# urgent (and serious) advice needed from experienced guys with \*shy\* asian girls **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [November 6, 2008, 12:30am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546 "2008-11-06T00:30:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![phillykid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b782af/32.png) [@phillykid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/phillykid)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 12:30am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/1 "2008-11-06T00:30:28Z")
i’ve been using a mix of p74 and mx200, sprinkled with IS and IH depending on occasions, to **very good effect**. so, yes, they work very well on asian girls. (i am asian too, if that matters) here’s the problem with this girl that i am ehh… seeing? i am definitely not a very experienced guy (2 previous LTRs), and i am honestly getting very confused over my current situation, it’s like nothing i’ve previously had. i met this girl three weeks ago over some group dinner. i was sitting beside her and i left a great first impression (no mones used). i didn’t really follow up much, but we somehow met again, and she shared a lot of interesting stories about herself, her family and her childhood. then, we met up a couple times in the next few days over dinner and stuff… and i really enjoyed her company… she can always make me laugh and i think i like that. There was some light kinoing before, but last sunday, I was holding her hands, hugging her and _trying_ to kiss her. I thought everything from the body language to the vibes screams “kiss me”… and I am a pretty good kisser… but she _shyed away_, hiding her head in her clothes a very adorable way. anyway, it turns out that she never had any bf of any sort (she is 23!!) and has no experience in kissing (heck… not even intimate hugging). so things got a little weird, since i was first a little taken back by the fact that she has never dated anyone before. i hugged her for a while more and stole a kiss on the cheek… she was totally blushed and started ehh… acting weird (in a mindless, i-dunno-whats-going-on way). on monday night, i was in her room for about 2h before she sleeps. we just talked and made fun with each other. i intentionally avoided intimate kino because i thought it might scare her off… (now i am behaving weird, not my usual self…) she appeared neutral. last night, she came over to my place to watch the election night live… we watched a movie after obama’s acceptance speech… i was holding her and playing with her all the time… kissing her neck and cheek… and eventually kissed her lips. i kind of _forced_ the kiss, but in a gentle way… she kept _avoiding_ me… but not _really_ avoiding me… and she doesn’t know how to kiss… but still it went well. then, she started making funny sounds and acting weird again. so… i started asking things like “i enjoyed the night, do you like it?”… etc. basically, her responses to all my questions are “i don’t know”… “i am confused”… “i am _scared_”. i think i even said that i liked her and would want to see if we can have something together… she mumbled something along the lines of “i have this important exam in two weeks time…” then she snuggled closer to me… i think i have been too pushy and probably give this a break today and tomorrow. and i have some _burning_ questions: 1. she _never_ verbally said yes or she likes me… but from eh.. everything she is _doing_… i am quite sure she does like me, quite a bit. so the thing is, should i just forget about getting verbal “approval” and just do well… whatever we are suppose to be doing? (like how my ex “pushed my boundary” slowly…) 2. could it be eh… [MX200](https://pheromonelabs.com/product/mx200/) / P74 working too well? 3. is it possible that she is just _really confused_ and don’t know what to do? or fear that a rejection might hurt me? combining 2 and 3 above, it make me feel _bad_ that i am kind of taking advantage of her (her innocent look goes well with eh.. her innocence) if she has no feelings for me but just don’t know how to reject my “advances”… but how likely is it for someone, even very shy girls, to allow a man to hold/hug/kiss, among other things, for hours on different days? i mean… if she is not interested, she could simply eh.. not answer my calls or not come over to my place whenever asked… bottomline: i like this girl. i want to try things out. i expressed my feelings. she remain “shy”? no postive verbal affirmation of her feelings but i would say rather receptive otherwise. so what should i do? ---
**Author:** ![perronec](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/perronec/32/1280_2.png) [@perronec](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/perronec)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 11:11am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/2 "2008-11-06T11:11:07Z")
I, living in Shanghai, feel I am the perfect person to field this question. there are 2 problems i see. neither of them are the [pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/). they are working just fine. Asian girls can get that shy sort of thing going, and it can be annoying. however, it only really comes up in one circumstance. you haven’t made your intentions here perfectly clear. Even though you said you like her and you cuddle and hold hands, you are the man, and you have to lead the way. tell her you think she or something that she does is ‘sexy’. not pretty, not beautiful, not elegant. SEXY. see how that goes. the other problem, is that you trying to make it happen too hard. its got to be give and take, not you give give give. back off for a little bit. try to build some sexual tension. all the shy virgin asian girls i’ve met here have all agreed that sexual tension was the reason we’ve hooked up. ---
