# What to do, and what not to do? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [December 12, 2009, 11:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-do-and-what-not-to-do/34795 "2009-12-12T23:45:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![blueshogun96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8edcca/32.png) [@blueshogun96](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/blueshogun96)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 11:45pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-do-and-what-not-to-do/34795/1 "2009-12-12T23:45:12Z")
Wow, it’s been a really long time since I’ve been around this forum (since February, lol). Lately, I’ve been a really busy man trying to get my life together. Since I’ve been gone, I’ve moved to Washington state (no more mid-west, yay)! Right now, I’m busier than ever. I’m working 7 days a week and so far my normal day is about 10 hours of work on average, so after work, I go to sleep, and go back to work. It’s rough, but it’s crucial to survival 🆒 Okay, before I continue, I’ll once again share with you all one of my fairly long stories (well, this will be a short version because I got to get to bed soon). In general, I’m not very active in seeking relationships and what not. My interest level in dating and marriage is mostly gone so if this latest attempt fails, it’s no big deal. So, there’s this girl at my job that appears to be taking interest in me. I’m not 100% sure, but I think it’s worth a try (especially since I like her personality so far) and maybe this time I’ll actually have a lasting relationship. Her name is Destinee. I think it’s a lovely name, but she doesn’t like it. I noticed that she would glance and smile in my direction from time to time and for a change, I really like someone again. I’ll admit that I am a catastrophic disaster when it comes to women. I always screw things up one way or another even when I tried my hardest not to. One thing I tend to do each time is do/say something that completely ruins the moment (i.e. the wrong compliment/gift at the wrong time or something of that nature). That’s bad enough, but this is probably my biggest problem, I get aroused for absolutely no reason (especially when I get excited), meaning I don’t even think of anything sexual around “her” nor does the word sex or the thought of undressing her comes to mind, and I still end up getting an erection, so even a smile can trigger it and this is something that I cannot help. This is really humiliating because I’m not a pervert and sex is not a motivation at all. I read a thread on how women can detect that you are aroused by your sweat, so I really hope that this didn’t ruin my chances. Confidence has also been an issue with me. So if you remember me from from early this year, you’ll remember that I’m a typical computer nerd bearing most of the stereotypes that come with it (thick glasses, loves video games, and social skills with women are generally bad). Fortunately, so far she doesn’t appear to treat me any differently, but still seems a bit nicer to me than anyone else. I don’t know why I feel this way again all of a sudden, but one of these days, I’d like to be able to say this literally, “Excuse me, but I have a date with Destin[ee]”, lol. I did buy some pheremones in the past, but I never got around to trying them out because my first attempt was stomped because she already had a boyfriend and I’m not a home-wrecker. So I still have Instant Honesty, [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/) and Instant Shine. I misplaced Instant Shine and Honesty, so I can’t remember what strengths they were. Instant Openness is 2x. I’d get some more, but I’ll have to wait until payday first. Which one/combination of the three should I use? Where should I spray them and how much? I just want to find some way to break the ice and get into a comfort zone for the both of us. One more thing, I was wondering what to give and what not to give her out of friendliness. Once I gave a girl a laptop computer and I got a funny look. I do have some bottles of gold dust that I randomly give to people when they show random acts of kindness to me in one way or another. I’d like to giver my last one (I’ve been saving it for someone special) but hopefully I don’t ruin everything that way. I’m just getting tired of ruining a good vibe every time. Any comments are welcome, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![tonyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/34f0e0/32.png) [@tonyman](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tonyman)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-do-and-what-not-to-do/34795/2 "2009-12-13T00:47:27Z")
I don’t know about the [pheromones](https://pheromonelabs.com/) (I am new to them), but you might wanna consider improving your social skills with women. If possible, work less than seven days a week and give yourself some time to pursue interests/hobbies in a social situation where you are likely to meet women. This means don’t join a computer group where there are no women 😉 Try activities where women hang out large numbers - yoga classes, book clubs, dance classes. Remember that your goal is not to destroy them with your intellect - it is to get to know them as people. Having more female friends will really help your social skills with the opposite sex. If you are lonely and horny, you might be tempted to make a move on your female friends, but this will be counterproductive if your goal is to improve your comfort levels around women. If you get more comfortable around women, you