# "Venting" my Adventures **URL:** \ **Category:** Women's Journals\ **Created:** [January 8, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664 "2009-01-08T20:53:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/321 "2009-04-11T16:02:31Z")
> [@diane999](#): > > It is the “what is me?” question that is so hard to answer. Try to define yourself and your definitions become part of you. Define the new you. Ditto. It is never ending. You have to see something in it’s entirety to really know it. You can never get outside yourself to see yourself entirely. You know “how” to be you – but not “what” you are. All you end up doing is expanding what you are in the attempt to define yourself. Go too far and you explode…😃 … or become part of a greater whole…🙂 > > Yeah, we are kinda the spice rack up here in Lor’s journal, ain’t we? 😛 > > Diane i agree this is exactly what happens when we try HERE to explain it. i think its the goal of those in transcendental meditation and DMT experiments (among so many other things) to figure it out without losing a singular identity in the process. your one with everything and yet still you. the “you” that tries to figure out “what” it is here, ceases to even ask the question in the expanded state because it just “knows”. try putting it into words, and we are crammed back into our limited selves within our limited expressions. the goal to know is there going in- and then “known” and then too big to be reduced into communicatable expression here. :😔: i am realizing i am slowly peeling away the part of me with fears about trying DMT. my “wanting to know” is too damn big. ---
**Author:** ![diane999](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diane999/32/1110_2.png) [@diane999](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diane999)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/322 "2009-04-11T16:42:44Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > i agree this is exactly what happens when we try HERE to explain it. > i think its the goal > of those in transcendental meditation and > DMT experiments (among so many other things) to figure it out without losing a singular identity in the process. > > your one with everything and yet still you. > > the “you” that tries to figure out “what” it is here, > ceases to even ask the question in the expanded state because it just “knows”. > > try putting it into words, > and we are crammed back into our limited selves within our limited expressions. > > the goal to know is there going in- > and then “known” > and then too big to be reduced into communicatable expression here. > > :😔: > > i am realizing i am slowly peeling away the part of me with fears > about trying DMT. > > my “wanting to know” is too damn big. You are so awesome, Lor. You should open your own Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Diane ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/323 "2009-04-11T17:28:00Z")
> [@diane999](#): > > You are so awesome, Lor. You should open your own Restaurant at the End of the Universe. > > Diane i cant; there are already 2 starbucks there…😃 ---
**Author:** ![diane999](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diane999/32/1110_2.png) [@diane999](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diane999)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2009, 10:06pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/324 "2009-04-11T22:06:42Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > i cant; > there are already 2 starbucks there…😃 😮😃 LOL Diane ---
**Author:** ![diane999](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diane999/32/1110_2.png) [@diane999](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diane999)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/325 "2009-04-11T22:11:53Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > wow Diane, i havent quite elicited effects like that from my SO, > but we have some pretty big issues to deal with so > i guess i was hoping EST would offer us some fresh air to remind each other what we’re working towards. > > so far, EST is perfect for everything else,so i will continue to use it. > > Tigerlily, > in re: to > > so far with what i have read, > i resonate very closely with Rick Strassman when he is trying to understand why several of his subjects see similar characters- > _with similar intent toward the subject_ > (which in-of-itself is way spookier than common visions) > Rick mentions that they all feel like they are operating in dimentions parrallel ours, > experiencing things they couldnt make-up if they wanted to, > and that these dimentions > rather than pick-up where the subject left-off, > seem to continue from where they are now,in the experience. > as if > time elapsed > and stuff has happened in-between > and they are now seeing where they are in the adventure. > > if any of this is interesting, i highly reccomend DMT- the Spirit Molecule > > i have read studies, > but his in print seems to have alot more credence than some of the stuff i read that didnt have double-blind and a thought-out filtering system for tolerance of the drug before-hand. > > apparently, > all of the subjects experienced “other” people/entities present. > some had warm feeling towards the subjects, others seem to have no feelings either-way towards the subjects. > these were the majority. > its usually these specific experiences that have the “alien” or “insect” image attached to them. > > i am only on page 206 of a 345 page book,LOL. > > the connection i find in pheromones, > is that > having had experiences that have left impressions, > some i do not ordinarily recall unless there is something which smells like the memory of them. > > this is what some pheromones do. > > i am sure that > specific piecing together of words could trigger memories, > but not the ordinary way we put sentences together. > too limited. > > wow, i could go on forever. > its saturday morning and i have to shower > yesterdays river-canoe adventure off me. > > i think i have a bug in my hair 🙄 According to research that Sir Roger Penrose, our minds are not really physically based, but are rather, a quantum phenomenon. According to Schrodenger’s work with quantum probability, anything that is possible is probable. So, either there are parallel universes that we can slide across to in a quantum way… or there _IS_ a bug in your hair… or _ **both** _! 😃 [http://www.quantumconsciousness.org/](http://www.quantumconsciousness.org/) > **[Rogers Penrose and Quantum Consciousness](http://www.dhushara.com/book/quantcos/penrose/penr.htm)** Diane ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2009, 3:58am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/326 "2009-04-13T03:58:35Z")
> [@diane999](#): > > According to research that Sir Roger Penrose, our minds are not really physically based, but are rather, a quantum phenomenon. According to Schrodenger’s work with quantum probability, anything that is possible is probable. So, either there are parallel universes that we can slide across to in a quantum way… or there _IS_ a bug in your hair… or _ **both** _! 😃 > > [Quantum Consciousness . Stuart Hameroff](http://www.quantumconsciousness.org/) > [Rogers Penrose and Quantum Consciousness](http://www.dhushara.com/book/quantcos/penrose/penr.htm) > > Diane cool, i remember stuart from what the bleep… and so, since a bug in my hair is of no consequence, i never did experience it. had i felt fearful or interested and looked for one, i may have found it based on the idea that a bug may collapse into being . having been on a canoe trip, i would also have _expected_ one. i find it interesting that some of the DMT trips speak of experiencing “self” as The Creator. this could only happen once the trip took them out of their body, so that they could nolonger identify with it. the interesting part to me is that the idea of creating in this dimension so that i can experience the creation in this dimension seems to come from _attention_ to this dimension… what part of me is NOT in this dimension, doing what is already and in the process of being created? is it the me in another dimension collapsing the particles here, through my eyes? i wore EST today. accidentally spilled an unknown dosage on myself, which must have been alot because i got a little dizzy. the SO was in a very bad mood, and said he had a headache and wasnt feeling well. made an unpleasant comment about my perfume being too strong. with all of that said, he wound up in a better mood within 30 minutes. that freaked me out a little bit, bad smell + headache + nausea = good mood? ---
**Author:** ![diane999](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diane999/32/1110_2.png) [@diane999](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diane999)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2009, 5:46am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/327 "2009-04-13T05:46:44Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > i agree this is exactly what happens when we try HERE to explain it. > i think its the goal > of those in transcendental meditation and > DMT experiments (among so many other things) to figure it out without losing a singular identity in the process. > > your one with everything and yet still you. > > the “you” that tries to figure out “what” it is here, > ceases to even ask the question in the expanded state because it just “knows”. > > try putting it into words, > and we are crammed back into our limited selves within our limited expressions. > > the goal to know is there going in- > and then “known” > and then too big to be reduced into communicatable expression here. > > :😔: > > i am realizing i am slowly peeling away the part of me with fears > about trying DMT. > > my “wanting to know” is too damn big. Well, I dunno, Lor. The one time I did experience All as One, there was no thinking involved. I was not my identity. You can’t be just you and be All. That is what got me involved in my discussions with Fred Wolfe. There is an underlying fabric to everything, that everything is part of. But that fabric is, itself, conscious. Fred thinks this is the natural quantum state. I think it is God. I also think the quantum state is God. Anyway, that consciousness is limitless, creative and joyful, but not “mindful” per say. It’s too boundless to be limited by