honesty for (ugh, ugh, ugh…) thinks like boring as petrified shit meetings where everybody sits there in a oxygen deprived stupor fixated on their hemhorroids and petty politics… ever find yourself going crosseyed while time is draaaaaaginnngggg along, uhhh blaaah, uhh blaaaah, uh blaaaah…??? NOW a squirt of Instant Honesty could do some real good…” > [@before we move on, could we review the PUTATIVES ?](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/before-we-move-on-could-we-review-the-putatives/476/50): > > Yessss… different vibe OK… b-nol makes you feel like you need to expose deeper hidden layers of yourself, there almost a compulsive exhibitionism at some point, maybe not quite that… I’ve observed with certain folks with large quantities of poorly resolved ESB (scientific term for extra shit on the brain) go into lava flow mode, and intoxicated persons behave, well, pretty damn ludicrously although harmless… never saw anyone become grouchy around b-nol, can be tedious as hell to nod and agree… … tacitus (July 16, 2006): “Yessss… different vibe OK… b-Androstenol makes you feel like you need to expose deeper hidden layers of yourself, there almost a compulsive exhibitionism at some point, maybe not quite that… I’ve observed with certain folks with large quantities of poorly resolved ESB (scientific term for extra shit on the brain) go into lava flow mode, and intoxicated persons behave, well, pretty damn ludicrously although harmless… never saw anyone become grouchy around b-Androstenol, can be tedious as hell to nod and agree… ya don’t say, ya don’t say, izzat so ?, how… intriguing… you inner realizations about the true nature of it all and everything, deeeep dude, I gotta handit 2 ya… puleeeeze, where is the exit door…” > [@Ahhh... the Motormouth Syndrome is a Public Concern](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ahhh-the-motormouth-syndrome-is-a-public-concern/4765): > > one more reason to be sparing with certain [pheromones](https://a314.com/), in certain contexts… 'cause Motormouthism is a contagious disorder of the mind… Warning: this could happen to YOU… :o :o :o By Melissa Dahl Health writer MSNBC Updated: 9:33 a.m. ET July 23, 2007 Like so many of us, Dan Estabrook never even saw it coming. It was a normal day at work when his office manager called him into her office for a normal-sounding meeting — until she unloaded a not-so-normal nugget of information. “I wanted t… tacitus (July 23, 2007): “ **Ahhh… the Motormouth Syndrome is a Public Concern** **one more reason to be sparing with certain pheromones, in certain contexts… 'cause Motormouthism is a contagious disorder of the mind…** **Warning: this could happen to YOU…** By Melissa Dahl Health writer MSNBC Updated: 9:33 a.m. ET July 23, 2007 Like so many of us, Dan Estabrook never even saw it coming. It was a normal day at work when his office manager called him into her office for a normal-sounding meeting — until she unloaded a not-so-normal nugget of information. “I wanted to let you know,” she said, “I’ve taken a live-in lover.” Cue the awkward silence: Estabrook found himself victim of an overshare. Blurting out too much information, or TMI, is something we’re becoming more and more comfortable with, some psychologists\ ([http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19837002/](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19837002/)) say. _We obsess over the mundane details of celebrities’ lives and are eager to tell our own stories on blogs and Flickr accounts. And often, all that online openness seeps into everyday conversations._ **Blame it on narcissism** One psychologist\ ([http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19837002/](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19837002/)) blames the influx of the overshare on an increase in individualism — and with that comes a hike in narcissism. We’re oversharing more now because we’re pretty pleased with ourselves, says Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University. **“We just assume they’re going to be interested because it’s about \me. \Of course it’s interesting!” says Twenge, who is currently working on a book about narcissism among teens and twentysomethings.** But Leslie Reisner, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, is encouraged by all the sharing going on. Calling it narcissism is too negative, she says. “There’s something healthy about sharing,” Reisner says. “It means they know it’s OK to show vulnerability.” Spilling personal details can be a sign of self-confidence, Reisner believes, and 32-year-old Todd Enoch agrees. “When I was younger, I was much more reserved,” says Enoch, who lives in Denton, Texas. “As I’ve gotten older, I’ve broken out of my shell. Now I can share more with people.” And sometimes, Enoch admits, he ventures into overshare territory. He remembers a scene at work when his co-workers were discussing how happy they were that the T-shirts for an upcoming promotional activity weren’t white. “I don’t like wearing white things either,” Enoch chimed in, and then blurted out, “I just sweat at the drop of the hat!” **Breaking the ice** After a statement like that, consider the ice broken. **A well-timed overshare can let others know it’s OK to let their guards down, and it can be a speedy way to make a connection with someone, Twenge explains.