# very very very very low libido **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [July 17, 2008, 7:30pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732 "2008-07-17T19:30:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 6:19am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/61 "2009-06-13T06:19:46Z")
> [@jankren](#): > > Lol, what? Which part are you disagreeing on? The science part or the social part? šŸ˜ƒ eeeek ! how do we not need it biologically ? or better how do men _neeeeeed_ it more? uhg i disagree disagree _disagreeeeeee_ā€¦ šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![jankren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jankren](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jankren)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 6:22am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/62 "2009-06-13T06:22:24Z")
> [@diane999](#): > > Where did you get that idea? LOL Which idea? > [@](#): > > Why is it always so different when the shoe is on the other foot? šŸ†’ > > Making anything a chore is a good way to kill interest. > > But I donā€™t see it that way. I think it is a responsibility and a privilege to have sex with your spouse (both partners!), and to make it as good as possible for their partner. > > _Selfishness_ kills a lot of relationships, whether it is in demanding or withholding. > > Diane Yeah but that Jewish Law seems to make it sound like a man is nothing but a slave labor whose job is to provide the woman with food, clothing and sex. šŸ™„ > [@](#): > > eeeek ! > > how do we not need it biologically ? > or better how do men _neeeeeed_ it more? > > uhg i disagree disagree _disagreeeeeee_ā€¦ šŸ˜ƒ I think first we need to define the definition of sex because for average women sex is mostly more about intimacy while for average men sex can be both intimacy and sexual release or just one of them. šŸ˜‰ By the way Im curious why women tend to get a little offended when someone says that women have less libido than men as if it was a bad thing because I dont think it is. I mean just because you have lower drive than a man doesnt make you less than a man. ---
**Author:** ![diane999](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diane999/32/1110_2.png) [@diane999](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diane999)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 6:52am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/63 "2009-06-13T06:52:13Z")
> [@jankren](#): > > Which idea? > > Yeah but that Jewish Law seems to make it sound like a man is nothing but a slave labor whose job is to provide the woman with food, clothing and sex. šŸ™„ > > I think first we need to define the definition of sex because for average women sex is mostly more about intimacy while for average men sex can be both intimacy and sexual release or just one of them. šŸ˜‰ > > By the way Im curious why women tend to get a little offended when someone says that women have less libido than men as if it was a bad thing because I dont think it is. I mean just because you have lower drive than a man doesnt make you less than a man. Iā€™ll answer that one. It is common myth that women donā€™t need sex or sexual release. That goes back to puritanical European culture that claimed that a woman who was chaste and pure and without desire was good while one with desires was a temptress and evil. Too long men have told themselves that women donā€™t need sex. It is an excuse for laziness and selfishness. Why should a husband worry about satisfying his wife, when she doesnā€™t _need_ it anyway. Why shouldnā€™t a man find a (bad) _mistress_ and leave his (good) _wife_ at home, wanting, since she doesnā€™t _need sex_ as much as he does? ---
**Author:** ![perronec](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/perronec/32/1280_2.png) [@perronec](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/perronec)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 6:53am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/64 "2009-06-13T06:53:34Z")
Jankren, you are refusing to see anyone elseā€™s perspective but your own. just because women donā€™t come up to you with pitifully bad pickup lines several times per day doesnā€™t mean they have less of a sexual drive. we all want sex(and i use this term loosely because thereā€™s more too it than the act itself), but men and women while equal, are different, and act on their sexual drive in a different way. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 2:02pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/65 "2009-06-13T14:02:56Z")