stuff like thoughts. Part of the process I was going through at that time was doing meditation practices that stilled the mind. The yoga asanas had the same effect, plus opening all those pranic energy channels in preparation for kundalini awakening. I don’t know about drugs like DMT, or how they effect the consciousness systems on a fundamental level, because I’ve never tried to go that route. But I firmly believe that every method needs to be studied fully before embarking on any path of this nature because of the potentials for backfiring. Even yoga and meditation has its hazards, like the potential for extreme pain syndromes, psychosis, and unwanted paranormal activity. Diane ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/328 "2009-04-14T18:18:32Z")
thunderstorms all last night and today. feels like a TAH-EST-IH day. might add a putative if i get bored. Diane, let me know what you want for the P96 and i will send it thru paypal if y0u would like. im dyin to try it! sounds stinky and fun. ---
**Author:** ![diane999](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diane999/32/1110_2.png) [@diane999](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diane999)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/329 "2009-04-14T22:28:59Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > thunderstorms all last night and today. Crappy weather here, too. And my boys did a fine job of stopping up the toilet last night. My dear husband, in his eagerness to do his own fine job, plunged the toilet so hard he blew out the wax seal on the _other_ toilet. ☹ He’s been hard at work today to fix his fix. \ I think it is a fine day for EST and P91. Diane ---
**Author:** ![diane999](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diane999/32/1110_2.png) [@diane999](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diane999)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 11:10am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/330 "2009-04-15T11:10:16Z")
> [@diane999](#): > > Crappy weather here, too. And my boys did a fine job of stopping up the toilet last night. My dear husband, in his eagerness to do his own fine job, plunged the toilet so hard he blew out the wax seal on the _other_ toilet. ☹ He’s been hard at work today to fix his fix. \ > > I think it is a fine day for EST and P91. > > Diane $500 plumber bill! ☹ \… \ Diane ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 12:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/331 "2009-04-15T12:59:25Z")
so did the P91/EST combo help? i wore my EST (100mu) to work, nothing else. tips were great relative to sales. my SO is convinced im seeing other people. this could not be further from the truth, i prolly havent been more alone now than ever, thanks to working + household responsibilities. sh!t, i have to schedule in a shower, or a hair-cut. i dont imagine pheromones have anything to do with him being suspicious. i wear way too many girly smells, MX134 is not worn around him, either. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 1:03pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/332 "2009-04-15T13:03:06Z")
> [@diane999](#): > > $500 plumber bill! ☹ \… \ > > Diane holy moly ! time to get friends in the trade! with boys in the house, not so surprising the issue has come up,however. one good thing about being a lowly bartender, i think i know someone in every trade that will work for microbrew 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/333 "2009-04-15T14:41:12Z")
Ouch - a $500.00 bill of any kind hurts. But it is even worse when it is self-inflicted. Lor - I do not know all the details but if you are that busy (and perhaps stressed?) your relationship with him may be taking a back seat to some extent resulting in what he feels as emotional distance. Hence why he thinks you may be seeing some else. The best way to get around that (if it is in fact the case) is to be very intentional in showing your affection for him. I found that when I got really busy with work and stuff I would have to go out of my way to show my wife affection and the shows of affection had to be a little stronger than they normally would be in calmer times. Hope that helps some. ---
**Author:** ![diane999](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diane999/32/1110_2.png) [@diane999](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diane999)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 10:59pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/334 "2009-04-15T22:59:36Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > so did the P91/EST combo help? > > i wore my EST (100mu) to work, nothing else. > > tips were great relative to sales. > > my SO is convinced im seeing other people. > this could not be further from the truth, > i prolly havent been more alone now than ever, > thanks to working + household responsibilities. > > sh!t, > i have to schedule in a shower, > or a hair-cut. > > i dont imagine pheromones have anything to do with him being suspicious. > i wear way too many girly smells, MX134 is not worn around him, either. > > 😕 Does he act suspicious only when you wear EST? I think some guys are allergic