# What would work to become a better conversationalist or more social? **URL:** \ **Category:** Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports\ **Created:** [April 26, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-would-work-to-become-a-better-conversationalist-or-more-social/55411 "2012-04-26T22:37:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Munch25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Munch25](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Munch25)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-would-work-to-become-a-better-conversationalist-or-more-social/55411/1 "2012-04-26T22:37:53Z")
Hi y’all. Ill get straight to the point. I have introverted tendencies and Im often tense or uncomfortable in social situations with either gender. Its not that Im not nice or not friendly, or not smart, I am intelligent friendly and nice to others, I just dont often have what to say in one on one conversations. There are people that excel at small talk and can make conversation with ease. Thats not me. Im sick and tired of these situations where someone comes over and says “Hey \_\_\_\_ whats going on?” And I reply “good, great.” End of conversation. It takes effort for me to make conversation. I want to talk to people. I like people and want to get to know them better. Im not anti social at all. I just feel blocked up. It doesnt flow from me and I want to change that. What would work to relax me and also kind of activate the social part of my brain to make me feel more chatty? I would like improve my social skills with some help of pheros. Please let me know what you think can help. Thanks for your input. ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 1:30am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-would-work-to-become-a-better-conversationalist-or-more-social/55411/2 "2012-04-27T01:30:48Z")
I used to have exactly the same problem and, to a lessor extent, still do. What helped me was to put myself in social situations where I have an interest in common with the person/persons I want to chat with, i.e., a shared activity. That way there is always common ground to buzz on. For me, trying to chat up a stranger in a bar is difficult but talking endlessly about something I and the other person share and love is easy. As you get get comfortable the conversation will naturally flow off-topic. If you don’t have a passion to share with others, pretend to have one and join a community theatre group, church choir, tennis club, etc. The shared activity makes it easy to initiate small talk. As far as mones and chattiness, I’m pretty much immune to self-effects (been using too long). However, there are mones that certainly help loosen target tongues in social situations. My fav daily “friendly” mone is SOE. It has a heavy dose of alpha nol plus a touch of rone for a wee bit 'o respect without the heavy authoritative alpha air of A314. The effect is mild but the oil base lasts all day, so you’re ready anytime. Any nol product will enhance chattiness and products like [Instant Openness](https://a314.com/product/instant-openness/) are a good place to start if you have time for a zap or two. The ultimate moto-mouth product is Spaceland but it seems to been shot into outer space but you could use a heavy dose alpha nol Experimone instead. I prefer the strong Experimone over Spaceland plus it lacks that funky hippie scent. ---
**Author:** ![mobocaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mobocaster](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/mobocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 2:10am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-would-work-to-become-a-better-conversationalist-or-more-social/55411/3 "2012-04-27T02:10:31Z")
Welcome to Pherotalk! 🙂 Gegogi has pretty much got it covered. Alphanol and IO are probably your best bet and easiest to use for starters. [Instant Shine](https://a314.com/product/shine/) could also be useful but it is shorter acting overall and its self effects are probably the quickest adjusted to of any AD phero but as a tool for occasional use, it could be good. Similarly, I find a combination of IS/IH works well as an alternative to Alphanol or IO - in a “quality vs quantity” way. Alphanol can unleash a torrent of drivel, esp in younger people but IH, which is many betanol, which encourages deeper/closer conversation - the IS steers that into happy/feelgood/playful territory. Another thing you might want to consider is that for promoting a deeper inner confidence change, A314 is also excellent and has maybe the longest persistance of self-effects of any AD phero. I’m still getting the good of them over two years down the line - However, on a shy/reticent person it can appear remote and standoffish and I find that it does not go at all well with alphanol/IO - the effects are just wrecked, so that will not offset it. However I have found that using P114 alongside A314 can turn it into a talk monster with no loss of status/confidence - but then nearly everyone expects you to tell them what to do! :o If you do go the A314 route, oil is by far the best - very subtle and long-acting. Your application will work all day as opposed to about six hours for the sprays. Oil is also most economic in the long run - a bottle will last several months at a couple of drops a day, compared to just 40 sprays for the alcohol version. However, the best way to overcome shy/introverted behaviour is to work on your confidence/social problems apace. Pheros won’t do it all for you - there are many ways and strategies. Combine solid improvent here and the pheros will help everything fall into place nicely - It can be done, although there may be many faltering starts over a long period. It took me around five years and yes, I still have the occasional bad/utterly non-social days. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tisha23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@tisha23](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/tisha23)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 3:09am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-would-work-to-become-a-better-conversationalist-or-more-social/55411/4 "2012-04-27T03:09:32Z")
I agree IO would probably be the best bet only because it gives you more opportunities to practice conversing more. See IO may make you talk but it wont make you a better conversationalist. Engaging in conversation does that. In other words IO doesn’t make you know what to say. I agree with Gegogi that engaging and practicing is how you will finally feel comfortable and become a good conversationalist. IO just increases the opportunity to do that. Tisha ---
**Author:** ![21wq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/ccd318/32.png) [@21wq](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/21wq)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 11:25pm UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-would-work-to-become-a-better-conversationalist-or-more-social/55411/5 "2012-04-27T23:25:44Z")
> [@Munch25](#): > > What would work to relax me and also kind of activate the social part of my brain to make me feel more chatty? Beer 🙂 (depending on the environment) ---
**Author:** ![Gegogi](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/pheromonetalk.com/gegogi/32/1536_2.png) [@Gegogi](https://pheromonetalk.com/u/Gegogi)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 12:27am UTC](https://pheromonetalk.com/t/what-would-work-to-become-a-better-conversationalist-or-more-social/55411/6 "2012-04-28T00:27:52Z")
Yes, I use beer daily and it is great!