> [@](#): > > I think first we need to define the definition of sex because for average women sex is mostly more about intimacy while for average men sex can be both intimacy and sexual release or just one of them. > > [http://www.pheromonetalk.com/mens-pheromone-advice-tricks-tips/images/smilies/wink.gif](http://www.pheromonetalk.com/mens-pheromone-advice-tricks-tips/images/smilies/wink.gif) > > By the way Im curious why women tend to get a little offended when someone says that women have less libido than men as if it was a bad thing because I dont think it is. I mean just because you have lower drive than a man doesnt make you less than a man. AHHH hahahahahahahahaā€¦ okay, let me wipe the tears from my eyesā€¦ you , my friend, hook up with some very unfortunate women! im not sure who you know that tells you that sex means just intimacy and that women have less a libido, maybe mom or a sister ? this is what happens as a result of guys getting their information from only other guys, because the nonsense circulates and begins to be known as fact. ---
**Author:** ![OoohYahhh](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/ooohyahhh/32/1274_2.png) [@OoohYahhh](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/OoohYahhh)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/66 "2009-06-13T20:51:33Z")
> [@jankren](#): > > ā€¦ > because for average women sex is _mostly more about intimacy_ > ā€¦ > [@Lor](#): > > AHHH hahahahahahahahaā€¦ > > okay, let me wipe the tears from my eyesā€¦ > > you , my friend, hook up with some very unfortunate women! > > im not sure who you know that tells you that sex _means just intimacy_ > ā€¦ Mocking becomes a much more effective device as less exageration is used. > [@Whitehall](#): > > Carrie, > Nothing to argue with there. > However, both men and women need to remember that _ **rejection takes its toll** _. ---
**Author:** ![alwayson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@alwayson](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/alwayson)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/67 "2009-06-13T22:39:11Z")
can we all agree that the sexual launch sequence simply starts differently in men and women? In men it starts physical In women it starts mental But as the sequence goes on, it is pretty much the same for men and women ---
**Author:** ![Whitehall](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/whitehall/32/1087_2.png) [@Whitehall](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Whitehall)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 11:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/68 "2009-06-13T23:14:53Z")
Lor is asking the right question. (ā€œhow do we not need it biologically?or better how do men _neeeeeed_ it more?ā€) Women NEED it when they want to conceive. They may well want it most of the other time and it is a great bonding activity. Yet, a woman has some control on her fertility and oft times will simply shutdown her own libido. As I mentioned up thread, a woman who decides that she does NOT want to conceive - ever or just with her husband, can shut down her drives and ā€œover-inhibitā€ herself. As with so much of sex, she may not have a conscious clue as to why her libido went away - and she doesnā€™t even remember having a libido. Guys usually just know they are horny because they seldom regret impregnation. When a man is TOLD to impregnate or is staring in face the responsibilities of being a parent and provider, he too can become inhibited - thatā€™s the ā€œitā€™s a choreā€ feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/69 "2009-06-13T23:42:15Z")
> [@OoohYahhh](#): > > Mocking becomes a much more effective device as less exageration is used. thanks, 000hyahhh. criticism is your _gift_ . ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 11:48pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/70 "2009-06-13T23:48:09Z")
> [@Whitehall](#): > > Lor is asking the right question. (ā€œhow do we not need it biologically?or better how do men _neeeeeed_ it more?ā€) > > Women NEED it when they want to conceive. They may well want it most of the other time and it is a great bonding activity. > > Yet, a woman has some control on her fertility and oft times will simply shutdown her own libido. > > As I mentioned up thread, a woman who decides that she does NOT want to conceive - ever or just with her husband, can shut down her drives and ā€œover-inhibitā€ herself. As with so much of sex, she may not have a conscious clue as to why her libido went away - and she doesnā€™t even remember having a libido. > > Guys usually just know they are horny because they seldom regret impregnation. When a man is TOLD to impregnate or is staring in face the responsibilities of being a parent and provider, he too can become inhibited - thatā€™s the ā€œitā€™s a choreā€ feeling. im pretty sure my body doesnt want more babies ( i could be wrong?) yetā€¦ libido hasnt vanished. its my guess that this might be a generalization that isnt _completely_ true. im willing to bet that generalizations for both genders are pretty much that. maybe i need to re-evaluate that in 10 years. im pretty sure some women 10 yrs older than me would still disagree, but who knows. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/71 "2009-06-13T23:52:36Z")
> [@OoohYahhh](#): > > Mocking becomes a much more effective device as less exageration is used. lol better stillā€¦ _fascinating_ . ---
