I have had the most response with Icebreaker.
Oxytocin is the shit.
Pheros aren’t what you need for your problems. Try Rational-Emotive Therapy. Honestly you sound like you are banging your head against the wall and wondering why your head hurts. If people don’t like you for not being black enough, there is little you can do to change that. All I do know is if you carry that bitterness around with you, it starts exuding from your being in body language and perhaps pheros and people pick up on it.
You have any hobbies? Maybe something to vent your feelings?
I didn’t know there was a specific therapy available. I wasn’t able to articulate my thoughts before because of that, but basically, that’s sort of the direction I was getting to with regards to NJM’s past experiences, I would imagine it could definitely build up and project in sub-conscious ways.
obviously…
Rational Emotive Therapy is a form of psychotherapy, very mainstream, and fairly effective for the sorts of problems Normajean is having. It is a short course of therapy, usually 5 - 10 sessions. It’s not perfect but I believe people will leave the course better able to handle problems. I’d also suggest that her solutions to her problem will be found in some kind of increased spiritual understanding and empathy/compassion. These kinds of things are rooted in irrational hatred and sometimes you need something that is super-rational to explain them and come to an understanding. Naikan or Morita therapies are very good for this, as are many religious and philosophical traditions. You need to cultivate a spiritual side.
Normajean, how connected are you with your African-American roots? You say you grew up mostly white? Maybe that’s part of the resentment? I think you are lacking empathy for alot of the black people that because they were a few shades too dark, got on the bottom of the list and are “bitter and clinging” (thank you Barak Obama) to their resentment… of what you represent to them. Yes, it is stupid to hate people because of their skin color, even if they are putatively “black”, but it’s more about jealousy than pure hatred. They see you as the alpha-dog and think they can whip you into the omega-dog, so they vent their frustrations on you. It’s petty, stupid, but tilting windmills will get you nowhere. I suggest a therapist to work through this.
When these people lash out at you and reject you, they are just screwing themselves in the end. You seem like a very sensitive person and have alot of positive attributes for people to appreciate, if they open their eyes and look. Don’t be bitter just because they are lazy.
Oooh.. I like your style. 
Seconded
I won’t bring up any more thatn I have aout my past, but I am not the problem. In person, I am a very sweet, gentle person and most definitely spiritual. I am doing this for my man, not them. It’s their issue, not mine. I make strides to keep touch with the AA part of my life, but each time I do I get treated poorly. I am happy with my life and this man is my furture husband and I will do what I can to make our life together happy. Thanks for all the suggestions.