** **“You realize you’re not alone,” Twenge says. “Previously, you might have thought, ‘Am I the only one with this problem?’”** But some say that’s looking at a relationship in a very backward way. “People that are oversharing may be hoping for a connection with other people,” says Julie Albright, a sociology professor at the University of Southern California. _Some people with TMI tendencies may be attempting to take a kind of relationship shortcut, going through the motions of an intimate friendship when there isn’t yet one._ That’s what happened to 29-year-old Becca Johnson during a girls’ night out. Johnson was talking to a friend of a friend whom she’d just met when the woman blurted out that she was having an affair with a former employee. _“In a way, it’s sad because you know they probably don’t have people in their lives to share things with,” says Johnson, who lives in **Boston**. “Why else would it feel appropriate to share relationship problems with complete strangers?“_ **Watch where you overshare** **The woman’s secret was safe with Johnson, but psychologists say to be picky about who’s on the receiving end of your overshare. Blurting out too much information can be off-putting to some people.** Estabrook, the office worker, was so shocked at his colleague’s overshare that he hardly said a word in response. But should anyone else decide to confront him with a “live-in lover” overshare, he knows what he’d say. “If someone told me that now, I would probably respond and say, ‘You know, I’m really happy for you,’” says Estabrook, who’s 41 and lives in San Francisco. “‘But I definitely would be careful about what you share with people you don’t know that well.’” \*\*Or, as Twenge puts it, “Not every person you meet needs to know your every problem.” \*\* Wade Stapleton wishes more people would remember that. At the end of a work day, the 42-year-old found himself in an elevator with a woman he’d seen around the office but had never spoken to. Like most elevator exchanges, their conversation focused on the weather — until she took it one step too far. “Oh, the warm weather doesn’t bother me anymore,” she volunteered cheerfully. “I’m at that age where I have hot flashes\ ([http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19837002/](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19837002/)).” And just like that, she’ll forevermore be Hot Flash Lady, at least to Stapleton. “After that conversation, I don’t want to get to know her,” says Stapleton, who lives in Nashville, Tenn. “I know enough about her already.” Now he’s careful to avoid her at every turn. “When I see her now, I try to go the other way,” Stapleton says. Hot Flash Lady might do well to take the advice of Enoch, the self-described sweaty guy, who’s figured out a way to structure his oversharing habits. He’s divided his social sphere into three groups — college friends, work friends and church friends — and he knows what he can tell to each group. **“I have friends I can discuss my gastrointestinal activities with, and friends I can’t,” Enoch says.** He pauses. “That was probably an overshare.”” > [@Ahhh... the Motormouth Syndrome is a Public Concern](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/ahhh-the-motormouth-syndrome-is-a-public-concern/4765/3): > > Heee heee… oh boy have I learned my lesson about over-use of beta nol… stuck_out_tongue cool roll_eyes … yes, yess… that’s great, how interesting !, you DON’T say !.. unh huh… really ? do go on… Noooooo… uh, right… is that a fact ? Awesome… look, I’ve got to go check the bacteria growing on some petri dishes at home, yes, exactly in twenty minutes , every night, I MUST go do this, great seeing you, lets do lunch… sometime… ahh… in the year three thousand ? Fannnnntasstikkkk… wink tacitus (July 23, 2007): “Heee heee… oh boy have I learned my lesson about over-use of beta Androstenol… … yes, yess… that’s great, how interesting !, you DON’T say !.. unh huh… really ? do go on… Noooooo… uh, right… is that a fact ? Awesome… look, I’ve got to go check the bacteria growing on some petri dishes at home, yes, exactly in twenty minutes , every night, I MUST go do this, great seeing you, lets do lunch… sometime… ahh… in the year three thousand ? Fannnnntasstikkkk… ” > [@Test Subjects Wanted: Please Inquire Within, Only Healthy May Apply!](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/test-subjects-wanted-please-inquire-within-only-healthy-may-apply/6137/4): > > Another job for P96… I’ve been more than happy with a [P74](https://a314.com/product/p74/)/P86/P96 combination for mellow deep groove hang out vibes… too much beta-nol can produce “oversharing”… tacitus (October 20, 2007): “Another job for P96… I’ve been more than happy with a [P74](https://a314.com/product/p74/)/P86/P96 combination for mellow deep groove hang out vibes… too much beta-Androstenol can produce “oversharing”…” --- _[View the full topic](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/update-iii-beware-of-instant-honesty/261)._