**Author:** ![jankren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jankren](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jankren)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2009, 2:22am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/72 "2009-06-14T02:22:28Z")
The scientific fact is that average men have 3X higher sex hormone (testosterone) than average women. Those who disagree with me please provide scientific back up for your claim. > [@](#): > > The reason humans want sex is due to the hormone testosterone, which is predominantly male hormone. A normal maleā€™s body produces 20 times more of this hormone than a femaleā€™s. > > In other words, a male feels the same way after one day without sex as a female after 20 days without sex. A male that has not had sex in 20 days feels the same way as a female after more than a year without sex. > [@](#): > > Iā€™ll answer that one. It is common myth that women donā€™t need sex or sexual release. I didnt say they dont need it. Its just that the pressure is 1000X bigger for men. šŸ˜ƒ > [@](#): > > im not sure who you know that tells you that sex means just intimacy > and that women have less a libido, > maybe mom or a sister ? There are exceptions to the rule and you may be one of such exceptions. But that doesnt mean most other women feel the same as you. You know there is a reason 99% of prostitutes are women. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Whitehall](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/whitehall/32/1087_2.png) [@Whitehall](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Whitehall)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2009, 3:08am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/73 "2009-06-14T03:08:26Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > im pretty sure my body doesnt want more babies ( i could be wrong?) yetā€¦ libido hasnt vanished. Why do we put so much energy into sex? Amoeba donā€™t. Everything you ā€œfeelā€ about sex and libido has to be considered in light of the evolutionary perspective of reproduction. Reading the womenā€™s section and the focus is bonding around a sexual partner. For the menā€™s section, itā€™s focused about FFF (find 'em, f#uck 'em, forget 'em.) Human female libido is either to conceive or to bond the provider. ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2009, 4:57am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/74 "2009-06-14T04:57:42Z")
> [@jankren](#): > > The scientific fact is that average men have 3X higher sex hormone (testosterone) than average women. > > Those who disagree with me please provide scientific back up for your claim. > > I didnt say they dont need it. Its just that the pressure is 1000X bigger for men. šŸ˜ƒ > > There are exceptions to the rule and you may be one of such exceptions. But that doesnt mean most other women feel the same as you. > > You know there is a reason 99% of prostitutes are women. šŸ˜ƒ i hold those scientific facts suspect šŸ˜› prostitutes are mostly women because they are the only ones that take money for it šŸ˜ƒ but you dont KNOW that they 99% women ā€¦ or DO youā€¦ šŸ˜ƒ one more thing- men do have more testosterone, but how does that explain why _some_ women have higher libidos than _them_ ? your going to say other factors are involved, and i would probably agree with youā€¦ but that serves my argument too šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2009, 5:02am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/75 "2009-06-14T05:02:46Z")
> [@Whitehall](#): > > Why do we put so much energy into sex? Amoeba donā€™t. > > Everything you ā€œfeelā€ about sex and libido has to be considered in light of the evolutionary perspective of reproduction. > > Reading the womenā€™s section and the focus is bonding around a sexual partner. For the menā€™s section, itā€™s focused about FFF (find 'em, f#uck 'em, forget 'em.) > > Human female libido is either to conceive or to bond the provider. _as a bartender_, i cannot agree with this. i have watched gals get their thing on while guys pine and wait for them to be over their conquest. and yes, i have tried to slap them out of it,too. as someone on the forum that respects your ideas, i can totally see how this forum has lead you to these beliefs. ---