to pregnancy. I’ve heard of the very same behavior (being suspicious and accusing) in guys _only_ when their wives were pregnant. Isn’t that weird, and _just awful_? Diane ---
**Author:** ![diane999](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diane999/32/1110_2.png) [@diane999](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diane999)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 11:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/335 "2009-04-15T23:02:54Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > holy moly ! > time to get friends in the trade! > > with boys in the house, > not so surprising the issue has come up,however. > > one good thing about being a lowly bartender, > i think i know someone in every trade that will work for microbrew 😃 The boys put paper towels down the toilet two months ago when they couldn’t find the tp - and this was the result. The amazing thing is no one even had their lives threatened about it - my husband was very understanding about it. That was the EST + P91, I think. Diane ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2009, 1:34am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/336 "2009-04-16T01:34:45Z")
> [@diane999](#): > > The amazing thing is no one even had their lives threatened about it - my husband was very understanding about it. That was the EST + P91, I think. LOL. Good dad. Good mom wearing her EST. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2009, 3:13pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/337 "2009-04-16T15:13:07Z")
> [@bosshank](#): > > Ouch - a $500.00 bill of any kind hurts. But it is even worse when it is self-inflicted. > > Lor - I do not know all the details but if you are that busy (and perhaps stressed?) your relationship with him may be taking a back seat to some extent resulting in what he feels as emotional distance. Hence why he thinks you may be seeing some else. The best way to get around that (if it is in fact the case) is to be very intentional in showing your affection for him. I found that when I got really busy with work and stuff I would have to go out of my way to show my wife affection and the shows of affection had to be a little stronger than they normally would be in calmer times. > > Hope that helps some. thanks,bosshank. i agree with you, its just hard to intentionally show affection after he has been less than nice to me. its funny, as a rule and even when when responsibilities were half of what they are now, i appear emotionally distant. i think its my aquarian personality. ---
**Author:** ![bosshank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@bosshank](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/bosshank)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2009, 3:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/338 "2009-04-16T15:21:39Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > thanks,bosshank. > i agree with you, > its just hard to intentionally show affection after he has been less than nice to me. I understand that … > [@Lor](#): > > its funny, > as a rule and even when when responsibilities were half of what they are now, > i appear emotionally distant. > > i think its my aquarian personality. Some people are like that - my wife can sometimes be like that when she gets uber-busy. I would think that if he has been around for a while he would have figured out that is just your personality. So I would think he might need to adjust his expectations if he is looking for something else … But again I am just guessing not being familiar with all the details … ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2009, 3:26pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/339 "2009-04-16T15:26:26Z")
> [@diane999](#): > > Does he act suspicious only when you wear EST? I think some guys are allergic to pregnancy. I’ve heard of the very same behavior (being suspicious and accusing) in guys _only_ when their wives were pregnant. Isn’t that weird, and _just awful_? > > Diane oooh, _that IS bad…_ nah, he isnt reacting badly to EST. he doesnt react to it much at all. i just think he doesnt like how social i am, when he is my polar-opposite. i dont flirt. i invite him into work ( beg is more like it, i think _people think_ i dont really have an SO. we call him “vera” after norm’s wife in cheers,lol) he knows its silly to think i would have time for an exciting double-life 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tigerlilly](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/tigerlilly/32/2257_2.png) [@Tigerlilly](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Tigerlilly)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664/340 "2009-04-16T19:38:52Z")
This journal moves too quickly! I’m too far behind! 🙂 How’d we go from mystical mysteries of the universe and the super-consciousness to clogged toilets and Lor being accused of having an affair? 😕 I need to catch up… This is clearly the place to be here on PT… 😉 glad to be back with you gals again. [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664.md?page=16) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/venting-my-adventures/24664.md?page=18)