**Author:** ![Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gone_with_the_wind/32/2227_2.png) [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gone_with_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 1:20pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/3 "2008-11-06T13:20:05Z")
> [@perronec](#): > > Asian girls can get that shy sort of thing going, and it can be annoying. however, it only really comes up in one circumstance. you haven’t made your intentions here perfectly clear. Even though you said you like her and you cuddle and hold hands, you are the man, and you have to lead the way. tell her you think she or something that she does is ‘sexy’. not pretty, not beautiful, not elegant. SEXY. see how that goes. > … Great advice above. One has to be careful in speaking of “Asians” in general. There are a great number of personalities among Asians. Two with whom I am particularly close have almost opposite personalities. Cultural factors here may have greater import than ethnicity. In my experience making one’s intentions known is key, as perronec described. For this lady as you describe it, the safest way might be over the phone. Not a voicemail. Advantages, - safe for her because you’re not right there - gives her time to mull it over prior to your next meeting - no record like e-mail, texting, etc. Depending on her personality I might not use “sexy.” Something like “I’ve been thinking all day about kissing you.” Another indirect way is if she mentions being friends tell her that you’re not interested in that, that you have plenty of friends. But say it nicely and make it evident that you still are interested in her. She can then connect the dots herself without as much potential for embarassment. ---
**Author:** ![phillykid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b782af/32.png) [@phillykid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/phillykid)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/4 "2008-11-06T14:53:13Z")
thanks guys, you guys are awesome! perronec: you are the man to ask.. lol.. i see your point and i’ll try your suggestion of saying “sexy” (perhaps in a rounded way gone has suggested, buffered with plenty of other fluffs). i have a question about “sexual tension”. what _exactly_ is it? i understand that i shouldn’t be push/push/push and give/give/give… but should i just back off for X days, maybe even not calling? i don’t think she will initiate contact given her personality.. or by saying sexual tension, you mean when we are together, i am sending mixed signals intentionally? could you talk a little more about what is “sexual tension”, and how best to achieve that? gone: when you mean intention, do you mean the “i like you” or the “i want to have sex with you”? if it’s the latter, i am really not sure how to express that… definitely not verbally with this girl… and i am not the physical caveman type ☹ ideas? ---
**Author:** ![Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gone_with_the_wind/32/2227_2.png) [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gone_with_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/5 "2008-11-06T15:18:52Z")
> [@phillykid](#): > > thanks guys, you guys are awesome! > … > gone: when you mean intention, do you mean the “i like you” or the “i want to have sex with you”? if it’s the latter, i am really not sure how to express that… definitely not verbally with this girl… and i am not the physical caveman type ☹ > > ideas? Don’t deviate from your personality. That’s probably what she likes about you already. Just communicate, in your own way but clearly, that your interest in her is romantic. ---
**Author:** ![phillykid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b782af/32.png) [@phillykid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/phillykid)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 3:37pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/6 "2008-11-06T15:37:00Z")
gone: oh… if that… i am very certain that she knows that i am interested in her romantically… friends don’t blush the way she does when i kiss her on the lips… the problem is, she seem to be avoiding the topic (the reasons are rather hilarious… maybe the stars are not aligned for me?) whenever i brought it up and she just bury her head deeper into my arms.. really, i think it would be impossible (bordering on absurdity) if she does all that without any good feelings about me… but i couldn’t seem to figure out what’s stopping her (+we connected well on many other levels).. maybe i should be more patient… and push/pull a bit like perronec suggested. still wondering about the “sexual tension” bit i’ll wait for you perronec 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![perronec](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/perronec/32/1280_2.png) [@perronec](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/perronec)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 11:22pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/7 "2008-11-06T23:22:48Z")
stating your intentions is a contract. once you’ve given a girl this contract, she can’t really act the way this girl is acting. she will either have to leave you(which sounds like it wont happen) or she will have to allow the relationship to get taken the next step(thanks to you taking the lead) however since you haven’t done that its not surprising to me that the kisses you are getting are not exactly voluntary. now for sexual tension… this is a hard one to describe. Usually something i do is after i’ve made my intentions clear, she has stuck around and a little more rapport, i might say something like “we could totally fuck on this table if it weren’t for all these people here.” usually the girl has a slightly stunned look on her face, but remember, she’s already gone down the sexual road with you, so just follow up with some more comfortable(read: fun) stuff, and you’ll be in the sack in no time. making a statement like that creates sexual tention, because you create a senario where sex is a possibility, but you suggest that the obstacles don’t lie within her. they lie in the people around you or you yourself. This is you again leading the way and setting a frame. I wouldn’t worry so much about the sexual tension just yet. stating your intentions is 100 times more important at this point, so get on top of that. ---
**Author:** ![Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gone_with_the_wind/32/2227_2.png) [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gone_with_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 3:04am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/8 "2008-11-07T03:04:10Z")
> [@perronec](#): > > stating your intentions is a contract. once you’ve given a girl this contract, she can’t really act the way this girl is acting. she will either have to leave you(which sounds like it wont happen) or she will have to allow the relationship to get taken the next step(thanks to you taking the lead) > > … perronec has wisdom beyond his years. ---
