# What to wear when making an apology? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [June 16, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784 "2011-06-16T23:43:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Pat83](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/71e660/32.png) [@Pat83](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Pat83)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/1 "2011-06-16T23:43:46Z")
I’ve been too intrusive to her space and she snapped last Friday. Mutual friends said I should give her more space so for the past week we have only been exchanging greetings and that’s it. Friends told me she isn’t angry (at least not anymore) but she doesn’t want to talk as much as before. We used to spend half an hour a day talking (she spends about another half an hour talking with other people) but the manager is pressing her to show better numbers. I’ve also realized what I did that set her off. She has been telling me how some people annoyed her and I never realize I was doing the same so now am going to change a few things around her (no more asking her about her schedule and no more popping up behind her cube wall). Friends’ advice is that I should start behaving normally bit by bit and don’t apologize or tell her what changes I have made. I am fine with that advice and am looking for something that would smooth the transition period. I have [Ammo](https://a314.com/product/ammo/), A314, TUTH, IG, IO, IH, IS and pocket IJ. Please help, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 11:57pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/2 "2011-06-16T23:57:57Z")
IH IG and Ishine. Says ALL the right stuff ---
**Author:** ![M\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@M\_M](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/M_M)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 12:08am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/3 "2011-06-17T00:08:54Z")
UNLESS you said something UGLY, I wouldn’t apologize for liking her, and wanting all her time. 😕 Keep it as is. Greetings with a smile, and on your way. You talking to other people at the job about the situation is NOT A GOOD IDEA, either … IF … you asked me. :o Help out the opponent/enemy, why don’t you? 🙄 AND! If you’re one of the people that annoy her … well, HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! D I S T A N C E … give it to her. My two pennies, and NOT one penny more! If you’re desperately seeking and needing Suzy … what Steve said … IH, IG and IS, and **annoy** her with a smile. 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![ScienceStudent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@ScienceStudent](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ScienceStudent)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/4 "2011-06-17T02:55:12Z")
> [@Pat83](#): > > I’ve been too intrusive to her space and she snapped last Friday. It’s never wrong to apologize for something – “I’m sorry I’ve been popping up in your cube when you told me you don’t like that,” would be the fastest recovery! Short, and sweet. At least with me, I’d likely forget anything negative ever happened. It’s when you don’t acknowledge something negative that it gets focused on. Leave that in focus long enough it becomes long-term memory / association with you. ---
**Author:** ![Pat83](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/71e660/32.png) [@Pat83](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Pat83)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:00am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/5 "2011-06-17T03:00:06Z")
> [@M\_M](#): > > UNLESS you said something UGLY, I wouldn’t apologize for liking her, and wanting all her time. 😕 I did not say anything bad. I simply asked her when she is going home that day because I want to be sure she is going to be there when I present her the birthday gift. I haven’t asked about her schedule in a while because she told me she doesn’t like it but since timing is an issue that day, I asked. Talk about turning a good day into the worst day of the year. > [@M\_M](#): > > Keep it as is. Greetings with a smile, and on your way. You talking to other people at the job about the situation is NOT A GOOD IDEA, either … IF … you asked me. :o Help out the opponent/enemy, why don’t you? 🙄 One mutual friends is a girl and my confidant. The other is a guy close to all of us (including the confidant) but he like Latino girls so my affection is not his type. > [@M\_M](#): > > AND! If you’re one of the people that annoy her … well, HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! D I S T A N C E … give it to her. > > My two pennies, and NOT one penny more! > > If you’re desperately seeking and needing Suzy … what Steve said … IH, IG and IS, and **annoy** her with a smile. 🙄 It is what I do sometime that annoys her, not who I am. I cannot believe I did not pick up the hints she dropped. In any case, I hope tomorrow goes well. Mutual friends are going to find out if she is receptive tomorrow. Thanks Steve and M&M ---