might find that you are not getting so many unwanted erections at inappropriate times when you are talking to them. This will increase your chances of success with ones/the one you are actually interested in. > [@blueshogun96](#): > > I’ll admit that I am a catastrophic disaster when it comes to women. I always screw things up one way or another even when I tried my hardest not to. One thing I tend to do each time is do/say something that completely ruins the moment (i.e. the wrong compliment/gift at the wrong time or something of that nature). That’s bad enough, but this is probably my biggest problem, I get aroused for absolutely no reason (especially when I get excited), meaning I don’t even think of anything sexual around “her” nor does the word sex or the thought of undressing her comes to mind, and I still end up getting an erection, so even a smile can trigger it and this is something that I cannot help. This is really humiliating because I’m not a pervert and sex is not a motivation at all. I read a thread on how women can detect that you are aroused by your sweat, so I really hope that this didn’t ruin my chances. Confidence has also been an issue with me. So if you remember me from from early this year, you’ll remember that I’m a typical computer nerd bearing most of the stereotypes that come with it (thick glasses, loves video games, and social skills with women are generally bad). Fortunately, so far she doesn’t appear to treat me any differently, but still seems a bit nicer to me than anyone else. I don’t know why I feel this way again all of a sudden, but one of these days, I’d like to be able to say this literally, “Excuse me, but I have a date with Destin[ee]”, lol. ---
**Author:** ![conundrum12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/46a35a/32.png) [@conundrum12](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/conundrum12)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 7:26am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-do-and-what-not-to-do/34795/3 "2009-12-13T07:26:23Z")
not to sound dramatic, but pheromones aren’t going to solve your problems. they may assist in your progress with women, but your problems are clearly things you need to consciously work on. I’ve read a lot of books. some on people pleasing, some on finding happiness in life, and very few on dating. one I’ve read on dating is called the mack within. It is absurdly helpful. Despite the ridiculous title, this book is a goldmine for building self confidence. It’s what you make it, if you want to learn to mack women you can have many women from his advice if you develop yourself in that way. If you want to become more secure around women it does that. Before you judge, at least read the reviews [Amazon.com: The Mack Within (9781594481796): Tariq Nasheed: Books](http://www.amazon.com/Mack-Within-Tariq-Nasheed/dp/1594481792/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1260688726&sr=8-1). Pheromonewise, I’d recommend some A314 to help with some self confidence, ammo could help w confidence and attraction, and I’d mix either ammo or a314 with some IH, some IO, and some IS to help conversation. practice makes perfect, relax and have fun. stop giving women laptops, and I’d go easy on the gold glitter. seriously read the book it will be the best thing you’ve ever done for your confidence EDIT: I should emphasize do not take everything in the book at face value. pimping isn’t what you should do imho. But take his messages with a grain of salt and apply them to your own, non-mack, situations. Please don’t flame me too hard for this post I’m just trying to help.. I only say this because if I saw people recommending macking books to build self confidence I would be somewhat skeptical. but this is no ordinary mack book, my pheromone using comrades ---
**Author:** ![Xiphoid](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/xiphoid/32/1852_2.png) [@Xiphoid](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Xiphoid)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 6:08pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-do-and-what-not-to-do/34795/4 "2009-12-13T18:08:39Z")
> [@blueshogun96](#): > > One more thing, I was wondering what to give and what not to give her out of friendliness. Once I gave a girl a laptop computer and I got a funny look. I’m just getting tired of ruining a good vibe every time. I think I’d give a funny look too if I got given a laptop…🙂 It’s a quite expensive gift which is fine if it’s for girlfriends/wives for B-days or X-mas etc but a bit much as a “just because” type gift, especially if you’re not in a relationship with the recipient. It’s also not a very romantic gift… & us ladies love romantic gifts & cute gestures 😉 Not only because it makes us feel special & appreciated, but it’s also great to brag about to our girlfriends. My advice, as D isn’t your girlfriend, would be to go for something inexpensive but _thoughtful_; something that shows you’ve put some thought into what type of things make her smile. For example, if you overhear her talking about a movie/musical/show etc she read about or would like to go see…surprise her with 2 tickets. If she’s the kind of girl who always complains about being cold; a scarf or gloves in her favourite colour. If she loves a particular coffee place; a thermos/tumbler from that shop (Starbuck’s tumblers are ACE 🙂). If she likes any particular foods/snacks bring a packed lunch or her favourite muffins etc You get the point… To make an impact with a gift it has to be thoughtful & personal 🙂 Avoid generic stuff like chocolates, flowers & perfume