**Author:** ![jankren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jankren](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/jankren)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2009, 5:10am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/76 "2009-06-14T05:10:40Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > one more thing- > men do have more testosterone, > but how does that explain why _some_ women have higher libidos than _them_ ? You basically indirectly answered your own question. SOME. Yes, as I said there are always exceptions to the rule. Some women do have higher testosterone than some men. But in average higher testosterone is the norm for most men while the opposite for women. One time I read about a story about a woman who took some testosterone injection or something then she stopped because she said she thought about sex 24/7 and wanna jump on every attractive man she saw and its very annoying for her. She also said that the experience made her feel for the ā€˜painā€™ men are going through. šŸ˜ƒšŸ˜ƒšŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Lor](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/lor/32/759_2.png) [@Lor](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Lor)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2009, 5:15am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/77 "2009-06-14T05:15:29Z")
no no no, naughty Jankren ! i didnt say the women HAD more testosterone ! > [@](#): > > Yes, as I said there are always exceptions to the rule. Some women do have higher testosterone than some men. But in average higher testosterone is the norm for most men while the opposite for women. as a matter of fact, i am not talking about flukes at all šŸ˜‰ see, i TALK to other women. what they say, and what you say are very very differentā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Wolfy](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/wolfy/32/965_2.png) [@Wolfy](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Wolfy)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2009, 6:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/78 "2009-06-14T06:27:59Z")
> [@Lor](#): > > one more thing- > men do have more testosterone, > but how does that explain why _some_ women have higher libidos than _them_ ? Women who have higher testosterone levels tend to be in more competitive work places, Lawyers, doctors, etc. They tend to have higher libidos, and are more likely to have male children. (with the prevalence of birth control usage, it is hard to say if these women have more children) Men with lower Testosterone levels tend to have lower sexdrives, > [@jankren](#): > > One time I read about a story about a woman who took some testosterone injection or something then she stopped because she said she thought about sex 24/7 and wanna jump on every attractive man she saw and its very annoying for her. She also said that the experience made her feel for the ā€˜painā€™ men are going through. šŸ˜ƒšŸ˜ƒšŸ˜ƒ I read somewhere a couple of years ago, that young women were taking anabolic steroids to help loose weight and build lean muscle mass not necessarily bulk up like a gym rat but to look hotter in their prom dresses. (this was something about a highschool with steroid problems, but not related to athletics) ---
**Author:** ![diane999](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/diane999/32/1110_2.png) [@diane999](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/diane999)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2009, 6:46am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/79 "2009-06-14T06:46:38Z")
> [@Whitehall](#): > > Why do we put so much energy into sex? Amoeba donā€™t. > > Everything you ā€œfeelā€ about sex and libido has to be considered in light of the evolutionary perspective of reproduction. > > Reading the womenā€™s section and the focus is bonding around a sexual partner. For the menā€™s section, itā€™s focused about FFF (find 'em, f#uck 'em, forget 'em.) > > Human female libido is either to conceive or to bond the provider. You know there are two types of guys interested in women, one type is vested in understanding women, the other type is vested in being right about women. And, Whitehall, about your sperm wars book and all, far be it from me to undermine anyoneā€™s theory or beliefs, or anything, especially if it makes you feel more comfortable around women and gives you the feeling you have a handle on everything. But I gotta ask you, ā€œHow is that working out for you?ā€ Itā€™s an interesting theory and all that, and its pretty obvious someone spent a lot of alone time to come up with it. But please donā€™t tell a woman that she only wants sex when she wants babies. That is the stupidest statement Iā€™ve ever heard from a guy, bar none. Diane ---
**Author:** ![Whitehall](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/whitehall/32/1087_2.png) [@Whitehall](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Whitehall)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2009, 8:07am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732/80 "2009-06-14T08:07:34Z")
Sorry, ladies, but weā€™ll just have to agree to disagree especially since I see little rational rebuttal to my points, namely that sexual behavior is a result of sex, ie reproduction. ā€œpretty obvious someone spent a lot of alone time to come up with itā€ MEowwww Iā€™ll say that this is exactly opposite of the actual situation. Did I detect some hostility there? [Previous page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732.md?page=3) [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/very-very-very-very-low-libido/15732.md?page=5)