**Author:** ![gtw1983](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@gtw1983](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/gtw1983)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:06am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/6 "2011-06-17T03:06:06Z")
Just for fun I wonder what would be the absolute WORST thing to wear for a humble apology? A314+IJ+TUTH perhaps? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Pat83](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/71e660/32.png) [@Pat83](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Pat83)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/7 "2011-06-17T03:07:14Z")
> [@ScienceStudent](#): > > It’s never wrong to apologize for something – “I’m sorry I’ve been popping up in your cube when you told me you don’t like that,” would be the fastest recovery! Short, and sweet. At least with me, I’d likely forget anything negative ever happened. It’s when you don’t acknowledge something negative that it gets focused on. Leave that in focus long enough it becomes long-term memory / association with you. I agree with you but the risk is if she is not willing to talk about it, she might just walk away. The simply behaving normally approach seems safer as she is usually pleasant around me but I hate the idea of leaving something unresolved. I also believe that she might have thought my birthday present is something I got to buy-her-off after annoying her. I got it days before and actually has a surprised planned. ---
**Author:** ![M\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@M\_M](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/M_M)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:09am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/8 "2011-06-17T03:09:30Z")
> [@Pat83](#): > > I did not say anything bad. I simply asked her when she is going home that day because I want to be sure she is going to be there when I present her the birthday gift. I haven’t asked about her schedule in a while because she told me she doesn’t like it but since timing is an issue that day, I asked. Talk about turning a good day into the worst day of the year. > > One mutual friends is a girl and my confidant. The other is a guy close to all of us (including the confidant) but he like Latino girls so my affection is not his type. > > It is what I do sometime that annoys her, not who I am. I cannot believe I did not pick up the hints she dropped. In any case, I hope tomorrow goes well. Mutual friends are going to find out if she is receptive tomorrow. > > Thanks Steve and M&M Well, if what you do annoys her, I’d be it’s just who you are. Still … on my planet, ‘I’ write the rules, and you have that right, too. I will always say, do what makes YOU happy. But you don’t want to be the WEIRDO that won’t go away, no matter how much you like her. Believe it or not, some people are just best left alone, and alone. If only ALL women thought a like. 😃 Hang in there! Head up, shoulder back, chest out, slower step, and SMILE! 😉 And I still would NOT apologize. Load up on IS and keep smiling. **P.S.** And start paying attention AND listening! You’ll get to know the real character of all those you hang with. Lots of women, I KNOW, count on men not listening. You should see some of the faces when I repeat stuff said years and months ago. Another good reason … LIES change, the TRUTH is always that same. THINK someone lied to you … ask the same question the next day, and see how much it changes. ---
**Author:** ![RADMAN513](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/radman513/32/364_2.png) [@RADMAN513](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/RADMAN513)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 1:21pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/9 "2011-06-17T13:21:02Z")
I gotta agree with M on this one. It takes maturity to apologize when you do something wrong, and because of that apologizing is acknowledging that you did. What did you do wrong? You liked her enough to want to spend time with her and wanted to make sure she’d be available so that you could give her a gift. If you apologize for that you’re lowering your own value to such a degree that even a friendly and well meaning gesture is something you could feel bad about after the fact depending on her mood at the time. Now, like M I would suggest working on your social awareness a bit. Pay attention, women tend to be non confrontational..TEND… This is why they will say “I have a boyfriend” or “I can’t make it, I have plans that night” instead of “I’m not interested”. So really pay attention to things, a lot of times women are telling you things without overtly saying them. The problem with this method of communicating is when they deal with a guy that doesn’t know how to read between the lines, they get frustrated and anger builds up, but they’ll continue with the subtle approach until they realize the guy won’t understand anything but a direct response…unfortunately by the time they’re ready to tell you in plain and simple terms, they’re already angry and that comes out along with whatever it was they wanted to communicate but not actually say. Personally, while I do think you could have been a bit better at being socially aware and getting what she was saying…your intent wasn’t mean spirited or even just plain neutral…you wanted to give her a gift. If somebody was planning on doing a kindness for me and I found out after the fact that I was rude or hostile toward them for it…ir would be ME apologizing for misunderstanding and making somebody feel bad for wanting to be a friend. You may not have intended to offend her with your actions but raised voices and hostile words are conscious acts…so depending on what was actually said…her intent WAS hostile. If anything you need to have enough self respect that you consider that kind of aggression unacceptable. Like I said, work on your social awareness to avoid future situations like this, but I’m a little tired of seeing nice guys actually being made to feel bad for liking a woman too much. If she wants space, give her that, and leave it up to her to initiate closing that gap. Cause seriously, I haven’t met a woman yet that was so important to me that I’d apologize for wanting to make her birthday special. ---