**Author:** ![Phya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@Phya](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Phya)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 3:44am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/9 "2008-11-07T03:44:03Z")
Great advice here from both Perronec and GWTW. Sexual tension was well described by Perronec. I might put it as the feeling you have, when you know the girl wants to kiss you, so you move right up to her, move in close enough to breathe on her lips – then stop. Right at that moment, that’s sexual tension. Or a more vulgar example would be when a girl is about to give you head, opens her mouth and goes down as far as she can without touching your dick, just breathing on it. That is sexual tension. There are obviously less…extreme examples…sometimes when the chemistry is just right between two strangers walking past each other, there can be sexual tension. Or a cute cashier taking your order and she gives you the eye in just the right way. 😉 That’s sexual tension. > [@Gone\_with\_the\_Wind](#): > > I approached her straightforwardly and won her. The straightforward approach usually works well for me. At the very least, it saves me some time. ---
**Author:** ![phillykid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b782af/32.png) [@phillykid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/phillykid)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 8:41am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/10 "2008-11-07T08:41:20Z")
wow… you guys are AWESOME! special kudos to perronec! update: we had another pleasant evening/night. just sent her home. after dinner, she came over to my place and i basically told her to be my gf… she goes into the shy mode again and replied something like: 1. it’s so “troublesome” to have a bf (meaning? yet she never had one) 2. it’s not logical (she is leaving the country in a few months, may or may not be back) 3. she said “i need to ask my mum” (!!! she is 22!) anyway, undeterred, i continued to cuddle her, playing with her hair and talking… probing… it turns out (she said): 1. she enjoyed spending time with me very much 2. she liked what i am doing to her… all the physical stuff 3. she felt very safe and comfortable in my arms - then proceed to told me two stories on how she was cheated / lied to - also noted: she said it felt like her mum was holding her!! (i hope in a good way) **4. she is scared because i might leave her and make her sad…** i personally think #4 is the real issue.. and i don’t think i handled that well.. i was basically being too honest (damn IH self-effect + i just feel bad lying to such an innocent girl)… i said something like “you have to take certain chances in life… there is no reward without risk… and i would like to say i’ll love you forever and we’ll grow old together.. but i’ve learnt from my past relationships that it’s just not possible to tell… but i would like to give us a try, it’s not like we are getting married.. i think getting into a relationship is part of the “finding out more if we are really made for each other” phase… and i think we are perfect… (+ some sweet talk)” she is kind of convinced but i didn’t push my initial “be-my-gf” question further, since i don’t think i’ve fully addressed #4… we kissed a little more after that (man… i have a lot to teach her here…) given this update that i’ve expressed intention, what are your advices going forward? thanks!!! ---
**Author:** ![phillykid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b782af/32.png) [@phillykid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/phillykid)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 8:46am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/11 "2008-11-07T08:46:15Z")
and since this is a [pheromone](https://a314.com/shop/) forum, if anyone is interested, i switched to a lot of IH and a spray of MX200 (i like the smell)… i may throw in half a spray of ammo when the time is right. any suggestions on this front? ---
**Author:** ![perronec](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/perronec/32/1280_2.png) [@perronec](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/perronec)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 9:20am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/12 "2008-11-07T09:20:02Z")
skip the ammo. use turn up the heat if you have it. also p83 is a good idea. see you skipped attraction. you went right for the comfort and now you are trying to use logic to make her like you. you can’t seduce her yet because you skipped the attraction step. not all is lost, don’t worry. remember attraction isn’t a choice, and telling her “You should be my gf” isn’t going to create attraction. build attraction and then everything else should pretty much fall into place for you. ---
**Author:** ![phillykid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b782af/32.png) [@phillykid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/phillykid)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:35pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/13 "2008-11-07T16:35:37Z")
perronec: what you do mean by attraction and that i’ve skipped it? and hmm… how to create it? ---
**Author:** ![phillykid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b782af/32.png) [@phillykid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/phillykid)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2008, 2:37am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/14 "2008-11-09T02:37:21Z")
another update from last night… we got more intimate and she is getting much better at kissing 🙂 i am thinking of using TUTH.. but i’ve never tried it before and i’ve read reports on OD on asian girls even with 1 spray… hmm… is it worth it? ---
**Author:** ![perronec](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/perronec/32/1280_2.png) [@perronec](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/perronec)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2008, 2:42am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/urgent-and-serious-advice-needed-from-experienced-guys-with-shy-asian-girls/22546/15 "2008-11-09T02:42:43Z")
I don’t think you will OD. I’ve been testing none products over here, and i’ve found asian girls don’t like the smell of ammo, but do seem to react to none. 1 spray would probably be fine.