**Author:** ![M\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@M\_M](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/M_M)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 1:44pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/10 "2011-06-17T13:44:58Z")
> [@RADMAN513](#): > > **Cause seriously, I haven’t met a woman yet that was so important to me that I’d apologize for wanting to make her birthday special.** I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again! **UNDERSTANDING** (self and other people) is the **MOST IMPORTANT** **tool** on this big round ball labeled Earth! 🙄 Radman for **President!** 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ScienceStudent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@ScienceStudent](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ScienceStudent)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 4:09pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/11 "2011-06-17T16:09:16Z")
> [@RADMAN513](#): > > …If you apologize for that you’re lowering your own value to such a degree that even a friendly and well meaning gesture is something you could feel bad about after the fact depending on her mood at the time… He SAID he had been popping up in her cubical unannounced – she might have perceived that as stalking or spying. Since it’s at work, the normal coworker thing to do would be to apologize. It’s all in how you word it. If he’s making constant apologies he going to seem obsequious. If a guy never apologizes, he’s an ass. Somewhere in the middle, and he’s a normal human being. Seriously guys need to stop this “trying to hard to be tough” crap, and just be decent on occasion. I don’t know what the gift is; maybe she’s nervous about receiving a gift from him, that it would mean “something,” or hates her birthday, or is just feeling stressed because being asked about time reminds her she behind in things. It doesn’t have to be worded as in “I’m sorry I caused…” just “I’m sorry your birthday wasn’t as special as you’d like.” (You know, the way people who are NOT at fault say “I’m sorry your dog died.”) ---
**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 4:58pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/12 "2011-06-17T16:58:23Z")
> [@ScienceStudent](#): > > It’s never wrong to apologize for something – “I’m sorry I’ve been popping up in your cube when you told me you don’t like that,” would be the fastest recovery! Short, and sweet. At least with me, I’d likely forget anything negative ever happened. It’s when you don’t acknowledge something negative that it gets focused on. Leave that in focus long enough it becomes long-term memory / association with you. > [@Pat83](#): > > I agree with you but the risk is if she is not willing to talk about it, she might just walk away. > > The simply behaving normally approach seems safer as she is usually pleasant around me but I hate the idea of leaving something unresolved. I also believe that she might have thought my birthday present is something I got to buy-her-off after annoying her. I got it days before and actually has a surprised planned. So by that standard you would apologize for things you did not do? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![M\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@M\_M](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/M_M)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 5:11pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/13 "2011-06-17T17:11:43Z")
> [@ScienceStudent](#): > > He SAID he had been popping up in her cubical unannounced – she might have perceived that as stalking or spying. Since it’s at work, the normal coworker thing to do would be to apologize. > > It’s all in how you word it. If he’s making constant apologies he going to seem obsequious. If a guy never apologizes, he’s an ass. Somewhere in the middle, and he’s a normal human being. Seriously guys need to stop this “trying to hard to be tough” crap, and just be decent on occasion. > > I don’t know what the gift is; maybe she’s nervous about receiving a gift from him, that it would mean “something,” or hates her birthday, or is just feeling stressed because being asked about time reminds her she behind in things. > > It doesn’t have to be worded as in “I’m sorry I caused…” just “I’m sorry your birthday wasn’t as special as you’d like.” (You know, the way people who are NOT at fault say “I’m sorry your dog died.”) “Hey! M to the M is coming to your cubical!” Come on, really!? 😃 This is what America has become. I’m attracted to you, I stop by your cubical UNANNOUNCED, and I’m seen as a stalker. Not saying that’s the case, but there’s actually people out there that would consider it as such. Scaaaaaary! I apologize for what I do WRONG, not when I’ve been labled wrong from the WRONG people’s standards. To me, that’s not trying to be hard … that real. Still … if you look at someone these days, you’re gonna have to start apologizing. Smile at someone you’re attracted to, and they’re not attracted to you … you’re gonna have to apologize. Wake up America! You’re losing it! 😃 🙄 But when the smoke clears … everyone writes the rules of their planet … no matter how messed up others my see it as. Go return your gift, and use the money for a movie. And I still wouldn’t apologize. 😃 I don’t know, SS; and I’ve been wrong before. Lots of times, too! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ScienceStudent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@ScienceStudent](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ScienceStudent)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/14 "2011-06-17T17:12:50Z")
> [@Steve](#): > > So by that standard you would apologize for things you did not do? 😕 Oh jeez, hyperbole. Yes, of course. 🙄 I was talking about the demeanor. Seems way to many guys undervalue a simple apology. But no, don’t take my advice. I only know from the other side, from my past. If I felt things were off about someone (usually I couldn’t tell exactly _why_) I’d be less happy with/around them. If that someone said “sorry,” the minor issue would vanish from my mind and I’d literally forget about it within a week. AND their value would go _ **UP** _. Like, wow, a guy who can apologize – that’s rarer than Francium. “hmm, maybe we won’t have any awful, horrible fights that will make me want to break up.” (Also, if I tell a guy something he does annoys me “it tires me out when you complain non-stop for hours” and he actually _quit_, he might have a chance.) ---
**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/15 "2011-06-17T17:14:27Z")
> [@Steve](#): > > IH IG and Ishine. Says ALL the right stuff Now that I have a little bot more time to post, I would add that this is basic [pheromone](https://pheromonelabs.com/shop/) advice. My opinion is that you should NEVER apologize to someone because you were saying hello and being friendly. NEVER! Sounds like she has issues of not producing, whatever it is she needs to produce, and instead of taking responsibility for her failures she’s blaming it on the guy who is nice to her. I bet you can be nice to her and still produce what is required of yourself. Since she cannot she has found a way to blame you. Oh yeah why not apologize for the holocaust while you’re at it 🙄. I worked with a person like that before. I was always nice, always helping them, always answering the same questions over and over and fixing their mistakes which were continually repeated. Instead of thanking me though they decided I was the cause of all their problems. I didn’t apologize I just stopped completely doing anything for them and then I simply pointed out their mistakes. I would not correct those mistakes though and its funny because when there was blaring incompetence behind it, the only thing they could do was reply sarcastically. LOL, it spoke of who they were as a person and where they stood developmentally. The moral of the story is if I apologized to that person, who reminds me of this same attitude you posted about, I enable them to continue down the path of disillusionment. I also give them the power to go to their boss and say hey, it was all Steve’s fault, that’s why he apologized already. Instead their incompetence took control of their life and in the end, well lets just say I still smile everyday and wish the best for them. Apologize for something you didn’t do you have enabled someone to abuse you and blame their problems on you. If you apologize for things you didn’t do it lowers your value and then it makes you an ass. Not the other way around. ---
**Author:** ![ScienceStudent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@ScienceStudent](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ScienceStudent)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/16 "2011-06-17T17:36:40Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve been too intrusive to her space and she snapped last Friday… > I’ve also realized what I did that set her off. She has been telling me how some people annoyed her and I never realize I was doing the same so now am going to change a few things around her (no more asking her about her schedule and no more popping up behind her cube wall). I’m not saying she is not at fault, just that they both are. He realized he did something wrong, ergo, apology will improve the matter. Chances are if he does, she will to. She’s not here asking for help. He is. A guy apologized to me this morning for “cutting me off on the phone last night” – he didn’t, he just asked if we could talk later since he was still at work. (I wouldn’t have expected him to answer since he was working, so it didn’t bother me.) By acknowledging that what he did may have seemed rude, I actually like him better. (And I’ve only seen him once, after weeks of long-distance chatting.) ---
**Author:** ![M\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@M\_M](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/M_M)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/17 "2011-06-17T17:42:10Z")
> [@ScienceStudent](#): > > I’m not saying she is not at fault, just that they both are. He realized he did something wrong, ergo, apology will improve the matter. Chances are if he does, she will to. She’s not here asking for help. He is. > > **A guy apologized to me this morning for “cutting me off on the phone last night” – he didn’t, he just asked if we could talk later since he was still at work.** (I wouldn’t have expected him to answer since he was working, so it didn’t bother me.) By acknowledging that what he did may have seemed rude, I actually like him better. (And I’ve only seen him once, after weeks of long-distance chatting.) That’s the TRUE POWER of woman, SS. Women have been running this planet since UG when out and brought back a dinosaur leg for UGGETTA; and believe you, me, I have no problem with that. I do, however, have a problem with them running ME. “I LOVE YOU, S/S,” and I ‘AIN’T’ apologizing for that, either! 🙄 😃 You’d hate me, 'cause I’d be hugging you each and every time I saw you; and that would be just cause I like you! 😛 Visiting your planet would probably kill the average man! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SteveO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@SteveO](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/SteveO)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/18 "2011-06-17T17:46:20Z")
> [@ScienceStudent](#): > > I’m not saying she is not at fault, just that they both are. He realized he did something wrong, ergo, apology will improve the matter. Chances are if he does, she will to. She’s not here asking for help. He is. > > A guy apologized to me this morning for “cutting me off on the phone last night” – he didn’t, he just asked if we could talk later since he was still at work. (I wouldn’t have expected him to answer since he was working, so it didn’t bother me.) By acknowledging that what he did may have seemed rude, I actually like him better. (And I’ve only seen him once, after weeks of long-distance chatting.) Yes he apologized for a percieved act of rudeness. Saying hello and being friendly is not a perceived act of rudeness though and that’s the point I’m making. He didn’t say he was interrupting her, he SAID it was a mutual conversation that she very much took part in. So when the boss told her she wasn’t getting her work done, she took something she was actively involved in and blamed the other party. That’s like spilling coffee on your keyboard and blaming the person who made the pot. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ScienceStudent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@ScienceStudent](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ScienceStudent)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/19 "2011-06-17T19:39:32Z")
> [@M\_M](#): > > …You’d hate me, 'cause I’d be hugging you each and every time I saw you; and that would be just cause I like you! 😛… Hahaha, I’d LOVE it–I LOVE affection, I’m just shy about initiating it. 😕 And a guy who is _truly_ generous, like the one that offered to help me move the couch I’m about to buy. _ **:DYUM:D** _ \<– There needs to be a dancing icon. 😛 (This is different than when people do things _for_ me if I them to _teach_ me, or like the guy who sends me directions when I’ve already googled it.) > [@M\_M](#): > > Visiting your planet would probably kill the average man! 😃 My natural superpower of oblivion kicks in again – I don’t understand this. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ScienceStudent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@ScienceStudent](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/ScienceStudent)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784/20 "2011-06-17T19:55:46Z")
> [@M\_M](#): > > “Hey! M to the M is coming to your cubical!” Come on, really!? 😃… See I got the impression he was doing it multiple times a day, and he did say something about “30 minutes” on a daily basis – if that’s during work time, HE’S not doing his job either. Everyone is responsible for how we react to things, but to some extent, we are also responsible for how our actions are perceived. It doesn’t matter that he’s doing it in a “friendly” way by his perceptions, if it’s not getting the results he desires. I grew up in a family that laughs and makes silly jokes at each other all the time. We’re happy. We love and support each other. It’s never biting or truly sarcastic, just loving-teasing and being facetious sometimes. I have difficulty not “being myself.” I’m pretty much the same person around all people, until I decide they’re toxic (then I just ignore them or simply state I’m not interested in their company). Even with strangers, light-hearted teasing, never anything serious. But I _try_ to dial it back until they have a chance to know it’s _me._ I don’t know their background; maybe teasing was always negative, so they would perceive me as being negative even though it is not my intent. In that case, I simply state that I did not mean it that way, although I did nothing “wrong.” A great misconception is that an apology is an admission of guilt. [Next page](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-to-wear-when-making-an-apology/50784.md?page=2)